Saturday, May 18, 2024

Last Penance: Chapter 3 – A Scum’s Cleansing

Chapter 3 – A Scum’s Cleansing

I’ve finally made it to the outskirts of the Vatican after hundreds of miles of traveling. Along the way, I’ve gathered the materials I need to create the explosives that will destroy the undercities. I’ve also destroyed many other rest stops and killed when I felt that I could save a poor soul here and there. Looking at myself now, I see that I’m dirtied by more blood than dirt. The man I’m supposed to meet will probably freak out if he saw me like this, but then again, ratmen who aren’t allied with Vicar Sylvatic are rare and the Vicar has used the goodwill that the runaways have cultivated to send in spies and assassins who pretend to be the same runaways, so it probably doesn’t matter how I look. Still, I wash myself as best I can in a nearby pond to appear as best I can before continuing.

While on the road, I hear the sounds of a galloping horse coming towards me. Getting out of the pond and hiding in the bushes, I see a man dressed in royal garb and his horse. The man brings his horse near the pond to give it a rest and allow it to drink while he fills his water container and drinks from the pond himself. Noticing the water’s fowl taste, he spits out the water, empties his water container, sits down, and looks at the sky. From his appearance and the shiny sword and shield he has, I can tell he’s a man of influence. His black hair looks well-kept and his black and gold garb seems clean so he must’ve just left his home. His skin is as black as ash and his eyes are golden, which means he’s a native to this kingdom. Yes, this must be the man who will be my witness.

Since there’s no easy or simple way of doing this, I walk out of the bushes with my hands raised. When the man sees me, he quickly unsheathes his sword and backs away with his shield up and his legs spread out in a fighting stance. It appears he looks like he knows something about fighting or at least it looks that way.

“Do not worry. I mean you no harm,” I say.

“Step no closer. What’s a ratman like you doing here? I won’t let you take me if that’s what you plan on doing,” the man says while looking around and trying to keep his eyes on me at the same time.

“I truly mean you no harm. I only ask that you come with me to witness me expose the threat of Vicar Sylvatic’s army to the Church.”

“Really? Why should I trust you?”

The man’s horse curiously approaches me, smells me, and then licks my face.

“Do I appear dangerous? Would I approach you this way if I meant to kill or kidnap you? Your horse seems to trust me.”

“Ratmen are always stronger and craftier than they appear, but my horse is usually a good judge of character. Okay, I’ll help you if you explain who you are and what you mean by being a witness to expose the threat of the false Vicar’s forces.”

“My name is Ziotogora. I was a head researcher for the Vicar, but I’ve now turned my back on him because of my deceased father’s intercession who has been God’s tool to open my eyes to my sins. I am to bring you down to the undercities that are under the Vatican and make you witness their destruction so as to convince you of the true extent of the dangers of the Vicar’s forces.”

“You want to bring me down there, and did you say undercities as in multiple undercities underneath the Vatican itself?”

“Yes, and there are three undercities under the Vatican, one small one directly under it and two larger ones a bit further from it.”

The man lowers his guard and looks to be considering the implications of this truth.

“How can this be possible? I haven’t even heard of any reports of ratmen in this area. And three undercities?”

“The ratmen are craftier than you think and can get past even your best defenses by tunneling underground where you least expect them to be.”

“In terms of bringing me down, what guarantee do I have of my safety and how will you destroy them by yourself?”

“I will keep you in this sack with holes in it and carry you around so that the ratmen down there do not touch you and act as if you’re a new experiment of mine.”

“Can you carry me around? I’m bigger than you.”

“Trust me,” I say as I lift the man’s horse above my head with my hands. “I can.”

I then put down the man’s horse who doesn’t seem to mind that I picked it up.

“Okay, I see that now.”

“As for how I will destroy the undercities by myself, I know of its weak points that will make it collapse in on itself. I have the materials and know-how to make explosives with me and where the supplies are in the undercity to make more just in case I run out.”

“So, I take it that you’ve been to them yourself?”

“I’ve been there multiple times over the course of many generations, yes.”

The man paces back and forth considering what I’ve said while looking up at the eternal night sky of Noctua as if asking Heaven for advice.

“Okay, okay. Against my better judgment, I believe you. Let’s just make this as quick as possible because I’m sure it’s going to be a harrowing experience.”

“I know that, so I’ll try to be as quick as possible. What is your name by the way?”

“Niccolo.”

“Niccolo, thank you so much for believing me. God bless you.”

“We’re going to need to be blessed to get through this alive.”

“That you are correct on.”

Niccolo and I ride on his horse close to the hidden entrance of the nearest undercity and then he tells it to go home, which it does. What a surprisingly well-mannered animal. I then quickly put Niccolo into my sack with his sword much to his surprise.

“Did you really have to do that so suddenly?” he asks.

“Yes, I did. These entrances are watched, so I don’t want anyone thinking that we’re working together even though I don’t see anyone around here,” I say.

“I guess it makes sense.”

Now with my witness in hand, I make it to the secret entrance that’s hidden in a meadow under some dirt that is easy to miss and mistake for a lump in the ground. I dig layers of the dirt out, open the hatch, and head into the maze of tunnels. Even though it’s been some time since I last been here, I go in circles once and end up at a dead end, I manage to find myself at the entrance of the undercity where I am immediately ambushed by ratman guards wearing heavy armor who wield claws of steel.

“Speak your name or die,” one of the guards says.

I take off my hood making the guards recoil in surprise.

“Zio-Ziotogora! I’m sorry we didn’t recognize you when we saw you on the surface, sir. That cloak hid much of your face. Why have you honored us with your presence today and who is this with you?”

“Fools. I have no need to answer any of your questions, as your superior, but for your sake, I will reveal that this man with me is Niccolo, a royal,” I say before revealing Niccolo’s head but keeping him in the sack.

“Ah, so that’s who we saw. We couldn’t get a good look at his face since you put him in your sack before we could but knew that he was doing one of his usual runaways from his family’s estate. This is a valuable specimen if you didn’t know. We were going to capture him today, especially since he’s in bad standing with his family and his family’s business so he wouldn’t be missed, so we’re glad that you managed to catch him.”

Another guard says, “Could you be so charitable to us and let us know what experiments you’re going to run on him?”

“Oh, and if you aren’t going to experiment on him, could we have the first taste of his flesh? The royals always taste the best,” yet another guard says with a drooling mouth.

“I will not have you harm him in the least. I need him in perfect health for my purposes,” I say.

The guards look at each other and laugh before one of them says to Niccolo, “Oh ho, ho! That means he’s going to put you through such pains that you’ll wish you’d die.”

“Turn him into a female and give him to us so we can have some fun!” another says.

“I can’t wait to hear him scream his lungs out and writhe in agony!” yet another guard says.

“Get out of my way!” I say as I push Niccolo’s head back into the sack, pass the cackling guards, and go through the doors to enter the undercity.

This place is as impressive as always with its tallest buildings reaching into the dark abyss above where the ground is supposed to be. It looks like the buildings here have been reinforced with metal plating, but the structures below them shouldn’t be any harder to blow up even if they have been reinforced. There are many more guards here than in a usual undercity, but this one has more guards roaming about with no-nonsense looks on their faces. Still, I can hear the sounds of debauchery, torturing, and women in labor pains echo through this overly large cave. Once I make it down to where the structures keeping these buildings stable are, I use my credentials to make it past the guards to enter the small space and then make sure the coast is clear before allowing Niccolo out of the sack and getting to work setting up the explosives.

“Take a breath and keep a lookout for guards while I work. I shouldn’t be too long,” I say.

“Yeah,” Niccolo says in a shaky voice. “Um. Those terrifying things those ratmen were saying about experimenting on people. Have you really done that?”

“I have. Many of the monsters around here including the abominations that are men masquerading as women are my creation as well. They’re all horror that I’m ashamed to have made.”

“I’ve seen them through the holes in the sack. I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing them. In fact, I probably won’t be able to sleep without seeing them in my nightmares, and the screams of the women. Those screams are going to echo through my mind for a while as well.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t get a better look. Let’s just say that a dirty bathroom is cleaner than their so-called places of pleasure. As for the screams of the women, those were women who were giving birth to ratmen and who are soon going to die not just from giving birth but also from being eaten alive by her children.”

“That sounds more than nightmarish. Did you…”

“Yes, I’m responsible for that as well since ratmen can’t be women and can’t give birth to ratmen even when given the reproductive organs of a woman.”

I’m fully expecting Niccolo to kill me, but for some reason, I don’t want to turn to make sure he doesn’t. Perhaps, I want him to kill me because of what I’ve done. Nevertheless, nothing happens.

I continue by saying, “Their inability to produce children naturally is one of the primary weaknesses of the ratmen. Once the Church knows of this and bolsters their defenses, there should be significantly fewer ratmen for them to face. Niccolo.”

“Huh? What is it?” he says.

“Just making sure you’re listening to me and still awake. The explosives are almost done. These undercities are built with self-destruct mechanisms in them to bring them down upon their enemies if the battle goes poorly, but the inhabitants of this city will not have enough time to leave.”

“Even the captives?”

“Unfortunately, yes. We have no choice but to leave them behind. It will simply take too long and be too risky to rescue them even if we had a legion of troops behind us.”

“I…I understand.”

I finish setting up the explosives and start the timer. After putting Niccolo back into the sack, I run away with him and make my way into the maze-like tunnels that go into the next undercity. By the time I make it to the next city, the ground starts to shake, which means the explosives have gone off. Thankfully, I made it here in time, so they do not suspect me of the other city’s destruction. The guards of this undercity are checking out what is going on while relatively few stand guard here. This allows me to easily slip through them and head under the city to where the structures keeping it up are that are currently unguarded and get to work.

“Keep an eye out like last time, Niccolo. There’s no one here no, but they may send people here to check on their self-destruct mechanism,” I say.

“I will,” he says.

Several minutes of uncomfortable silence pass until I break it by saying, “Those guards from before said you usually run away from home?”

“Yes. I can’t stand my family’s life of politics and having no say in the direction of my life. I’d rather be a soldier in the army than the child of politicians who are specifically influencing what the army is doing.”

“You’re blessed to at least have a family. I wasn’t always a ratman. I was born as a normal human and the child of an affair between a royal and a bishop. My mother was executed after trying to kill me and my father died when I was a young adult. For generations, after I turned into a ratman, I secluded myself in my experiments because I wanted to make a name for myself thinking that I’d eventually feel fulfilled by it, but that never happened. It just made me thirstier for rewards and the results that I wanted. I am more than grateful that my father came to me in a dream as an instrument of God to change my life so I wouldn’t be stuck in that life until the end of my days, and you should be thankful for what your parents have given you. It’s not like you’ve worked for corrupt royals and bishops like I have, have you?”

“No, not really, even if I question some of our actions. I’d just rather be fighting than sending others to fight and die for me.”

“Someone has to do the job and it takes just as much strength, or sometimes more, to command men than to fight.”

“I see. Wait, I hear someone coming down here.”

“What we have will have to do then.”

Putting Niccolo back into the sack, we manage to escape just as I see some ratmen come down to examine the structures. The timer is shorter so it should go off before they manage to find and disarm it. I race towards the uppermost undercity from this one. Entering into the tunnels connecting this city to the next, I shift from one path to the next to avoid the guards patrolling it and going to and from the cities. Before we’re able to get to the next city above us, the ground shakes and the tunnels around us start to collapse.

Racing as fast as I can, I move through the tunnels, and just as the ground above us is breaking, I see the structures holding the above city stable. Thank you, God, for making this easier for me. I quickly enter the new opening, drop Niccolo, and do my best to ready the explosives at an even quicker rate than usual.

“Ready yourself! We can’t afford to be subtle,” I say.

“Right!” Niccolo says as he takes his sword out and readies himself for a fight.

It isn’t long before the guards discover us and try to stop me. Niccolo is thankfully a good fighter and manages to hold them off, however, a few of them get through forcing me to stop what I’m doing to defend myself. Seeing as how we have no time, I set the timer on the explosives shorter than the last time, grab Niccolo, and race to the surface. The explosives I’ve set immediately go off leading to the ground and buildings above us to collapse. Running as fast as I can, I leap between debris until making it to the tunnels that lead directly to the surface that are collapsing as well. The way forward gets blocked while others open up forcing me to guess and pray that I am going the right way.

By the time I’m halfway to the surface, the rest of the tunnel collapses, however, the way up is completely clear leading to a straight shot to the surface. Once we finally make it above ground, we see that we’re in St. Peter’s Square and there’s a large crater behind us. Before we can catch our breath, the Vatican’s guards surround us and start to question me. I let Niccolo go and he starts to tell them what I told him and what he’s experienced, and thanks be to God, they believe him, but still put me in a secured and guarded room until things settle down. As I sleep, I dream of myself being in my old human form and see that I am surrounded by my parents who are hugging me. My father is clothed in a glorious light as always while my mother is clothed in a gold and red flame.

“I knew you could do it,” my father says.

“My boy, my son. I love you so much. I’m sorry for what I tried to do to you,” my mother says.

I wake up soon after in tears and have to catch my breath before going back to sleep. A day passes until I am able to see Niccolo again and tell the Pope, archbishops, cardinals, military generals, and royals of the many kingdoms the true threat the ratmen possess and Vicar Sylvatic’s plans to attack soon with his heavily mutated and regenerating soldiers and make the many undercities reveal themselves and overwhelm the locations they are nearest to. Since Niccolo already gave his account of what he saw and how I was the one who caused the destruction of the undercities, the Church leaders believe me. For the next two years, I help these leaders strategize against the Vicar, pointing out locations of undercities, telling them the weaknesses of the mutated abominations, and how to fight the ratmen in the undercities and where the self-destruct mechanism is in every undercity so they’ll be able to take them and save the captives within them. We make good progress to the point where I’m confident that the Vicar will eventually face justice and his armies crumble.

In these two years, I’ve also gotten progressively sicker to the point where I need a cane to help me walk around. It is also in these two years that I developed a sort of companionship with members of the Church, especially Niccolo, whom I spend my days of rest with. I’ve even gone to his family’s estate for holidays and they surprisingly accepted my presence among them. Perhaps it’s because I’m not as dirty as I once was or because they don’t mind the fact that I’m a walking rodent with the figure and face of a mutated man. Being with them is nice and makes me feel like I am among family rather than friends, a fact that brings tears of joy multiple times. On one seemingly random day, while walking around with Niccolo, I feel my strength finally fail me. I fall down and cough more blood than usual, but despite my pain, I feel peace and know my time has finally come. Niccolo begs me to get up and tries to get me help to bring me to the nearest hospital.

I hold his hand, try my best to give him a comforting smile, and say, “It’s okay, Niccolo. Be glad because a great sinner faces his due judgment today.”

“Hold on, my friend! Don’t leave me yet!” Niccolo says.

Friend, huh? That title feels like a more respectable title than the ones I received while in the service of Vicar Sylvatic. After breathing my last, my body transforms while a golden light takes me upward as if it were the hand of God. Looking at my hands and body, I see that I’m back to being a normal human, and in front of me are my mother and father, both of whom are clothed in a glorious light. They run to embrace me, tell me how much they love me, and how they’re overjoyed that we’ll make up the lost time together in Heaven.

I smile, hug them, and say, “I love you too, mother and father. Thank you for helping me to get here to be with God and you, forever.”

The End

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Last Penance: Chapter 2 – Through the Muck of My Own Making

Chapter 2 – Through the Muck of My Own Making

After traveling for a while through the underground tunnels of Eastern Europe, I rest at an underground ratmen stop though I wish I didn’t need the rest. The reason for this is that most rest stops like this double as prostitution and drug dealing dens. Around me are not only ratmen but also bandits, traitors, and cultists of all races that we’ve convinced to be on our side. The ratmen with the bodies of women dance on tables and makeshift stages to the drunken cheers of the degenerates of this rest stop. Along with the fake women, there are real women dancing and prostituting themselves with them. Some of these women have been brainwashed with chemicals or forced to do this by us or truly believe that this is what they want for themselves.

Regardless of the circumstances of their being here, some become brood mothers who give birth to children who will be used to give birth to ratmen if the child is female or experimented on to become a ratman if the child is male. It feels disgraceful to be here not only because I’m wearing dirtied brown rags after letting go of the luxurious robes that I earned after generations of hard work but also because I’m in the presence of these people and their sins. This reminds me too much of my own disgraceful actions and the life I lived. Why did you allow me to live that sort of life, Lord? Why didn’t you come to me sooner, father?

My father’s voice speaks to me from my shoulder. He says, “My son, my greatest treasure from God, I am sorry for dragging you through this. The reason why you were allowed to live the sinful life you lived is because the shame you feel now for it is a driving force that will propel you to do your penitential act.”

It's definitely doing a good job of making me want to move. I’ve obtained the grace of the clarity of conscience even in the depths of my sin and in the sinful places I’ve been in. Still, I can’t help but feel abandoned. Even when I was a normal human, the churches of Eastern Europe acted questionably because of Vicar Sylvatic. The Vicar accrued all the power and influence he could in Constantinople and made his seat of power a den of prostitution, daily orgies, and parties. Those who dared try to stop him were assassinated quietly and disposed of as if they had simply disappeared. To be honest, he and his supporters are no different now than he was before except in the obvious way where his character is now accurately depicted by his appearance.

His corrupt church is the environment I grew up in, with my father being one of the few virtuous people in it. I find it hard to accept that God allowed me to be trapped in such a den of darkness even though I have an idea about how it may bring about a greater good through it. It also brings to mind the nature of my birth and how I grew up with a natural distaste for women because of what my mother tried to do and the typical sluts I’ve met during my time who wanted power by trying to get me to like them. That’s one lesson I’ll never forget, father. Never be too quick to trust or fall in love with someone.

“Your mother regretted her decision before and during her execution,” I hear my father say. “She is in Purgatory now and will be there for quite a while. Please, put aside your feelings and pray for her as I am doing. She does love you.”

My father’s words make me question whether or not they are his or am imagining them, but then again, I feel like I’ve been imagining his voice ever since I saw him in my dream.

“Here is your food and water as requested,” the supplier ratman says as he finally brings me what I came here for.

I managed to buy some basic animal meat and dirty water after killing some ratmen who were eating a human alive in the tunnels and taking their gold and goods that I could sell. People typically die in these tunnels for petty reasons and infighting so no one should care. I hardly even care that I killed those men because, in comparison to my previous deeds, my killing of those ratmen was a virtuous deed. Moving on from this location, I find a place in the tunnels where I can no longer hear the sounds of people being tortured, orgies, women giving birth and being eaten alive, and other sinful deeds. In the dirt and dark, I eat alone and can’t help but appreciate it.

I’m tired of the constant noise and seeing people controlled by their vices. The reason why they rape, murder, and engage in homosexual acts is because they are ruled by their feelings, and their conscience is darkened by their sins and corrupted will. I’m hoping that whatever God has planned for me will bring an end to the madness even if it ends in the erasure of the ratman race. Once I finish my meager meal, I continue through the barely lit tunnels. Even though these tunnels are barely distinct from one another and I lack a map, I remember the way to the Vatican and have only asked back at the rest stop for meager clarifications. I’ve been through these tunnels so many times for so many hundreds of years to experiment and to spy on the Vicar’s enemies, so finding my way around is child’s play.

While going through the tunnels, I can’t help but hunger again for more food. I knew I should’ve gotten more meat, but I didn’t think I would get this hungry this fast. Because of my hunger, I grow desperate enough to eat the actual rats, mice, and vermin that I find in the tunnels alive. With each meal, I look at my bloodied hands, wipe away my salivating mouth, and realize how much of an animal I am. My body craves constant sustenance and the stimulation of my senses to the point where I start to get the shakes. To curb these desires, I pray and try not to focus on them.

Suddenly, I hear the sounds of screams, and my senses flair up again. Curiosity gets the better of me and I track the sounds of orc traitors carrying women down the tunnels. Three of them are carrying the women and two of them are carrying torches. I shouldn’t get myself involved in this, but I feel pushed to for no other reason than to save them. Why should I? I have more important matters to see to. So what if they are sold, die a horrible death in childbirth, or are subjected to the desires of sick men for the rest of their lives? I’ve passed others who are already suffering that fate, but didn’t help them, so why am I feeling the need to save them now?

The burdens of my conscience eventually crush me under their weight and I leap into action by starting with cutting the throat of the orcs that are carrying the torches with my bare claws so that they are now walking in the dark. My eyes as a ratman allow me to see in this darkness as if it were evening and my speed and strength give me the tools I need to impale the chests and heads of the remaining orcs with little trouble as their attacks don’t manage to hit me.

After freeing the restraints of the women, I point in the direction of the nearest exit and tell them, “Escape! Leave here now and don’t stop running in that direction unless you want to suffer a worse fate than them!”

The women scream and run in the direction I pointed towards. This is strange. I feel both justified in what I did and a rush of sinful delight. I…I need to feed! No! I need…I need more bloodshed! No, no, no! I…need to control myself. Get away from here! Sprinting as fast as I can from this place, I run down tunnel after tunnel until I reach another rest stop, another den of filth and debauchery. The ratmen who have made themselves look like women try to involve me with their partying and pleasures even as I resist.

“Unhand me, cretins! I have no time to deal with you filthy men of perdition,” I say.

One of the guards who is a bit too tipsy on his job approaches me, grabs me by the shoulder, and says, “Hey, man, the ladies just want to show you a good time. You look like you’ve been through a lot so why don’t you unwind with us?”

“Yes, why don’t you take a break and sit down with us? I know all the ways to make even the most hardened travelers relax,” one of the ratmen says in a feminine voice while running his hand over my chest.

Disgusted by this, I push them aside and say, “I’ve had enough of you, fake women! Leave me alone!”

“Calm down she’s just trying to help you, sir,” the guard says.

“HE is nothing more than a man wearing the flesh of a woman.”

My anger and need for violence flares up even more now even as the drug-filled air and people of this den of filth try to get me to relax. In the face of every one of them, I hear the accusation, “This is all your fault, this is all your fault!” The screams of women in deathly labor tell of the evils I’ve done and the partying, orgies, and torturing that is happening in this place yell at me for all the times I chose my safety and interests over virtue and doing what was right. Again and again, I hear “You are not your father’s child. You are no servant of God or virtuous in the slightest. All your works are nothing more than the reason why you should be damned for all eternity.” The noise drives me insane to the point where I push my way through the crowds, bust into the armory, and start mixing the chemicals and explosives within it to blow and burn this place to the ground and surely enough, it does soon after killing most of the people in it.

The explosions have given me a way out of the tunnels and into the fresh air of the surface. I finally sit down and look at the destruction I’ve caused as my wounds quickly close and heal. This quick healing is the result of the research between Ischemic and me, research that I wished never bore any fruit. Right now, all I want to do is die and be free of this cursed and guilt-filled existence, however, I don’t have long to rest and catch my breath as one of the ratman guards on the surface, a mutant with various heads of rats and men comes to attack me. It’s the size of a tiger, has the strength of ten men, and is another result of my experimentation, which means I know its weaknesses and how to easily kill it.

There’s a weakness in its legs that I cut with my claws to take advantage of so that it stays in place, cut off its razorblade-like tail, and then make it lower itself even further by cutting at its neck area. I then light the abomination on fire with nearby branches and the fires from the destruction that I caused in the tunnels so it doesn’t regenerate. Once the creature stops writhing and screaming in pain and finally dies, I sit down in the dirt to catch my breath. Putting that thing down took more energy out of me than blowing up the rest stop. Not many of the abominations, experiments, and ratmen soldiers are able to regenerate the same as that creature, Ischemic, and I, but once more ratmen do, the Church’s army will have a nearly impossibly task in pushing them back.

It's only now that I realize why I was chosen by God for the penitential task He has for me. I know the weaknesses of the regenerating ratmen, how to effectively create explosives, and how to make the undercities collapse in on themselves. I’ve been to the undercities under the Vatican multiple times and know the weaknesses of the structures that hold them up. The buildings that hold up the ground above them may be strong and marvelous, but after I take out the primary structures, they’ll fold in on themselves like a house of cards. Now the last piece of the puzzle will be finding a man near the undercities who will be a credible witness to my deeds and speak of the true magnitude of the threat of the Vicar’s forces to the Church.

The realization I recently received makes me confident that I will not only find him but succeed in my task as well. Thank you, God and father, for the clarity of mind and conscience, so that I don’t end up like Ischemic, the Vicar, and the many perverted ratmen I’ve come across, and thank you, especially for this last chance to make up for my life of sin.

Saturday, May 11, 2024

Last Penance: Chapter 1 – A Sudden Change of Heart


Chapter 1 – A Sudden Change of Heart

My father was Bishop Sergius, a humble clergy member with nothing special about him other than his position and the fact that he had a secret relationship with a member of the royalty despite his vow of celibacy. During one of their secret visits together, things got heated between them and later it was discovered that my mother had become pregnant with me. My mother thought about getting rid of me to save both their reputations, but my father convinced her to keep me and to secretly give me up for adoption after I was born. She agreed, however, my father changed his mind after seeing my face after I was born. He wanted to keep me so badly that he approached the archbishops and cardinals of the region of Eastern Europe with rags on, presented his bishop’s robes and jewelry up to them, confessed what he did, and said to take away his status as bishop as punishment and make sure I would get a good upbringing.

Moved by his confession, the archbishops and cardinals let him keep his position as bishop and keep me as his child, but for a year, he was not allowed to say mass or use his status as bishop for anything and he had to live in poverty at a monastery. On the other hand, when given the opportunity to confess her sins, my mother thought the decision of the bishops was a mistake and begged them to take me while she kept her power and possessions. Because of this, she was exiled from her home for five years and was not allowed to see me, my father, or any of her relatives or acquaintances unless they wanted to see her. Enraged by their decision, my mother later tried killing me while I was in the monastery, but my father and monks managed to stop her and she was publicly executed for the attempted murder of an infant and her child. While I was growing up, I never heard anything good said about her other than she seemed like a decent person on the surface with my father saying the nicest things about her, but they were mostly general things such as she was pretty and mannerly.

For the rest of my younger years, I was taught by priests and given the best education even after my father died while I was at university studying so I could learn how to repair the technology of the past and be a doctor. During this time, the Great Treachery took place, the entire Eastern European region became a wasteland, and the survivors became what is known as ratmen. Pope Sylvatic and those loyal to him such as his general named Sars and head researcher named Ischemic were somehow alive despite being at the center of the disaster, saw their mutations as blessings, and told his followers to find out what the world was doing now. From then on, he’s been making moves to take back the papacy that’s been taken from him since it’s been thought he was dead by force to show his power and to punish the Church for thinking he was dead. He’s sent out legions of ratmen to infest the world, building undercities in and around major and minor cities and towns and kidnapping people to experiment on and turn into ratmen since women can’t become one.

This is the area of expertise I was put into under the command of Ischemic. With him, I experimented on many kidnapped women and tried to make them into ratmen. When that didn’t work, I tried making the existing ratmen into women, which also didn’t work. In hindsight, there’s no reason why it could because manipulating the flesh of a being doesn’t make it into something it isn’t. It only makes it a thing with the flesh of another. This is probably the experiment I regret doing the most since there are many ratmen out there now parading around as women even though they are not with their womanly voices and forms and are even having sex with them and acting as if they are true women, which disgusts me to no end.

Moving on from that, after many failed experiments, I managed to make it so that a human woman could have ratmen children after being injected with various chemicals and having procreated with a ratman. The result ends in the death of the woman when the ten or so ratmen infants are born as the children would burst from her stomach and eat her alive, however, the resulting children will also grow up faster than normal children and be around the physical age of twenty-one by the time they are five years old. My accomplishments are celebrated and the Holy Vicar has rewarded me for my efforts for what seemed to be a miraculous breakthrough. I thought I really had found my true calling in life and that God was on my side. My experiments led to Vicar Sylvatic’s eventual takeover of the world and domination of the ratmen. That was until I saw my father in a dream. He appeared as he did as I always pictured him with his red and gold bishop robes with a supernatural and warm light that wrapped around him like a cloak.

He told me, “My son, Ziotogora, it is time to repent and do penance for your years of sin and inhumane experimentation.”

“You look like my father and sound like him, but you speak nonsense. The results of my experiments and their use by the Holy Vicar are self-evidently that of Divine Providence and approval,” I responded.

“Through God’s grace, I will open your eyes to your atrocities so that you may turn from them and walk the path of redemption.”

As I looked into my father’s kind green eyes and soft smile, I couldn’t help but believe this was my father. When I woke up, it felt as if I woke up from a drunken night of debauchery and was now feeling the effects of it. Regret began to fill my heart as I remembered my many victims and their cries. My head ached with the pain while remembering the sights of tortured victims and mothers being eaten alive by their children.

“What have I done?” I asked myself. “Why did God allow me to do these things without stopping me? Death would have been preferable than to live with this regret.”

I wrestled with my questions going back and forth, relapsing into my previous way of thinking, and then repenting on my knees afterward. This went on for hours and hours until I had fallen asleep after overthinking it for so long. The next day came and I was expected to go to work to continue with my experiments, but I decided to take a break, and thankfully, my request was granted because of my many years of relentless hard work and positive results. Again, I wrestled with my questions in prayer and panic for the entire day without getting any real rest. I could hardly eat especially since most of my meals were that of human meat. It was then I cursed myself for discovering that a ratman’s body operates better after consuming human flesh. The flesh of animals, fish, and the vegetation of the earth has to be consumed in three times the amount to match the satisfaction and strength that only comes from human flesh, and there’s another question. Why does God allow it to be this way?

I took the next two days off to wrestle with my questions until, on the third day, I met with Ischemic who wanted to see me because he was concerned about my health and sudden break in my research. Now in the present moment, I sit with him as he eats the corpse of a high elf while we watch a battle happen in the distance. Again, I curse myself for discovering that a ratman’s digestion makes no distinction between normal human flesh and that of the flesh of elves, orcs, beastmen, and other minor variations of humans such as those from Canis, Noctua, and Polypus. Ahead of us, we watch a battle between our forces and those of Canis and the orcs Bernhard. Part of me wants this battle to go poorly for us so I can go on the quest my father wants me to, but I don’t think that’ll happen. The forces of the ratmen are superior in this fight, and the best army in the world. I know that for sure since I helped build it.

Despite Canis having soldiers who can wield white flames that are devasting to most forces, we can melt them with acids from our cannons that their white fires cannot put out. From there, it should only be a matter of time before all the headstrong soldiers are killed by our overwhelming forces, especially the mutated ones such as the ratmen who share one huge, mutated body that is the size of a building and runs with the force of an elephant and speed of a lion.

“Tell me, my friend. What’s been troubling you?” Ischemic says with a mouth full of food.

“I’ve just been pondering certain questions in my head and allowing myself to rest,” I answer.

“Then rest and enjoy yourself! You’ve earned it after generations of hard work and brilliant discoveries. Would you like to eat some high elf like I am? They’re rare to obtain, but delicious nevertheless and kept only for men of honor like us.”

“I’m not hungry at the moment.”

“How about you move your attention from the entertainment in front of us to the entertainment around us?”

The so-called “entertainment” he is talking about is the ratmen who appear to be ratmen women but aren’t dancing in thin silk and jewelry around us. I know in my soul that these people are still men despite having breasts, female-like faces, and feminine voices. It is with great shame that I must admit that I have had the feelings of indulging my desire to have my way with them as many ratmen do, but I have managed to curb my desires, especially with the clarity given to me by my father. Still, I know why the ratmen give in. Ever since becoming ratmen, our nerves and feelings such as anger, lust, and impatience have been amplified leading to a great need to let out these feelings in some way. Even the men who chose to undergo surgeries to appear to be a female version of a ratman do this for this purpose as far as I can tell from the ones that I questioned.

Regardless, they are all blinded by their passions. We are all blinded. I must admit that my passion for research and experimentation to make a name for myself has blinded me to what I was doing for it to only now give me feelings of disgust, regret, and question if what I’m doing is really correct.

“I see you are still in deep thought,” Ischemic says with a dancer in each arm. “Did you not come here to relax? I know I struggle to give my genius mind the rest it needs, so I know how you feel. It is only thanks to the blessing that God has given us as ratmen that we’ve been able to work so long and come up with so many genius ideas without much rest, and I thank Him every day for it.”

Keeping quiet and my eyes on the battle ahead of us, I can’t help but want something to change now and get me out of this situation. Before I know it, the battle is over and we have won.

“Ah, another glorious victory for the Holy Vicar, God, and us,” Ischemic says.

“It was…a predictable one,” I say.

“As are most of our victories. That is why I like being on the frontlines since being back here can be boring even if it does give me a sense of catharsis to see the fruits of my experiments. As for the spoils of our victories, I do hope there are some orc women who are still alive. The ratmen children produced from them are stronger than most though I can’t figure out why the ratmen children born from humans who can use magic can’t use magic themselves despite other human children being able to use the magic of both parents.”

“It’s something I haven’t figured out yet.”

“I can’t wait to make that breakthrough. Imagine ratmen who can use fire magic like the men of Canis. I do hope we have subjects from there to experiment on to further our research, and if there aren’t any, at least their flesh is spicy and gives me a rush to eat, unlike other humans. I know they’re your favorite, so I’ll allow you to take your pick, but please, save some for me.”

“Of course.”

While I sit and think about what else I can do today, the familiar voice of my father speaks into my ear as if he were actually here.

He says, “It’s time, Ziotogora. Take the opportunity to leave when you see it. It is your only chance.”

“Huh?!” I say as I jolt up from my seat and look around.

“Is something the matter?” Ischemic asks.

“Didn’t you hear…”

Before I can form my thoughts into words, an explosion behind us turns Ischemic and I’s attention back to the battlefield that is now being filled with soldiers from Polypus who are using their ice magic and soldiers from Onocrotalus who are using blood magic.

“Soldiers from Onocrotalus!” Ischemic says as he throws away his dancers to get a closer look at the battle. “What rare specimens! I need them for my research.”

From my experience, the people of Onocrotalus are functionally immortal. I’ve cut them up into many pieces and they’ve managed to reform themselves every time, and no matter how well they were secured, they’ve always managed to escape my grasp because of a crimson mist that appears around them. The people of Polypus are not as resilient as those from Onocrotalus, but they are magical people and have mysteries of their own I’d like to solve, the first one being why the two are working together here of all places. Both kingdoms are self-isolating from the rest and don’t get involved in the affairs of others unless it’s of major importance. They couldn’t possibly be here because…is my role in God’s plan that important? Are they here to create a distraction so I can escape?

This has to be the chance my father was talking about. There’s no other explanation for it that is coming to my mind, so I have no choice but to take it. It’s too perfect not to take, especially since Ischemic appears to be itching to get into the fight so he can get his valuable test subjects.

“Ischemic, this appears to be a good a battle as any to get involved in,” I say.

“Yes, yes, yes, I’d like very much to get involved, but should I really? Even though my experiments on myself give me a similar immortality to the men of Onocrotalus, I can only do so much when my head and limbs keep getting cut off,” Ischemic says with a foaming mouth.

“So what? The fruits of your research and determination to succeed will carry you through. Are you truly willing to pass on this rare opportunity to obtain such rare test subjects?”

“Oh, Ziotogora, you know how to tempt me too well. Yes, yes, yes! I will rush into the bloodshed and obtain what is rightfully mine and feast in this bounty that the Lord has blessed us with. Come with me, my friend! Our next breakthrough awaits!”

Heading into the battle with Ischemic, I ready myself, say a silent prayer to God, and ask for my father’s intercession for protection. The prayer seems to be answered as I manage to pass through the chaos of the battle without injury. I get the idea of making it seem like I died during the battles, so I strip myself of my garments and leave them on the ground to be stamped over and blood spilled upon. It’s disgraceful to be in this “nude” state, but it’s necessary so that I’m not sought after. Even if they don’t buy the idea due to the lack of a body, it should at least give me somewhat of a head start.

After dodging and crawling through the chaos of the battle, I manage to get some distance from it and hide in the hole of a nearby tunnel. I check myself for injuries and don’t find a scratch.

“Thank you, father,” I say while crossing myself.

“Ziotogora, my son,” the voice of my father says as if his face was right by my ear. “I am proud of you and overjoyed that you are on the path of redeeming your soul. You must now go to the Vatican and eliminate the surrounding undercities as a way to inform the Church of the true magnitude of the threat of Vicar Sylvatic.”

“That…that would be suicide to do on my own!”

“I will be with you, you will have God’s favor, and you will find a man near your destination who will be your credible witness that will speak of the validity of your claims. I trust that you will also come up with a plan that will make the destruction of the undercities possible. You are a genius after all.”

“That I am. Well, since I am on this path now, I guess there’s no going back, is there? Father?”

I don’t receive an answer from my father no matter how long I wait or what I ask, so I make my way through the underground tunnels and towards my destination. Perhaps the answers to my questions will come to me along the way or when I need them most. Please, father, make it so.

Saturday, May 4, 2024

A collection of my latest stories is out today!

Paperback ($10.99) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D38FGVM6

Kindle ($4.99) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D389PNHQ


Following the guards and soldiers of the Church in a post-apocalyptic, dark fantasy world, each will put their lives on the line and defend those they love as they fight the enemies of God and the Church. The knights of Noctua fight alongside the Pope as they wage a crusade against the manipulative Cult of the Sun, Aegeus is a guard of the heavily armored kingdom of Equus, the Pope's assassin is now his bodyguard, best friend, and defends him against another assassination attempt, and lastly, the knights of Leo are sent on various deployments, which show the various threats the Church faces some of which test their resolve to continue in their role as a soldier.


This collection includes; Knights Blessed by Moonlight, His Name is Aegeus, Royal Criminal, and The Virtue of a Simple Knight along with Behind the Story details for each story.