Fuck my life.
Sample of: Murder and other things you shouldn't do in public (Prologue + Chapters 1,2)
Welcome to my world
How to start my story how to start my story… It sucks. Well at least for me it sucks. My name is Kane and life really does suck. I’m thirty-five years old and I work as one of the stock guys for a department store. The job pays fine and I do talk to people there and hang out with them outside of work, but that’s all. We aren’t close or anything. I don’t talk to my parents and family and I’m pretty sure they don’t mind. I wasted their money on a college education because I didn’t know what I was doing and because I’m an idiot.
So hoping off of that uplifting intro paragraph I think you have a pretty good idea who I am. My psychiatrist said I should keep a diary so I can figure out what works in my life and what doesn’t, but I can’t afford to see her anymore so fuck writing a diary I’ll just keep it all in my head. Besides I’m not even a good writer and speaking about writers, fuck ‘em. How the hell do these people write these hundred plus page books based on normal life drama, it’s so boring! And what’s with all the wordy descriptions and shit? ‘As the sun was washed away by the night sky, his silky hands touched my skin, which made his intentions obvious to the naked eye. We embraced and I felt a wondrous sensation that cannot be put into words.’ Damn it just say it! He touched my pussy, we fucked, and I came first, what the fuck is so bad about making things simpler to understand? But I guess I’m just too much of an idiot to get it right? Whatever let’s just start this shit. My life or as I like to call it my hell.
Have you ever wanted to be famous? Feel like you want to be wanted? Of course you have. Everyone including people who just want to be left alone have felt this. Next question; what would you do to obtain it? Be nice to people? Sing a song? Write a book? Maybe you sent naked pictures of yourself to someone or have you done regrettable things that you cannot take back? I don’t know if you did since I don’t know you. I’m just talking to myself here. Anyways murder is the only way to get the attention I need. I already said that I can’t write stories let alone songs so that’s out of the question. My personality isn’t much to write home about and I’m nothing someone would really masturbate to so murder is all I have. Besides tons of people have become famous by killing people and I’m not talking about serial killers. Soldiers, police officers, and everyday people are hailed as heroes when they kill horrible people so why wouldn’t they do the same for me? But the real question is, how am I going to kill someone? Maybe I’ll go to the ghetto while listening to the news and wait for something to happen. Yeah…that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll stalk the streets and strike my prey like a praying mantis, which is my favorite insect. I actually really like bugs and…I guess there goes a reason why people think I’m weird.
I go out on one of my days off and walk around during the evening. Some kind of crime is always being committed in this city so something is bound to happen. There was even this one mysterious murderer who had their victims beaten beyond recognition. They never caught the guy or girl or even the weapon that was used, but they think it might’ve been a metal baseball bat. All I have is a pocketknife, which I use at work if I don’t have a box cutter, and nothing to lose, but my life.
Hours pass by until I finally hear about a crime happening around this area. Apparently someone tried to assassinate an officer, but nearby officers discovered the guy and stopped it. The hitman got away, but the police injured him so he couldn’t have gotten too far away. I have to get to him before the police do so I search around the area they are while keeping out of their way. Eventually my search leads me to a building construction site, which looks like the perfect place to hide with the way it looks. Upon investigating it, I find the hitman they the news described on the second floor tending to his wounds. He isn’t facing my direction and doesn’t seem to notice me so this is the perfect scenario for me to kill him. All I have to do is sneak up on him and not attract his attention. My pocketknife might make things messy so I instead grab a nearby pair of gloves to wear so I don’t get my fingerprints on the sledgehammer that is sitting by it. I then slowly approach him with my weapon ready. Yeah, that’s right man. Just keep pulling those bullets out of you and keep trying to fix yourself up cause you’re going to be feeling a lot better soon. I’m right behind him now and he still hasn’t noticed me so…it’s now or never. I close my eyes as I swing the sledgehammer at the man’s head and hear the squishing sound of the impact. As I open my eyes, I see exactly what I’ve done and what I’ve done…is awesome! The guy’s head exploded all over the place like a watermelon. I’m lucky none of it’s on me and even luckier that my plan is working this well so far. Now how to get people to know that this is my doing…I know! I draw a praying mantis on the floor and my initials with the guy’s blood. What a job well done and since no one’s here, I’ll look through this guy’s pockets to see what a killer carries with them. Hmmm an empty silenced pistol, car key, house key, and oh a wallet two hundred fifty dollars in it! I’ll keep that and…what’s this? There are pictures here of a man with his wife, daughter, and dog. These can’t be his can it? I didn’t get a look at the guy’s face, but his skin color is the same as the pictured man. I look through his pockets again to try to find evidence that this man isn’t a family man. Aha!
A letter that says, ‘Hello, I think it is time that you paid back your debt to us. This package contains a loaded silenced pistol that you will use to eliminate a certain police officer. We’ve included his picture and his weekly habits in this package to help you out. We expect to see him dead on the news within seven days. You know that we hate corrupted police officers and you know that we hate people who break their promises even more. Your loved ones are at risk here so do the right thing or else they will disappear. We wish you the best of luck.’
Oh fuck! Oh shit! This guy is just some normal guy forced to kill someone! Oh shit oh shit oh shit what the fuck am I – crap the police are here! I drop the sledgehammer and the man’s belongings and sneak away as the police arrive at the construction site. When I get home I check the news and wait for them to talk about the man I killed.
When they do talk about him they say that he, “tried to kill a high ranking police officer and was killed by an unknown vigilante that left their weapon and their calling card at the scene. Whoever this person is, the police force and all of us here thank you for taking a killer off the street.”
Well fuck your thank you! You didn’t even mention the letter the guy had! Did you even see it? Fucking dumbasses!
On the next day at work, the people I know question whether or not I was the vigilante that was mentioned on the news. I tell them I am thinking this will get my mind off the man’s true motivations, but it really doesn’t. They treat me to a celebration at a pub and at the pub I see two familiar faces crying over the loss of their husband/father. Fuck my life.
At the restaurant where my little “kill” party was at, I got this waitress’s phone number. She sat with us as I described what happened that night and told everyone to keep this a secret. For some reason though, I didn’t tell them about the man’s secret. I guess I was thinking that they’ll hate me.
Anyways that’s not the most important thing anymore. I got a cute girl’s number! She looks like she’s eighteen so she’s way younger than me, but that’s fine with me. I’ve heard of people that like girls way younger. Hell I’ve seen the porn that they masturbate to. Speaking about that, I’ve pretty much seen every single type of porn. You want to know about it? Of course you do, you’re my imagination that I talk to when I’m lonely. There’s the normal kind that most people know of ranging from erotica and normal sex positions to people’s certain sexual fetishes that contain whips, chains, and candles or sex machines for some reason. Then there’s animation containing what I mentioned plus (and I’m not kidding) bestiality, lolicon, scat, vore, inflation, birthing, mind breaking/enslavement, guro, furries, rape, and of course tentacles. Now here is the worst/weirdest of all of it that’s exclusively found on the deep web. Real life child pornography and people who are shown on live videos while being tortured to death. There’s also real life bestiality and scat, but those you could probably find on the surface web (what we see). So you must be wondering why I know all of this and the answer is that I was curious as to how perverted and sick people can be and I got more than I thought I would. Also to be clear that even though I know about the deep web, I haven’t actually been on it. You can easily get hacked on it and it’s said that people will find you and kidnap you and put you into what I just mentioned. Fuck that.
Now what was I talking about…oh yeah! So because I got this girl’s number, I’m going to try to become her boyfriend even though I’m older than her. I call her and we make plans to go out one day. I see her after work and we walk to the shopping mall. Along the way, I talk to her to try to leave a real impression.
“So you never told me what your name is.”
“Oh, I didn’t? It’s Grace.”
“Grace? That’s a pretty name.”
“Hehe, thank you.”
Ok good progress so far.
“So Grace what do you do besides work as a waitress?”
“I go to school and I love watching cartoons and anime.”
“Yeah! And I’m going to make my own after I’m done school.”
“That sounds crazy. I can’t even imagine doing something like that myself.”
“What’s so funny?”
That was weird.
We arrive at the mall and once we get there, Grace buys a bunch a cute stuff like plushies, shirts, and stuff like that. I admit I do buy a few of these things for myself because I’m a fan of what it’s based on which makes Grace laugh for some reason. When I ask her what she wants to eat, she says she wants ice cream, which…isn’t a bad idea. I can dig it, but what I can’t dig is this city. At the food court, someone randomly approaches another and starts beating them up. The other person tries to fight back, but can’t manage to. Grace looks at me, expecting for me to do something…fucking hell. I get up and run towards the attacker, grab him, toss them away, and knock them out in two punches. For some reason, I wasn’t afraid of doing this. Maybe it’s because of what happened the other day or it’s because I’m more afraid of what Grace would say if I messed up. I walk back to Grace who has a big smile on her face.
She hugs me then says, “You’re so amazing Kane!”
“I uh,” I awkwardly hug back, “No problem. Now let’s get out of here. People are awkwardly looking at us.”
People say stuff about as we walk away like; “Aww look at him and his daughter!” “Now that’s how you father your child, lead by example!” and stuff like that. I walk her home and she actually gives me a kiss on the cheek before we say goodbye. Yes! I got more progress than I thought I would. After a couple days, I ask her out again and I wait outside the pub, which is our meeting place. I get there early so I decide to wait outside for her. One of the waitresses walks outside to smoke and she notices me.
“You’re Kane right?”
“I am. Did Grace tell you about me?”
“Yeah. You know you’re an inspiration to her right?”
Someone like me is an inspiration?
“Really? I couldn’t tell.”
“Well you are. She views you as her big brother.”
“Big brother huh?”
“Yep. Did you also know that she’s fifteen years old?”
Fifteen years old?!
“Really? How did she get this job?”
“I pulled a few strings and after I told them her situation, they accepted her.”
“What’s her story?”
“I adopted her off the streets after she ran away from home. Her parents apparently abused her a lot and all she could think to do was run away. I found her one night on the streets and I couldn’t say no to her so I brought her in. I convinced her to go to high school and she took this job to help me out since I’m living by myself. I didn’t ask her to help, but she felt like it was the right thing to do and I couldn’t say no to her yet again.”
WOW! HOLY SHIT!
“She looks up to you because you fought against a killer and a bully, something she couldn’t do. Don’t let her down.”
“I won’t. I promise you that.”
More like a huge problem! How the hell am I going to date a fifteen-year-old girl with a terrible past? Whatever I’ll work this out somehow. Grace is coming this way…who the hell is that kid with her? He looks about her age – Oh shit! They just kissed each other, which means…she already has a boyfriend. They part ways then she approaches me with a smile on her face.
“Hello!” she happily says.
“Hey, was that your boyfriend?”
Her voice cuts out when I hear that. Fucking shit. I kill an innocent man just to come out with no real reward.
“-why? Are you jealous?”
“Yeah, I would definitely date you if you were single!”
Fuck my life.
Fuck my life.