Chapter
3 – The Fifth Sorrowful Mystery
At this moment, I’m not sure if I’m
still seeing things or if what’s in front of me is. It’s the city that I used
to call my home. Most of the buildings were made ages ago in humanity’s
futuristic past. My teachers told me that this place used to light up like the
night sky when electricity was able to flow through it. When I was here, the
only things that lit it up were torches and magically lit lamps. Even so, it
was only a fraction of what it once was, and now, it looks to be even less than
that because the entire place is in ruins.
Echoes of my memories here play in
my head and my legs automatically head in the direction of home. It’s then that
I realize that it’s where I want to go. I want to go home, see my parents and
friends, and act as if the hundreds of years I’ve been living were nothing more
than a long nightmare. Of course, when I get home, I find that no one is there
waiting for me and the interior of it is completely different. Oh, that’s
right. I allowed someone else to buy it because I lived on the other side of
the world and didn’t care for the house anymore. Now, I wish I had kept it even
if I was seldom ever going to enter it again.
Since there’s nothing left for me
here, I walk toward the next place and feel myself being guided to the nearby
cathedral. The echoes I’m hearing and seeing change from my own to that of a
man carrying a cross. Am I seeing what God saw when He was about to be
crucified? It seems that way as I hear people mocking me and asking me to save
myself. The people around me spit on me while the others behind me whip my
back. Amid the crowd, I see the kind face of Mother Mary, and even though it is
a comfort to see her, it pains me to see her in such sorrow.
By the time I make it to the
cathedral, I’m crawling on the ground and profusely bleeding. Still, I push
myself forward until I reach the altar and fall flat on my face. There’s
silence for a moment until I’m lifted into the air and my arms and legs are
stretched out just as Jesus is on the cross in front of me. This is it. This is
the moment that my spell over the world breaks. I don’t even care if I die
after this. I just want it all to end.
“Do you think it’ll be that easy?”
a voice says in my head.
“God suffered on the cross for six
hours before He died.”
“Do you think you’ll get off that
easily after all you’ve done?”
I start to cry and then scream out,
“Just end it already!”
“Ah, there’s the anger against God
that we know and love.”
“Let your rage seep out even more.
You don’t deserve this fate.”
“You deserve a throne, even if it
is one in Hell.”
After restraining myself, I say, “I
deserve nothing. Less than nothing. Even suffering like this for God and the
world is excessively merciful.”
“You are scum, unworthy of mercy.”
No one is worthy, but He still
suffered and died for us.
“You are a depraved traitor and
have been all your life.”
And yet, God has given me an
unending amount of second chances.
“After all this time and even at
this most important moment in your life, you are at our mercy.”
I should’ve expected to be tempted
till my last breath. If anything, it’s a good sign. The temptations I’ve been
facing all my life repeat over and over again along with the mockery of the
demons.
“You can save yourself with a
single word.”
In response, I pray the same
prayers over and over again until I get beyond tired of repeating them. I then focus
on offering my pain as my prayer. Hanging here feels as if I am feeling the cost
of every sin and sorrow done against God across all time.
“Into your hands, I trust my spirit,”
I say.
Suddenly, it becomes quiet, thanks be
to God. This deafening silence becomes bothersome as I remember that
temptations are a sign that I am close to God, but I try not to let it bother
me. A darkness then envelops everything around me except the cross with Jesus
on it. As I look at it, the statue’s skin turns from the materials it was made
of to flesh as it comes to life.
“Is…is it done?” I ask.
“It is done,” God says.
A wave of relief washes over me,
and yet, the overwhelming pain hasn’t faded.
“What now? Am I dead or something else?”
“You are dead, but you are alive in
spirit and a special place in Purgatory because of your sins and the magic
required to break the curse you put on the world. You will hang on your cross
with Me until all your sins have been paid to the last penny. Only then will
you join Me in Heaven.”
“I see. I didn’t expect to get off
easy and I guess this is the best I could get after all I did.”
“You will join Me sooner than you
think. Look.”
My eyes are drawn to something
below me as I look at my dead body near the altar I was at. Jude is holding my
body while he and the Church’s faithful pray for me. Something above me gets my
attention as I watch everyone I’ve ever known praying for me in Heaven. As this
is happening, much of my overwhelming pain becomes easier to bear and I slowly
move closer to God. Even though this wasn’t the end I wanted for myself and I didn’t
live as happily as I wanted, this was all for the best. I see that now while
looking into the gentle face of God who seems to be pleased that I accomplished
what I had to do.
He reaches out to me and I reach
out to Him in return. I can feel the joys of Heaven as I grow closer to Him,
and in those joys, I feel a happiness greater than anything I can ever imagine.
I was never going to get the happiness I wanted in life because God always had greater
happiness in store for me in Heaven, to be with Him forever.
The End
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