Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Soulless and Hellbound: Chapter 4 – Final Act of Glory

Chapter 4 – Final Act of Glory

Seeing my old home from a distance fills me with a strange sense of nostalgia and disgust. I can’t dwell on my past for long since the sun will soon rise. My black flames break through buildings and whatever stands in my way to clear a direct path for me to get to my house. Before I can reach it, the chariot that I conjured loses its form and launches me forward before disintegrating. Everyone is looking at me strangely. They’re probably looking down on me for what wasn’t my fault. My power is quickly fading so I use the last of it to surround my house so my family doesn’t have a way out. I break down the door and enter to smell mother’s cooking. Going into the kitchen I see her with her sword drawn and my sister with her.

“Procella?” my mother says.

I create swords of black flames without saying anything and begin to attack my sister and mother, but my swords soon dissipate into nothing. The icy barrier around the house starts to fall and I struggle to keep it up. I need something else to kill them with so I try taking their swords from them only to be pinned to the ground.

“Procella!” my mother says.

“Kill me if you can! I’m already dead!” I say while struggling against them.

“Stop this already!”

“Why should I? Killing you will give me the glory I need to be taken seriously again.”

“The pursuit of glory has destroyed this family! It killed your father and tore us apart.”

“Why do you care so much now when awards and fame were all that was on your mind?”

“Because I finally see what it’s done to us. I’m sorry for expecting so much from you, Procella. I share the blame for the atrocities that you’ve committed.”

My mother and sister back off and sheathe their swords.

My sister turns her back to me while trying to keep eye contact and says, “I’m sorry too for putting you down as well. I’m also sorry for sabotaging you so I could do better than you.”

What they say calms my rage for some reason as I stand. I don’t understand this. I want to hate them. I want to kill them, but I also want to cry. How can such simple apologies do this to me?

“I-I don’t care if you apologize to me!”

“Procella…”

“Sh-shut up and die already!” I say as I throw a useless punch at them only to be embraced in return.

Now, I can’t help but cry. I want to hate this, but I can’t for some reason. They seem to be crying along with me, which is the most surprising part of this to me. Are they actually being honest with me?

“It’s okay, Procella. We’re here for you as we should’ve been from the beginning. You can start again with us,” my mom says.

“No, I can’t! I’m already dead and hellbound.”

“Don’t say that Procella. Believe in God’s mercy like you used to.”

“Stay away and forget me!” I say as I push them away and run out of the house.

My walls of ice have already melted and guards are surrounding the house. The morning sun is in the sky so all the power I once had is faded away, but the ones that I have now allow me to narrowly escape the guards and the city. After hours of walking, I make it to a shore where no one else is. The waves violently crash against the rocks. Just looking at it makes me want to jump in and resume my punishment at the bottom of the sea. There’s nothing left for me here. My name is worth less than nothing and I can’t be the Queen of the Seas anymore. I’m pathetic.

“Is this what you wanted, God?” I say to the sky, “You wanted me to admit my faults, so I did. I was wrong. I’m sorry for killing so many people and stealing so much for my own glory when I should’ve been glorifying you. I really am sorry and don’t know what else to say but that I’m begging you to have mercy on a wretched soul such as myself.”

The waves from the sea grab me and pull me in as if it was alive. I’m then pulled deeper and deeper into the sea. What else should I have expected as a response from God for my sins? I don’t fight what is happening to me as I sink further below into the sea until I come to a stop in the darkest depths of it. Is this going to be my fate for the rest of eternity? Is this going to be my Hell?

What’s this? I feel my black flames begin to fade. If they do, I’ll really die. When my flames were stoked by the dark rituals and I was given immortality, the contract said that I would keep these things as long as I kept the black flames burning. This is a release from that contract that I didn’t think could be broken by anything other than the Flame of Cognizance. I feel scared not because I’m dying, but because I’m going to answer for my mistakes.

To my surprise, I don’t feel the cold embrace of Hell, but a warm cleansing flame that burns me to my soul. These are the flames of mercy and justice found in Purgatory. Is this truly my reward? Was my confession acceptable? It seems so.

 

The End

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