Abandoning Suffering: Chapter 2 – A Perversion for Everything

“My abusers are dead,

And the cowards have fled.

Where are they that accuse me?

Their deaths I decree.

What they did to me no long matters

Because I’ll have their heads on a platter.”

-          From the Psalms of Retribution

Chapter 2 – A Perversion for Everything

Eliza heads into the underground of the capital passed a charging crowd of people with an energetic sense of freedom. In the underground, she finds many tents that the people who were here lived in despite the entire area being damp, cold, and appearing to be under the constant threat of collapse because of the sea it is under and the many sea creatures within it. Going further underground, she finds a group of nobility and slave tamers running away from a man in a black, dirty, and damp cloak. These people then fall to the ground as they choke on their own blood. As the man in black turns his head, Eliza sees that the man is wearing a crow mask that is cracked and as dirty and black as his cloak.

This man with a crow mask approaches, Eliza and says, “Ah. You must be the woman with six arms that the people were talking about. It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Valerius.”

“Eliza. Lucian told me that you could point me in the direction of a man that I need to take care of.”

“I’m hot on his trail right now. These friends of his wouldn’t cooperate with me so I wouldn’t give them the cure to the poison I injected into them.”

“Then let’s continue the chase.”

“Yes, the hunt continues,” Valerius says as he leads Eliza on the path he was following, “I must thank you for starting this divine revolution.”

“You’re welcome.”

“My fellow guards and I have had to go about bringing real criminals to justice in the shadows behind the backs of the authorities we served. They were the real criminals despite their devotion to God. Look at this place that they forced people to work in. It can hardly stay together or be called a home even with St. Matteo’s black thorns holding it together.”

“That man was no saint. He brought the will of an evil god upon this world and so much suffering along with it.”

“You may think that, but he still did a lot of good when he was alive-”

“I don’t want to about him anymore,” Eliza says as she punches a hole into the wall with one of her many hands.

“I’ll keep my opinions to myself then.”

Valerius takes Eliza through a series of secret doors hidden behind closets and walls until they reach a luxurious room that appears to have been hastily abandoned. There are cages, masks, and various kinds of expensive alcohol in the room. Hearing the faint sound of moaning, Valerius leads Eliza to an upper room where they find a man and various women. Seeing the uninvited guests, the women hide while the man scrabbles for a mask. That he puts on his face. This mask is red and pinkish with two tongues that go from the smiling mouth to the eye holes.

“W-who are you two?” the masked man asks, “What are you doing here and why do you look so serious? I’m just a simple man here for pleasure and business.”

“Your perversions end here, Martin,” Valerius says.

“Martin? Who me?”

“Yes, I know who you are. You’re the son of the head of the church in the capital. Frankly, bishops shouldn’t be having children so it’s no wonder why you ended up in the filth you’re in today.”

“Filth? I don’t know what you’re talking about at all.”

“I know that you have a wife for every fetish that you have. A wife to mommy you, a wife to punish you, a wife to desecrate you, etc. You make me sick. I’ll never forget the men and women that you falsely accused of crimes so you could have my guards and I arrest them so you could enslave them here for the pleasure of your guests and you.”

“I-”

A poison dart goes into the man’s neck and he begins to slowly die.

“Repent to God before your last moments. Maybe your suffering will take some years of your time in Purgatory.” The man then dies and appears to be somewhat at peace. “We’re done here.”

Before they leave, the women the man was with attack the two with whatever wine bottles and chairs that are in the room. Eliza goes after them and throws them against the wall so hard that their necks break and heads break open.

“Eliza! They were innocent women indoctrinated by Martin. They could’ve been saved,” Valerius says.

“They attacked us and I defended us. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Eliza coldly responds as she walks out of the room.

“You are one bitter woman, aren’t you? I can see it in your eyes. This world must’ve really done a number on you. I can find you help.”

“I don’t need help. I need to make the god who did this to me pay for what he did.”

“Then we’ll have our revenge and then get you help.”

Eliza grunts then follows Valerius up back to the surface where Lucian has attracted nearly the entire population of the capital gathering around him. Despite him being far away from them, they can hear what he’s saying as if something unseen is amplifying his voice.

“Glory be to God,” Lucian proclaims as the crowd cheers, “Today we witness the proof of our faith. The false saint, Matteo the Black Rose, took three days to give the world to his god while we have been given back our world in mere hours. Truly, this is the sign of a loving and caring God who rushes to His people when they cry out for help. Our enemies tremble and run away from us as soon as we rise up and realize the power within us. I will send my most trusted allies to rush after them and eradicate them and their kind from the world. A new age is beginning, my friends. An age of piety, justice, and truth. We all have our part to do in this divine revolution. We will have peace! We will have our right inheritance! We will have victory!”

The crowd cheers even louder with some going out as if Lucian gave them their orders in the speech somewhere.

Valerius claps and says, “I’ve never heard Lucian talk like that. He’s more inspiring than he usually is.”

“A voice in my head told me to touch him and that’s when he was given his charm,” Eliza explains.

“Ah, so you are sent by God then. Can you give me a power as well?”

“Not unless the voice says so.”

“That’s a shame, but I guess what I have will have to do for now.”

Eliza and Valerius walk to where Lucian is for their next orders while trying to get around the crowd, but they are soon picked up by Lucian’s command.

“Behold, two of my finest friends and servants of God! Eliza, a woman who suffered at the hands of the false god for her entire life while being strengthened by God. She was the first to make this revolution happen and helped me to be where I am. Valerius, a man who was the son of a traitorous guard, but also the nephew of a wise uncle who was dishonestly branded as a criminal. He has helped me clean the world of the real criminals who were in power. Give them gifts of praise, gold, and more as their reward for their service! They will free us all from the false god of suffering!”

The two are showered by gifts as Lucian instructs the crowd to do. Valerius enjoys the sight, thanks the crowd, but throws some of the gifts back and tells the crowd that his service to them is reward enough. Eliza, on the other hand, keeps the gifts and says nothing as she feels happier now than she ever has before.

In her mind, she thinks to herself, “Finally. I’ve been searching for this happiness my whole life, and after being denied and teased it, I have it.”

“It shall forevermore be yours if you continue to serve me,” the voice in her head says.

“I will.”

The two are carried by the crowd to Lucian who brings them to a meeting room where he instructs them where to go next and what agents he has sent out already to track down their enemies. He then tells them they can enjoy a short break and the riches of their victory today before they go out.

Valerius agrees to take a short break with Eliza to get her help for the state of her mind, but she says, “I need no help and my mind has never been clearer.”

“She did hear the voice of God and followed His instructions so she can’t be too unwell,” Lucian adds.

“I guess you’re right. Would you like to join me?” Valerius offers, but Eliza is already exiting the room. “That woman is something else. There’s something so cold about her that I can’t explain.”

“Maybe it’s because she’s died to God.”

“Maybe. I should still be a friend to her. She’s been through so much that she needs someone to listen to her.”

“You don’t have feelings for her already, do you? You’ve just met.”

“No, I don’t. I just feel bad.”

“Then go and help her but try not to be too pushy. Her tragic past has probably made her cold as you say.”

Eliza walks the streets of the capital and is recognized by everyone who praise her for what she did. She enters a restaurant and is told that she can have whatever she wants for free. After ordering, she takes her food and finds a place to eat in peace because of all the excitement around her. The place she hides is a dark alley that may be dirty to sit in, but at least no one will think to look for her here.

While eating, she looks up to the sky and a weirdly comforting voice in her head says to her, “Wake up! What you’re doing is wrong. Following that false voice will lead you only to damnation.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about and who you are, demon. Leave me alone,” Eliza says.

The voice that she’s used to hearing says, “Don’t listen to him. Think about what I’ve given you and the many treasures and moments of happiness that lay ahead.”

“Life is more than that. Though you may suffer for a short while, you will find happiness everlasting if you repent from your sins.”

This voice that she’s used to hearing feels colder compared to the other one now that’s hearing both. Eliza shakes her head.

“You’ve only caused me suffering whoever you are. You are no god that I would submit to or love. You make people suffer for you and don’t reward them for it. Instead, you abandon them and let them descend further into misery. I don’t want to hear from you anymore.”

None of the voices talk as it becomes completely silent until Eliza hears footsteps coming towards the alley. She expects it to be Valerius, but instead, it’s a boy who appears to be around five years younger than her. He wears the simple clothes of a commoner and looks at her in wonder.

“You must be Eliza. You’re my hero,” he says as he approaches her.

“You’re welcome. What do you want from me?” Eliza rigidly asks.

“Nothing. I had the feeling someone was in this alley when I neared it.”

“So? Leave me alone. I must rest for my next task.”

“Are you okay? You seem upset and unhappy.”

This takes Eliza off her guard as she thought that she was happy so she tilts her head at the boy.

“What makes you think that?”

“You’ve secluded yourself in this alley and you’re holding yourself with your arms. I do the same when I feel upset.”

“That doesn’t mean I am.”

“Okay, but just in case you are…”

The boy hugs Eliza and kisses her mask.

“What…what was that for?”

“My parents give me hugs and kisses when I feel upset so I thought I would do the same for you. They also tell me how much they love me, so I’m telling you that you’re my hero and I really appreciate you for what you’ve done for me.”

Eliza feels somewhat comforted and happier than when she was carried and praised by the crowd, however, she can’t figure out why.

“Killian! Where did you go?” a girl’s voice calls out.

“Oh, I didn’t tell my friend that I was going this way. Thank you again, Miss Eliza! I hope I get to see you again later,” Killian says before leaving the alley.

Now that Killian is gone, Eliza feels a chilly sense of loneliness that feels normal and new at the same time.

“No, it’s nothing. Don’t be so absurd,” she tells herself as she feels a connection to the boy.

She then heads off back to Lucian and comes across Valerius on the way who she sees from a distance.

He says to her, “There you are, Eliza. I saw that boy running out of the alleyway where you were, but it didn’t appear that you scared him off. Did you too talk?”

“It’s nothing,” she responds.

“Okay,” Valerius says while suspecting something different about her that he can’t figure out so he just adds it to his list of mysteries about Eliza, “Do you want to go eat somewhere? I know a good place near the sea.”

“I ate already and want to get back to work.”

Eliza then leaps up in the air by pushing herself off the ground and goes in the direction of where Lucian is supposed to be providing her transport to the next place where she is needed.

“It’s going to take a lot of work to understand you, Eliza.”

Valerius then heads off in his own direction where he is needed since there isn’t much time left in his break and he wants to get back to work as bad as Eliza wants to especially with their enemies on the run.