Birthday month entry: March 31

With my last birthday month entry, I only want to tell you a few important things. No matter how hard life may seem, it is short compared to eternity. You might be thinking that getting to Heaven is impossible because of the world's constant assault on you along with the demons that fill your mind with temptations and excuses for sins, but you should have no fear. God is merciful and wants to forgive you, so confess to God and go to confession as soon as you can when you know that you've committed a sin so you can receive the right graces to overcome your weaknesses. We can all make it to Heaven if we place our trust in God. Thank you all for reading my blog entries and my books. I hope to see you all in Heaven one day! I'm praying every day for that to happen.

Lizzie and the Lunatic's Library: Chapter 1 - An Adventure for Knowledge

Chapter 1 – An Adventure for Knowledge

There are stories about places that hold ancient and secret knowledge that could change the world. All of them are just fantasy and wishful thinking, however, Lizzie is on the hunt for a real library of knowledge. She traverses an ancient city that was known for its wisdom that was burned down hundreds of years ago. While scouring through the ruins, she finds the ruins of a library. All the books were either burned or taken by scavengers years ago, so she isn’t able to find any. What she does find is a switch hidden in the floor that’s deep below the ground. To activate it, she takes off one of her arms and pushes the switch. It activates a hidden stairway that leads below the city.

The staircase is lit up by fires of white flame. At the end of the staircase, Lizzie finds a hole in a wall. She can’t see what’s inside nor can see use her arms to reach it. The shape of the hole suggests that heads are meant to go in it, so Lizzie takes off her head and her arm and uses them to make her head go into the hole. The only thing at the end of the hole is an eyehole that she uses to peer into what’s beyond it. Looking into the eyeholes reveals a well-kept library filled with mannequins that are walking around and reading books.

“I’ve finally found it,” Lizzie says to herself.

She then tries to pull her head back but is unable to. While looking around to see what the problem is, she sees that she’s in the library now with her entire body with a wall behind her that doesn’t have any eyeholes on it. While wondering how she managed to get to the other side of the wall, a tall librarian mannequin with six arms in a long skirt and a frilled short-sleeved shirt approaches her from behind.

“Hello, miss. My name is Ms. Ebrietas and welcome to the library of knowledge that you have been searching for,” the woman says.

“How do you know I was looking for this place?” Lizzie asks.

“Everyone who searches for knowledge eventually ends up here.”

“How did I end up on this side of the wall?”

“I transported you here. I learned the magic trick from a book on spells.”

“You have those kinds of books here?”

“We have every kind of book here. Just look above you. There are ten floors of books separated by genre. For example, we have books on theology, history, philosophy, various kinds of fiction and nonfiction, and politics though that section is always messy to navigate.”

“I’m looking for deeper knowledge. The kind that you can’t find anyplace else.”

Ms. Ebrietas smiles.

“So, you’re the adventurous kind of learner. That’s perfect. I used to be like you. In some ways, I still am. Would you like to know more about the library?”

“Yes, I do.”

Ms. Ebrietas’ smile widens as she picks up a book off a nearby shelf and opens it. Lizzie is sucked into the pages of the book along with Ms. Ebrietas. When she blinks, Lizzie sees that she’s above the ancient city and watches as it’s being attacked.

Ms. Ebrietas narrates, “The city was knowledgeable in all things except man’s tendency towards violence. They thought that if they could maintain peaceful relations with everyone then they wouldn’t have to spend many resources on their army and could just focus on their prosperity and quest for knowledge, however, that wasn’t the case for an empire that took tricked the city’s inhabitants into thinking they were friendly only to launch a surprise attack and burn the city down in a day.”

As Ebrietas narrates the history of the city, Lizzie watches as the city goes through the story she tells from the times of peace to the day of destruction. Lizzie tries to touch a book on the floor but is almost hit by a fire arrow and pulls back her hand in response especially since she can feel the heat that comes from the fire.

“Watch yourself, miss. The people in the story might not be able to see you, but they can still hurt you.”

The two transport themselves to a burning library.

“As the city was being looted, one librarian who valued knowledge more than life and sacrificed his soul to make this library, so that knowledge of all kinds will survive.”

Ms. Ebrietas closes the book she’s holding. This forces both of them out from the book and back into the library.

“Who did he give his soul to?”

“Some say a demon. Others say an angel. I prefer thinking that it was an angel because how can knowing more lead someone to ruin?”

“Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge of good and evil?”

“This knowledge isn’t forbidden by God as far as I know.”

“How did you become a librarian here?”

“I could write a book on that, but I’m sure there are many stories here that are more interesting than mine.”

“Where should I even start?”

“Where do you want to start?”

“I don’t know. I had an idea where to start if I found a place like this, but now that I’m here and looking at it, I have no idea.”

“Okay then. Where does your heart tell you to start?”

“Hmm.”

“If you can’t think about it, then ask yourself why you came here in the first place.”

“I came here looking for deeper knowledge. I want to know the secrets behind knowledge itself.”

“Maybe theology is your choice? God is the source of all knowledge after all.”

“I wouldn’t say that I’m looking for religious texts. Maybe it's better if I am more specific. I want to know why I need deeper knowledge to begin with.”

“Now that’s a special section of the library few go into, but I’m sure you’ll find your answers there. Let me show you to it.”

Ms. Ebrietas shows Lizzie to the elevator. The elevator shoots up as soon as Lizzie steps on it and it appears as if it’s going to smash into the ceiling. Instead, the elevator goes through the ceiling as if it wasn’t there.

“Welcome to the eleventh floor of the library,” Ms. Ebrietas says.

The eleventh floor is lit with black flames, unlike the other floors that had torches with white flames. The black flames give the floor a darkened light that lights up the floor in an ominous way as some places are lit up while others are pitched black. As Ms. Ebrietas leads Lizzie through the maze-like series of bookshelves, Lizzie sees that there aren’t any mannequins here unlike the other floors.

“Do many people go up here?” Lizzie asks.

“No. Few do because they have yet to realize the true value of knowledge, but you have realized it,” Ms. Ebrietas says before picking up a book shaped in the form of a head. “I remember being up here for the first time and spending days here reading through all the books until…”

“Until…what?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you, but you will find what you want even though you might not know what it is yet. I’ll leave you to it.”

Ms. Ebrietas gives Lizzie the skull shaped book.

“Thank you. Are there any more…Ms. Ebrietas?”

As Lizzie looks around, she sees that she is alone. She can hear someone walking in the darkness and assumes that it’s Ms. Ebrietas. Even though she isn’t sure, she keeps the thought in her head to keep her comfortable as she enters the skull shaped book. She opens her eyes to see the anatomy of the brain, pictures of skulls and the anatomy of other animal’s brains. There’s a skeleton in the center of it all with her and as soon as she moves, eyes open up all over the skeleton’s body.

It says, “Do you want to learn why we seek deeper knowledge? Well, of course you do. That’s why you went through the effort of finding a book like this, right? Think about knowledge and the beings that use it. God, angels, the devil and his angels, and us humans. You aren’t some lower being, are you?”

Lizzie transforms into a cat. She’s unable to think clearly and is only able to move when she feels like it and isn’t completely in control of her actions.

“Do you see how it feels to be a lower being? This is what it feels like to not be knowledgeable.”

Lizzie then completely disappears. She feels and sees nothing or rather it would be more accurate she can feel less than nothing. She feels nonexistent.

“This is what it feels like to not know anything at all or rather how it feels like not to exist.”

Lizzie pops back into existence and chokes as she catches her breath. She then feels a rush of energy go through her body as a blue light radiates from out of her.

“And this is what it feels like to be enlightened. To be like those in Heaven. To be like God. Doesn’t it feel exhilarating? With this intelligence, you can do whatever you want in life until the day you die. You can rearrange your body and shape yourself and the world around you to your will’s desire. This is the power of deeper knowledge. If it’s not tempting you with its sweet song now, then I don’t know what will.”

Lizzie shapes her body in the way she wants with the clothes she wants while shaping the world and the events that move in without even moving. Instead, her head races with a thousand thoughts per millisecond as it uses the power as its disposal to enact Lizzie’s will. After that rush, all the power leaves her as she returns to normal.

“Seek deeper knowledge. Learn the secrets behind reality. Know how to use your mind for more than mere thinking and you will have enlightenment and transcend the limits of your mind.”

The book shuts itself as it ends and lets Lizzie out of it.

“Wow…” Lizzie whispers to herself, “I have to read more.”

Lizzie begins to frantically look through the shelves for books she will think will help her in her quest for deeper knowledge.

Birthday month entry: March 30

Context is important. These times have confused what is good and evil, so you should know the context of what you're looking at or doing so you know whether or not you should bother with it.
- Is the naked picture you're looking at made to show the beauty of God's creation, the beauty of the human form, or is made to be lewd and enticing?
- Are you working the job you have now because it is the job God wants you to do or are you working just because you want the money?
- Are the violence and horror in the story you're reading/watching there to show the disgustingness of evil and sin or are they there just for show value and edginess?
There's a big difference between Silent Hill and a guro hentai game. Make sure you know what the difference is and why you should care.

Birthday month entry: March 29

It is important to enjoy yourself in life. Happiness and joy are the things that make life bearable, but try not to enjoy sinful things. Sinful or evil actions might seem good because they might make you feel good, but they are far from it. They corrupt and destroy your soul and once the good feelings are over, you'll only feel regret and guilt. Some of us have tricked ourselves into making sin appear virtuous, so I ask that you look up what is and isn't sinful and to make no excuses for yourself or the sin. What's good and evil is set in stone and can't be changed no matter what the times, other people, or demons might say.

Birthday month entry: March 28

Try to read more. Now, I'm not trying to say read more of my books (you totally could), but try to read more of what interests you. If you don't like reading "normal" books, try starting with comics, manga, or short stories. From there, try reading theology and other Catholic books on topics that you question. You have plenty of time while you're stuck inside and you find many books online for free, so why not give spend some time reading a good book?

New cover by Fhunde!

Check out this amazing work by 

@Fhundeart

 for my book, Broken Porcelain. Click the link below to go to the book's page to download it for free.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1010993

Birthday month entry: March 27

With how things presently are, I'm sure people are trying to keep busy. That's good and all, but have you ever thought about mediation or some form of good relaxation in hobbies or fun activities? Some say that quietness is the ultimate form of prayer especially since God works best in the people that stay still and await His command. The world tells you to constantly keep moving and work yourself over for it so you can get some reward that seems appealing, but only lasts a short while. Be still for once. Take a breather and let God talk to you for once in the silence.

Birthday month entry: March 26

If we have a particular sin that we struggle with, God will give us challenges to help us improve ourselves. Sometimes, He gives us challenges even we don't ask for them especially if we forget to trust in Him or refuse to. Having trouble with your worries? You will be sent reminders for ways not to worry or you will be given more worries not to make you despair, but to make you remember to trust in God. Not sure if you should quit the job you dislike and find a different one? I'm sure the present situation with the virus is helping you answer that question. Struggle with finding a reason to work? God will help pique your interest in something that you will find satisfaction in doing for the right reasons. If that doesn't work, then He'll give you the right motivation or the right kick to make you work. Always remember that He has your best interests in mind and no matter how bad things might seem, things will work out in the end.

Birthday month entry: March 25

Today is my birthday and I'd just like to remind you of a few important things that I might've already said or alluded to. God will win in the end. He is Love and Truth itself and will not allow any injustice to go unpunished, no sin unpaid for. Things will get better. God has not abandoned us, His Holy Catholic Church. He is always with us especially in our darkest moments when we need Him the most. God is always faithful even to the heathens and heretics who disrespect Him every day. He gives us every day to repent and to make our lives better. He always gives us more than we deserve. Keep these truths in your head and you will never worry or be discouraged. I hope you all have a great day and most importantly, I hope to see you all in Heaven one day! God bless you!

Reading a chapter of one of my stories

I've just made another video reading a chapter of my book. You can find the link to the story in the video's description if you want to read it for free. This is my second attempt at doing this, so I hope you enjoy it!

Birthday month entry: March 24

The most revolutionary thing to do today is to be normal. What is strange, weird, grotesque, and sinful is the new normal and acceptable. This should come as no surprise for a sinful world that will take any reasonably sound excuse for the evil things that happen day in and out. You know you're doing the right thing when the world hates you. Things such as; submitting to rightful authorities, loving and respecting your parents, loving and submitting to God, and more were once normal and respected and now looked down on. This is what happens when sin is normalized and society is changed for the worse because of it. To change things for the better, we need to be rejecting sinful behavior, destroying the things that cause us to sin, and not excusing it, otherwise, we risk the further degradation of society.

Birthday month entry: March 23

There are very few people today who don't draw the line somewhere in their beliefs. Those who talk about being broadminded or inclusive are liars because as soon as you cross a line they don't like, they'll turn on you and hate you.  Everyone draws the line somewhere in their beliefs, otherwise, everyone else with their beliefs will walk all over theirs and they will be forced to be silent to keep the illusion that they're fine with the beliefs of others as a person's beliefs have no real effect on reality when in fact they do. If a person hates themselves or hates other people, who's to say they won't hurt anyone? If a person doesn't think a certain course of action is evil or wrong, what's to stop them from doing it? Certainly not the person who is okay with people of all beliefs. God knows that these people practice sinful behaviors and have false beliefs that they use paper-thin excuses for.

Broken Porcelain is complete and out for free today!

Download on Smashwords - https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1010993

Can parents who abuse their children really be called parents?
Elena is a victim of abuse and is adopted into a better family only to run away from them when she thinks that they'll hurt her because of something she did. She finds herself trapped in a mansion filled with other dolls who were abused.
Does Elena find herself trapped by another abusive parent or is there more to this situation than there seems?

Broken Porcelain: Chapter 4 – Abused and Abuser

Chapter 4 – Abused and Abuser

Once Elena arrives on the third floor, she sees that the floor is gone and the only thing that she can walk on to explore further are spikes that jut out from below.

“Am I really supposed to walk across these?” Elena asks herself.

She looks around to see that there’s no way around the spikes and makes sure what she sees isn’t an illusion by touching a spike with her finger.

“I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Elena carefully walks across the spikes to discover that they don’t hurt her feet.

“I just have to walk like the princesses in the fairy tales. Soft steps. Soft steps…”

With soft and careful steps, Elena makes it through the spikes and steps on a platform only to see nothing to step on ahead of besides darkness.

“Now what…”

“Now, you trust me,” a familiar voice says.

Elena looks in the darkness to see the faint face of the girl who is supposed to be working with Mia’s parents.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to fall into the darkness. You will shatter, but I will put you back together.”

“I’ll…shatter?”

“This is what scares away everyone and convinces the other dolls to hate us. I wish this could be done differently, but Mia has set it up this way. The only way, so you’ll have to trust me.”

“…Okay. I see. You’ll have to tell me one thing for me to trust you.”

“What is it?”

“What’s your name?”

“My name?”

“Yes.”

“My name is Camilla.”

“My name is Elena. It’s um. Nice to meet you.”

“Now will you trust me?”

“Yes...”

Elena takes a step into the darkness and falls until she shatters on the floor. She’s then put back together with magic. When she regains consciousness, she takes a breath of relief.

Camilla walks out of the darkness and says, “You are the strangest doll I’ve ever seen. You seem so shy and scared, but you’ve done something that even the bravest dolls refused to do.”

“That’s because I want to go back home to my parents. Now tell me how I can be free along with the others.”

“I don’t have any control over that. Mia does.”

“Mia’s parents are here with you, right? Can I talk to them?”

“Go right ahead. You’ve shown them that they can trust you.”

The same large doll that Elena saw before comes out of the darkness except now she sees all the deformed limbs and other cracks and holes on the doll that would suggest that it shouldn’t be living or living comfortably at least.

“E-excuse me. Can you talk to Mia to free us from this place?”

The large doll touches Elena’s forehead and shows her the full memory of what started this. After their magical clash, Mia’s parents forced her and themselves into this mansion to contain Mia’s rage.

“I’ll make sure no other doll suffers because of their abusive parents!” Mia proclaims, “I’ll do the same thing to them that I did to you when I get out of here!”

Mia places a spell of her own on the mansion that attracts hundreds of young dolls who have suffered because of their parents.

Once the vision is gone, Elena says, “So, you placed the spell that trapped Mia and yourselves here.”

“We did it to trap our dangerous daughter in here. We did it to make her learn her lesson,” Mia’s parents say in a combined and pained voice.

“That’s not going to do anything.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I suggest that you go talk to her.”

“She’ll just fight us. Do you see what she did to my face?” Camilla says.

“You have to try,” Elena persists.

“What makes you think she’ll listen to us?”

“You’re her parents. You love her, don’t you? If you can do all this magic, you can make your daughter see that you love her, right?”

“…We’ll try.”

Mia’s parents make a large door appear in the darkness that they open.

“I hope you’re right about this. Otherwise, things are going to get really messy,” Camilla says.

“This should work,” Elena says with some confidence.

Mia’s parents, Camilla, and Elena walk through the large door that leads to where Mia and the other dolls are on the ground floor. The dolls scatter in fear as Mia stands her ground.

“I see that you monsters now have two lapdogs and you say I’m the one with devil horns. I wonder where I get them from,” Mia says.

Mia’s parents clench their fists. Elena holds their hand to calm them down.

“Mia…We want to apologize to you for what we did,” Mia’s parents say as they get down on one knee to lower themselves to her.

“I want to apologize to you for hitting you. I lost myself in my anger again despite promising not to,” her father says as his voice becomes dominant, “Can you please, forgive me?”

“I…I won’t!”

“Mia,” her mother’s voice says as her voice becomes dominant.

“What?!”

“We love you. We’re sorry that we’re not the parents that you want, but we’re still your mom and dad. It’s our responsibility to take care of you and love you no matter what, so that’s why we promise to try harder this time. Can you forgive us?”

Mia begins to break into tears.

“Your-your magic isn’t going to help you convince me! This is a trick! I…I…”

Mia’s parents embrace her as she cries.

“Mia. We love you,” her parents say in one voice.

Mia continues to cry until she gives in to her feelings and hugs her parents. The other dolls come out of hiding and in tears wishing they were with their parents.

“I…I love you too, mom and dad,” Mia says in a pained voice.

With Mia’s confession of love for her parents, they turn back to normal and the doors of the mansion open as the entire place is filled with light. Mia and her parents promise to help the dolls with their abusive parents as they get rid of their magic powers.

Elena asks, “Aren’t you going to use your magic to help other people?”

“Magic didn’t help us come together. It only separated us. Instead, it was the love between us that solved everything. Magic shouldn’t be used by anyone anyway. It’s too powerful and evil,” Mia’s dad says.

“Oh. Well, I’m going to go back home to my parents. They’re probably worried about me.”

“I’ll see you in town, Elena, we’ll be around. If you need help or a friend, don’t be afraid to ask,” Mia says.

“Okay. I hope to see you soon!”

Elena says goodbye to Mia, her parents, and other dolls as she goes back home. She’s hesitant as she nears her house and is shocked to see her parents waiting at the front of the house. As she cautiously approaches them, they catch her in their sights and run towards her.

“Elena! You got us so worried when you ran away!” her dad says.

Elena’s natural reaction makes her close her eyes and raise her hands, but instead of being scolded, she is embraced by her mom and dad.

“Are you okay, Elena?” her mom asks.

“Y-yes. I’m sorry for running away, mom and dad. I was afraid of getting hit by you for no good reason.”

“Don’t worry about that. We forgive you, Elena.”

“Please, don’t scare us like that again, okay?”

“O-okay.”

Elena says as she begins to cry. Her parents pick her up, take her home, and make her a big dinner to celebrate her return.

The End

Birthday month post: March 22

There's always a bright side to things. Despite the gloomy nature of the present day, God uses all things to bring about good things. For example, because of the current circumstances;

• Families can spend more time together
• Student loans and evictions are halted to ease people's burdens
• Because there are no masses and the parishes relieve the faithful of going to Mass on Sundays, those who endanger themselves by receiving Jesus in mortal sin and those who refuse to go will no longer hurt themselves or their families with their sins
• Rest is given to the hard workers who work themselves over at their jobs
• Children and young adults are no longer going to schools that don't properly educate them
• Given the extra time that people have on their hands, they can reevaluate their lives, ask some big questions, focus more on God, and the like
• Simpler and essential jobs will receive the respect they deserve.  Along with this, people who work online such as myself will receive more attention for our work

So, you see that not everything is bad. Every situation has a good side to it and something can always be learned from it. Keep your heads up and place your trust in God, if you haven't already. He will never let you down.

Birthday month entry: March 21

Metal and hard rock are my favorite genres because my favorite bands within this genre perfectly show what life feels like, at least in my opinion. The intensity is there to show how life normally is with slow songs here and there for the brief moments of relief. The intensity is also for the fight for our lives, our beliefs, and the love for we have for others.

Broken Porcelain: Chapter 3 – Eyes Forced Open

Chapter 3 – Eyes Forced Open

As a light begins to hit her eyes, Elena wakes up in her bed. She looks around the room to see that she’s back home.

“Is this real?” she asks herself as she struggles to remember where she was before.

Her mom and dad enter the room with a bowl of soup and a glass of water.

“Mom? Dad?”

“Hello, Elena. We’ve brought you some food to help you feel better,” her dad says.

“Your friend came over to see how you were doing,” her mom says as Mia enters the room.

“Mia?”

“Hey, Elena. I told your parents everything about what happened, even the parts you missed.”

“What did I miss?”

“A doll managed to make to the third floor and helped be free from the mansion that we were trapped in. It was all thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me? What did I do?”

“You triggered a trap that the other doll was going to walk into. Don’t you feel anything?”

Elena looks at her legs and arms to see that they’re cracked. She’s barely able to move them though she has more movement in her arms.

“Take it easy. We’re going to properly put you back together, so you don’t lose your original arms and legs. Once you’re all better, we’ll throw a big party.”

“Doesn’t that sound great, Elena?” her mom asks.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well. I’ll let you rest for now so you can get better quicker. See you later. Elena!”

“See you.”

Elena’s dad puts the tray of food on Elena’s lap.

“Eat slowly, honey,” her dad says.

Her mom and dad sit by her bedside and hold her.

“We’re sorry if we scared you,” her mom says.

“We promise not to anymore. We’ll be gentle with you even when you mess up,” her dad reassures.

Despite the warming feeling, Elena feels that something is off. Her eyes feel a tingling in them as if they’re telling her things aren’t how they should be. She moves her arms around and pushes her head forward only to hit an invisible wall.

“I knew it,” Elena says.

“I can’t fool you anymore, can I?” a feminine voice says.

The illusion of her home fades as Elena begins to see that’s she’s in a box that collectible dolls in except this one is her size and her hands, legs, and head are strapped to keep her from moving. She sees that she’s on top of a shell with other dolls who are in the same position. In front of her is the same eyeless doll that she saw before that Mia said was the adult’s lapdog except, she appears normal with eyes where they should be and her mouth not in a permanent smile.

“You’re that girl Mia told me about.”

“What did she say? That I’m a lapdog?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, do you believe her?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Why did you try to come up to the third floor if you don’t know?”

“Because I want to try to talk to you and the adult to set us free.”

“Really? What were you going to tell us? Do you have a big speech for us?”

“No.”

“So, you were just going to wing it?”

“Kind of.”

“Do you know that no one has been able to reach us on the third floor?”

“No.”

“Hmm. Are you still going to try in spite of what I told you?”

“Yes.”

“Ha! You were going to just go up to us without a plan?”

“Yes. I want to go home to my parents.”

“So, you don’t hate your parents?”

“No. I love them.”

“Huh. That’s a first. Every other doll that I talked to hates their parents because their parents hurt or abused them.”

“Why does this place attract those kinds of dolls?”

“It’s Mia’s doing. She’s the real villain here. She believes that her parents abused her and she thinks that she can use the other dolls to help her get to them.”

“How? Didn’t you and the adult set up these traps for us?”

“No. Mia did it or rather, she set up the ground floor and third floor’s traps, while we made the first and second floor’s trap.”

“Why?”

“To stall until Mia’s powers exhaust themselves. Take a look at this.”

A vision enters Elena’s mind of Mia with two mature dolls who she assumes are her parents. She watches as Mia’s mom hits her then apologizing. Mia runs away from her parents in tears before running back and morphing them into the same body. Her parents count Mia’s magic with magic of their own that causes an explosion.

Once the vision clears, Elena asks, “What happened there and after that?”

“Look, I can’t explain everything here. That’s the best that her parents could give me to give other dolls like you. You’ll have to trust me especially when you get to the third floor, okay?”

“Okay. You can trust me.”

“I hope so.”

“I’ll show you that you can.”

The box that she’s trapped in falls off the large shelf and onto the ground. Elena’s strings are gone and the box she’s in is opened. Once she crawls out of the box, she looks up at the high heights that she fell off and survives without a scratch. Looking up, she can see that a least a hundred dolls are trapped on the shelves in a disillusion.

“Is this supposed to be convincing? Well, at least they aren’t being hurt or having nightmares,” Elena says aloud.

She looks around the room for an exit and sees only two doors behind her. One leads back down while the other leads up. In the room with the staircase that goes up, Elena finds another door. Wondering what the door leads to, she opens it to see a room where Mia is playing with the other dolls.  Mia sees Elena and runs over to the door.

“Hey, Elena! You made it past the trap on the second floor!”

“I wasn’t really a trap like the ground floor. Neither was the one on the first floor.”

“There are other kinds of traps than the ones that hurt you. The traps on the first and second floors are meant to pacify you. To make you want to stay in the mansion and to trust the evil people keeping us here.”

“Oh. What about the third floor?”

“The lapdog told you that I set that trap, right? And the ground floor one too?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s funny she thinks that because I have no clue what’s on the third floor. You’d think that if I was the real villain, I would know what it is, but everyone who comes back from that floor says something different. Isn’t that right?”

Several dolls tell Elena differing tales of the kinds of things on the third floor such as a monster, a maze with all dead ends, and a freezing cold that would somehow make pieces of them fall off.

“I see.”

“Be brave, Elena, because a bad attitude will get you nowhere.”

The dolls cheer on Elena as she nervously walks up the stairs bracing herself for whatever comes next.

Birthday month entry: March 20th

Make sure that you're living your life well. Start every day with the hopes that you will do something to make your life better or do something good. A bad mindset is the first step in ruining your life. Pray to God to help with that and remember that everything is in His Hands. Always keep trying to do good and you will have no worries.

Birthday month entry: March 19

How do you know that you really love something or someone? Ask yourself how much are you willing to protect them. Someone who truly loves someone or something is willing to fight and even die for those things or people they love. That is why Jesus died for us after all.

Broken Porcelain: Chapter 2 - Distractions

Chapter 2 - Distractions

Elena walks through the halls of the second floor while watching her every step. What she saw on the ground floor startled her even though she was already startled to begin with. All the halls appear to be the same with the same kind of wood floors, doors, ceilings, and walls. After hearing and seeing what choosing the wrong door can result in, she’s hesitant to even go near one, but the seemingly looping nature of the first floor forces her to pick a door. She slowly opens it and startled to see a girl behind it.

“Haha, I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” the doll asks.

The doll is has a very elegant look to her with a long dress and her hair in a bun though she appears fidgety. One of her irises seems bigger than the other and there’s a weird grin on her face.

“Kind of,” Elena says.

“Well, there’s no reason to be afraid any longer. On this floor of the mansion, if you want something, then you’ll find it behind the next door you open. That’s how I got this wonderful dress. I’m collecting lots of gold and toys in my own personal mansion that I can get to by traveling through these doors. By the looks of it, you wanted company and an explanation on how this floor works, is that right?”

“Yes. I want to try to get to the third floor to get out of here.”

“Why would you want that when you can open a door and get everything you want? Actually, that’s not completely true. You can’t find the way out even if you want it. Every place that you see that isn’t this floor or the ground floor is a made up dimension along with the people, but that doesn’t matter. This place is Heaven. I don’t know what Mia and the others are so worked up about.”

“Yeah, but still. I want to go home.”

“If you say so, you can always join me in my mansion if you want. Just think of me and my mansion and you’ll be there.”

The girl closes the door on Elena. Elena opens the door again to see her parents.

“Elena!” her dad says.

Elena raises her hands in defense.

“What are you doing that for, sweetie? We aren’t going to hurt you.”

“Come here, Elena. You’re home,” Elena’s mom beckons.

“No, this isn’t real,” Elena says.

She then closes the door and opens it only to be hugged by her parents.

“It’s okay, Elena. We’re here for you.”

“We’ll always love you. We promised to give you a better life, didn’t we?”

“Stop!” Elena yells as she pushes them away.

Again, she closes the door then opens it to see Mia.

“Hey, Elena. Do you need anything?” Mia asks.

“Can you help me get through this floor? I keep opening the door only to see my family,” Elena asks.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that. That floor only allows people to go through it by themselves. Watch.” Mia walks into the door and into an invisible wall. “See? I can’t enter. What I can help you with is controlling what you want. Just imagine the next floor and focus on your want to escape. Don’t focus on anything else. Don’t let your other wants get in the way. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“You can do it, Elena!”

“Thank you.”

Elena closes the door and tries to do what Mia said. She opens it to find a set of stairs that go up. After breathing a sigh of relief, she goes up the stairs. As she goes up, she skips the other floors since the stairs keep going up. She keeps going up until she reaches a hatch in the ceiling that allows her to exit the mansion. Before she can think this is a trick, the other dolls that she saw from before come running out of the mansion along with Mia.

“I can’t believe you did it, Elena! You found a secret exit! I knew there was something special about you when we met.”

“I uh. I guess I did.”

Mia and the other dolls climb down the mansion’s walls by using the various holes in it as if it was a climbing wall. Elena descends to the ground and watches as the dolls run into the forest. She looks back at the mansion to see a single girl still inside. Going closer, Elena sees that the doll doesn’t have any eyes and her mouth is stuck in a creepy smile. The doll is dressed in a nurse’s outfit with a bowtie and double buns for a hairstyle.

Unsure if something is wrong with her, Elena taps on the window separating them and asks, “Are you okay?”

The doll doesn’t respond or move.

“Aren’t you going to escape? There’s an exit on the second floor.”

The face of a much larger doll comes out of the darkness next to the young doll. This face is cracked, doesn’t have eyes and has rows and rows of sharp teeth. Just looking at it, scares Elena to the point where she can’t move. With its large blade-like fingers, the large doll tries to carve words into the glass. Elena covers her ears and closes her eyes while this is happening to bare the sound of the doll scrapping the glass. When she opens her eyes, she sees that the doll has drawn a pair of eyes and what looks to be the face of a demon with horns on its head.

“What does that mean? Should I watch out for a demon?”

The large doll nods its head.

“There’s a demon in the mansion? Who are you?”

Elena goes to the front door and opens it.

“Don’t worry about the demon and just leave.”

Elena waits for the two mysteriously creepy dolls to leave but doesn’t see them coming out. When she turns her head to where they were, she sees that they’re gone. She looks inside the mansion only to be pulled in by the large hand and back into the first floor of the mansion.

“What? Was that all fake?”

Wanting immediate answers, Elena closes and opens the door she came in to see Mia with the dolls still in the mansion.

“Hm? Do you need something else, Elena? Are you hungry?”

“N-no. I was just seeing if I was still in the mansion.”

“Ah, I see. It was messing with you. Let me guess. You thought you found a secret exit?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just adjust your wants slightly and you’ll make the stairs to the next floor appear.”

“Hey, um…”

“Yes?”

“Do you know about an eyeless doll with a creepy smile on her face and a larger cracked doll? I saw one and the bigger one told me to watch out for a demon.”

“A demon, huh? Hahaha! Don’t listen to them. That was the adult and its little lapdog that you saw.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. If they’re communicating with you personally, then that means that they have their eyes on you probably because you’re the newest doll here. Maybe they think they can convince you to join them. Just ignore them and keep moving. Remember that they’re the reason why we’re stuck here.”

“Okay.”

“See you later.”

Elena closes the door and takes a breath before opening it again. This time she finds another set of stairs. She goes up the stairs to find herself on another floor with a singular door. Through this door is a room with puppets. Elena hopes that this is really the next floor as she walks further into the room. As she takes a couple steps into the room, tiny little threads come from above and pierce her arms, legs, then head to knock her out.

Scheduling out your day

I recommend having a schedule of doing things in these days where most are out of work. My schedule is;
8am - wake up, eat breakfast, morning prayer
9am - after breakfast play or write
10:30-11:30am - noon prayers, rosary, seven sorrows devotion
12pm - lunch, do writing
2pm - go to adoration
Up until dinner - continue writing or playing
Nighttime (6pm-12pm) - Mainly writing then nighttime prayers
This is what I have for now and you don't need to do what I'm doing. This is just a general plan that I have for the current days.

I wish I could just keep writing especially with how many books that keep popping up in my head, but I haven't taken a proper break from writing in a while, so I can't write 50 page stories per week like I used to.

Birthday month entry: March 18th

Always know your basics. If your basic knowledge is compromised, you'll be stumbling through life without knowing why. Know what makes something true and untrue and why it matters. Know the difference between selfishness and love. Know why you should care about yourself and others. Know what role you have in life and what kind of job you're supposed to have. Know whether you're supposed to be part of the laity or clergy. Finally, know why you should always put God first and let everything else follow.

Birthday month entry: March 17th

Horror is the perfect genre, in my opinion. It has the ability to show the ugliness of sin against the beauty of love within all of its stories. It can also show a person's true nature when push comes to shove. Psychological horror, thrillers, dark fantasy, and dark romance are my favorite forms that it takes. If you don't like horror, then you should check out my works or some of my favorite of horror such as; Silent Hill, Friday the 13th, Resident Evil, As Above So Below, and Dead Space.

Broken Porcelain: Chapter 1 - Dolls Just like Me

Chapter 1 – Dolls Just like Me

Parents are supposed to take care of their children and the ones that don’t are considered some of the worst people in the world. Elena was raised by an abusive family before a fire destroyed her home. She was then adopted by a better family who treats her better. On one day, she did something that she wasn’t supposed to and was about to be scolded by her family. Fearing being hit or yelled out again, she runs away from home and into the woods. In the woods, she finds what appears to be an empty mansion that she goes into. The door behind her closes. She tries to open it but is unable to. When she turns around, she sees young dolls like her that come out of the darkness, though these dolls have cracks in their shells.

“Who-who are you?” Elena asks.

A single girl walks out from the crowd with a maid outfit and a headwrap that makes it look like she has cat ears.

“My name is Mia and you look like you’re one of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you have a mom and dad who hate you?”

“Not exactly. I mean I did, but my new family is nicer.”

“That can’t be true if you ran away from them.”

“Um. I don’t know about that.”

“Then why did you run away?”

“Because I didn’t want to be hurt or scolded at again, even though I think I may have deserved it. Is there a way out of here?”

“There is, but an adult is preventing us from leaving. The first floor is the only safe place with many of us trying day in and day out to get to the third floor to get the adult and its lapdog to break the spell on this place. You can help if you want. It is dangerous because of all the traps that were set for us.”

“Um. I don’t think I can do it. I’m not a very brave person.”

The crowd of young dolls disperses as they go back to what they were doing.

“That’s fine. You can make yourself home with us. We’re all friends here so there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

Elena is hesitant to do anything as she looks around then outside the windows hoping that someone will open the door from the outside. Mia approaches her and holds out her hand.

“Come on. I’ll show you around. What’s your name?”

“Elena.”

“Well, Elena. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Um. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“You can take my hand. Haha, I won’t bite.”

Feeling a little pressured and uncertain of what to do, Elena takes Mia’s hand. Mia smiles a comforting smile to Elena, and she returns the smile while feeling a bit uneasy about the slight coldness in Mia’s hand. Mia leads Elena to a dining hall with plates of food and cups of drinks floating in the air. The flying tableware flies from the kitchen back to it when the food and drinks are finished as a continuous supply of food is put on a long table for all the dolls to enjoy.

Amazed by what she’s seeing, Elena says, “Wow! There’s so much food flying around!”

“We were able to steal some of the magic from the adult to make this happen. Pretty neat, ain’t it? It’s an infinite supply of food. We desperately need it because of how long we’ve been stuck here and because we don’t know how much longer we’re going to stay.”

“Hm.”

“Do you want to eat anything?”

“I’m okay.”

Mia then leads Elena to a large outdoor area where the dolls are playing with stuffed animals and toys that have come to life to play with them. With Elena’s hand still in hers, Mia takes her to play with the animals.

“Woah, hey!”

“Come on, this is going to be fun!”

The two fly through the air and through an obstacle course before landing on the ground.

“I bet you’ve never done anything like that before. Wasn’t that fun?”

“Yeah, it was.”

“Unfortunately, we can’t fly out of here, use the toys to help us with the toys, or bust out of here with the toys. I wish I could say everything is fun and games down here, but…I’ll just have to show you.”

Mia takes Elena to the bedrooms that double as the medical room.

“The dolls who try to make it through the traps and fail end up here. You can see the terrible things that might happen to you here. I’m sorry if this scares you. It’s a good thing us dolls don’t die unless each piece of us shatters, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

“So, this is it. Most of us just stay down here and wait for someone to beat all the traps and set us free.”

“I’ll help.”

“Really? You will? I thought a sight like this would’ve made you too scared to.”

“It’s better than doing nothing. Besides, I can’t stand to look at people in pain and do nothing. It’s part of the reason why I got in trouble.”

“Then you didn’t do anything wrong and your parents were going to scold you for no good reason.”

“I guess.”

“I’ll lead you to the first floor since this floor has traps too.”

“It does?”

“Not in our safe area, but the area that leads to the stairs has traps. We’ve pretty much figured out everything about it, so we know how to safely get passed them. The traps on the other floors are more difficult and unpredictable though.”

“Oh.”

“You won’t be on your own though. There should be other people on the other floors that will help you.”

“Okay. Can you let go of my hand now?”

“For now, I can, but I’ll need to hold onto your hand for the next room.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.”

Mia leads Elena to a hallway with many doors and a floor with different colors and symbols on the tiles.

“Do you see how the tiles on the floor have different colors and symbols?” Mia asks.

“Yes,” Elena answers.

“It may look confusing, but it’s simple. Can you guess what we have to do?”

“Uh. Ummm. Does it have something to do with the puzzle games in the playing room?”

“That’s what we thought, but it doesn’t. It was a red herring Instead, this about going through this trap together. We figured that out two of us went through the trap together while holding each other’s hands. They walked all on all the tiles and nothing happened to them while something happened to the dolls that walked by themselves. That’s why I need to hold your hand. You can’t do it alone.”

“What happens to you if-”

“Oh, it looks like someone tried going through here on their own. I’ll take this foot back to them after I get you to the first floor. Did you say something?”

“N-no.”

“Oh. Is that a head over there?”

Mia and Elena go to the head.

As Mia picks it up, she identifies it. “This is a friend of mine who’s a little rash. Let’s see if her body is around here.”

Mia and Elena walk around the room and put together the doll.

When she’s together, Mia says, “I told you not to do this trap by yourself. You know you can’t pass it without someone.”

“Whatever. I knew someone would eventually find me and put me back together.”

“Don’t be so reckless.”

“I don’t take advice from you. You’re not my parents!”

“Wait, don’t open that door!”

The doll opens the door and walks into an abyss of darkness. A loud shattering sound is heard before the door closes.

“Whelp. It’s going to take some work to put her back together or maybe it’d be better if we left her that way until we get out because of how much trouble she causes,” Mia says.

“Um.”

“Oh, that’s right. There’s only one right door. The wrong doors lead to different horrors like; the door eating you, monsters, and-”

“Can we just go?”

“Okay.”

Mia finally leads Elena to a door that opens up to reveal a spiraling staircase that goes up to the next floor.

“Here we go. This is where we part ways for now. I’ll catch up to you later,” Mia says.

“Wait, won’t something happen to you on the way back?” Elena says.

“Nope. If you go through the traps on a floor, then you can safely go through them on the same day. It’s a weird rule, I know. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Mustering whatever bravery she can manage, Elena ascends the stairs ready to face whatever horrors and traps the house may have to escape.