“In
the beginning was Truth and in truth was authority, consistency, and eternity
because the truth is master over all, is commanding, and always has, is always,
and will always exist. In truth was also sacrifice and charity because the
truth is charitable by nature without the thought of getting anything in return
since nothing can add to the infinite. Love was also in truth because love is a
binding force and gives for the sake of the other. Because of all these things,
creation came forth from the eternal loving truth known as the Absolute. All
were made out of love and all contained truth. After which, there was peace for
a time until the vainglory rebelled from the serviles in one of the first acts
of hatred, and from that, the vainglory lied to mankind, and humanity sinned
and committed their own acts of evil and spread falsehood, their own truths
they wanted to be true for their own sake. Thus began the war between love and
hatred, and the Absolute’s work to reclaim and purify the hearts made by Him.”
Excerpt
from The History of the Beginning inspired by Scripture from the works of True
Alexander of Inquirens, Saint of Scholars and Explorers.
Chapter 1 – Blind Leader
Learning how to be yourself. That’s
the secret to true success in life. To be completely yourself is to be who the
Absolute made you to be and to be yourself is to be what’s called a True or a
saint. My journey to become myself didn’t start until I saw the Circus of Fools
and heard the many songs performed by its two leading clowns that I was
inspired to actually do something with my ability if you can call it that.
Technically, I’m blind, but I do see everything as a series of words that forms
a person, animal, or object. For example, I can look at myself in the mirror
and see the words uncertain, resolute, and searching that comprise my body
among many other words. I also see the words blue on my eyes, tan as part of my
body, and black on my hair. To be honest, I don’t really know what colors look
like, so I have to trust that the words colored blue and tan for example are
those colors, especially since they are a different hue.
Most of my world is colored black
and white, and in words that describe them. People say that I am blessed to
have such a unique sight. To me, it comes with flaws that make it not as
wonderful as it’s made out to be. For
example, people say that I’m blessed to have such a nice room and a good view
of the land, however, my sight is limited so I can’t see the mountains that are
clear from my balcony to a person with normal sight. Instead, all I see ahead
of me is a white void and bits of the city below me that goes as far as the
walls as if I’m stranded on an island. In addition to this limitation of sight,
the words I see in people may tell me about them, but I also have to interpret
these words in the right way. A person described as a courageous person may also
be too brave and get themselves into trouble that they aren’t ready to deal
with. In contrast, a person that has the word fearful as part of them could not
be affected by their fear. Instead, it motivates them to be careful, appreciate
what they have, and make sensible plans for the future.
Despite this glaring limitation, I was brought
to the kingdom of Discretionem by the Church once they learned of my ability. I've
been staying here to learn more about words and how to evangelize to grow this
Heart Absolute ability of mine for the Absolute's purposes. They've also
employed me to help them make decisions by reading the people they talk to and
the books they publish. Falsehood is something that I can see by reading into a
person and what they produce. When it comes to books, I can see words between
the lines such as exaggeration, lie, mistake, or phrased wrong depending on
what the error is. People, on the other hand, are different. I'll see words
such as duplicitous, willfully ignorant, overthinker, or slow on a person.
Deciding on whether or not people like these are trustworthy is relatively
easy, but if they are subtlety sinful, as I have mentioned before, and may not
catch their errors until they reveal more of their plans. Good people who are
either inexperienced or naive are easy to trust and give my approval to, and
yet, they will make some major or minor mistakes in the future that I should've
seen coming.
To be honest, I'd rather trust a
good-natured fool rather than a malicious wise man. A good man will admit to
his mistakes, learn from them, and improve accordingly. In contrast, the
malicious man may hardly make a mistake, but when he does, he'll hardly ever take
responsibility, taint his own works since he does them not for the greater
good, and rot his own heart with his evil deeds causing his own wisdom to
falter in the future. To better summarize my point, a good person is always
honest while a malicious person may or may not be lying to you at any given
moment. I keep going over this point in my head since some of my peers prefer
to trust people I consider to be shady and complain to me when I pick honest
people who mess up. We all mess up and will keep having to learn from our mistakes
until our deaths. It’s a hard lesson to learn when you’re supposed to be
learned and from a prestigious place such as the one I am currently at.
Here at Discretionem, a kingdom of
scholars, historians, philosophers, theologians, and the like, research and help
make decisions for the entire Church. It is said that we are the brains of the Church, and people here pride themselves on being closer to the
Absolute than the others since we are always studying the truth of the world. I
argue against this. You can love the truth simply by living it. I’ve also
already mentioned that we learn from our mistakes until death so learning is part
of everyday life and not confined to those who are stuck in libraries, political
theaters, and theological discussions.
Speaking of theater, I was given a
letter to inform me that I am to vote on who I think should be the next manager
of charity in a neighboring kingdom that focuses on charity along with the rest
of my peers and give a small speech on the reason for it. Along with the
letter, I got two short papers on the history and behaviors of the two managers
and two letters from those under them that endorse their leader. I call it
theater because endorsing one means supporting one ideology that the other is
opposed to rather than just choosing a worthy leader and making this decision
look bigger than it actually is. This is why I like thinking over the
basics again and going over how I got here and the reasons for it. The basics,
the fundamentals of the truth are what really matters in life to help you make decisions
after all and it’s not like we’ll be quizzed at our judgment about how much
truth we know. Instead, our hearts are presented before the Absolute to see if
they are true hearts rather than rotten messes of flesh.
Here's hoping my heart is being
made into what the Absolute made it to be as I look over the two choices and
hope that it doesn’t negatively affect me. I pray that I am given the wisdom to
make the right choice. To get to it, my options are between a jovial man
named Iocari and a more by-the-books one named Firmo. Iocari came into the
business of charity because he grew up poor and has a history of caring for his
family and neighbors. He's been able to distribute food during times of famine
and worked very close to the poor all his life and has even given his food and
made it for others while he hardly ate anything. Despite the hard times he's
been through, he's been able to keep a smile on his face, a light heart, and a
treasure trove of jokes that is said to be infectious since he can put a smile
on the faces of those he encounters with his humor and demeanor. So far, it
looks like he has my vote.
Firmo, on the other hand, is a man
born and raised in an office to be a manager of charity. In contrast to Iocari,
he’s not much of a joker, all business, and hasn’t worked directly with the
poor even though it’s been noted that he’s tried on multiple occasions. He’s
been able to keep the poor he’s cared for well-fed though he’s also made
people starve to let this happen. His supporters have written this off as an
unfortunate tragedy due to the lack of food and shelter at times. However, Iocari’s
story tells me that it could’ve been managed better if he had distributed
everything better. Nevertheless, Firmo has a good record among his peers and
seems to be just as devoted to the Absolute as Iocari is.
It’s at times like this that I wished
I could read a person from their picture, but I can’t read anything either than
their general appearance and descriptions of what they’re wearing in the
picture. These two are going to be at the final decision so it looks like I’ll
have to make my decision then. For now, I read up on them, continue my studies,
and pray. The day of the vote comes and I now see Firmo and Iocari in person.
The words that catch my eyes most on Firmo are resolute, cross-bearer, conservative,
and firm. Iocari has the words traditional, family man, penitent, joyful, and
hard working. Even though these words stand out to me, they tell me nothing new
that I haven’t been able to figure out about these men by myself.
When it’s time for me to make my
decision, I stand up and say, “My choice is Iocari. This is not because I
prefer the kingdom he came from nor the school of thought he learned from or
his origins. My decision simply comes from what I’ve read of him and what my
eyes show me. His charity for strangers, family, friends, and enemies alike is
admirable. He treats everyone as if they were family and this shows us that he
is a true servant of the Absolute as both charity and suffering for others are
the two main pillars of love.”
Everyone around me is silent for
a few moments before continuing the vote. My peers bring up the history and personality
of their chosen leader and also talk about how we shouldn’t let politics and
differences in ideology cloud our decision. By the end of it, Iocari is the
winner. This surprises me a bit, but I guess it shouldn’t because of what I’ve
said and the people like me who can read people and read heart’s have their
votes count for more than those who are simply scholars and politicians. Of
course, there are more of them than us to balance things out. I just expected many
of my peers to vote with them.
I like how one of our leaders says,
“We are all part of the Church and part of the Absolute in our own way. Truth cannot
contradict truth. All our hearts are connected and if we beat out of sync the
body will suffer, so let us continue working with one another with the body’s
best interests in mind.”
This was said in reference to the
arguments between the traditionists, conservatives, and those whose hearts can
read others. Hopefully, we’ll eventually come together and Iocari will do his
best in his new job. It’s also good to see Iocari and Firmo shaking hands and
talking as if they were friends after the vote. As far as I can see, this is
the best thing that could’ve happened and the beginning of some much needed
improvement for Discretionem.
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