Chapter
4 – Saved from Suicide
It hardly takes me any time to make
it to Vatican City and once I make it there, many people easily fall to my
spell, especially the priests, bishops, and cardinals. I should’ve known since
most of the people in the Church are faithless and treat their beliefs like
just another part of their lives rather than the primary part of it. This part
of the world is stuck in an eternal night and my powers are making it even
darker as the moon and stars are completely blocked from the sky. The only
light that remains in the city are the candlelit lampposts and the fires caused
by the chaos I’ve started. Ah, now this feels right! Everything is going
according to plan again as the demons sing while the city screams and uselessly
cries out to God and increases the reach of my power into the rest of the
European region.
Because everyone is dealing with
their demons, I am able to freely walk into the main cathedral, facing no
resistance. I search the halls of the Vatican, calling out to Jude to face me
while hoping that he’s already writhing in pain. Fortunately or not, I find him
praying at the altar to relieve himself and everyone else of their pain. At the
same time, he has crimson talons for arms that shake in pain and anger, a
singular red wing is coming out of his back along with a horned snake that is
giving him a dirty look and snarling at him. Despite his malformations and the
racial mixing with a high elf, he still has Dominic’s features on his face, the
scar over his right eye that’s little more than a birthmark, green eyes, and
brown hair make him look nearly identical to his ancestor.
Jude turns around to me with a
somewhat disappointed look on his face and says, “Tell me what pains you,
Priscilla. Allow me to help you so we can end this curse you’ve inflicted on
everyone.”
I almost forgot that Jude also has
Dominic’s tone of voice though that could just be my imagination or his
ancestor interceding for him.
“I have nothing to tell you,” I
say.
“We’ve known and worked together
for so long. Tell me the suffering you’ve been hiding from me.”
“I haven’t been hiding anything
from you. If you’ve truly known me for so long, then you’d have some idea as to
why I’m doing this.”
“I know you’ve done and suffered so
much for God and the Church for hundreds of years. You’ve had many husbands,
none of which were able to give you any children, but that wouldn’t be enough
to break someone like you down.”
“Haha, well, it has. I’m tired of
it all and I’m especially tired of not getting what I deserve to make me happy.
What you saw in me was just a façade that hid my true feelings. I didn’t help
Evander bring his dream reality because I was unaware of his true intentions
nor did I try bringing about my own dream reality because I thought it was God
truly wanted. I did both for my own sake and my time in prison made me realize
that and that God has abandoned me. I’ve outlived my usefulness and refuse to
be his puppet any longer. Now, I will make sure that when he comes again, he
will not find anyone faithful on earth and will have to damn everyone on it,
including me.”
Jude’s eyes narrow on me.
“You don’t really want this. I know
you don’t.”
“I don’t, but there’s nothing
better for me to do to get back at God. Now, stop talking and suffer for me,
will you? Lose your faith and recognize that God has abandoned you just as he
abandoned me!”
I use the suffering around me to
increase my power and further burden Jude to break him down. Perhaps when he’s
broken down, I can have my way with him since I couldn’t be with Dominic. We
can both enjoy ourselves until the day of our damnation.
“Priscilla…” Jude says as he
struggles to stand. “Please…”
“Yes, beg for your life! Let me
hear you cry and scream in sweet agony!”
“Please…it’s not too late to stop.
I know you’re better than this…”
“Shut up!”
“Let me help you…”
The demons help me concentrate even
more power on Jude. He is now profusely bleeding a torrent of blood that won’t
stop flowing from his body. He’s holding back his screams and when he does,
it’s music to my ears, but something is off. The bastard is using his suffering
as penance for his sins and mine while praying for the world and me. Dominic
and Harald appear behind Jude with their hands on his back.
“Mother, I’m here for you,” Harald
says.
“Priscilla, be the hero I thought
you were and still are inside,” Dominic says.
I can feel something inside me
fighting against myself. Before I know it, my skin starts coming apart and a
second me tries coming out of my body. It rips and tears away, trying to break
free while reminding me of my old self and profusely apologizing for everything
I’ve done. Eventually, it breaks free, leaving behind the corrupted shell I
once was that flies away carried by the wind. I’m now back to my normal self
with black and red hair and my body doesn’t have a single cursed marking on it.
Jude’s demons recede from his body.
He takes off his long papal cloak and covers my nakedness with it. With a smile on his face, he hugs me and starts to cry.
“Welcome back, Priscilla,” he says.
My mind feels blank as if I’m in a
trance. I don’t know what to say, think, or feel anymore. Looking behind me, I
see that people are still struggling with their demons with few of them
managing to recover.
“The curse isn’t gone yet despite
me not casting it anymore,” I manage to say.
“That’s fine. We know how to break
it and with your help, we can help everyone-”
I quickly grab a dagger on a
soldier’s belt and look at it.
“Priscilla?” Jude says with a hand
reaching out to me. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t deserve to live because of
what I’ve done. I deserve damnation and to suffer until the end of time for
this curse that I’ve put on the world,” I say before cutting my neck and stabbing
my chest while crying in a vain attempt to kill myself.
Jude struggles to get the dagger
out of my hand. After he does and I try to get it back, he holds me as I cry in
his arms and fall to the ground. Demons with my face start popping out of my
body and head and start stabbing me with bone-like daggers and telling me how I
should kill myself and that I deserve Hell. Jude counters them by praying and
using the pain inflicted on him against them. Eventually, they disappear, but
their whispers still ring through my ears.
“It’s okay,” Jude says as he holds
me tightly. “It’s okay. We can fix this. You indeed deserve punishment for what
you’ve done, but God has mercy on you, just as He has mercy on a worthless
sinner like me. As long as you live, it isn’t too late to make reparations for
your sins.”
I know what he says is true. I know
I should appreciate the fact that my defeat has woken me up from my senses, but
I don’t want to. Part of me still wants to continue my spiteful quest despite
knowing it to be wrong or just keep stabbing myself until I die, however, my
heart and conscious tell me to keep going, that it’s not too late to be
redeemed. I’ve known for a while that the happiness and life I want are unobtainable,
but that didn’t help bear the pain of that truth. All I can do now is thank God
for waking me up, pick myself up, hope that I don’t fall to sin again and do my
penance despite how bitter this blessing may be.
The End
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