Unremembered and Unimportant: Chapter 2 – Struggle of the Weak and Naïve

Chapter 2 – Struggle of the Weak and Naïve

As Josephine wakes up, she sits up and rubs her shoulders. It’s still raining and as dark as it was when she fell asleep. Regardless of the weather, she heads out and hopes to encounter the Servant again. In her wandering, she finds others who are Dead like her who have the same stitched together and half gray, half their original skin color on them. She finds them talking to the same people who fled from her, yelled insults, and threw things at her not too long ago.

Approaching one of them she says, “Hello. How did you get these people to talk to you? They didn’t want anything to do with me yesterday.”

“The Servant gives us the grace and talent to do different things. You’re just a Conduit for His changing will,” the Dead woman says. The people of the town begin to notice Josephine and slowly back away from the evangelists. “I think it’s better if you went on your way.”

“…yeah, but I don’t know where I’m supposed to go next.”

“The Servant hasn’t told you?”

“No, even though I talked to Him yesterday. I admittedly didn’t think to ask and just wanted to rest.”

“I understand that, but you’re among the Dead and a Conduit for the Servant. There’s little to no time to rest.”

“I…I know.”

Josephine stops herself from giving an explanation for her want to rest knowing that the Dead woman would view it as an excuse as everyone like her experiences the same things and continues on anyway.

“Regardless, we do have a Conduit here that will give you an idea of where you might need to go. He’s the man in a black hood and covered in ashes over there,” the woman says while pointing to the man.

“Thank you.”

Going over to the man, Josephine sees him praying on his bleeding knees.

“Excuse me? I was told that you could help me find out what the Servant wants me to do next?” Josephine asks.

The man looks up at Josephine with a genuine smile on his face despite the muck and blood coming from his eyes and head.

“Bless you for your service and want to serve the Servant. I was told about your arrival by Him and already know where He wants you to go,” the man says.

“Does He always tell you what you need to know?”

“Not always, but I am always talking to Him and I always see Him. He doesn’t always answer all my questions though. Still, I have an unfathomable blessing that few others have. In fact, we all do because we were all spared from justice despite our sins because of the Servant’s mercy and willingness to patiently wait and suffer for our sins. Do you know that He is the source of all truth and love? That is why He is the Servant. He does so much for us that we are obligated by love to do the same. And did you know that-”

“As much I’m sure that the Servant loves your splurging about Him, you’re beginning to scare away the converts as much as that girl is,” the woman from before interjects.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I’ll go back to praying and doing penance. As for you, Josephine, the Servant wants you to go north to erase another Light of the World, which will be straight ahead after turning the corner over there,” the man says while pointing in the direction Josephine is meant to go in. “Be careful around this one because it’ll challenge you in a personal way.”

“Thank you.”

As Josephine walks away, she breathes out as if she had just run a marathon. The man’s endless ramblings about the Servant somehow made her feel mentally exhausted while she was listening to him. She knows that he was right in what he was talking about, but also that she still has a lot to learn before she can love the Servant like the man does. While passing through the area, she realizes that she’s going through her old neighborhood. There are Dead and Conduits like her trying to convert her friends and neighbors to the truth, and unlike yesterday, they’ve opened their doors and seem to be having a civil conversation with them. The sight of this somehow makes Josephine both disgusted and relieved at the same time, so she walks away from the scene to not interfere with the evangelists.

Continuing on, she walks out of the rain and back into the lights produced by the Lights of the World. Josephine is both relieved to be out of the rain and nervous at the same time and becomes distraught at the realization that she’s constantly being torn in two by her emotions.

“Come on. Just look at the positive side of things. I’m making up for the actions of my past and helping others in the process,” Josephine says to herself.

Soon, Josephine finds herself in a suburban town with farms surrounding it. There’s not a person in sight or sign of life anywhere. Further in, Josephine explores a restaurant and finds people sitting and standing around motionless with smiles on their faces. Trying to get their attention, Josephine pushes them and tries talking to them, all of which result in nothing. She then tries to act as a Conduit for the Servant’s influence as she did before, but again, nothing happens.

“Maybe I have to find who’s causing this like I did last time,” Josephine says to herself while continuing to wander around the town until she comes across her parents who are in the same state as everyone else.

Her parents are sitting on a park bench overlooking a river. They’re smiling and holding each other in their arms. This sight tears Josephine in two as she is both happy to see them and worried for their safety and what could’ve happened to them to make them like this. She touches their faces and then hugs them.

“I’ll save you, mom and dad. I love you,” Josephine says.

While walking around, Josephine begins to notice that her skin is changing along with her outfit. No longer does she look like a stitched-together Frankenstein monster dressed in rags. Instead, she looks as she did before she prostituted herself for others. The people in the town are now moving while some are phasing into reality bit by bit. Among the people that are appearing are Josephine’s old friends. They approach her with friendly faces.

One of them says, “It’s so good to see you again!”

“Huh?” Josephine says.

“We’re sorry about what we told you yesterday. We were just upset at what you did, but now that we’re all in something better, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t have mattered to begin with because we’re friends and we shouldn’t hate you no matter what you do.”

“You’ve done so much for us after all.”

“I’ve made an ice cream cake as my way of making up. Your favorite!” a friend says while showing Josephine the cake.

The design on the cake and what’s happening reminds Josephine of happier and simpler days when she would help out around people’s houses in the neighborhood and at school. She begins to cry tears of joy until she shakes her head and the feeling off of her.

“No, no, this is wrong,” Josephine says as she walks away from her friends.

“What’s so wrong about it?” a man says.

Looking around her, she doesn’t see the source of the voice even though the voice sounded like it came from somewhere close by.

“This is! This is fake!”

“Does it feel fake to you? What about smell? How about the looks of it? I can change whatever you want. This is your reality, after all.”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?”

“You can think of me as a friendly, concerned neighbor. I give everyone who enters my neighborhood the reality they want after picking through their memories.”

“I don’t want this! Let me go!”

“Don’t lie to yourself. You always want to be loved for what you do by your friends and family. Speaking of which…”

Josephine’s parents appear in front of her and give her a hug. As her parents shower her with affectionate words, she pushes them aside and runs away.

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” she says.

“What’s wrong? Is this not to your liking?” the neighbor says.

“This can’t be real. Even if this is, I saw my parents sitting motionless. What did you do to them?”

“Nothing. They are still sitting on the bench along with you. Both you, your parents, and everyone in this town are sitting or standing around in a state of undying, perpetual stasis with each one experiencing their own perfect version of reality.”

“A reality that you control?”

“No, they control their own reality. What you see and hear are all informed by your own wants and desires. In this way, everyone can live the life they want to without having to interfere with anyone else’s dreams.”

Knowing about her control over her circumstances, Josephine tries to imagine her way out of this reality and hears her family and friends screaming out as she does it.

“They’re not real, they’re not real,” Josephine says to herself.

“You can do anything you want in this reality. Why break free from it? Why cause your loved ones so much pain?” the neighbor asks.

“They’re not real!”

“They’re real here. Everything that you want to be real is real as long as you stay here. Why would you want to go back anyway? The Servant doesn’t need your help for anything. He has servants that He’s blessed with better abilities than you. You saw them not too long ago, didn’t you?”

“…I have, but He told me to come here to erase your false light.”

“One of His servants told you that He said that, but you didn’t hear Him say it yourself. It’s also obvious that you can’t do anything to stop me like you did with the other Light, so if anything, He sent you here and allowed you to be enraptured by my light so you can live in your own paradise.”

“No, that’s not true!”

“Is it now? Think of what you are to the Servant. A Conduit to His light. One of the Dead who no longer live for themselves. A sinner who spent her entire life in opposition to Him even if it was unknowingly. To Him, you are disposable. You’ve done your penance already. Now, it’s time to live your life for yourself and no one else. So, tell me, what do you want?”

Josephine is again surrounded by her friends and family who influence her to make a certain decision just by being there and looking at her with happy faces.

“I…I…I want to be happy and make other people happy.”

“And for what purpose?”

“Because it’s what I want to do.”

“That’s the right mindset to have. It’s the same mindset I have too, in fact.”

From the light of the sun, a being made of multiple heads appears. Tongues from one mouth on the body connect it to the mouth on its head and also act as pseudo arms and legs for it. The head on the body is the only one with its eye open and this eye is comprised of many colored eyes.

“It’s always bothered me to see people unhappy and in pain. In my old neighborhood, I was a community worker,” the neighbor says from the head on his chest as he approaches Josephine. “Because of the way the world works, no one could stay happy for long. One neighbor would die, another would fall into financial hard times, a parent would lose their job, a child would be hurt in an accident, and so on and so forth. It wasn’t until the Star, that had the light of the morning sun, did I think there’d be an end to the sadness and pain. Along with the other Lights of the World that it came with, it made the world better and made other Lights of the World, which included me. When I was offered the power to put people into an undying stasis where they would live in a reality of their making that fit their beliefs while also not interfering in the reality of others, how could I refuse it?”

The neighbor comes close to Josephine as he floats in the air. All his faces smile at her in an uneasily comforting way. Josephine gives a slight smile back in return.

“I understand,” Josephine says.

“I’m happy that you do and happy that you’re living for yourself and your own happiness. Maybe if the Star or another Light of the World comes by here, you can do the same as I do. Until then, I hope that you continue to be as happy as you can be.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome. Enjoy everything you have, neighbor.”

The neighbor dissipates into particles of light that go back into the sun. Josephine’s family and friends talk to her and to each other about how to spend the day. She enjoys her time talking, eating, playing, and doing community activities together. She’s happy to finally get what she wants, but at the same time, she can’t ignore a feeling of emptiness to it all.