Sacrifice of the Self: Chapter 4 – Death and Rebirth of Self

Chapter 4 – Death and Rebirth of Self

Altair drives around the wasteland until we stop at city hall. This place is a sprawling cathedral that seems more like a place of worship than politics. I’m sure it looked impressive back in the day when it wasn’t destroyed.

“Do you think members of the true faith are here?” I ask Altair.

“These had the best shelters so they should.”

“They were also the places that were attacked the most during the war and after it because of all the knowledge within it.”

“There’s still a chance that there will be people in it. Maybe we can even find a map of churches that will have shelters.”

“Okay. Let’s try since we have no other options.”

“We’ll check the place out together to see if it’s safe. You guys good staying here by yourself?”

“We’re good. Do you want to bring a weapon with you?”

“No, you know I’m a horrible shot anyway.”

While we walk to city hall, I ask, “They can take care of themselves with those guns?”

“They can, but it’s not like they’re going to shoot first. We have those books that we can offer if someone wants to drop by and cause trouble.”

“But still, I don’t think you have enough ammo if trouble is going to be caused. What does it take to kill a person nowadays? Ten bullets to the body or head?”

“I’m surprised that you know that and it’s ten bullets to the head. It’s going to be fine, Gianna. We’re going to be in and out.”

Going into the city hall, we find ruins and rubble as I expect, and an elevator that doesn’t work. This must lead to the underground shelter so we look nearby and find a staircase that leads down into a basement with a large steel door. The door is open and has claw marks on it.

“This isn’t looking good, Altair,” I say as I look into the shelter that barely has functional lights.

“If no one is here, then we can at least find a map to another church that has a shelter.”

“Eh, okay.”

We go into the shelter and look for a map in the destruction of the shelter. It looks like there must’ve been a fight here with claw marks and what seems to be dried blood on the floor.

“A map is what you want, is that correct?” a voice echoes throughout the shelter.

“Who are you?” Altair asks.

“A teacher from days long past. A leader whose name everyone used to honor including the pope and his bishops.”

“Can you help us find a map to the other churches that have shelters? Do you have one here?”

“I do, but it comes at a price.”

“What’s that price?”

“Answer my questions.”

“Okay, shoot’em at us.”

“Does God hang on a cross?”

“He does.”

“Wrong.” How is that wrong? Maybe it was a trick question and he wanted a specific answer. “The purpose of all mankind is to love and serve.”

“It’s to love and serve God and love one another as yourself.”

“Double wrong.”

Something is wrong about this. Where is this man we’re talking to? I can hear something moving toward us. It sounds like a slithering kind of sound. Is this person twisted?

“No, you’re wrong. Why would the leaders of the past bow to you?”

“Because I knew and still know the real truth.”

“Then why do you think that I’m wrong?”

“I do not think that you are wrong. I’m saying you are.”

“Why? Tell me why I am wrong when I am not the least bit twisted.”

“I am the one asking the questions and I have one more question to ask. Why would I say that the truth is wrong?”

Altair looks like he’s really thinking about the answer while still searching for the map. I keep looking while thinking about the answer too. It feels like I should know it…

“He doesn’t want the truth to be true,” I say to myself.

“Your girl has the right answer. This has bought you some time. Answer this next question for some more. Why would I deny the truth its rightful place?”

“Because you want your falsehoods to be true!”

“That’s one way of putting it, but I wouldn’t call them falsehoods or even deceptions. What is called lies will be the truth. I may be alone, but the public is uninformed. I will be the god of the new truth and humanity will ascend in their twisted nature and rule the earth in spite of God’s will. Here is your map.” A map is thrown at Altair. “You have five minutes before I start chasing you. Use them wisely.”

Altair and I run to the entrance of the shelter and close the large door behind us as best as possible until we feel the heavy banging of the man behind it. His claws seem like they’re going to break through the door so we run as fast as we can.

As we get outside, Altair screams to his family, “Start the truck and get ready! We have trouble!”

His family starts the truck and readies their weapons. I look around to see if the man is chasing us and I don’t see anything. I swear I heard the door breaking open as we exited the building, but I don’t see him. We get in the car and drive off. Did we escape that person? I hope-Is there something crawling on the roof of the truck? A claw coming from the roof of the truck. almost hits Altair who swerves the car in a panic.

“We got uninvited company on the roof of the truck!” Altair says while his family fires their guns through the top of the truck.

A slithery snake-like man falls to the front of the car as we finally see the twisted man who was talking to us. He looks like a snake with his legs fused together. His one arm has two claw-like pincers on them while the other arm has his head on it with jagged teeth and one protruding eye in the front and back of his head.

“He’s here!” Altair says.

Two members of his family shoot the snake-like man in the face to make him fall off the truck and he is run over.

“Whew. This is how it usually was with you before you became a librarian?” I ask Altair.

“Yeah, but I’ve never seen a twisted snake man before.”

“You must’ve lived an exciting life.”

“It sure was and I’m not entirely sure why I left it. If you want, you can join us after you find what you’re looking for in the church.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Why did I say that? This kind of life isn’t for me. I’m better off reading books and learning than action and adventure. The map that we got proves to be worth the risk as the second church we visit is the one with members of the true faith in it that still practice and believe in its teachings. The shelter under this church isn’t as luxurious as the hotel I was at before and looks more like a convent, but it’s better than nothing. Altair and his family talk to the people they know in the church, what they’ve been through, then introduce me to everyone who I tell my own story of getting here.

After a while of relaxing, one of the priests in the group approaches me and asks, “Hello, Gianna. I have to thank you again for helping Altair come back home.”

“Oh, I didn’t really do anything. I just happen to be there when he needed me.”

“It was Divine Providence that you two met.”

“It sure was. Say, do you know where your library is? Also, do you think I can receive the sacraments? That would really help me grow closer in truth, to God.”

“I’ll arrange for you to receive the sacraments and the library is on the top floor. What are your favorite books to read?”

“Non-fiction, theology in specific because I want to know the very depths of truth.”

“Ah, yes. It’s the most important topic to know. What will you do after? Altair has been wondering if you’re going to drive with him and his family to gather knowledge and other people to bring to us and to God.”

“He asked me about that not too long ago and I told him that I’ll think about it. I don’t know. It’s not the kind of life that I see myself living. I’d rather learn and read books.”

“And then what? Are you going to be a teacher?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re going to have to do something with the knowledge and gifts that God gave you. You can’t just keep to yourself.”

“I don’t know. Part of me wants to do something and another just wants to read all day.”

“How about we start by answering this simple question? Who are you and what do you do?”

“I’m a girl that likes to read and look for real truth.”

“That sounds like a person that would fit in well with Altair and his family.”

“But I’m not the kind of person that risks their life for another.”

“You think you aren’t, but God knows you better than you do. Think about the twisted people out there. They think they know truth better than God does and because of that, their bodies have become twisted to reflect the warped state of their soul. If you deny your calling, then you become no different than them. This is what it means to submit yourself to truth, to God. You sacrifice your own opinions and thoughts about what is true and give yourself to God who molds you into the person you are meant to become.”

That’s a lot to hear in a short breath. It makes sense now that I really think about it and remember the things that I read.

“Okay, fine. I’ll find a way to help out and make myself useful in the way that God wants me to.”

“Thank you, Gianna.”

“No, thank you for helping me realize how I’m supposed to see the truth.”

For the next few days, I receive the sacraments and get to know everyone in the church. Surprisingly enough, I don’t feel the need to read or learn more after receiving the Eucharist, which is said to be the Body of God. I guess receiving truth itself in a literal manner is all I really needed. Later, I join Altair and his family in gathering books filled with truth and bringing people to the real truth. It’s a life I didn’t see myself living a few days ago, but this is the truth within me that I didn’t see until truth itself opened my eyes. Now the old me is gone and the real me is living.

The End