Sunday, February 26, 2017

Sample of: Murder and other things you shouldn't do in public Prologue + Chapters 1 & 2

 Welcome to my world
            How to start my story how to start my story… It sucks. Well at least for me it sucks. My name is Kane and life really does suck. I’m thirty-five years old and I work as one of the stock guys for a department store. The job pays fine and I do talk to people there and hang out with them outside of work, but that’s all. We aren’t close or anything. I don’t talk to my parents and family and I’m pretty sure they don’t mind. I wasted their money on a college education because I didn’t know what I was doing and because I’m an idiot.
            So hoping off of that uplifting intro paragraph I think you have a pretty good idea who I am. My psychiatrist said I should keep a diary so I can figure out what works in my life and what doesn’t, but I can’t afford to see her anymore so fuck writing a diary I’ll just keep it all in my head. Besides I’m not even a good writer and speaking about writers, fuck ‘em. How the hell do these people write these hundred plus page books based on normal life drama, it’s so boring! And what’s with all the wordy descriptions and shit? ‘As the sun was washed away by the night sky, his silky hands touched my skin, which made his intentions obvious to the naked eye. We embraced and I felt a wondrous sensation that cannot be put into words.’ Damn it just say it! He touched my pussy, we fucked, and I came first, what the fuck is so bad about making things simpler to understand? But I guess I’m just too much of an idiot to get it right? Whatever let’s just start this shit. My life or as I like to call it my hell.

            Have you ever wanted to be famous? Feel like you want to be wanted? Of course you have. Everyone including people who just want to be left alone have felt this. Next question; what would you do to obtain it? Be nice to people? Sing a song? Write a book? Maybe you sent naked pictures of yourself to someone or have you done regrettable things that you cannot take back? I don’t know if you did since I don’t know you. I’m just talking to myself here. Anyways murder is the only way to get the attention I need. I already said that I can’t write stories let alone songs so that’s out of the question. My personality isn’t much to write home about and I’m nothing someone would really masturbate to so murder is all I have. Besides tons of people have become famous by killing people and I’m not talking about serial killers. Soldiers, police officers, and everyday people are hailed as heroes when they kill horrible people so why wouldn’t they do the same for me? But the real question is, how am I going to kill someone? Maybe I’ll go to the ghetto while listening to the news and wait for something to happen. Yeah…that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll stalk the streets and strike my prey like a praying mantis, which is my favorite insect. I actually really like bugs and…I guess there goes a reason why people think I’m weird.
            I go out on one of my days off and walk around during the evening. Some kind of crime is always being committed in this city so something is bound to happen. There was even this one mysterious murderer who had their victims beaten beyond recognition. They never caught the guy or girl or even the weapon that was used, but they think it might’ve been a metal baseball bat. All I have is a pocketknife, which I use at work if I don’t have a box cutter, and nothing to lose, but my life.
            Hours pass by until I finally hear about a crime happening around this area. Apparently someone tried to assassinate an officer, but nearby officers discovered the guy and stopped it. The hitman got away, but the police injured him so he couldn’t have gotten too far away. I have to get to him before the police do so I search around the area they are while keeping out of their way. Eventually my search leads me to a building construction site, which looks like the perfect place to hide with the way it looks. Upon investigating it, I find the hitman they the news described on the second floor tending to his wounds. He isn’t facing my direction and doesn’t seem to notice me so this is the perfect scenario for me to kill him. All I have to do is sneak up on him and not attract his attention. My pocketknife might make things messy so I instead grab a nearby pair of gloves to wear so I don’t get my fingerprints on the sledgehammer that is sitting by it. I then slowly approach him with my weapon ready. Yeah, that’s right man. Just keep pulling those bullets out of you and keep trying to fix yourself up cause you’re going to be feeling a lot better soon. I’m right behind him now and he still hasn’t noticed me so…it’s now or never. I close my eyes as I swing the sledgehammer at the man’s head and hear the squishing sound of the impact. As I open my eyes, I see exactly what I’ve done and what I’ve done…is awesome! The guy’s head exploded all over the place like a watermelon. I’m lucky none of it’s on me and even luckier that my plan is working this well so far. Now how to get people to know that this is my doing…I know! I draw a praying mantis on the floor and my initials with the guy’s blood. What a job well done and since no one’s here, I’ll look through this guy’s pockets to see what a killer carries with them. Hmmm an empty silenced pistol, car key, house key, and oh a wallet two hundred fifty dollars in it! I’ll keep that and…what’s this? There are pictures here of a man with his wife, daughter, and dog. These can’t be his can it? I didn’t get a look at the guy’s face, but his skin color is the same as the pictured man. I look through his pockets again to try to find evidence that this man isn’t a family man. Aha!
            A letter that says, ‘Hello, I think it is time that you paid back your debt to us. This package contains a loaded silenced pistol that you will use to eliminate a certain police officer. We’ve included his picture and his weekly habits in this package to help you out. We expect to see him dead on the news within seven days. You know that we hate corrupted police officers and you know that we hate people who break their promises even more. Your loved ones are at risk here so do the right thing or else they will disappear. We wish you the best of luck.’
            Oh fuck! Oh shit! This guy is just some normal guy forced to kill someone! Oh shit oh shit oh shit what the fuck am I – crap the police are here! I drop the sledgehammer and the man’s belongings and sneak away as the police arrive at the construction site. When I get home I check the news and wait for them to talk about the man I killed.
            When they do talk about him they say that he, “tried to kill a high ranking police officer and was killed by an unknown vigilante that left their weapon and their calling card at the scene. Whoever this person is, the police force and all of us here thank you for taking a killer off the street.”
            Well fuck your thank you! You didn’t even mention the letter the guy had! Did you even see it? Fucking dumbasses!
            On the next day at work, the people I know question whether or not I was the vigilante that was mentioned on the news. I tell them I am thinking this will get my mind off the man’s true motivations, but it really doesn’t. They treat me to a celebration at a pub and at the pub I see two familiar faces crying over the loss of their husband/father. Fuck my life.

            At the restaurant where my little “kill” party was at, I got this waitress’s phone number. She sat with us as I described what happened that night and told everyone to keep this a secret. For some reason though, I didn’t tell them about the man’s secret. I guess I was thinking that they’ll hate me.
Anyways that’s not the most important thing anymore. I got a cute girl’s number! She looks like she’s eighteen so she’s way younger than me, but that’s fine with me. I’ve heard of people that like girls way younger. Hell I’ve seen the porn that they masturbate to. Speaking about that, I’ve pretty much seen every single type of porn. You want to know about it? Of course you do, you’re my imagination that I talk to when I’m lonely. There’s the normal kind that most people know of ranging from erotica and normal sex positions to people’s certain sexual fetishes that contain whips, chains, and candles or sex machines for some reason. Then there’s animation containing what I mentioned plus (and I’m not kidding) bestiality, lolicon, scat, vore, inflation, birthing, mind breaking/enslavement, guro, furries, rape, and of course tentacles. Now here is the worst/weirdest of all of it that’s exclusively found on the deep web. Real life child pornography and people who are shown on live videos while being tortured to death. There’s also real life bestiality and scat, but those you could probably find on the surface web (what we see). So you must be wondering why I know all of this and the answer is that I was curious as to how perverted and sick people can be and I got more than I thought I would. Also to be clear that even though I know about the deep web, I haven’t actually been on it. You can easily get hacked on it and it’s said that people will find you and kidnap you and put you into what I just mentioned. Fuck that.
Now what was I talking about…oh yeah! So because I got this girl’s number, I’m going to try to become her boyfriend even though I’m older than her. I call her and we make plans to go out one day. I see her after work and we walk to the shopping mall. Along the way, I talk to her to try to leave a real impression.
“So you never told me what your name is.”
“Oh, I didn’t? It’s Grace.”
“Grace? That’s a pretty name.”
“Hehe, thank you.”
Ok good progress so far.
“So Grace what do you do besides work as a waitress?”
“I go to school and I love watching cartoons and anime.”
“Yeah! And I’m going to make my own after I’m done school.”
“That sounds crazy. I can’t even imagine doing something like that myself.”
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Uh ok.”
That was weird.
We arrive at the mall and once we get there, Grace buys a bunch a cute stuff like plushies, shirts, and stuff like that. I admit I do buy a few of these things for myself because I’m a fan of what it’s based on which makes Grace laugh for some reason. When I ask her what she wants to eat, she says she wants ice cream, which…isn’t a bad idea. I can dig it, but what I can’t dig is this city. At the food court, someone randomly approaches another and starts beating them up. The other person tries to fight back, but can’t manage to. Grace looks at me, expecting for me to do something…fucking hell. I get up and run towards the attacker, grab him, toss them away, and knock them out in two punches. For some reason, I wasn’t afraid of doing this. Maybe it’s because of what happened the other day or it’s because I’m more afraid of what Grace would say if I messed up. I walk back to Grace who has a big smile on her face.
She hugs me then says, “You’re so amazing Kane!”
“I uh,” I awkwardly hug back, “No problem. Now let’s get out of here. People are awkwardly looking at us.”
“Ahahaha ok.”
People say stuff about as we walk away like; “Aww look at him and his daughter!” “Now that’s how you father your child, lead by example!” and stuff like that. I walk her home and she actually gives me a kiss on the cheek before we say goodbye. Yes! I got more progress than I thought I would. After a couple days, I ask her out again and I wait outside the pub, which is our meeting place. I get there early so I decide to wait outside for her. One of the waitresses walks outside to smoke and she notices me.
“You’re Kane right?”
“I am. Did Grace tell you about me?”
“Yeah. You know you’re an inspiration to her right?”
Someone like me is an inspiration?
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”
“Well you are. She views you as her big brother.”
“Big brother huh?”
“Yep. Did you also know that she’s fifteen years old?”
Fifteen years old?!
“Really? How did she get this job?”
“I pulled a few strings and after I told them her situation, they accepted her.”
“What’s her story?”
“I adopted her off the streets after she ran away from home. Her parents apparently abused her a lot and all she could think to do was run away. I found her one night on the streets and I couldn’t say no to her so I brought her in. I convinced her to go to high school and she took this job to help me out since I’m living by myself. I didn’t ask her to help, but she felt like it was the right thing to do and I couldn’t say no to her yet again.”
“She looks up to you because you fought against a killer and a bully, something she couldn’t do. Don’t let her down.”
“I won’t. I promise you that.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
More like a huge problem! How the hell am I going to date a fifteen-year-old girl with a terrible past? Whatever I’ll work this out somehow. Grace is coming this way…who the hell is that kid with her? He looks about her age – Oh shit! They just kissed each other, which means…she already has a boyfriend. They part ways then she approaches me with a smile on her face.
“Hello!” she happily says.
“Hey, was that your boyfriend?”
Her voice cuts out when I hear that. Fucking shit. I kill an innocent man just to come out with no real reward.
“-why? Are you jealous?”
“Yeah, I would definitely date you if you were single!”
Fuck my life.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Series or single games, seasons, or movies (maybe a couple other things) in as little words as possible

*Will be updated over time

Bloodborne - H.P. Soulscraft
Watamote - Try not to kill yourself
Dark souls - Berserk without seeing the speech bubbles and being put somewhere in the middle of the story
Fifty shades of grey - Twlight fanfic
Final fantasy - Infinite sci-fi fantasy
Choice and consequence (yes I'll be using my own too) - Silent hill
Sword art online - Harem Online
Silent hill - The devil in I
Resident evil - Conspiracies and Biohazards
Metal gear solid - Not really action, not really stealth. Not really serious, not really parody.
Thief - Thief
Saints row - GTA but better
Grand Theft Auto - South park
Trapped body and soul in a video game - Souls art online
Dynasty warriors - crowd control simulator
Five nights at Freddy's - Nightmare Chuck e Cheese
Devil may cry - Style, Sass, Sensational
Fatal frame - Ghost photography
Friday the 13th - Jason kills then gets killed though not really
Twisted metal - Destruction, plot twists, and a clown with his head on fire
Walking dead - people suck more than zombies
Danganronpa - having friends suck or (for fans) Junko Enoshima fooled you (again [that bitch])
Corpse party - bloody and gory school
Dance in the vampire bund - 2000s vampire story with loli
Mighty no. 9 - Not a good Mega man game
Accel world - SAO part 2
Duke nukem 3D - badass simulator
Doom - an exorcist's wet dream
Skillet, Demon Hunter, For Today, Red, Ashes Remain (Christian rock/metal bands) - Christianity for non-Christians
Far cry - Rambo
Far cry blood dragon - Rambo (played by Michael Biehn) in 80s cyber future
Future diary (Mirai Nikki) - Yandere and literal plot holes
The Suffering - Silent hill in prison
SJWs, BLM, Feminism - Literal cancer
Mega man - 2D Astro boy
Hitman - killer with OCD
Burnout - Destruction derby in a race
The Darkness (game) - FPS with demons as your 3rd and 4th weapon

The Author's and Reader's Interpretation of Works

*I was writing this for college and thought it would be interesting to share with you.

            When an author writes his or her work in a certain way, they intend it to have a particular meaning and message, however, there are people who will take that meaning in a different direction or not see the original intention at all. This will happen with some works and the reason for the misunderstanding could be on the author’s part with the work not being clear enough, the work being too ambiguous, or the readers are at fault in some scenarios. They could be thinking about something else while reading the work or they could’ve missed certain plot details that were obvious to other readers. It true that the author’s work should be criticized by its readers, but it is also true that the author should have his or her own say as to what the story was originally written for and its purpose.
            Speaking as a fellow author, I think that the author should be able to say what their work is about then the readers will be allowed to criticize and give their own interpretation as without the author, the work wouldn’t exist. The work of an author or writer of any medium shouldn’t have their work completely taken over by others because they don’t agree with what their work means and says. That’s like saying a car maker doesn’t make the right kind of car because a customer is somewhat more knowledgeable on it. Now this can be true in certain scenarios like where the reader is also an author or the readers are more educated in storytelling than the author, but there are few scenarios where the readers are better at interpreting the work of the author than the author themselves. To conclude this point, the author has to have a say in what their work means, otherwise there is no point in writing if you’re going to let everyone play with it to the point where the author’s work will mean everything but nothing at all.
            On the other hand, the readers should have their say in the author’s work. An author can say that their work is great and without fault if they are not criticized by others. Readers and their interpretations of the author’s work can bring attention to it that it might not otherwise get if the author’s work only had one bland interpretation. The audience can give self-published authors attention so their indie work can make it into the mainstream and give other indie publishers hope. There is, however, the scenario where they give attention to a work and make it overrated like Fifty Shades of Grey. Whatever scenario, the readers and their interpretation is one of the most important parts of any medium which require an audience as writers and makers need an audience to continue to exist.
            Going back to the author’s point of view, one of an author’s greatest fears, is that their interpretation, stories, and works will get torn to shreds by the masses and their original intention will be lost forever. This is the terrifying strength of the audience as the people can overpower one author will pure numbers. The only hope the author has is an audience of their own whether it’d be fellow authors or a dedicated audience. Power of interpretation varies between different stories, authors, and audiences so whether or not the audience knows better or if the author knows better is as different as the stories authors tell with varying genres and morals being told.
            This whole argument of the author’s interpretation of their own work and the readers say in it says a whole lot about the potential for all people to be storytellers. They see a story in a certain light and communicate it to others in that way. Some think they’ve discovered a hidden meaning in a story that the author themselves couldn’t see and other think they’ve found their own story in another’s which inspires them to write stories of their own. People like telling stories and making up their own. It gives them a sense of power and creation that their normal lives, if they aren’t creators, can’t give them. This is why so many people become storytellers, video game designers, and movie makers. A lot of people start writing this way with some even becoming press reviewers or consumer reviews that can be found on YouTube and other review sites.
            Combining the author’s interpretation argument and what was just previously mentioned, there are hundred, thousands, maybe even millions of stories that are inspired by others. There are stories that take other parts of stories to make their own version of a story that the author would like to be told. I myself am guilty of this as I take tons and tons of plot themes and mechanics from other series and change them up without many completely original ideas and few authors can make a career on completely original work. Making up work from the ground up with nothing to work with is almost impossible so people will use their experiences and interpretations of other stories by different people to build their own story. People will take different story elements from varying genres, mediums of entertainment, and life experiences to make unique and interesting stories that could even be called original since some great combinations have the comparable combination of cake and ketchup. This may seem bad but in execution, a creator of any work can make a bad idea into a great work of entertainment and intellectual debate that people can get behind.

            All in all, authors should be able to do what they want to with their story with readers to both criticize and support the author who will in some cases become writers themselves. The work of the author belongs to the author and the interpretation of their work belongs to the reader. Both work together to create experiences from works of the author to hopefully make something worthwhile and timeless that satisfies both sides

Friday, February 17, 2017

My thoughts and questions about atheism

This is just some thoughts I have about atheism. Now I'm not saying that it's bad be an atheist, I'm just talking about and questioning different things that are on the top of my head.

  • If you don't believe that a God is the source for morals then what is? Human intelligence? Ok so they're made up and good and evil don't really exist so anything can be good or evil. 
  • What value do us humans really have if it isn't supported by some evidence that we are in fact valuable? In the Christian religion, all creation has value and humans are God's most valued creation but if there is no being to enforce our value then what value do we have? Because we want to feel valued even though value is just made up in this seemingly atheist context? 
  • Why do we always graviate towards "good"? Because we're taught that way? Because it's some evolutionary trait that we somehow have preinstalled through our ancestors?
  • We try to understand the universe and it's many gears that keep it turning. Does that mean that it has a design to it? Did something create it like this?  It's not luck since luck doesn't really exist when you know all the factors that effects a situation like a coin flip or gambling. There's always a point in time whether it'd be minute or even half a second where the result is going to be 100% a certain outcome.
  • What gravitates people towards atheism? Is it because they've thought it was the most logical? Is it because they don't agree with religious beliefs? I've seen people believe it because they don't like having moral constraints, because they don't put a lot of thought into what religious people actually believe.
Yeah I know I'm probably not the first to ask these questions but I feel like I should get this out there to see if people will answer them. Thank you so much if you do. Maybe we'll even have a little talk in the comments about this.

Thursday, February 16, 2017


I've finished the extras in Trapped Body and Soul in a Video Game so all I need to do is draw like 7 page length pictures for it in light novel fashion. They won't look the best but hey what are you going to do when you're a self published author like me. I've also started this story called Scraping By which is inspired by Berserk and the parable of Job where a man loses everything and still has faith in God.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Working and working

Besides college making me busy, I'm also working on my next book Society's Monsters which will probably be released in April with the short stories Dreamless and They Don't Know as extras. You can find these books a ebooks on Smashwords and other places like Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and Amazon (They Don't Know was just published so it'll take some time to be in most ebook stores). I've also been working on extras for the published version of Trapped Body and Soul in a Video Game which details the mechanics of the actual game and inspirations for the story. Don't forget that you can still have your name in the book if you can offer helpful comments on the page where you can read it for free.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Stupid mistakes

So while I was putting in extras for the published version of Trapped Body and Soul in a Video Game, I found some mistakes in it and decided to fix some of them for the blog version. The stupidest one was every instance of the word with irl in it makes it IRL.  It's because I thought I made the mistake of making the acronym IRL (in real life) as just irl so I used the find and replace function to replace it. What I didn't know is that it changed words like girl and fairly to gIRL and faIRLy like what the hell? Sorry for the mistake.

The full version of Trapped Body and Soul in a Video Game is out and free!

Read it here on its own page for free! Don't forget to leave useful feedback if you want to be mentioned in the actual published version of the story.