Puritanical Addict: Chapter 1 – An Addict’s Recovery

Chapter 1 – An Addict’s Recovery

When they first arrived, I thought they were a superhero, an answer to my prayers to be saved, but instead, they were just another person who wanted to use me, another punishment sent to make me regret my decisions. The bodies of the people who bought and sold people like me and protected their transactions lay in pieces around me, and my false savior simply stared at me, expecting a prize as if there wasn’t a slaughter around us. This person spoke in a mixed female, male voice, looked more male than female, had stubby horns on their head, and wore torn clothing.

“Clean up. I don’t want to touch used goods,” they said.

They had a strange way of using people with their words, which is why they were able to single-handedly kill so many people. Because of my fear and their power over me, I did as they said. They led me to the showers, where they sprayed me with scorching hot water, gave me a new pair of lewd lingerie, threw me on a nearby bed, and had their way with me. My body has been modified to handle the strength and fetishes of superhumans and the worst kinds of people, but it could hardly handle what happened to me at the time. Reliving the memory of the event in my nightmares is enough to wake me up in a cold sweat.

Everything and everyone around me is cold and frozen in ice. The people stuck in the ice are also burning from a light blue flame within it. I can hear their muffled screams, and can’t do anything to help them. Touching the ice they’re in gives me a burning, freezing feeling, and whatever I try to use to free them melts or breaks upon impact. The cold in the air becomes too much to bear, so I take off my lingerie and put on a long black and grey shirt, skirt, and boots. Looking at myself in the mirror, I see my brown skin, red hair, and green eyes begin to turn grey, white, and dull, and it’s then that I remember why this is all happening. This is all because of my guardian angel.

“I prayed for help, and it finally came,” I say aloud.

In the mirror, I see him, my guardian angel. He’s a figure, robbed in a black cloak with a hood over his head, grey spikey shoulders, one black eye, and one light blue eye. He has no legs, but is somehow levitating without wings, and has a spear-like right arm and light blue flames coming out of his left arm. Turning around, I see him silently looking down at me. Is he going to say something?

“Yes. I will speak to you directly, Tanith,” he says to me.

Can you hear my thoughts?

“I can hear every thought you have, and know the inner workings of your heart and desires.”

You can, can you? Then why haven’t you heard my other prayers? Why did you abandon me to live a torturous life? Oh, that’s right, it’s because it’s what I wanted to do. I wanted this for myself. I didn’t want a life of pain and monotony. I wanted a life of constant pleasure and happiness.

Huh? What’s this voice in my head that sounds like me? Turning my head to where my guardian angel is pointing, I see a floating being who has my face, except it has green and red eyes, a veil covering half its face, a red cloak covering half its body, and is wearing leather straps and fetish wear, like how I used to.

“It is nothing more than a demon that infested you after you gave yourself to the degenerate lifestyle,” my guardian angel says.

“Degenerate?” the demon says in my voice. “How can something that I’ve wanted that’s given me nothing but wealth and endless pleasure be degenerate? Besides, it’s too late to go back now. Remember the price you paid to get further into this life. Your parents wanted you to live a prosperous, faithful, and arduous life that was going to be nothing but pain, suffering, and boring nine-to-five work. You did the right thing in abandoning it and getting involved in those strip clubs and prostituting yourself.”

“It’s never too late to change.”

“Hush. I didn’t get to the best part yet. When your new friends promised you more wealth, pleasure, and freedom, you took their offer, no questions asked. You lured your parents to a place where they were kidnapped, and your friends recorded a video of you defiling them as they cried and prayed for you to stop. I wonder where they are now. Maybe dead. Maybe still being used and sold. Maybe damned and in Hell.”

I don’t know why I did that anymore. It’s like another person was inside me, while I was asleep. It was the drugs they gave me and the addiction I had to the pleasure and high of it all. That was it!

“That’s just an excuse. You wanted that life, and now, you have to get yourself out.”

“Get out of here, slave angel of God. Your ice is ruining everything Tanith has dedicated her life to.”

“Use the power you’ve accepted as part of our deal, Tanith. Use the icy blue flames to resist your temptations.”

“Don’t do it. Why would you want to feel pain and deny yourself? You, and only you, know what’s best for yourself.”

“This is your opportunity to break the chains of sin and lust that have bound you for years. Break the chains and don’t leave one remaining.”

“Let’s not forget what you did to get here and the power you deserve.”

My mind feels like it’s living in a daydream. I see that I’m running away from the abnormal superhuman who was just using me in the dream. I remember this. I had enough of them using me, and wanted my freedom. I ran around the whorehouse, picking up weapons, shooting that freak’s face, bludgeoning it, and killing whoever got in my way. Thanks to them being drugged up and tired from our sessions together, they were weaker than usual, so I was able to get the better of them.

Still, everything I threw at them wasn’t enough to put them down for good, so I took out their legs, took out the drill where my left hand was, and drilled down their throat until they died. By the end of it, I was covered in blood and looked so psychotic that everyone who followed the freak was afraid of me instead, and did everything I was told. I had my way with every one of them, especially the ones who abused me the most. It was the most freeing experience of my life. Because of what I did, I was able to profit from all the drug and sex operations of our group and take as many of our products as I wanted. I was on top of the world, but…still unhappy. Still hungry for more. It’s ruining me! But I still want more!

“Get out of my head!” I say aloud to the demon, who’s influencing my thoughts with its voice.

“Those are your desires speaking to you. Nothing more,” the demon says. “You want more drugs and sex, and there’s nothing that can change that. You’ve already done all sorts of beyond hardcore, degenerate things. Remember those animals? What about those children? How about those snuff films and rape movies you’ve made and profited from? There’s no coming back from that.”

“Shut up!”

Using the blue flame that has replaced the drill in my left hand, I burn myself with its icy touch. The demon screams out, and its appearance disintegrates, making it look like a decayed corpse version of me. Still, it refuses to go away.

“What? Did you want to make me disappear or kill yourself? I know that both are true,” the demon says before laughing. “You won’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll be with you until the day you die.”

I turn to my guardian angel, who says, “It’s true. It’s your burden, punishment, and your penance.”

“How am I supposed to be a better person if I have this demon and these temptations always with me?”

“Let your failures and the temptations remind you of the evils of sin, and the constant reminder of your reliance on God, who you can do no good without.”

“This is the same thing your parents said, Tanith. You remember what good it did to them. Remember how you failed your college classes, wasting your time and money, and despite your family’s support, you knew that you’d never be able to pay off your debts or get a job you really wanted.”

Again, I burn myself with the blue, icy flames. This time, the demon hangs its head and doesn’t say anything else.

“There is a way to suppress the demon and make up for what you’ve done. Through our deal, you will become a better person, and who your parents thought you could be,” my guardian angel says.

I’ll do whatever you want. I just want out of this life, and I don’t care what I have to. I’ve already done so much that nothing will phase me.

“I know. That is why you will use your powers to expunge the corpse of the city you’re in of demons and deviants. I will help you along the way, especially with the demonic.”

Come on, let’s get it done before that demon wearing my face wakes up. My guardian angel agrees. As I leave the room, I see the demon fidget, so I run out of the icy house. Looking back, I see the demon staring at me with a smile on its face. I can hear it laughing in my mind. There’s no real escape from it, but I will break the chains it has over me. Knowing what I’ve done, I know I deserve to live with the consequences of my actions until I die. Still, my parents believed that as long as someone is alive, there’s a chance they can be saved, and I hope to prove them right. Your prayers are being answered, Mom and Dad. I hope I can make you proud for once in my life.