Friday, February 5, 2021

Sacrifice of the Self: Chapter 2 – Madness Overload

Chapter 2 – Madness Overload

There are so many books in the back of this seeker’s truck that are filled with false information and stuff that I already know and it even isn’t that rare. I wonder if these seekers are really from a group of information gatherers who are trying to kneecap their competition. It could also be that they’re bringing this common knowledge to places that don’t have it. A third possibility that they’re a group that takes from the rich and gives to the poor. These kinds of groups are rare and it would explain why no one was hurt or killed when they arrived, as far as I know. Their appearance is twisted a bit so it could be true. It doesn’t even matter if any of this is true or not. Once we get to the library and I find what I need, I’ll never see them again.

Speaking about that, we’ve stopped at the library. Huh? They’re taking some of the books out of the truck. Thankfully, they aren’t taking the ones I’m hiding under. I guess they think the rumors of trading books with librarians is true. Hopefully it is, but I doubt it because of how crazy they are about hoarding knowledge. I follow behind the seekers as quietly as I can until we reach the inside of the library where all the books are. The outside of the library may be heavily damaged because of the wars fought over places like this, but the inside is pristine even though I can barely see anything.

The statues don’t have a scratch on them and all the books are neatly organized by genre, author, and the year they were published. I’d make this place my home if I could. Books on medicine, history, and science tempt me to read them, however, I don’t have much time to look through them. Religion is the section I’m looking for since God is the source of all truth. I can already hear talking downstairs so I hurry to the religion section just in case they start trouble.

Woah, this section could almost be its own library with all the books in it. These statues must be of those saints and angels that I’ve heard about. I always thought angels would look more abstract than human. There’s also a cross with what is supposed to be God hanging from it or at least it’s what the book next to it says. I don’t see any Sacred Scripture in here so all I have are books quoting it and the lessons I’m supposed to take from them, which is a decent substitute, I guess. Let’s see what else we have here. Divine simplicity, Purgatory, mortification, and sacraments. What are these things?

Oh! What’s this book? It’s in a section about God. The release date of the book marks it as being fairly recent. Twisted humanity, it’s called and it’s about why people’s bodies become twisted. As a person embraces falsehood, the truth of their humanity is twisted as well and their souls become as twisted as them depending on how twisted their soul is and why. I knew some of this, but I didn’t think about the truth of what it means to be human. Humans were created to love and serve God and to sin is to go against truth and nature. Original sin from our ancestors has weakened our intellects so that we are tempted to sin and go against God while thinking that we are in the right as we make ourselves gods.

Interesting. This seems to be true since my body is reacting positively towards it. Okay, so since this is true, how am I supposed to serve God? The book mentions different commandments and implications within the commandments so I can stay away from the chains of sin and falsehood. I don’t know my role in life other than to seek the truth. It’s not like I have a job, a family, friends, or a home to go back to so I might as well continue searching for more truth. It says here that the sacraments can help me grow closer to God and are used to clean and save my soul. These sacraments have to be carried out in a specific way and by certain people so I can’t just administer them to myself.

This is going to be my goal now. I have to find the remnants of the true faith in order to fully experience the truth and live. I’ve heard rumors about them being hidden underneath churches. If that’s true, then it would’ve been more well know, but since it’s the only lead I have, it’s the first place I’ll have to check. Since I don’t see anyone else around here, I guess I can read some more. There were gunshots that I wasn’t bothered to pay attention to because of what I was reading, but that didn’t last long. Let’s see what else we have here. Recorded miracles, examinations of conscience, no salvation outside of the Church…so many topics to read through. Ah-

I feel an icy cold presence around me. It couldn’t be. Can it be?

“Ah!” I say as long and thin arms begin to wrap around me.

“Shh,” the tall and twisted librarian says from behind me, “You don’t want to attract the others.”

These librarians are really twisted and disturbing to look at with their elongated mouth, eyes, and limbs. I didn’t even hear it coming nor did I notice. I was too entranced by what I was reading and looking at the books around me to see if there was one lurking in the shadows. Its touch feels cold with a strange sense of warmth to it. Its voice also sounds strange and echoey probably because of its strained neck.

“What do you want? I didn’t take anything,” I say to the librarian.

“I know and I don’t care if you do. After reading over the theology books, I’ve come to the conclusion of what I should do. I can’t just stay here and contemplate the endless mysteries of life and the things that these books don’t cover or answer completely. I’m getting out of here and moving on with my life.”

“That’s good to hear, but what does that have to do with me?”

“Librarians don’t like it when people like them touch their books. The others that entered the library with you. They tried fighting the librarians, but I don’t know what happened to their bodies and I don’t want to know especially since the librarian who is interested in medicine and is curious about how the human body operates.”

“So, what are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to get you out safely. They shouldn’t bother with us if they see that I’ve got you and if we move fast.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

The librarian leads me out into the wider library while looking around. It’s strange that I’d get help from it though it might not be so strange since he was in the theology section. While looking around the library myself, I see a librarian walking down one of the aisles. Is that how the friendly one behind me is walking? It walks so stiffly and moves so unnaturally. If I saw the friendly one walking towards me like that, I would’ve run away.

“Altair, you’ve found another intruder?” the librarian says.

“Yes, I’ll be escorting her out myself.”

More librarians gather around us to look at me. Their gaze makes me want to run away. I don’t think I’ll get far if I do and I’m afraid to think about what they’ll do if they catch me. I’m already hearing muffled screaming in the distance from what must be the seekers.

“She doesn’t touch anything, did she? Did she take anything?”

“She didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I see. Well-”

“We should interrogate her. We didn’t see her enter with the others and she doesn’t look like them. Maybe there are more like her around here.”

“Maybe we should experiment on her. Her body is in the closest thing to the form of a normal human body that we’ve seen in a while.”

“Hmm. Neither of those sound like bad ideas.”

“Let me touch her.”

“Let me pluck out her eyes.”

“Let me taste her skin.”

They’re getting closer to me and I don’t know where to go besides backing into Altair behind me. What should I do?

“Stop it! All of you! She’s not some freak that you can experiment on! She’s human like the rest of us!” Altair says as he backs us away from the approaching librarians.

The librarians start reaching for me so Altair picks me up and runs away from them. He runs through the aisles of the library while dropping cases of books that drop on them and get the other librarians to panic and pick up the books. With them distracted, he runs towards the exit and hides us on the side of the library as some of them come running after us. They look around the perimeter of the building and I think they’re going to see Altair, but they don’t so they go back inside.

“That was close,” I hear Altair say.

His voice sounds different now. As I turn around, I see that he looks more human now like me.

“Altair?”

“Yes? What the? I look human again? I’ve heard that some people who become twisted change later after accomplishing some act of redemption, but I didn’t think that it would be true for me.”

“Ah-um. You need…”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

I look through the seeker’s trucks and find some clothes for Altair.

“That’s better,” I say, “Thank you for helping me get out of there. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done either. Librarians don’t like it when you leave the group. I’ve tried that already. Anyways, where are you headed to next?”

“A church that could possibly have the true faith hiding somewhere under it.”

“I could drive you there, but then I need to take care of something important after that.”

“Oh, okay.”

It would be nice not to do this alone, but at least he can drive me to the place I need to go. I’m closer than I’ve ever been to discovering real truth. Not that many people find it and I’ve heard stories about those who do. It’s like going to Heaven and being freed. Here's hoping that it’s some kind of freedom from this dead world that I live in.

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