Child of Sin, Adopted by Grace: Chapter 1 – Struggling Against Sin

Chapter 1 – Struggling Against Sin

C’mon! I confessed my sins already! Can these snakes recede from me any slower?

“The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.” At Fr. Virgil’s words, the snakes recede from my mouth and the back of my head and return to their positions at the sides and top of my head. I wait a couple of seconds to see if there’s any change in my body, but nothing happens.

“Is something wrong, Varena?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, father. I was just seeing if my body would change to a human form rather than staying as it is in this lamia one.”

“You shouldn’t worry about it. It is out of our control and is in the hands of God. Besides, it is common for us serpentmen to stay in it for a while, and as you can see, I am in the same form as well.”

You’re also a priest and not really meant to complain to God about anything. “Thank you, again!” After leaving the confessional, I go to the chapel and say the prayers that were given to me as my penance and also look up at the serpent that’s nailed to a cross. It shows our God and what He’s done for us to save our souls. Most people say it’s a grim sight and some have even said that it moved their soul to convert and abandon their sinful lives. There’s a long line for confession filled mostly with lamia and the molted, which are people with snakes coming out of their mouths like I did.

A person becomes molted when they let their temptations take hold of them. These snakes are so annoying that they make me want to tear them out of my head, but since that would kill me, I have to deal with them bending and twisting my emotions and thoughts. They recoil at the sight of the cross and being in a church while my heart and soul are calmed by it. I wish this calming feeling would last forever, but since I have to go back home, I leave the church and head back into the busy and bustling world.

When I get back home, I see my mom taking care of the jewelry shop that our house is a part of. “I’m back.”

“Welcome back!” my mom says while hugging me. “I’m glad to see that you’re back to your normal self. Let your dad see you. He’s still worried despite what I told him.” My mom is one of the few human serpentmen in the town and it’s always weird to me seeing her legs and her tail. Going into the back, I see my dad creating jewelry.

“Varena!” my dad says as he drops what he’s doing on the floor. “I’m so glad to see that you’re back to normal!”

“There’s no reason to worry, dad. You don’t have to get so worked up after every time I sin.”

“Yes, I do, because I don’t want you turning out like I have. I want you to be more like your mom.”

“I’m sorry that I’m not. That change still hasn’t happened with me.”

“That, I won’t worry about. It’s all in God’s time, not ours. We both have to wait for that.” My dad’s appearance is that of the deity form of the serpentmen, which is the result of completely giving in to sin. Because we live in a God-worshipping town, people look down on serpentmen who look like him and he has to stay out of view while my mom and I sell the jewelry he makes. “Here, take this jewelry to the front.” When I go up to my dad, he hugs me. “I’ll always love you, Varena. No matter what you look like or how you act. Please, never forget that.”

“I love you too, dad.” I take the necklaces, bracelets, and arm bangles into the store, put them in their proper places inside the display cases, and help my mom sell them to the customers.

“I’m here for my pickup,” Trista says while entering the store as if she were a VIP.

“Let me find it. It’ll only take one moment.”

“Hurry up. You were supposed to have it ready for me as soon as I arrived. I need it for something important.”

“I’m sorry. Ah! Here it is!” I say while handing over the bag with over a dozen pieces of jewelry in it. Trista hands over the gold as payment for the jewelry and immediately leaves.

“Bye.” And good riddance. I can’t stand that girl. Mom and dad deal with her because they are friends with her family and they buy a lot from us. Looking over to mom, she smiles and nods as if understanding my pain and congratulating me for dealing with her. They’ve always said that maybe one day we’ll be friends, which I doubt. Another customer I recognize comes in, one who isn’t painful to deal with.

“Good afternoon, Varena.”

“Hello, Piaras. What can I help you with today?”

“Just browsing around. I saw Trista come here. I held back and waited for her to leave before coming in. Did she cause you any trouble?”

“Not any more trouble than she usually causes.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do anything to help. I’m surprised I don’t see her at confession more often because of her attitude.”

“That’s fine. We can only pray for her. At least that’s what they tell us to do.” God knows that only a miracle can change her personality.

“Right. Well, I better get going. My brother is going to work soon and it’ll be my turn to take care of my parents next.”

“Before you go, you can take this with you to give to your mom as a gift,” my mom says before giving Piaras a necklace.

“Thank you so much! My mom will appreciate it and my dad will be in your debt. He’s been wanting to get jewelry for my mom.”

My mom and I say that there’s no debt at all. He says goodbye and we say goodbye as well. It’s a shame we can’t do more for him. His older and younger siblings have to take care of their sick and dying parents despite being so young.

“Hello,” Selestine says while slithering in.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“The better question is, how can I help you? Does your dad still need prayers so that he can shed his sinful form?”

“Um, yes, but we’re already praying and making penances for him.”

“Hmm? Are you saying that you don’t need my prayers? I can get penitents in the church to pray for you and your family so that you may be bestowed with many more graces than you can obtain on your own.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean. We would like you to pray for us and ask others to. It’s just that we’ve done that and nothing has been happening so far.”

“Well, God rewards those who are persistent in prayer.”

“Yes, I know that.”

“Maybe you don’t know it as much as you think. Have you gone to confession recently?”

“Yes, I just went today and I go every week.”

“Good job. Keep it up and you’ll only have to go to confession once every month just like me. I’ll be sure that you and your family are prayed for.”

“Thank you.” Selestine slithers through the store asking people the same things he asked me with some people being asked specific questions relating to being at church more often or the weekly tithe. Speaking of which, my mom gives a pricey piece of jewelry to Selestine in lieu of gold for our tithe to which he gratefully accepts it.

He’s almost as annoying as Tristine even though I’m sure he’s not trying to be. The guy is only trying to be as pious as his father who is a married deacon, but sometimes, it feels like he’s just a virtue tax collector, especially when he always tells us to act better and give more. He acts like he’s an example of virtue despite being a lamia like most other people and isn’t the least bit human like my mom is. Thankfully, someone who I’ve been waiting for finally enters the store.

“Hello! I’m sorry I kept you waiting, Varena,” my boyfriend Zidane says. I quickly slither over to him and kiss him while wrapping the tail end of my body around him.

“Hehe, come on now. People are watching and you’re supposed to be working.”

“Hehe, I don’t care what they think. Besides, I’ve been waiting for you all day. The princess and his holiness already came here and were spoiling my day.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t let them bother you. They’re not bad people. It’s just that they have a lot of responsibilities and can unintentionally act out.”

“If you say so.” I unwrap myself around Zidane and we slither over to the counter.

He tells me about his day helping his parents make clothes and cooking food for the customers. Zidane’s upbeat attitude and positive outlook are a ray of light that I look forward to every day. I try to enjoy every moment of it and hope he marries me one day so that we can spend every moment of every day together. Because of how much I treasure these daily moments, it makes it all the more aggravating when someone outside of the shop throws a rock through the window.

Quickly going outside, I see a group of three people yell at the shop and me about leaving the town because my dad used to be a terrible sinner. I don’t even want to argue with them. I just want to cut their throats with my claws and be done with them since this isn’t the first time that people have either damaged our shop or told us to leave because of my dad.

“If you’re going to pick a fight with them, then you’re going to have to fight me too. Why do you think you’re better than them when you’re molted and your temptations are controlling you?”

Oretta, another friend of mine, come to our defense by throwing stones at our bullies. “If sinners should be stoned, then you should be the first to have rocks thrown at them. Leave them alone!” More people come to our aid and the ones that were bothering us spit on the ground before leaving.

Here, I was wishing they’d start a fight so we could really teach them a lesson. “Thanks for your help, Oretta.”

“Anything for a friend. Hey, how about we really teach those bullies a lesson so they’ll never mess with your family again?”

“That does sound like a good idea.” Yes, revenge and getting justice sounds good.

As ideas of violence and embarrassing those people fill my mind, the temptations follow and tell me to give in. Still, are these temptations or is it my conscious speaking? Perhaps I could just get justice and not be too violent so that I don’t fall into sin.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea, Oretta. Violence isn’t always the answer. Look at Varena. Her temptations are influencing her.”

“As her boyfriend, you should be more willing and active to stand up for your girlfriend and make sure that no one hurts or discriminates against her. Varena, if you ever want to get justice or need a friend to talk to, I’m always all ears. I’ll be back home if you need me, and here, for the jewelry that I’m here to pick up. My family has also included a generous tip because we appreciate your dad’s work and want to show our thankfulness despite not being able to buy as much as some other people. This should help pay for the broken window.”

“Thank you. I’ll get your order and consider your offer.”

While in the store, Zidane takes me aside and asks, “You can’t really consider hearing her out. She has good intentions and all, but she’s prone to violence and making rash decisions.”

“Yeah, well, at least she understands my frustrations.”

“I understand your frustrations too. My dad was a deity serpantman like yours and my family faced discrimination because of it.”

“The keyword is ‘was’ a deity. Your dad is in human form now along with your mom and your family is more accepted in this town than mine is.”

“But you can still talk to me and help you.”

“But I want someone else’s point of view now. I’m sorry.” After giving Oretta the bags and boxes that contain her orders, I agree to come with her. When I look back, I see Zidane talking to my mom. Looking at him makes me want him to understand me better. Maybe that will happen later in our lives.

When I get to Oretta’s house, her two parents greet me and offer me food and conversation as if I were their own daughter. They’re very nice people though they can be a bit too energetic for my liking. Oretta and I slither up the side of her house and sit on top of the roof where we can watch the sunset and the town around us close up shop for the day. The sight of seeing everything is enough to calm me down a bit. “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Oretta.”

“It’s my pleasure. I know Zidane didn’t really want you to talk to me, but that’s okay too. Sometimes you need someone else to talk to.”

“Yeah…”

“Hey, cheer up. We’re here to talk about getting justice for you and your family, and we’re going to get it today. Here’s my plan. I know where Trista and her friends meet and I know that they have something to do with these people that constantly bother you. Let’s go over and…tell them how we feel, so to speak.”

I giggle at the implication and what could happen and agree with Oretta’s plan. We go over to a place in town where the richer people and those who have influence live. It’s like a vacation resort here with invaluable statues, water fountains, and gardens that are constantly maintained by servants who work until the sun goes down, and luxurious hotels where merchants stay before selling their products in the marketplace or making deals with others like them. The place that Oretta leads me to is a parish hall next to a church all of which look more ornate than the church I go to as if the archbishops meet here.

When we go to an open window, I see several faces that I recognize who are people who have discriminated against my family in the past. I want to head in and give them a piece of my mind and claw, but Oretta stops me to see what they’re talking about. Along with the other people in the room are Trista and Selestine, which doesn’t surprise me.

“I don’t care what excuses you have for breaking their windows and publicly criticizing them. It won’t get rid of them nor will it help us in the long term, especially since Varena’s parents are friends with mine and we mutually enrich each other. Now, leave us be.”

“And go to confession, of course.” After reluctantly apologizing and promising it won’t happen again, the others leave the hall. Oretta and I are out of the way and in the dark so they shouldn’t see us as they leave.

“You don’t need to remind everyone about going to confession all the time.”

“Um, yes, I do. It’s my responsibility to remind people to go to confession after they sin. Speaking of which, you need to go soon. You may be rich in possessions, but you are poor in virtue.”

“Uck. I know, but I’m too busy right now. Why don’t you bother someone else like…like Varena and her boyfriend?”

“Zidane is an upstanding and faithful servant while Varena does try to confession and be faithful, from what I can tell.”

“Alright, I’m tired of listening to them talk. I’m heading in.” I go through the window with Oretta behind me and we surprise both Trista and Selestine.

“What are you doing here, Varena and Oretta? Were you listening to us this entire time?”

“I’m here because I know you know those people who keep bothering me and my family!”

“And I’m here to support her!”

“You’re usually up to no good, Oretta. Why are you actually here and how did you know we meet here? Have you been following us around? What kind of sinful plans do you have?”

“Like I said, I’m only here to support my friend, and as to how I know you meet here, let’s just say a friend told me.”

“Don’t change the subject, Selestine. I want both of you to tell your friends to stop bothering me and my family or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Or…or else I’ll give them a reason.” The temptations to start a physical fight begin to enter my mind and give me reasons as to why I should.

“We have nothing to do with those people who keep bothering you other than just knowing them.”

“And yet, you don’t take any steps to stop them other than telling them not to. You might as well wag your finger in their face like you do with everyone else.”

“It’s all we can do. We’re not their parents nor anyone that has any authority over them. You’re wasting your time being here and wasting my time by bothering me with your stupid demand.”

“My demand isn’t stupid because it concerns my family!” I say while getting up in Trista’s face.

“Get out of my face! You have no right to act like this towards me when my family keeps yours in business!” Trista pushes me away from her and that’s when what remains of my patience snaps.

I push her back and cut at her face with my claws and before I know it, Oretta is getting involved while Selestine has trouble separating us. Seeing as how he can’t stop us from beating up Trista, he calls for help that soon arrives. A couple of priests and church service cleaners physically separate Oretta, Trista, and me, scold each of us, and tell us to come back tomorrow to confess our sins and do penance by apologizing and cleaning up around the parish. I can’t say no to them, so I agree and they let me go back home first, since Trista and Oretta are arguing with the priests and justifying their actions.

I feel bad about getting Oretta in trouble as it never crossed my mind that we might despite knowing what I wanted to do. As for Trista, I don’t feel nearly as bad until the thought of her actual involvement with the people who bully me and my family starts to dawn on me. She really didn’t have anything to do with them and she even told them to stop from what I heard.

When I go back home, I try to hide evidence of what happened from my face, but I’m unable to hide how upset I am and the scratches I got from Trista and have to explain what happened to my parents and Zidane who is still with them.

“It’s okay. It’s good to see that you’re at least remorseful and willing to make amends.”

Not really knowing what to say, my dad holds me. Because of his deity form, I can never really tell what he’s feeling by looking at his face other than when he nods or moves his head in different ways. In this hug, I can tell for sure that he’s being supportive and understands me.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop you before it happened. I’ll try to next time and help you more from now on.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” My family, Zidane, and I have dinner together before the day is over. When the morning arrives, it feels like I have to physically force myself to get up and drag myself over to the church where Trista is. It gets even harder when I see her and she’s not even looking at me like usual. She’s already confessed to the priest, so after my confession, as part of our penance, we both are told to apologize to one another.

“I’m sorry for attacking you, Trista. I was angry with the people who were coming after my family and let my anger take it out on you.”

“Why take it out on me though?”

Did she really just ask why-no, no. I’m still at fault. “It’s because…you annoy me a lot with your attitude.”

“I hear that a lot, especially from my friends and parents. I guess it must be true then. Um…I’m sorry. I have an attitude because I’m constantly busy and dealing with a lot. My parents expect the world of me and I have no choice but to try to live up to their expectations.”

“I get it. My parents expect me to be on my best behavior, especially my dad who wants me to be better than he was.”

“I meant that they wanted to see me succeed in everything I do, but my parents also want me to be a virtuous person. They yelled at me yesterday for what I did. They actually don’t get as angry at me when I mess up at work or in art and music competitions now that I think about it. Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll ever change.”

“I don’t know how I’ll ever get rid of my frustrations either. How…how about we learn together?” I say while holding out my hand.

Trista looks at my hand and back at me before hesitantly shaking my hand. “Yeah, I guess, but this doesn’t mean that we’re friends.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Oops. Didn’t mean to be so dismissive and sound so relieved to hear her say that.

“What? Are you saying that you’d rather not be my friend? Our parents are expecting us to get along.”

“Oh, so do you want to be friends?”

“Sure, whatever. We’re friends now. I’m sure our parents will be proud.”

“I’m so glad to see that you two are starting to get along,” Selestine says as he interrupts our conversation. Trista and I both tell him to shut up before laughing and he starts telling us about not being rude and how it can lead to sin, but we ignore him.

“Guess we better start on our penance.”

“Yeah, where’s your friend, Oretta? She should be here to help because I don’t want to be here forever.”

“Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen her since last night.”

“I’m actually here to ask about that too, but I guess no one knows where she is. Her parents and neighbors are looking for her after she ran away from home because they reprimanded her. Right now, they think she’s with her friend who she’s been visiting and who I think told her where we meet, but that’s just my guess.”

“Well, I hope she’s fine and gets here soon. I have to apologize to her too and her help is needed now.”

“You should be worrying about doing your penance rather than trying to get it done as soon as possible. I’ll be helping Oretta’s parents find her.”

“What are you waiting for then? Get to it!” Selestine agrees with Trista because Oretta may be in danger and heads out. “Thank you, God, he’s gone. He can be so annoying, but then again, who am I to speak?”

I agree and Trista and I start cleaning the parish while talking to one another. To be honest, I never expected that I would ever talk and laugh with her as friends. In my mind, it would’ve taken years, but in reality, it took a moment. Another miracle happens as I catch Trista smiling for more than a second as if she’s enjoying cleaning and talking with me. Believe it or not, I could get used to this. I hope that I can continue to be friends with her and that Oretta is eventually found so that she can see this side of Trista that neither of us thought existed.