Useful Suffering

 

A quiet, friendly American suburban town and a good job. What else could a guy ask for? My family moves into the famous Langenacht, which resides in the middle of the United States with not a city in miles. Despite that, this place is known for being one of the top producers of materials and food because of its unique natural environment that cannot be found anywhere else on earth. This place is known as the living embodiment of the American dream as a result. A true place where one can work, be free, and be happy.

As for me, I’m finally working my dream job. I work for the Catholic Church writing books and teaching people in a library about stories and their many elements such as the lessons they can teach and how entertaining they can be. Thanks to the generosity of the Church, I was able to buy a building from them that they were going to close since not too many people in the town are Catholic. The only catch is that I have to take care of it, pay my bills, and keep my door open to allow the priests and nuns access to the adoration chapel in the basement, which is another bonus to having this place. My video games, anime, and figures do weird out the priests a bit, but they attribute it to a quirk of my generation since they aren’t sinful things. After getting everything I have settled, I start a bit on my books, so I have something new to present along with my old work then rest for the remainder of the day.

What sounds like screaming wakes me up in the middle of the night. Four of my teeth then start to bother me along with a pang of hunger. I’m not sure a hunger for what, but it includes a temptation for what I’m weakest for. My four teeth that bother me then grow the length of a finger before I start to scream out to release a tension out of me. Who is banging at my door and my windows? I can’t tell what’s going on. It’s so dark and I’m so confused. I can only resist my temptations to do anything and try to go back to sleep.

Ah! They didn’t exaggerate when they said that you get a good night’s sleep in this town. I don’t know what it is, but I had the best sleep in my life. Maybe it’s because I know I have God in my basement. Anyways, after eating breakfast and getting my things, I go to work. This feels like the first day of something great.

At work, I give my introduction and talk about my stories to aspiring and practicing writers. They seem impressed and they’re easy to work with. After the talk, I hand out signed copies of my book and then go to the library to work on organizing stock and selling and giving people books to rent. While in the library, I think I see a familiar girl who I could swear that I know. Maybe she was from high school?

A fellow worker says, “She’s usually here every day to look for something to read and for the coffee.”

“Okay? And?” I say.

“And I see you have your eyes on her. Why don’t you talk to her?”

“I might…tomorrow.”

“You gave a big speech about the importance of writers and your personal struggles with writing and you won’t go up to a girl and talk to her?”

“Right. I’ll talk to her later.”

“Coward.”

“Hey, I like to be strategic about things like this. Make our first meeting storybook-like.”

“What’s more storybook-like than meeting your spouse to be at the library?”

“Hmm.”

“Remember that someone will talk to her if you won’t.”

“Okay, okay. You can stop being so nosy now.”

Where’d she go? Oh, she left the library. Hopefully, I’ll have the strength to talk to her tomorrow. When I get home, I work more on my next book. For some reason, I feel more tired than usual as the sun begins to go down and it starts to get dark. Because of this, I relax for the rest of the day by playing video games and having videos playing in the background. Part of me wants to keep working but working while I’m too tired to keep going has never done me any good so I’ll get the rest done tomorrow.

What’s happening now? Four of my teeth are growing as long as fingers as if I’m becoming a vampire and my temptations to sin begin to grow. Didn’t this happen last night? Why didn’t I remember that? There’s banging at my door and windows again, but I’m afraid to see what’s going on, so I retreat to the adoration chapel in the basement where I’m surprised to find a priest kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament.

“What are you doing here?” I ask the priest.

“You’re supposed to let us in to use the chapel, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right, but still, what are you doing here this time of day? I don’t remember you coming in.”

“I like coming in on nights like this. It’s a sacred place that mostly keeps the sinners out.” Speaking about that, I can hear people breaking and coming into the building. They then come downstairs and start screaming outside of the door while trying to break it down.

“Who are those people trying to break in?”

“Holy things will keep them out.”

“Holy things such as the things here and my necklace and bracelets?”

“Things such as those can slow them down, but not keep them out.”

“So then, what do we do?”

“I’ve heard you’re a faithful man. Converted quite a few people with your books and trying to help others do the same.”

“Okay, and?”

“So, now it is time to ask God for His help.”

I do as the priest says just as the door breaks open. Waking up in my bed after a good night’s sleep and dream makes me want to go back to sleep. Last night, I was dreaming of cuddling next to a girl of my dreams. Before I go out to work, I check every window and lock in the building since I forgot to do it yesterday, find that everything is okay, and then leave to go to work at the library. There, I see the girl again. This time she’s having coffee at the café and reading a new book. I can already see my coworker looking at me from the corner of my eyes so I approach her.

I say, “Hello, my name is-”

“Oh my gosh, it’s been years since I last saw you,” she says as she gets up to give me a hug. “How have you been, besides being the big new author in town?”

“I’ve been doing good. This is a really nice town. It’s like a dream come true coming here and getting the job that I did.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Everything here is why I moved here from the city.”

I should’ve also said that it’s a dream come true to see her again but I could try saying that another time.

“Yeah, I don’t miss being there though I do miss you.”

“I’ve missed you too. Will you be working here from now on?”

“I will.”

“That’s great. We’ll basically get to see each other every day since I always come here in the morning.”

That’s probably the best part about being here. For the next few minutes, we make small talk about our jobs and what we’ve been doing since we last saw each other. To be frank, I don’t remember most of it since I was captivated by her smile and seeing her again, but it was nice while it lasted. I was so captivated by her that I forgot to ask her for her number before she left. I’ve also forgotten to ask her if the name I have in my head of her is correct since it’s been so long and there was no real appropriate time to ask for clarification on that. That’s okay since I’ll see her tomorrow. I’ll just ask her then.

Before going home, I go to a party near a Catholic Church with my parents. This party is to celebrate the parish’s founding anniversary and hundreds of years of hard work. A restaurant bar on the nearby corner, who are friends of the parish, supplies the food and the parishioners help set up the stage, table, chairs, and food stands in the parking lot and outside of it. I stay at the party until the sun begins to set around six thirty since I have to finish the next chapter of my book for a fun book workshop happening on Sunday and because I want to get up early for the seven-thirty mass. After saying bye to family and coworkers at the party, I go home and get to work.

Just like yesterday, I start to get tired while writing, but I manage to get the chapter done by ten thirty. It is then that I remember what also happened last night and just like then, I begin to feel four of my teeth begin to grow and my temptations towards my weaknesses begin to grow, however, there’s no banging at my doors and windows. What happened must’ve been a bad dream since there would’ve been clear signs of damage on the windows and doors. After saying my nighttime prayers, I go to sleep and then wake up around six in the morning so I can get done my morning prayers before going to mass while being dressed in my Sunday best.

Huh. It still looks dark outside despite it now being a little after seven. It’s like there’s a dark crimson fog that’s overtaken the town. I also still feel my four teeth trying to grow and a weakness to certain sins. This feeling will hopefully disappear just like it does every day. In my free time, I should also look up this weather condition since I’ve never seen anything like it.

Despite the crimson fog, I can see the tables and stands outside of the church’s parking lot. That’s strange since I thought they would’ve had this cleaned up for the morning masses. It’s a good thing I didn’t drive here so I don’t need to worry about parking. Still, I have to go through the still operating restaurant bar that’s serving customers. I didn’t know they served breakfast this early in the morning and these many people were out for it. Maybe I should ask my parents or that girl I like to try it out.

“Hey, where are you going?” a guy at the bar asks me.

“I’m going to the morning mass,” I say while cutting through the restaurant.

“Wait, a second!”

“Sorry, I got to rush!”

I want to be early so I have enough time to pray and sit in silence for a bit. Wait, what’s going on here? In the parish’s parking lot, there are a lot of people that seem possessed since their eyes are white and they’re just standing still. Around me, I can see blood and pieces of bodies and in the darkness, I can see people tearing each other apart. I can even see my parents in this darkness, but they also seem to be possessed since they are unmoving. As I catch sight of them, they are quickly torn apart by something in the darkness that they turn into some kind of goat monster with mouths for eyes and mouths on different parts of its body like the palms of its hands, its legs, chest, and arms. It leaps into the sky with a terrible screech that sounds like someone suffering in deep pain though that could be a scream from the people here.

“Run towards the church!” I hear someone say in the dark.

I’m already blindly running through the dark, so I do as the voice says. Part of me is also tempted to lick the blood off the floor and suck the blood from the body parts that I see on the ground. It feels like I’m putting myself in a near occasion of sin by being here and smelling the blood, which smells delicious to my mind for whatever reason. After a while, the four teeth that have been bothering me grow to a finger’s length, and because of this, I feel like I have to scream into the night, so I do.

“Hurry into the church!” I can hear someone say.

It sounds like the bartender. All of this around me is probably why he wanted me to wait.

“Why is this happening?” I ask.

“A curse allowed by God because of people’s constant want to overwork themselves. It’s too much to explain now. Just know that holy things limit the vampirism within people and that an unbitten neck from a pure soul like you is a delicacy to these people so hurry into the church already!”

“Okay, okay!”

Going into the church, I find that it’s not completely a church as I find an underground school. Here, I also find two teenage kids in their school uniforms complaining to their teacher who look like they’re going to kill her. I don’t know why but I want to interfere with them so I do and headbutt one of them.

“Why don’t you respect your teacher, punk?” I say to the kid I headbutted.

For some reason, my vampire teeth retract and I can see the kid that I headbutted teeth have retracted as well until he gets in my face, which makes his teeth grow again assumingly because he's being aggressive and wants to kill me.

“Why don’t you mind your business, smooth neck?” he responds.

Okay, this was a bad idea.

“It’s time to get back to class, boys,” the teacher says before turning to me. “You, get into the church. You’re going to miss mass. It’s what you came here for, right?”

“Right, but don’t you-”

“I know how to teach children like this, so don’t worry about me. Worry about your own neck.”

The teacher quickly walks away while dragging the two students away with her by the collar. What is this place and why are the kids in school at this hour? Probably sent here by their parents who don’t want them to give in to this vampirism disease that seems to be affecting everyone. Anyways, I run to the church to find that mass is just starting with the priest kneeling on the floor, however, there are many students in here with their fangs fully grown. They look at me with a smile on their face before pulling me into the church. Each of the students try to pull me in their direction while trying to bite my neck until two of them manage to get me in a corner away from the others so they can try to have my neck for their own.

It is then that the priest stops the mass and calmly says, “Please treat the newcomer with respect.”

Some kind of invisible force pushes back the vampiric students and allows me to have my own corner of the church to myself.

“Please kneel for the remainder of the mass and offer it as penance to God. It will do you good as well,” the priest says to me.

I do as he says and for the rest of the mass, the students keep away from me. After the mass is finished, I wait until everyone leaves since I don’t trust any of them or the possible threats outside.

“You must be a devout worshipper. You don’t have any fangs in your mouth,” the priest says.

“Thank you, but is everyone in this town affected by a curse?” I ask.

“They are. The original founders of this town took the American work ethic too far and God allowed it to be overtaken by a curse that cursed everyone with vampirism at night that’s worsened by their sins. You should leave here now since you have the protection of the Eucharist.”

“Isn’t the church the safest place to be?”

“Both the church and the Eucharist will protect you for a time, but not the rest of the night. What will protect you the most is the purity within. You can use your humility as a weapon against them now go.”

“What about everyone outside? What about the people who died?”

“The threats will keep their distance from you because biting a person who has consumed the Eucharist will kill them. As for the dead, they will rise again tomorrow morning as if nothing happened though you should pray for them. They are willfully ignorant of God and truth and are completely senseless during the night and consumed every night as a result. Now, hurry and find somewhere safe while you can.”

“Okay, thank you for the information.”

Once I hurry outside, I can hear the priest lock the doors of the church behind me. It’s quieter now outside so I assume the feeding frenzy is done. Before I can decide where to go, a figure walks out of the dark until I recognize it as the girl I know.

“Rune?” I say hoping that the name I remember her having is correct.

“Allen, I thought I’d find you here. We have to get inside someplace safe for the remainder of the night,” she says.

Whew. Glad I got her name right.

“What are you doing here?”

“I know you work for this parish and had a feeling you might be here. Let’s hurry inside especially if those goat creatures are around.”

“We can go to where I live. There’s an adoration chapel there.”

“Why there and not this church? Did they lock the doors already?”

“Yeah.”

“Cowards. Let’s go to your place then.”

While leading Rune to my home, I ask, “What are those goat creatures?”

“People who have indulged in sin so much over the course of many nights to the point where they become those things.”

“Maybe we should leave town. This entire place isn’t safe.”

“We can’t. Those goat things patrol the forests at night and by the time the sun rises, we’ll completely forget all of this and all traces of it will be erased. Nothing can be written down about it, nothing can be recorded on the internet, no one can be killed, and nothing can be broken that won’t be repaired when the sun rises. Even the people who pass by the town at night, won’t remember anything once they exit it. The only thing that can permanently be changed by the night are the people who turn into goats that are completely forgotten about by the morning and every trace of them is gone.”

“This is going to be difficult to deal with, especially with people after my neck. Is there a way to stop them from doing so?”

“You could wait a while for your neck to grow stale, but it took me at least three months or so. There is also getting a girlfriend to bite your neck. God is apparently merciful enough to let that not be a sin and even have couples be able to stay near one another during the night assuming their love is pure and their relationship approved by Him.”

“We can do that then!”

“What?”

“Be my girlfriend so you can bite my neck! That sounded wrong. I’m sorry, but please. I really mean that I want to be with you not just because of the neck biting. I really do love you.”

That wasn’t as elegant and storybook-like as I want it to be, but I want her to bite my neck…no, I can’t let impure thoughts and feelings cloud the purity of my heart’s decision. Rune looks stunned and is having trouble saying anything. Please, say yes.

“I…I um. Hey, the sun is starting to come out.”

“But will you?”

“I…yes, yes, I will, but we’ll forget about it soon.”

“Then I’ll ask you again later.”

“But-”

“If we’re meant to be with one another, then it’ll definitely happen. Trust me.”

As I say that, the sun rises. Man, I’ve never seemed to kick the habit of sleeping after church. I get breakfast from the local diner before going to the library to show off the next chapter of my book. Thankfully, Rune is there to see it too so I can impress her. Rune is her name, right? I think I’m remembering it correctly. She joins in with the other writers so she can see how I make my books before grabbing one of my signed copies to take a look at. Okay, I think this is the time to ask her out, so I approach her while everyone else is starting to leave.

“Hey, Rune. Did you enjoy my presentation?” I say hoping that the name I remember her having is correct.

“I did and I have to say that I’m interested in reading more,” she says.

Whew. Glad I got her name right and that she likes my work. Okay, now I think it’s a good time to ask.

“Are you busy today?”

“No, I’m not. Today is Sunday after all.”

“Right, would you like to go out on a date with me today?”

She seems hesitant to answer. I did just come out of nowhere with the question and I didn’t exactly ask in an elegant or storybook-like way as I wanted to.

“Okay! I’d like that.”

Yes! Thank you, God, that she didn’t turn me down. For the rest of the day, we enjoy the sights of the town together and enjoy each other’s company. She mostly decides where to go since I don’t know much about the area though I still pick a good couple of areas to go that I heard were good. It goes pretty well and ends with me eating dinner at her house until the sun goes down. We watch some old movies we remember together on the couch and it is then that I feel like this has been the best day of my life. That is until I remember what happened this morning.

“See? I was right,” I say.

“Yeah, but…” Rune says while looking concerned and at my neck.

“What is it?”

“N-nothing. We’ll be safer in the basement. I have it blessed and decorated with holy images and objects.”

“Will it keep us safe for the night?”

“It has for me to the best of my memory.”

“Even if the night lasts as long as the last one?”

“The night only lasts that long on Sundays because those who cursed the town wanted to blaspheme God by doing it. Nights start typically from eight pm to five pm while Sunday nights are typically from eight pm to nine am. I say typically because some nights last longer or shorter depending on the season and God’s mercy.”

As we go into the basement, there are a bunch of holy objects and images around the stairs that go down. Inside the basement is a single small room with no windows and a bunch of packed up boxes labeled for holiday seasons and old hobbies and memories.

“Do you trust me?” Rune asks.

“Of course,” I say.

“Then I’ll have to strap you to the wall. For your own safety.”

“Um.”

“Just trust me.”

“Okay.” After strapping me to the wall with what seem to be belts, Rune walks back and forth. “What wrong, Rune?”

“I…you shouldn’t have trusted me. I strapped you to the wall because part of me wants to bite and suck your blood for the entire night.”

“No, I still trust you to do the right thing.”

“You just want me to bite your neck. You’re sick.”

Kind of, but no, I won’t let that temptation get in the way.

“Rune, I trust you. Stop worrying.”

She paces back and forth a bit before saying, “Okay. Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Just don’t bite too hard.”

“Quiet. I have to concentrate to control myself.”

Rune walks up to me and looks me in the eyes. I close mine, and then she slowly and gently bites my neck.

“See? That was eas-”

“Be quiet. I’ll have to bite all parts of your neck.”

This time, Rune bites the other side of my neck, but she does so again and again until she starts biting harder and seems to enjoy it to a worrying degree.

“Rune? Are you okay?”

“Yes! Tasty…so tasty…”

“Rune? Stay with me. Control yourself.”

Something’s wrong with her. She keeps biting me and her teeth are growing bigger and bigger. Despite the size of her teeth, the amount of pain I’m feeling, all the blood I’m shedding, and her many bites, my neck doesn’t fall off even though it feels like it should. I try to stop myself from screaming while trying to calm down Rune with words, but it’s useless. Right now, I feel like she’ll rip my neck off from my shoulders especially since she’s bitten many times around it. In my pain, I offer up my feelings of fear and pain up to God and quietly ask God to have mercy on her and me. It’s my fault that this is happening, isn’t it?

Huh? Did something happen last night that I forgot about? I hope it wasn’t anything sinful. Rune is sleeping on me with a smile on her face and…drool on her mouth. It’s really cute in a way. What time is it anyway? We still have a couple of hours before I have to go home and get changed for work, so I wrap my arms around her and set my alarm to wake me up in an hour, however, my alarm doesn’t go off until Rune wakes up.

“Good morning,” I say.

“What time is it?” Rune sleepy asks.

Looking at the time on my phone, I say, “Five.”

“Good night then at least for another two hours.”

“Okay, good night.”

My alarm goes off later and wakes both of us up.

“You had to set that alarm?” Rune asks.

“Well, today is Monday and I have to get to get my prayers done, eat breakfast, and get changed before I go to work,” I say.

“Yeah, I have to go to work too, but I start at ten.”

“I know. Can you let me go now?”

“Oh, that’s right. Sorry, I was too comfortable.”

After leaving Rune to sleep some more, I go about my daily routine before going to work, teaching the aspiring writers, and then going to work at the library. Man, I know this is a town with not that many people in it, but I’d like some people to work with. It feels pretty lonely being the only one working the counter. I could talk to the people working in the coffee shop though I don’t feel like looking that I’m not attending to my duties. Still, I’d like someone to be at the counter so I can get the stock organized. Oh, Rune is here like always.

She walks up to me and says, “Hey, we didn’t do anything uh…premarital last night, did we?”

“No, of course not,” I say.

“Yeah, I just felt worried when I woke up as if we did something because we slept on the couch together.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’m a Catholic man that saves that stuff for after marriage.”

“I figured you were. Anyways, do you want to hang out for a bit after work?”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you outside of where you work after six?”

“Yep. See you then.”

“Can I uh…have a kiss before you go?”

“Sure,” Rune says with a blushed face.

Rune kisses me on the lips then smiles at me before biting my neck.

“Ah! What was that for? I think you drew blood,” I jokingly say.

“I don’t know. I just felt like I owned your neck now for whatever reason. See you later!” she says while walking towards the coffee area.

That was weird. Anyways, work goes by fast today since I’m busy. I go to Rune’s workplace and hang out with her for a bit before I treat her to dinner. After which, we watch the sunset together from a place in town that’s known for it. We then kiss each other before the sun fully sets and we remember what happened last night. My neck also begins to feel scarred as if the events from last night are catching up to it.

“I’m sorry,” Rune says before immediately getting up and walking away.

“Wait! I should be the one who is sorry since I was the one telling you to bite my neck and let you do it,” I say.

“No, I could’ve controlled myself, but I didn’t. It’s all my fault for putting you through so much pain last night.”

“It’s okay. I forgive you and hey, my neck is no longer attractive to the other people in town now, so they won’t go after me because of that, right?”

“Right…”

I then hug Rune who is on the verge of crying.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. We should get to safety. Let’s go to my house.”

“Alright…”

Holding Rune’s hand, we walk to my house while avoiding the people of the town until they find and surround us. All these people appear to be in the process of turning into goats with many mouths on them since part of their bodies has red fur and a mouth or two on them.

“What do you people want?” I ask.

“You…you denied us your neck and now we won’t be able to taste the neck of a pure soul like yours until who knows when,” one of them says.

“Deal with it and leave us alone,” Rune says.

“Oh, we’ll deal with it, but you’ll have to deal with us tearing you apart every night because of what you’ve deprived us of. I’m assuming you’ve let your girlfriend bite your neck so we’ll start with her first and let you watch as we do as we wish with her.”

One of the people then leaps at Rune who I get in the way of protecting her and paying for it by having a chunk of my arm clawed off.

“Allen!” Rune says.

“It’s okay. I’ll offer up this pain as penance and my life up to you,” I say.

For some reason, my blood begins to boil and burns the person that attacked me. It also purifies their arm that was part goat before starting to burn and purify the rest of them. They jump away before falling to the ground and screaming in agony. The others then take a couple steps away from us in confusion and talk among themselves to figure out what to do. It is now that I know realize what the only weapon I can use against them is. Suffering for the sake of another won was used by God to save us from sin and so I can use it against them. Therefore, I offer up my suffering to them for their sake.

As I do this, I move my injured arm so that the blood from it can hit the others around us, and to my surprise, my blood comes out of my arm and hits the others as if it was guided by an invisible hand. I then offer up my suffering for the sake of the town, and as I do so, the rest of my body begins to bleed especially my head where a spiky crown of blood forms on my head. In the distance, I can hear the screaming of sinners as the surrounding area becomes less dark and crimson red. Because of all bleeding, my pain increases, but I can sense that people’s souls are being purified and that my sacrifice is worth it.

A quiet voice in my head says, “Now, you share in the suffering and love of Christ.”

“Allen, are you okay?” Rune asks.

Smiling while trying to hide the pain, I say, “I’m fine. I can deal with this.”

“How can you deal with bleeding out of every part of your body?!”

“Heh, God’s help, I guess?”

“I’ve never heard or seen this before. Do you think it will end the curse?”

“I have a feeling it won’t unless more people do the same. Until then, I’ll have to suffer for them and I feel that I’ll have to do this every night.”

Despite saying this, I feel a strange sense of peace.

“You can’t! I can’t stand seeing you like this!”

“It’s okay. Because it’s worth it to help the people here. I’ll also be keeping you safe, which helps me bear this suffering.”

Rune hugs me before the morning light begins to shine over the horizon. What a happy ending to a dream. I only wish that I knew what happened during the night though since I keep waking up next to Rune for the past couple of days. It seems like nothing sinful happened because we’re on the couch together with our hands held together. Since it’s five in the morning with the sun just beginning to rise in the distance, I cuddle up closer to Rune and fall back to sleep. Ever since I came to this town, I’ve been living a dream and I thank God every day and pray that it will continue to be this way for the rest of my life.