Chapter 1 – Forced Love
How are we ever going to fix this?
Maybe we should start from the beginning?
Maybe you should since you suggested it.
Okay. We woke up one morning in my room fused together. We were confused for a while before we heard a voice say, “Because you have hated each other and have secretly wanted harm upon one another, you will be fused together until you learn to love each other”. And here we are.
That’s overly simple, James. What about the fact that part of my house is fused to yours? My clothes are even fused to yours. Just look at our wardrobe. Everything is fused together.
Don’t worry about it, Julia. At least it all matches.
But we’ll have to go to the bathroom and take a shower together! We’ll see each other naked!
That’s definitely the worst part.
Ow!
Ha! When you use our hand to hit me you still hurt yourself.
Ow!
Doing it again doesn’t help and I know that you feel that it does. I’m still somewhat surprised that the doctors said that our bodies are completely fine together like this.
Sure, but we have to walk together with a hood on all the time with our heads down.
Speaking about that, do you want me to control our legs when we walk because we have trouble doing anything unless we consent to let one person walk?
I don’t care. We both get tired even when we let the other do something.
I’ll do the walking then.
I’ll do the talking.
You’ll do the talking? No.
Why not?
Because you’re terrible at talking with people.
No, I’m not!
Yes, you are. Who has more friends than you do? Who got a promotion because I was a pseudo-human resources expert? That’s right. I know the thought crossed your mind.
Shut up. What am I going to do then? Just silently scream in our mind?
Oh God no. I’ll let you talk if you know more about something than I do.
But we both know the same things now.
Are you really going to pass up this opportunity to talk?
You can stop me from talking at any time.
And so can you so you’re going to have to trust me. Okay? Come on. We can’t do anything unless we can trust each other.
Fine.
Good. So how about we get ready for work now? We didn’t take a shower yesterday, so let’s-okay. You know for a fact that I don’t want to see you naked. Okay! Now you have a self-abuse problem. So, do you want to strip us or-
I’ll do it. Just close your eye.
I can still see out of your eye.
I’ll just look up then. Hey, make the water hotter.
It is hot.
No, make it hotter like this.
It’s too hot!
I don’t feel it.
I do!
Good.
Who’s going to be the one who’s going to wash us?
I’ll do it.
I didn’t know you wanted to touch me like that.
It’s not that! I’d rather you not touch me is all.
It’s still our body.
Whatever.
What kind of genitalia do we have?
It’s not mine and it’s not yours. I don’t want to think about it. Just stop thinking about it.
Okay. That’s finally done. I think we should wear this simple outfit.
Nope, we’re wearing this.
Who cares what we look like?
I do! I’m a woman of business unlike you.
Do women of business look like us? That’s what I thought. What’s for breakfast?
Cereal.
I’m fine with that. Except not that kind.
What’s wrong with it?
It’s just plain healthy cereal.
What are you four years old? Why does your cereal have to have marshmallows in it?
Because it actually tastes appetizing.
It doesn’t taste bad to me.
It does to me.
It’s just your imagination.
Whatever. Okay, you bathed, clothed, and feed us which is basically what a normal woman is supposed to do. Don’t hit me-us. Let me take over for walking.
I still don’t feel comfortable going out at all.
But we got to earn that bread for ourselves. It’s not too bad.
I feel so awkward being out here like this. This is going to be a pain if this carries over into the summertime.
Ever hear of short-sleeved hoodies?
I still don’t want this to go on for long.
And I thought you were starting to like my company. We have to do this regardless of how comfortable we are with it, so we have to start loving each other.
I’m not going to marry you.
You don’t have to. Love isn’t all about marrying.
I hope that’s not what God wants.
Me too. See? We’re starting to agree with one another.
But what are we going to do now at work?
Whatever we usually do. I think we should-
No, we can’t talk to anyone like this. Only our boss knows about this.
He would’ve already told most of the people here by now knowing him.
What an idiot. We already have people looking at us.
Don’t mind them.
“Hey, James! Or should I say, Julia? Or both?”
“Hey, Nick!”
Are you still mad at that the boss is paying me more than you?
I went to college and work harder than you do. Of course I’m still mad.
I didn’t need that stupid college “education” to be successful in life. All I needed was my family, friends, and my God-given talents. Don’t be mad because I got past where you are with more effort.
I’m going to beat you to a pulp when we’re separated.
You would still be hating me then.
I’m going to lovingly beat you to a pulp. Sound better?
Yep. This is where we decide which of our jobs are going to get done.
Okay.
Ow!
What did we do?
We fell on our butt because we took control of a different leg to go in a different direction. Let’s just decide what we’re going to do first.
I’ve got tons of work to do to help dozens of people within the business and outside of it. At least I try to help others outside my sphere of friends, unlike some people.
Well, you can’t do that if your building burns to ashes. Most things in the building are working fine but I have been seeing abnormalities in it. I should probably check it out before it gets serious.
What? I’m not going to get dirty while wearing this.
You knew we were going to. Don’t lie.
Can’t we just get my work done first?
Let me just check out the systems in the building. Maybe we won’t need to get dirty today.
I always see you dirty.
Yeah? Well you’re always jealous of me, and I’m not making that up, so let’s go.
Fine.
Okay, well everything seems to be better than yesterday. It looks like shutting off some of the systems fixed some of the issues, but there’s still one thing we have to get dirty for to check out.
What? Why?
Because it could cause a major fire if we don’t at least check on it. I adjust and upgrade these things from time to time so that you can “help” people like you say you do.
Let’s just get this over with.
It’s not that bad up there.
To you maybe. It’s filthy up here.
I’m glad you think so.
Why don’t you clean up here? Isn’t that a hazard or something?
Not if it doesn’t affect anything. I’ve been in worse places, so this is nothing to me.
I can’t stand being in here.
Just keep your mind off it then. There are only a couple more things I need to check.
Was that a roach?!
Yeah, I named him Bob.
Why don’t we call an exterminator?
Because buildings like these always have bugs in them. They come and go and if they feel comfortable, they stay.
But shouldn’t we get rid of them?
This is your first time noticing them, so they’re not a problem to you. They’ll be gone soon.
That’s a relief.
Okay. It looks like there isn’t anything wrong here.
So we came up here for nothing?
We came up here to check on something that could’ve been important. I’ve been doing this for months and you haven’t had any problems, which is another reason for my promotion.
Okay, let’s just get out of here. I think I’m going to get sick.
That’s just your imagination.
No, it isn’t. I feel like I need to take two baths after doing that, but I have to get my work done.
This is going to be so boring.
It’s not that bad. It’s just how work is.
My work isn’t like that.
Your work is disgusting and dirty.
But at least it doesn’t put me to sleep. This sucks so much.
Shut up. I’m trying to concentrate here.
Did you notice that the others aren’t saying anything?
The boss told us that he told them not to say anything or he’ll fire them.
It’s probably why we’re not on the news right now.
Do you ever shut up?
No, that’s why so many people like me. I’m also trying to keep us awake.
I don’t need your help.
Fine then. Nap time then.
Wait…stop…Ah!
Told you this work is boring.
Just try to stay awake a little longer. I’m almost done.
How come you never liked talking to me when we first met?
Because I wanted to concentrate on my work.
And that’s why you don’t have friends. How can you say you want to help people when you don’t even want to talk to them?
How can you say you love making friends when you don’t care about helping other people?
Hey, at least I do help people. At least I don’t just think I’m helping people because people tell me I am when I’m just sitting behind a desk while being miserable. Hey! Control yourself! People are really watching now. I’m sorry, okay? I can be a bit too blunt. I get that. You help out people in your own way and I do it in my own way.
…
Look, that paper you made is probably going to convince the company to help out people in need. Do you know how many lives you’re going to save?
Stop wiping away my tears! I can do it myself!
Okay.
…I’m sorry for that outburst.
It’s fine. I get it.
“Hey, uh…Julia? The boss wants to see you.”
“Okay.”
This is my fault.
I started it. Don’t worry about it.
He might fire us.
I don’t think he’ll do that. He probably just wants to talk to us.
“Hello, James and Julia.”
“Hello, Lloyd.”
“Who am I talking to specifically?”
You’re better at talking.
“James.”
“I can hear it now. Did you know that your voice changes when one of you is in control?”
“I didn’t notice that actually. Thanks for pointing that out. What did you want to talk about?”
“I’m letting you two or one have a little break from work to get used to being together like this.”
“Was it something-”
“No, it wasn’t anything you did. Besides, I know you don’t get aggravated, James.”
I messed up bad.
“It’s not Julia’s fault she got angry. I said some things to her that I shouldn't have.”
No, you’re right. Don’t even think about using this against me.
“It’s not that she lost control. I just want you two to get better acquainted with the way you are now. You’ll be paid during your time off as well so don’t worry about that.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just try to get adjusted soon so I can have my two best workers back.”
“You got it.”
See? That wasn’t so bad.
That’s because you were talking.
I didn’t say anything that you wouldn’t’ve.
I wouldn’t have defended you.
That’s true but I’m glad you’re honest.
Let’s just go home. I’m beat.
That wasn’t such a bad day of work. I thought it was pretty interesting.
It was okay.
At least we learned to be caring towards one another.
I wonder how long that will last.
Come on, be more positive.
Sure.
More positive!
Very sure. I’ll take that. So, what do you do after work?
Shower, eat, then sleep. At least it isn’t as awkward taking a shower now.
Uh, you’re making me look-there we go.
Sorry. It’s a habit.
It’s fine. I don’t mind too much. Don’t hit me.
I wasn’t thinking about it for some reason.
See? We’re getting comfortable with each other now.
A little too comfortable.
What do we have here to eat? Uh, oh! I still have leftover pizza here. I’ve been craving it.
I’ll make us something. Hey, stop making me crave pizza!
It’s pepperoni and sausage.
That does sound really good. Wait, no it doesn’t. Stop making me want it. I don’t even like eating pizza.
You what?! You’re going to Hell.
For what?
Not liking pizza. It is one of the many foods God inspired humanity to make. Let me fill your mind with thoughts and sensations of the blessed food.
You already take up too much of my mind, but it does sound appetizing. Okay, I’ll try it.
So? How does it taste?
I’m not sure if you’re making me taste it this way or not.
I’m not doing anything.
Then it tastes great even though it’s just heated up again.
See? I told you.
Okay. Fine. You were right. Now it’s time to get some sleep.
Today wasn’t so bad, right? I don’t mind being with you like this as much now.
I can’t say the same.
I know you’re lying.
Don’t think I actually like you now.
Well, at least we’re off to a good start.
I guess so.
I’m glad that you agree. Good night.
Good night.
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