Abandoning Suffering: Chapter 1 – My Curse from God

“A burden too hard for me to carry,

I almost wish my birth were a miscarry.

My bones are brittle,

My will is little.

Is God really there?

Because my curse is too much to bear.”

-          From the Psalms of Suffering

Chapter 1 – My Curse from God

There was a world changing event known as the Choking of the World when God instructed St. Matteo the Black Rose to bring His judgment on the world and brought the once illustrious but wretched world spanning City of Light to ruins in only three days. Since then, humanity has been trying to worship God in the right way so that they do not become as corrupt as the people from the past, but after generations have passed, people begin to wonder if it is really God’s will that the world should be like this because of the suffering, war, and violence that is more present now than before. For example, Eliza is a young girl whose entire town has been sacked by bandits with her being the only survivor. Although’s she’s lost her arms, legs, and has severe injuries she still manages to cling to life by some miracle. Her husband comes back just in time from his job as a traveling merchant to find his wounded wife and uses the herbs he sells to temporarily heal her wounds.

Knowing not what to do, he does the one thing that he can think of in his desperation. The capital city of the world known as the Black Rose has a secret place where servants are sold to the nobility for high prices. He brings Eliza to them and tells them of what happened to her and that he’ll sell her to them. They examine Eliza in their doubts that she is still alive and find that she is. Thinking that she’ll make a good show of God’s mercy on the poor, a show of their own charity, and maybe even a good wife when she heals from her injuries, they buy her and send her to a room to have her wounds properly covered and taken care of. Eliza is then dressed in a grey frilly dress and a white mask is put on her face to hide her disfigurements.

Eliza has been stuck in a numb feeling of shock and despair that has made her silent. So much has happened to her that her being sold off by her husband didn’t cause any feeling in her as if she were expecting it like another daily occurrence in this series of unfortunate events. Even as she sits in her comfortable room, she feels numb to everything and says a prayer in her mind.

“Why God have You made my life a constant stream of suffering? Horrible parents, terrible teachers, and a job of slaving away on a farm. I thought being married would change things, but You have refused to give me children even at my young age of eighteen. If that wasn’t enough, it’s all gone now and I’m going to be used as a trophy with no way out of getting out of this life. Is there no happiness for me in this life? What horrible sins have I committed for this to happen to me? Why is my existence so cursed? Answer me these or at least give me the pleasure of ending my life.”

After a period of crying whatever tears her charred face could muster, a voice came to her, “You have gone through many sufferings because I deemed you as worthy of making it through them and to get you inside this building of the capital. You were strong enough to live through them and that strength still exists within you. I will give you the power to make a difference and change this world that was tainted by that false saint and his god if you renounce him and submit yourself to me.”

“I will do as you ask.”

Eliza no longer feels the numbness within her nor the pain of her wounds. Six arms come out of her back. They help her stand up and get out of the room she was in.

“Travel across the ceiling and stick to the shadows. Head to the top of the building and cut the head off this false church by killing the descendants of Matteo the Black Rose,” the voice says.

With her new ability, Eliza climbs on the walls and hides from the guards, maids, and butlers of the building until she reaches the top. There she sees guards that she takes down with her fists. The descendants tremble and beg for their lives as the three boys and girls can barely hold their swords. Having no pity on the weaklings, Eliza throws them into one another to knock them out. As she looks at them, she imagines the worst kinds of deaths for them as punishment for their horrible job as rulers. A man of nobility then enters the room and is shocked by what he sees.

“He is a friend,” the voice tells Eliza.

“Who are you?” Eliza asks.

“My name is Lucian and I-I am a humble servant of God. I’m so glad that you’ve taken care of these people. They were hardly the leaders at all despite what I taught them. You must be Eliza that poor girl that the other nobles bought. My condolences for what happened to you, but it looks like God has chosen you for a great purpose.”

“You were a teacher to them? Why shouldn’t you be punished too?”

“Just because a teacher teaches his students, it doesn’t mean that they’ll follow his teachings. They called my teachings devilish because I took lessons from the people who built the old City of Light.”

“Put your hand on his head so he may teach better,” the voice says to Eliza and she does as the voice says.

“Ah, I understand now. Come with me to the balcony, Eliza, and take the bodies of those worms with you.”

Eliza grabs four of the descendants with four of her arms and lifts them in the air for everyone to see.

The man grabs everyone’s attention as he says, “Look here, you slaves! Look at these pathetic masters of yours whose lives are in our hands! They have been dethroned and your shackles have been broken. You are free from their service. You are free from the god they worshiped. You are free!”

The crowd cheers and those who are allied with the descendants quietly talk amongst themselves and leave the capital in fear.

“I, Lucian, will be your new ruler and I promise to lead you just and fairly. My first order is to take what is yours and overthrow your oppressors while they are still here. Even now the cowards plan their escape so act quickly. Rejoice! Rejoice because of the freedom given to us! Rejoice!”

The citizens of the capital do as Lucian says as his new charisma inspires them. Violence breaks out as people take what they want and hurt who they think has oppressed them. Eliza and Lucian watch this with delight as Eliza smiles for the first time in a long while.

“What am I going to do with these people?” Eliza asks, “Should I throw them off the balcony or hang them off it?”

“Those are very good ideas, but not as good as the one I have. We are going to strap them to poles outside and have the crowd deal with them in whatever way they see fit. We are going to do this for every one of their supporters. God has informed me that these supporters of theirs are leaving the capital as we speak. These cowards must be dealt with and brought to justice for their horrendous crimes. I know of one supporter that is most likely hiding beneath the very ground we stand on. If it is in God’s will, lend me your strength, Eliza, and help me in this most holy of quests.”

“I will gladly serve.”

Eliza heads out to where Lucian instructs with a renewed spirit that she’s never felt before.