A Beast's Humanification: Chapter 3 – Redeeming the Past

Chapter 3 – Redeeming the Past

Continuing on my way, I find myself outside the capital city that Priscilla is in. My allies are still camped around this area as if they’re frozen in time. They’re alive but don’t react to me talking to them and touching them.

“What makes you think you’ll beat me this time? You think your false faith in God will make Him help you?” Priscilla says as her voice echoes from the capital.

“I told you that I’ve changed and I’ll prove it to you,” I say.

“No, you won’t.”

Before I know it, I’m wearing the armor I used to wear in the past which is comprised of bone-like armor and large heads as shoulder armor. My six wives of different races surround me in my bed all naked and reaching out to me. I’m unable to control myself as I take off my armor, enter their embrace, and fulfill the needs of my lust that are causing my body to ache.

“See? You’ve proven to me yet again that you haven’t changed in the slightest.”

Not knowing what else to do, I kill the illusions of my wives with my bare hands by crushing their throats, beating their heads into the ground, and breaking their skulls in two. These women are already dead and figments of my imagination anyway.

“Manipulating me doesn’t prove you’re right. It only shows me how desperate you are to prove me wrong.”

“Prove you wrong? In what? That you’re somehow more righteous than I am? I’ve lived hundreds of years all of which were dedicated to God while you live your entire life in opposition to Him.”

Flashes of Priscilla’s memories enter my head at such a rapid pace that it feels as if my head is going to explode because of them. At the same time, I begin to feel more pity toward her the more I learn. Nevertheless, her memories only prove to me that I’m right and she should know she’s in the wrong here.

“No, I’m not or should I remind you of your past!”

Flashes of my memory start passing by many of which I am ashamed of. All the innocent people I killed and women I’ve raped for my own pleasure and glory and no other reason. I try my best not to let them get to me and remind myself that I’ve repented and done penance for each of these sins and that I am here to fix the last of my mistakes. The memories start to slow down around the times when the Lord talked to me. Priscilla listens to each time He has spoken to me, especially the times when He said to stop her and that He loves me despite my sins.

“You’ve seen it for yourself, Priscilla. You know it deep down in your heart that you’re wrong and must repent,” I say. “Have you listened to what our son told you? Has he convinced you yet?”

“He’s only told me the same things you have. Because of that, I know for sure that he isn’t my son and just a trick of yours. As I’m concerned, you heard the voice of the anti-Christ in the monstrance.”

“Priscilla.”

“You are not Heaven sent and not a servant of God. I am! I’ve suffered the most out of everyone I know and have been alive long enough to know when I’m wrong and justified in what I’m doing. You’re nothing but an infant child in comparison and are just a self-righteous fool!”

Everything around me catches on fire, so I hold up the monstrance and pray to God to help me bear the pain and offer it up as penance.

“Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us,” I say aloud.

“Your call to Him is useless! He won’t answer your prayers because you’re beyond saving! I’m beyond tired of seeing you! Just die already!” Priscilla says.

Around me, I see my worst memories on one side and Priscilla’s on the other. I also see the tortured hanging bodies of my victims in the black void above me. They scream out in pain and curse me for what I’ve done to them. Many of the people I’ve killed also appear around me and charge at me with weapons raised.

“Continue forward bearing the pain as a weapon. You will make it through it,” the Lord says.

Okay, Lord. I trust You. I advance through the flames around me and am being stabbed and bludgeoned by those I’ve killed. The pain feels unbearable for every second I experience it and fall every few steps, and with every fall, I feel like giving up. Maybe this is how I redeem myself. Maybe I should just give up and let the pain wash away the stain of my sins.

“Father, get up! Mother still needs your help,” Harald says as he appears amid all this torture.

“I’m…I’m sorry that you had to see me like that son,” I say as I get up.

“Do not worry about it. Allow me to help you.”

Harald touches my shoulder and I feel a little bit of my strength being restored to me. That’s right. I can’t let him down and I can’t let the Lord down, most of all. Eventually after bearing the pain and falling and getting up for so long, I find myself in a throne room with Priscilla surprised to see me. She’s still dressed only in golden jewelry that hardly hides her nudity and has the dark red mark around her crotch where she cut out our son from herself before killing him. She yells out at me, floats in the air, and seems to be gathering dark golden light around her for an attack. While this is happening, it feels as if reality around me is falling apart and my mind is being ripped into pieces.

I can’t let her get to me. The only thing that matters is offering up my pain to the Lord and allowing Him to work through me. Doing so makes a heavy weight fall off my shoulders and a bright white and golden light shine around me that goes out from me to Priscilla. She is forced to the ground and the spell she was casting is dispelled.

“How are you doing this?! Why can’t I beat you?!” Priscilla asks me.

“Because the Lord is with me,” I answer.

Priscilla yells out and runs at me with a sword that she’s kept near her throne, and because I’m too weak to do anything, she cuts and stabs me with it.

“Die, die, die!” she says while laughing and grinning like a maniac.

“Priscilla…please…” I manage to say with the Lord’s voice in mine.

“Yes, beg for your life!”

“No…save yourself…it isn’t too late…”

She stops to catch her breath and appears to be shocked by my words. Before she can resume her attack, a group of the Church’s soldiers whom I came here with barrages into the throne room and start to restrain her with chains and magic. Some of them are trying to tend to my wounds and tell me something, but it’s too late for me. I already feel myself being pulled to the Heavens, and before I know it, that is where I find myself. The Lord is in front of me while the devil is to my left and an angel is to my right. The devil unrolls a long sheet of paper that lists all my sins and seems to stretch on forever, however, the angel takes a drop of blood from me and the entire list burns to ash in an instant.

“He is justified and of my blood. He can come home,” the Lord says.

Getting up and running to Him, I feel my past form fall off me like flakes as my true self is finally freed. The Lord is the first to embrace me and then my son, mother, and father hold me in their arms as well.

“I’m finally home, Father,” I say with a smile on my face and tears of joy in my eyes. “But what of Priscilla? Did she repent?”

“Not yet, but she still has the chance to, and given enough time, I can break into her hard heart as I did to you. As for you, your time of suffering and trials are done. Now, rest forever in my love, my faithful son.”

 

The End