Through Hell to Heaven: Chapter 3 – Lighting a Fire of Inspiration

Chapter 3 – Lighting a Fire of Inspiration

For the next few days, I do nothing but help around the floating city with Gerardus, Fr. Titus, and Lucy, which is nothing but a bore with the only relief being sparing with Gerardus when I help him make and clean weapons. The only reason why I do what I’m told is because the damned whale keeps showing its shadow under the water whenever I look over the side of the city into the ocean when I think about leaving. During this time, I start to gain the trust of the fishmen who start to act friendly toward me and even start wishing me a good morning on the third day. On the fourth day, my nerves about dealing with this cycle start to calm down as I realize I don’t mind helping Lucy fish for food in the ocean or learning about the systems of the floating city. I find it particularly interesting how it has a water purifier on it to make the salty ocean water drinkable and the sights of the large inoperable canons on the sides of the ships and inside of them are a marvel to look at.

While eating dinner with Gerardus, Lucy, and Fr. Titus, I notice the gnawing vices that I usually deal with are eerily silent. Being around these people almost feels like being with family and friends, especially since I sometimes hear my father’s voice in Fr. Titus, which is probably a result of God allowing him to do so. It’s also then that I remember I have to avenge his death and that I’ve been doing God’s will non-stop. I fell into the divine’s hands without realizing it and start to wonder when it happened. My guess is when God allowed me to kill. That particular moment when our interests aligned was when he turned my need to kill into an instrument of his will and started to dig deeper into my heart and soul and started to change me more, bit by bit without me knowing.

There was a time hardly even a week ago that I would consider living like this Hell on Earth because I haven’t had any sex in a while nor have I killed anyone for my glory and treasure, and now, I feel as if I’m someone completely different. I don’t know why I don’t hate the idea with every fiber of my being or why I allowed it to happen without much resistance. My mind doesn’t stop thinking about past events and how God could’ve taken over more of my being until Fr. Titus invites me to an hour of adoration on the fifth day and I accept without really thinking about if I want to or not. Gathering with him and a group of Catholics that involves Gerardus and Lucy, I sit in the silence of a church in front of the monstrance that’s been the cause of so much of my recent suffering and sudden changes. The God in front of me has done the worst and most unimaginable thing to me, which was to change me and fiddle with my heart’s desires to suit his needs.

Looking at the monstrance puts me in a trance that feels like being in the loving arms of my father or mother and the hour passes by as if it were a mere minute, after which Fr. Titus asks if I want to be baptized. I hear not only the voice of God but also of my father coming from Fr. Titus. Additionally, I see the face of Christ transparently overlapping Titus’. I rub my face and shake my head as if waking myself up from my tiredness.

“Leave me alone. I don’t even know why I agreed to be here,” I say while walking away.

Getting up, taking the monstrance with me, and walking out of the church, I sit by the edge of the floating city and let my feet hang over the edge. Part of me hopes that the whale comes up and kills me or whatever me is. I don’t know who I am or what I want anymore. I’ve always thought of myself as completely loyal to my parents, never seriously questioned them, or rebelled against their authority, but now, I’m not sure if I should do as they want. Despite not having any solid proof, my inner senses know that I’ve heard them speak to me. They want me to convert and do God’s will so I can join them in Heaven.

Can I really do this? God has remade me in small ways over time in what feels like no time at all. I don’t have as strong a craving for sex and violence anymore so much so that I can truly put my mind towards considering conversation, a thought that disgusted me not too long ago. A part of me doesn’t want to let go of this peace that exists within me and craves it more than the vices I couldn’t get enough of. I look at the monstrance and can almost see the face of Christ in the white host that feels as if it is sucking me in. What is it about God that has changed me so much? Maybe I can trust him. Maybe…

The alarms suddenly ring out in the city and Gerardus runs to me to bring me to where the defenders of the city are gathering. He tells me that our nearby allies have come here to inform us of an incoming attack from the allies of the bandits and pirates we killed almost a week ago. Captains and leaders of the guards and soldiers emphasize defending the city and keeping the attackers out by sticking close to it. Hearing the cowardly tactics of the fishmen angers me and makes me push through the crowd so everyone can hear me from the center.

“Why do you talk about defense and cowering within the city when the innocent inhabit it and will be caught amid the battle? On land, we have entire armies defending the walls of cities who laid down their lives for the people behind them, so why don’t we do the same? If our enemies want everyone here dead or forced into their service, then I say they’ll have to fight tooth and nail to do so,” I say.

“Leif is right,” Gerardus says. “He’s a savage, but savage tactics are what we need right now to protect the civilians and those who can’t defend themselves. Like he said, they’ll have to kill us if they want to get to the people we protect.”

Lucy adds, “He was a really weird guy at first, but he’s been really helpful these past days and shows that he cares for the people here. Let’s not forget that he didn’t complain about fighting these same bandits and pirates for us the day that he got here.”

“It was also because of him that we’re in this mess,” one of the captains says.

“He followed God’s commands and it’s our fault that we have a mess to begin with,” Fr. Titus says as he joins the crowd. “If we’d only been more proactive about keeping the Atlantic safe, then we wouldn’t have to worry about criminals and traitors causing trouble in it. God has a divine purpose for Leif that I doubted at first, but now I see it clearly, thanks to how far Leif has come since we first met. I say that we trust him and do as he says. He knows the ways of war and conflict better than anyone here, after all.”

Because of the support I receive from Lucy, Gerardus, and Fr. Titus, the leaders of the soldiers and guards hear my plan. I tell them to have most of the forces outside of the city while some of the elite and a sizable portion stay close to it. The floating city has no walls to speak of so when the enemy gets to it there’s no stopping them from entering it so we might as well have a majority of our forces defending it from the outside. The leaders agree to this plan and the troops are sent out with me being among those in the frontlines. To back us up, the fishmen have summoned as many huge fish as possible to act as a backup army that’s honestly twice as big as our army.

With a secondary force under the water and messengers getting help, we have the odds in our favor. I eagerly await the enemy and am excited to see them approaching. Once they get closer, I see that the force on the surface of the water is about the same as ours. From below, one of my allies emerges and reports of a larger force in the water, as was to be expected. Since this is the only enemy force in range, I leave a small detachment behind just in case there’s another one on the way while I focus many of our forces on the threat that we see. It takes some getting used to, but I’m able to get used to fighting on the back of a fish while Gerardus guides it. In some sense, it’s like fighting on horseback if the horse keeps jumping up and down.

We’ve won this first engagement, and sure enough, the enemies’ backup arrives, but since they’re too late to aid their allies, they’re not much trouble for us to deal with. I am then told that we are going to be attacked from all sides soon and that our allies are on the way. Well, I can’t say that I expected the battle to go smoothly and without trouble. God, if you truly want me to see your Pope, then please get me through this and save these fishmen who call themselves your faithful. Lend me your power for our mutual goal. Before I can rearrange the troops to properly defend each part of the floating city, I see the enemy in the distance.

Even as they get closer along with the fish they have under their control, I see no end to their number. Our allies better get here soon or we’ll need a miracle to survive this. The troops around me who seemed so confident and brave not too long ago are now scared and looking back home as if saying they want to go home.

“If you feared that you might die in battle one day, then you shouldn’t have become a guard or a soldier in the first place! If you retreat, I’ll cut you down myself. Where’s your courage, faithful of Christ?” I say and hold up the monstrance. “Charge and fight with viciousness and bravery for your God and all whom that you love!”

The guards and soldiers cheer before we charge ahead and clash with the enemy's forces. What ensues is chaos with the bodies of people and fish flying everywhere in and out of the water and falling on allies and enemies alike. I try my best to kill as many in the melee as possible until a monstrous shark knocks me off the fish I was on and drags me into the depths of the ocean with my weapons in its mouth. In this frantic situation, I let it have my weapons, plunging them down its throat, and then splitting it in half from the inside. Now that I’m underwater, I see that the carnage down here is greater than on the surface with dozens of bodies slowly floating down into the dark depths of the ocean like snow falling in the winter. Above me, I see Gerardus diving down with his arm stretched out to me, so I try to meet him halfway, however, he gets caught in a fight with the enemy and I’m dragged further down into the depths by the enemy’s controlled fish, both of which I don’t waste any time killing as I rip their jaws open and shove one into the mouth of the other.

It's then that I think I should’ve conserved my strength since I’m so deep in the ocean that the light of a surface is so distant that it seems like no matter how much I swim up, I get no closer to it. The coldness of the water doesn’t help either as it saps my strength. As I begin to run out of breath, I lose control of myself and stop swimming up, slowly begin falling, and start losing consciousness. While staring into the seemingly endless darkness of the ocean’s depths, I see the same annoying whale that’s been bothering me swim up from it. It opens its mouth and swallows me whole.

Through Hell to Heaven: Chapter 2 – Learning to be a Helping Hand

Chapter 2 – Learning to be a Helping Hand

This floating city is certainly strange. It looks like the futuristic cities from the past, however, these are well preserved compared to those I’ve seen in the Americas that are in a lesser condition or complete ruin. Despite seeming more advanced than anything I’ve seen, these buildings are taken care of in a primitive way with people using tools and paint to upkeep the ancient buildings all of which appear to be churchlike in design. These people better have what I’m looking for to get the Pope’s help and defeat Priscilla or else I’ll kill them all. I’ve also never slept with a fish woman so that may be something worth experiencing on the way out or maybe I should take one with me on the way out.

“Distract him from his thoughts, Titus,” God says.

“What’s it like in the Americas, Leif? The Lord generally told me about Priscilla’s powers to bend people’s minds but didn’t go into much detail,” Fr. Titus says.

“She can distort your perception of reality to the point where you think you’re in control while not having the least bit. Her goal is to put the entire world under the same dream reality that Evander had it under,” I say.

“Evander? You mean the king of the elves and the oldest man alive?” Lucy asks.

I explain to the three what Priscilla told me about Evander, how he put the entire world under a dream reality to forcefully put it at peace and submit to God, how the dream was broken by an unlikely sinner, how we met, what I did to her, and that she’s trying to do the same.

Continuing, I say, “I thought I had her under my control, but she turned on me and ended up killing many of my friends, family, wives, and children, especially my newborn child that I had with her that she sacrificed to gain the power she has now.”

“That’s horrible!” Lucy says.

“I admit that I feel a bit sorry for you despite the torture you did to Priscilla. I don’t know why though,” Gerardus says.

“You have the virtue of sympathy for sinners. Well, if anything, be content in knowing that your infant child went to Limbo and will go to Heaven like your father probably is,” Fr. Titus says.

The thought of the fate of my family’s and friend’s souls enters my mind. My father said that my mother embraced God like he did and was sure she was in a better place. What about my other children? Are they in Heaven or whatever Limbo is? I don’t know why the thought is taking priority in my mind now of all times when I hardly cared about the afterlife not too long ago.

“I’ve always assumed that a better afterlife was taken or earned from the gods and goddesses. As far as I’m concerned, that’s what my father and mother did,” I say.

“Your father and mother earned Heaven insofar that they did what the Lord said and became justified through Him. They didn’t earn it through work but through love, faith, and dedication,” Fr. Titus says.

Now, thoughts of the afterlife and getting into Heaven won’t stop bothering me. I knew that allowing God into my mind was dangerous and would override what I knew to be true just as he did with my father. Before I was able to keep it at bay, but the more I learn, the more part of me wants to learn, to do what God says, and I don’t know why that part of me is there.

“What sort of poison do you put in your truth?” I say.

“Your heart was made by me, for me, and will soon be mine. My truth is no poison but is the cure by being pure truth that resonates with my creation,” God says.

“Sure, keep thinking that if it makes you happy. It’s still a long shot.”

While I’m preoccupied with my thoughts, I hardly realize that the three fishmen have taken me to a large cathedral that has statues of saints, people, and their God on spires most of which appear to be in good condition. Inside, Fr. Titus leads me to a place where I take off my damaged armor and am given a black shawl and armored skirt to wear. This place looks much like the more advanced churches I’ve raided in the Americas, however, the crowd gathering around a priest gets my attention. The priest who is at the center of the crowd is being given food, some kind of pretty sea plant, and statues. One statue of their mother, Mary, is given to the priest, slips from the priest’s hands, and shatters on the floor, silencing the crowd.

Something about the priest’s careless action and attitude about the statue being broken sets me off, for some reason and I don’t know why. Getting closer to the crowd and looking at the shattered statue, I see my mother's face replace the face of Mary and pick it up. Why does this bother me? I’ve smashed and burned dozens of images and statues that the Catholics consider holy, and it’s only now bothering me? It must be God’s influence again.

“Don’t worry about that thing, sir. It’s just a statue,” the priest says to me.

That’s strange. I don’t hear the voice of the man’s God in his.

“It should bother you! It’s a statue of the Blessed Mother and be cared for with the utmost love and respect,” Fr. Titus says as he hastily gathers the pieces.

“You worry too much about these things, brother. We have plenty of these statues and more being made every day.”

“You don’t worry enough, brother.”

Looking at the fat pig of a man disgusts me to no end. Is this truly one of your faithful, God?

“No, he isn’t. I don’t know this shell of a man and he is dead to me and his last chance to redeem himself was to pick up and repair the statue of my Blessed Mother. You may kill him to get the attention of the people of this city,” God says.

“With pleasure,” I say.

Fr. Titus tells me to wait and then prays to God to get me to stop, but his God doesn’t listen and neither do I. I push my way through the crowds, grab the fat pig by the neck, chokeslam him to the floor, and then beat his face in until nothing remains of his skull besides bits and pieces. Everyone around me is scared with many in the crowd having run away.

“Calm down, everyone!” Fr. Titus says while shielding me from the guards of the Church such as Gerardus all of whom want to take a stab at me. “God has made this man, Leif, his instrument of justice. We can only pray for the soul of Fr. Facilis and we hope that he repented of his sins as he was being executed.”

The crowd somewhat calms down and the guards lower their weapons. That was a satisfying experience that felt right in a strange way. I need to feel it again!

“You will soon, but don’t let the feeling consume you and be the reason why you fight,” God says. “Titus. You must lead Leif to the leader of this city and explain to him the problem you’ve been having with pirates and the floating cities that have been taken over by bandits.”

“Y-yes, my Lord.”

While leading me to the leader of the city, the guards of the city stay next to me with their eyes never looking away from me for too long. Lucy is also with us and walks next to Gerardus who allows her to walk with us since she’s his friend. When I make it to a large cathedral, we find the leader of the fishmen here who has green and blue eyes, red hair, and is dressed in dark blue and black robes and is surrounded by priests and others who are well-dressed like him and sitting around a round table.

Butting into their meeting, Fr. Titus says, “Lord Ventus, here is a man that God wants you to see. He can also converse with the Lord like me and will play a part in saving us from a future disaster.”

Ventus gets up from his chair and looks up and down at me.

“Is there a reason why his hands are bloody?” he asks.

“He killed Fr. Facilis on God’s command,” Gerardus says.

“He was a lazy man who did more eating and sitting around than being a priest, but I wouldn’t say that he’s a man that needed to be killed. Is there some other proof that this man is sent by God?”

This man hardly has the voice of God in his. Are Lucy, Gerardus, and Titus your only true followers here?

“Tell Ventus I gave him the opportunity to save the world from Evander’s dream reality and he rejected it,” God says.

I repeat what God says to Ventus and Fr. Titus confirms what I said is true and clarifies to those what Evander’s dream was who don’t know it was him who put the world under his spell. Everyone looks at Ventus suspiciously while he tries not to look at him.

“Okay, I trust you. So, what’s this threat that this man was sent here to save us from?” Ventus asks.

Fr. Titus and I tell Ventus about how my ex-wife, Priscilla, wants to do the same as Evander and is currently taking control of the minds of people in the Americas and the threat of pirates and bandits on the sea that needs to be taken care of.

“I understand why we must be concerned about the pirates and bandits, but why should we concern ourselves with matters on land? We’ve been at relative peace compared to the constant wars and conflicts that happen on both sides of the planet and Priscilla doesn’t have enough power to control the entire world by the sound of it,” Ventus says.

“Because she will put the world under her spell if given enough time,” I say. “Besides, I thought you Catholics are supposed to care about your neighbors more than your comfort. It’s not like you’re struggling with your own problems here and the only problems there are we’re about to go solve.”

Ventus looks at the priests and men dressed like him who look back at him expectantly.

“You have a point, Leif. I must shamefully admit that. You can take a unit of troops and hunt down the criminals that sail these seas.”

Taking out a map, Ventus points to a general area where travelers and the fishmen have reported running into trouble. God talks to us and gives us a smaller area to search that we mark on our maps. I am trusted with a simple sword and shield by Fr. Titus, however, I deny using a shield in favor of using an axe in place of it. Along with the twenty soldiers Ventus sends with us, Gerardus and Fr. Titus tag along to lend their aid. To get to our destinations, the fishmen call large sea monsters from the depths who already have saddles on them and satchels to hold food, water, extra weapons, and medical supplies.

I’m hesitant at first to hop on the large fish, but since it’s my only choice, I get on and hold on for dear life as the fish continuously leaps in and out of the water. Gerardus explains to me while riding that they usually travel under the water since all fishmen can breathe underwater, so this in and out of the water is a concession made for me so I don’t drown. How thoughtful of them. By the time we reach the first location, which is a smaller city of wrecked ships, I throw up in the water because of the ride here, something that amuses Gerardus. I’ll have to beat him after this for that and for what he put me through on the way here. I slap myself a bit to get my mind focused.

Wanting to get on land and start the battle as soon as possible, I tell everyone to charge and they follow my command. I don’t have time to appreciate being on solid ground for long as I start cutting apart the bandits. It’s been too long since I’ve been in a battle like this and it feels like I’m satisfying a long-overdue itch. While cutting my way through the bandits, I notice they have crosses similar to the Catholics, which I only notice after impaling two of them through the head with one and appreciating my handiwork. The battle doesn’t last too long, a disappointment in my eyes.

While Gerardus and his fellow soldiers free the slaves from their chains and the civilians peer from their windows and doors, I ask Fr. Titus, “So, who are these people? Exiled family and friends?”

“You could say that,” Fr. Titus says. “The majority of fishmen want to stay out of conflicts, especially since that’s what our ancestors wanted to do after crashlanding in the oceans as a result of the battle that ended humanity’s futuristic age. That didn’t stop people from breaking from the main kingdoms and establishing their own civilizations such as this one. Not all of them are bad or hostile towards us, but many are as a result of being corrupted by the politics and conflicts happening on land.”

“I understand their perspective.”

“But it didn’t make you into a good person. A man like you only proves what we think.”

“Maybe, but the world isn’t going to be peaceful if you ignore the conflicts going on in it and seclude yourself, and you’re never going to avoid all conflict and violence by keeping your head down and yourselves indifferent to it all.”

“Eh, you do have a point. We do exile revolutionaries who try to start civil wars, criminals, and the like who disturb the peace. Still, we shouldn’t overextend ourselves by being involved in the world’s conflicts when they don’t affect us.”

“And yet, they affect you now and you may have been better off with a foot in it, so you were ready to face the threat. You may have even been able to stop Evander from putting the world under his dream reality if you had involved yourselves in the world’s issues. Your God seems to think so since he has us taking care of these bandits.”

“It’s too late to wonder what could have been and there’s no use for it. Let’s finish what we must do so we can back home as soon as we can. I'm already tired of this violence.”

I’m far from tired of it. The soldiers, Gerardus, Fr. Titus, and I ambush pirates who are either piloting ships or riding on sea monsters and liberate other cities of floating ships until nighttime when God says that we’ve done enough and it’s time to go back. When we arrive back to where we came from, we see Lucy, Ventus, and a few others waiting for us. They congratulate us on our victory, give us breakfast since it’s morning, and not much else is said.

“What? No big celebration or thanks?” I ask.

“Violence isn’t celebrated here, even if it’s necessary,” Gerardus says.

“I’d hate to live with people like you. I don’t know how you live such boring lives.”

“Because we’re able to enjoy the simple things and don’t have a need to constantly fight like savages like you.”

“A savage like me can talk to and hear the voice of your God while you can’t, and he has a special purpose for me, unlike you.”

Gerardus looks mad at me but continues eating and doesn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.

“Where to now?” I ask God.

“You don’t have to go anywhere. Rest for now,” God says.

“Rest? I can’t be wasting my time resting while Priscilla takes over the Americas.”

“I’m slowing her down as we speak, so don’t worry. Take a break for the rest of the day.”

Tch. As if I’ll do that. I walk around the city until I find the docks where several ships are docked for those who are unable to control fish as the fishmen do. Before I can even set foot on any of them, the entire city shifts and shakes until the whale monster with tendrils coming out of its eyes and body emerges from the ocean and stares me down with the eye in its mouth.

“Do you want to fight for real now? I’ll gladly accept!” I say to it.

“Leif! I’ve been wondering where you were. What did you do to make that beast emerge?” Fr. Titus asks.

“I didn’t do anything! It has some kind of vendetta against me since it’s been bothering me for the past two days. Your God is to blame for it showing up.”

“Then do whatever God says. Trust me when I say that a beast like this is unkillable.”

I have a stare-down with the whale’s mouth-eye for a few seconds before backing off and agreeing to not leave the city. When I do, the whale goes back into the ocean and disappears into its depths.

“What is that thing anyway?” I ask.

“A whale infected by what we call a quasi-parasite from the deepest depths of the ocean. The ancient records of the ship tell of these parasites that once consumed, take over the fish’s body, but don’t kill it. In fact, the parasite makes it evolve, in a sense, making it capable of regenerating fatal wounds and flying in the air, according to some reports.”

“Interesting. I’m glad nothing like it exists on land. Are humans capable of being infected by the parasite?”

“Not as far as we know since the parasite is indestructible and there are no known cases of it infecting anyone. We simply see the parasite as an allegory and reminder of what happens when we consume our Lord in the Eucharist. When we do, we become more powerful and give him more control over us.”

“That’s not an appealing thought whatsoever.”

“Give it time once you’ve fully committed yourself to him. You’ll find that it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“If you say so.”

I then ask Fr. Titus where I can rest and I’m given a place in his convent, a small simple room with a bed, closet, and scenic view of the city from my window. As I lay down, it doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep since I’ve been through so much and it’s nice to rest in a place that doesn’t constantly rock back and forth all the time.

Through Hell to Heaven: Chapter 1 – Further Humbling

Chapter 1 – Further Humbling

I’ve been traveling on the oceans for weeks, and it looks like I’m no closer to my goal. I’m sick of seeing nothing but the sea around me and tired of eating fish. What makes me even sicker is looking at my reflection in the water. Seeing my damaged armor and beige, scarred skin that’s a reminder of my failure to defeat my ex-wife, Priscilla, is enough to make me want to throw up. My want for revenge is the only thing pushing me forward and keeping me from killing myself with the makeshift axe I’ve made out of the large fish I’ve eaten.

Even now, I can hear Priscilla laughing at my pathetic state in my mind. If she couldn’t use magic that affected my perception of reality, then she’d be dead or forced to bear my children to make up for all the ones she killed. This Pope that I’m traveling to talk to better give me the help I need, but then again, it wouldn’t surprise me if his God led me out here to torture me and make me starve to death or die of dehydration.

“Don’t lose hope. You’ll come to do great things if you keep going,” the God of the Catholics says.

This monstrance I’ve been carrying around contains the God of the Catholics in the form of a single piece of bread with a cross on it. The thing itself is indestructible and I can’t manage to get rid of it as every time I throw it in the sea, it comes back and hits me in the face. I’ve been able to converse with him and one of the few able to do so since not everyone can hear the voice of this annoying God.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you and I told you not to read my thoughts,” I say. “Besides, I’ve heard you telling me to kill myself in my dreams.”

“You know those were demons pretending to be me. I am the only God and the true Christ for my one, holy, Church.”

Great. As if I’d needed to be bothered by old enemies. I’ve conquered Christian kingdoms who claimed to follow the true Christ and conquered them all. No Christ or other god or goddess has managed to stand up to me without eventually falling or giving me their power, but the Christ of the Catholics is different. What makes this Jesus different than the others still alludes me, besides the fact that this one is more annoying than the others and the only one I haven’t been able to break. I might as well just call this God, the only God because he’s given me the most trouble and won’t stop calling himself the only God. I guess I can give him that since I wouldn’t be able to break free from Priscilla’s spell without his help.

“You’d have less difficulty making it through this journey if you’d listen to me,” God says.

“I listen here and there. It’s how I was able to get control of this frigate ship,” I say.

“You’d also find it easier to steer and use if you didn’t kill everyone on it.”

“I have a bloodlust to satiate. I also don’t want to hear you comment on what I did to the women of the ship. That was another need that had to be filled.”

“And yet, you are not satisfied nor will you ever be if you seek to satiate your hunger for blood and sex.”

“Says you. I was at least satisfied during the time it happened and the happiness I felt at offending you lasted up until now.”

“Now, you have no one to help you steer this ship, you’ve run out of food and water, and your hunger pangs for your lusts are still clawing at your soul.”

“You’re going to have to deal with that part of me just as I do and get over the fact that I’m never letting go of those vices.”

Something rocks the boat and stirs the ocean around me. Looking over the deck, I see what looks to be a large whale that’s five times the size of this boat swimming underneath. It descends further under the sea far away from my sight before rapidly coming back up and splitting the boat in half.

“You’re to blame for this, aren’t you?!” I say to God.

Taking my makeshift axe, I wait for the whale to turn around and get closer. As it turns around, it reveals the beak of a bird and a large red and black eye within its mouth with tendrils coming out of it. More tendrils also come out of the whale’s eye and parts of its body as it approaches me at high speeds. I’ve heard of sea monsters like this existing, but never thought I would ever see one. This will be a great meal and make a fine tale to tell the people back home about once I kill it! Leaping at the monster, my axe barely manages to make a dent in its skin as I struggle to climb up it while the rest of the ship is destroyed around me by its charge.

Eventually, I slip and fall into the ocean before managing to make it to one of the eyes. I get onto one of the pieces of the ship that barely has enough room for me to lay on it, stand up, and yell at the monster to come back and face me, however, it only swims away and then plunges into the depths of the sea. Great, now I’m worse off than I was previously with the only good thing being that this piece of wood is easier to steer and move than the ship I was on.

“Do not worry too much. Soon, you’ll reach civilization on the sea,” God says.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say right now,” I say while rowing with a plank of wood and heading in the direction God told me to go.

Hours pass until I realize that I’ve been rowing since the afternoon. It’s nighttime now so I decide to rest as best I can on this wobbly piece of wood. I don’t expect I’ll fall asleep because of how frustrated I am and uncomfortable laying on the wood, but I do, and when I wake up, I see what looks to be large cathedrals and buildings ahead of me in the morning mist. Rowing towards it, I see that the cathedrals and buildings are on some sort of large, damaged boat that looks like something from mankind’s futuristic past. So, this is one of those floating cities of the Atlantic Ocean I’ve heard so much about? That also must mean that the people I see on the edge are the fishmen who inhabit it.

Two fishmen watch me float towards them, one is a female with purple hair and orange eyes while the other is a bald male who has green eyes and is holding a spiky spear and shield with a cross design on it. Both of them have blue-colored skin with darker blue areas on their body that appear rough and scaly and have gills on the face and fins of a fish on their head. The female seems calm with a smile on her face while the male seems cautious even though he has a smirk on his face.

“Hello, my name is Lucy!” the female says. “Who are you and would you like us to help you?”

I can hear God’s voice in the woman’s as if the two are one and the same.

“He obviously needs help. Look at him,” the male says who has the same voice of God in his.

“I’m just being courteous by asking, Gerardus. Oh, you have a monstrance with you! Are you a traveling priest or penitent paladin?”

“Tch, I’m neither,” I say.

The debris I’m on makes it to the two, allowing me to crawl onto their floating city and stand up. In my head, I debate beating the two to death with the debris I was on or using Gerardus’ weapons against him.

“Do not harm these faithful servants of mine. They will be on your side and will help you,” God says.

“Now I really want to kill them because you said that,” I say aloud.

Gerardus raises his shield a bit and then says, “What do you mean and who are you talking to?”

“Haha! It’s sad really that a God’s faithful can’t hear the voice of the one they worship while someone like me can.”

“What are you talking about? Speak common sense.”

“Wait!” a man says in the distance as he rushes towards us.

This fishman is dressed in the grey and red robes of a priest and is wearing black metal armor. His eyes are black and grey, he seems no older than my father and has the voice of God in his just like these two.

“Stand back, Fr. Titus. This is a strange man,” Gerardus says.

“I have heard God speak to me of him in my dreams. He’s Leif, a Nephilim beastman chief from the Americas, and a dangerously violent man,” Fr. Titus says.

“Then why are you telling us to stand back?”

“Because I can hear the voice of God, like him, and guide him towards the correct path.”

“This man can truly hear the voice of God?”

Approaching me with caution and bravery, Fr. Titus stands up to me with his back straight and looks me dead in the eyes.

“He can and God has great plans for him despite the atrocities he’s committed,” Fr. Titus continues. “Leif, please allow God to help you. Here, you will gain the strength and perspective on your life that you need to defeat Priscilla and save the world from her devious curse.”

“I don’t plan on staying here long. Your God told me to see your Pope.”

“This is an important step you must make to reach my faithful servant and gain what you need to convince him to lend him his aid,” God says.

“See? God agrees with me.”

“As if his approval means that much to me.”

“It will soon.”

“Stop it. Both of you. Who is Priscilla and what are you both talking about?” Gerardus asks.

“I’m sorry for the confusion, Gerardus. I will explain everything along the way. Please, follow me, Leif, and allow me to show you why God brought you to us,” Fr. Titus says.

“Tch. As if I have a better choice,” I say as I reluctantly follow the priest and the other two fishmen into their floating city.

A collection of my lore and event books is out today!

Paperback ($11.99) - https://www.amazon.com/Immortalis-Fides-War-After-Futures-ebook/dp/B0DC6X1KN6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Kindle ($5.99) - https://www.amazon.com/Immortalis-Fides-War-After-Futures-ebook/dp/B0DC6X1KN6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

After the war that ended the space fairing and technologically advanced age of humanity, the earth is changed along with humanity with new races born and new challenges to face. Still, they fight amongst themselves and refuse to learn from the lessons of the past. These stories follow people born in this chaos who suffer and strive to do the right thing and be faithful to God who is still present in the darkness of this new age.

This book includes lore for newcomers and follows major events in the series such as the war against the Vicar Sylvatic and his ratmen and the tyranny of the king of the elves who keeps the entire world peaceful by keeping it in a dream. It collects; Immortalis Fides: Lore and Finer Details, A Quest for Sweet Suffering, Righteous Rejects of Heaven, Fighting Violence with Sacrifice, and Tyranny of the Blessed Race along with Behind the Story trivia for each story.

My 280th book is done and out today!

Download for free on Smashwords - https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1614391

Chief to one of the largest beastmen kingdoms in the Americas, Leif is a destroyer and conqueror of his enemies. He is trying to break the God of the Catholics who is different than the other Christs, gods, and goddesses he's defeated, but will find that this God is his key to defeating one of his wives who turns against him and tries to ensnare the world in a dream through her spell.

The Humbling of the Chief of Sinners: Chapter 4 – The Only Way into a Prideful Heart

Chapter 4 – The Only Way into a Prideful Heart

All our allies, both reluctant and true, have gathered on all sides of a capital city that Priscilla has chosen to be her home. We’ve communicated our plans to one another through conjured messenger birds and have agreed that a pincer attack is the best course of action. From there, we go straight for her and end her spell once and for all. Leading the battle is none other than me because of the monstrance I have and its ability to dispel Priscilla’s magic, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Most of the people in the capital are sympathetic to Priscilla’s cause so I don’t have to hold back from slaughtering them all.

When the charge starts, we are met by a small army that defends the walls from the outside. This is no trouble for us, especially since we are supported by siege weapons, archers, and mages who take care of the guards on the walls and lessen their numbers before we reach them. Once we get our siege weapons to the gates, we use them to break it open and start the slaughter within the city, however, before my axe touches my next foe, everyone and everything disappears in a flash of light as Priscilla’s spell affects me and puts me in a void of dull gold.

“It’s over, Priscilla. Your forces are no match for us and we are in your city’s walls. Surrender now and I will make our time together more pleasure than pain,” I say.

Priscilla laughs while appearing from thin air and then says, “Did you really think I would allow those loyal to me to die so easily? No, you’re still in your camps getting ready for the fight while my forces remain alive and my walls are untouched. I just thought I would be nice and make you seem like you had a chance against me.”

Holding out the monstrance, I say, “That’s what you think.”

“Ha! Do you think God will allow you to use his power as if he’s a mere tool to be used? I don’t think he will.”

“He wants you stopped so I don’t see why he wouldn’t.”

A blast of light comes from the monstrance while Priscilla tries blasting it away with light magic of her own. In the struggle, the light of the monstrance overpowers Priscilla and evaporates her into nothing. The area around us changes into an empty throne room in a castle. Before me are the unconscious bodies of Priscilla’s followers and a pile of ash that is presumably her. I throw aside the monstrance as if it were common trash.

“Useless piece of junk,” I say while sitting on the throne. “Nevertheless, there are plenty more women out there to birth my heirs. In fact, there are women here I can start with.”

Before I can take off my armor and clothes, the scene around me changes back to a void of dull gold.

Priscilla laughs at me again, appears out of the void, and says, “I just wanted to mess with you one last time before my final victory over you. I actually wanted it to go on for longer so you could be more disappointed to learn it was all fake, but I couldn’t hold my laughter back any longer.”

I check for the monstrance and see that it’s disappeared and not even in the place where I dropped it.

“Don’t worry about the monstrance,” Priscilla continues. “I got rid of it so it won’t be a concern for me anymore. I don’t know what kind of magic you used through it to dispel my magic, but it doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters to me is bringing peace to the world and bringing my dreams to life. Evander was kind in that he allowed everyone to live in peace, however, I am not so kind and naïve. Some people like you don’t deserve peace and happiness. Instead, I’ll give you what you deserve.”

I feel my body, face, and limbs get cut and bludgeoned by invisible objects that destroy my helmet and armor. After, I see and feel myself being violently violated by women, men, and beasts of all kinds seemingly at the same time. This is the same kind of torture I put Priscilla through and I am incapable of breaking free from it while I hear her unending laughter in the background. I truly am defeated and there’s no way out of this. At least none that I can see.

The torture comes to an end after an undeterminable amount of time and I see my father fighting Priscilla. I am lying on the floor of a throne room while Priscilla’s servants make sure I am lying down while watching the fight. My father’s axes clash with Priscilla’s sword and shield while she uses magic to throw him off. On my father’s hip, I see the monstrance I once had.

“Leif!” my father says while turning his head to look at me and trying to fight at the same time. “I have to admit. I am a follower of the God of the Catholics and so was your mother. He came to us in our dreams and converted us from there. It’s why I trust Him so much and why I’ve been trying to get you to do the same. I’m sorry that I wasn’t forward about this before and for not being a better father.”

“If you truly worship God, then go back to sleep. I’ll give you a good dream this time if you do,” Priscilla says.

Ignoring what Priscilla said, my father continues, “I know what His purpose is for you now, and resign myself to His will. Please do as He says so I can see you in Heaven.”

My father throws me the monstrance that I catch just as Priscilla cuts his legs and then his head off. I am now in a black-and-gold void by myself and unrestrained. So, I’ve been reduced to this as my only choice to save my life?

“I’ve always been your only choice to save your life and your soul,” the God of the Catholics says.

Gritting my teeth, I say, “Fine then. Let’s do things your way.”

The void around me dispels and I find myself on a boat outside the capital city.

“Sail to the Vatican and inform the Pope of what is happening here. He’ll only get unconfirmed reports and rumors otherwise and won’t trust them since he personally knows Priscilla and thinks the best of her.”

“Okay,” I say as I ready the boat and then start sailing into the sea. “How am I supposed to know where to go without a map? I hardly even know how to sail a boat.”

“I will be your guide and your helping hand.”

“I hope you’re a good one and that my father was right to place his trust in you. I’ll get revenge on Priscilla. I swear it!”

“You’ll get your justice, not revenge.”

“Whatever. She’ll pay for the humiliating defeat that she gave to me.”

“It wasn’t a defeat.”

“How so?”

“Through your defeat, I have gained one of the most valuable treasures of all, a place in your heart, and soon, I will have all of it. You’ll come to see this as a victory through defeat in time.”

“Tch. If you say so.”

 

The End

The Humbling of the Chief of Sinners: Chapter 3 – Clawing for Victory

Chapter 3 – Clawing for Victory

Has my father always been this way? Did he change recently? His gold and black armor has a shine to it and his long grey hair and beard seem to glow with a golden glow as if his original hair color is trying to replace his greys. Also, his wings appear to be more like angel wings capable of actual fight. In contrast, my grey wings are incapable of flight and are used as sharp blades to cut those who try to come up behind me. The God of the Catholics has changed him in some way in front of my eyes, and I’ve somehow, never noticed it until now.

I’ve been biding my time to show that we don’t need the help of any God to beat Priscilla, but for now, I’ve been allowing him to gather allies for us and agreeing with him at almost every turn. This next course of action, however, I cannot agree with. I was fine with making allies with non-Catholics and other religious people whose gods and goddesses we dominated. Working with the Catholics is another issue as it is taking one step closer to serving their God. I should be hanging these people from hooks and hanging their young from their parent’s intestines. They should be groveling at my feet while missing their own and crucified like their God.

It's no wonder why my father made this tenuous alliance behind my back and isn’t allowing me to talk to their leaders or be near their people. He’s even taken the monstrance from me and given it back to the Catholics as a show of good faith. Even though the monstrance is far away from me, I can swear that I still hear the God within it mocking me. While thinking over what to do next, I’m unsurprised when everything around me disappears and changes into the golden scape indicative of Priscilla’s dream. We’ve heard reports of people willingly joining Priscilla, especially Catholics, so I expected something like this to happen. Evander was one of the most faithful and virtuous people and many people wanted to stay in the dream according to Priscilla, so Catholics wanting to subjugate the world into a dream that forces people to live in peace is something that the hypocrites would obviously want.

To be honest, this turn of events is good for me as it shows my father that the Catholics are not to be trusted. What’s better is the fact that Priscilla is sending various Christs, gods, and goddesses at me to fight. I have to give her extra love for this when I see her next. While fighting the gods, I think about the fights I previously had with them. Why did these die and were conquered so easily compared to the God of the Catholics? What makes their Christ different than the others?

The Christs of other denominations were like the gods and goddesses of other religions, but the Christ of the Catholics isn’t like them despite appearing to be like them in every way. What makes him different than the others? What makes the Catholics different than the other Christians and religions? What truth am I missing in this mystery? Who are you really?

“I am the way, the truth, and the life,” the God of the Catholics says in my head. “Through me, you will become your truest self. You seek a crown and I will give you the greatest crown there is, the thorned crown of love, that I wear as well. Take my hand and I will show you who I truly am and help you become who you truly are.”

Uncontrollably, I reach out to a bright light that has dispelled the other Christs, gods, and goddesses. I walk out of myself like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon. I grab something in the light, and by the time I wake up, I realize that I’m holding the monstrance high in the air with my father and the leaders of the Catholic settlement around me all of which who have stopped fighting one another.

“You’ve seen the light, my son,” my father says before hugging me.

Lightly pushing my father aside, I look down at the monstrance as I start to feel disgusted for having been used by the God of the Catholics. I can’t describe it, but something within me resonated with the God’s voice. He’s done something to me and staked his claim in part of my soul and I have to get rid of it somehow!

“I haven’t seen anything!” I say. “You shouldn’t trust these Catholics. Many of them fight against their own God’s wishes and have deceived us into walking into this trap.”

“Not all of them have done this. Seek out the ones with golden glowing eyes and kill those ones. I suspect that the fighting has only just begun.”

Sure enough, what my father says is true as everyone in the settlement has turned on one another with more people with golden glowing eyes entering the settlement. Heading into the fight, I let out my anger by splitting heads, cutting off limbs, and slicing off heads with my axe. Even though I was told to only kill those with golden glowing eyes, I swing my axe wildly and wider to catch a few of the other Catholics in them and pretend it was an accident or unavoidable because of the chaos of the battle. No God will make me look like a fool! I am a Nephilim! I am Leif, chief of the largest and most influential beastman kingdom of the Americas, and soon, of the world once Priscilla has been dealt with.

Once the battle is done, I go back to my father and the leaders of the settlement who have decided that they’re fine with working with us on the condition we work independently since they don’t exactly trust us because of us “accidentally” killing their own in the battle. My father gives me a dirty look and I shrug. Seeing as how this is his only option, my father accepts it and shakes hands with the leaders. We then take our leave, make camp on our way to our next destination, and rest for the night as the sun sets. While cleaning my weapons and armor, my father sits by me and looks into my eyes.

“Is something the matter, father?” I ask.

“I want to speak to you about our upcoming battle with Priscilla. We may have gathered many forces to face her, but her spell will make our numbers and strength meaningless,” he says.

“When has the spell of a woman ever stopped us from victory? We’ve beaten gods before, so I don’t see why this will be any different.”

“This is different because this spell affects us more mentally than physically and we need the help of a God to overcome it. Now, I see why the God of the Catholics has taken a liking to you, and today our path to victory was made manifest when I saw you hold up the monstrance and break Priscilla’s hold over our minds.”

“What are you saying? That I should allow the God of the Catholics to obtain victory for us?”

“It’s the only way.”

“I admit that his power has been useful, but I will not allow him to steal the glory that is due to me by defeating Priscilla. He may aid us, however, I will make the final blow and have the credit and glory for the victory.”

“You better hope that God allows it. He does not act according to anyone’s will or by simple human logic and reason. He’s something beyond that we’ve never experienced before.”

“I’ll be sure to be careful and make you proud, father. Our victory is inevitable as it always is.”

“You always make me proud, son. I’ll never be ashamed of you nor will I ever deny being your father.”

My father hugs me and then walks off. I heard your voice again in his, God of the Catholics. If you think you’ve won a place in me, then you’re wrong. Things will go back to normal tomorrow after my victory and our time of relying on you will be over. Mark my words.

The Humbling of the Chief of Sinner: Chapter 2 – Undeterred Spite

Chapter 2 – Undeterred Spite

While washing my grey bone armor, helmet, skull pauldrons, and wings in a lake, I reflect on what’s happened so far and plan ahead. So far, we’ve gone to our allied settlements only to find them in the same situation we were in, but some of their members under Priscilla’s influence had left with her. She clearly doesn’t have enough power to bring the entire world under her control and is gathering an army to protect her until she does. The most important question I have to answer is how to dispel her delusions.

“That is done with my help,” the God of the Catholics says. “Without me, you wouldn’t have broken free from that dream and would’ve been killed by your men.”

“And here I was thinking that you’d want me dead and burning in the pits of Hell,” I say.

“You still have a chance to save your soul if you do as I say. My faithful servant who helped break Evander’s spell over the world was much like you. He was a ratman ruled by feelings of lust and violence, but thanks to him allowing my place in his heart, we were able to free everyone from the spell. He even gave up eating human flesh so that he wouldn’t sin against me, despite knowing he was cutting off years of his life by doing so.”

“A ratman giving up on eating human flesh? That’s a new one. Here I thought those were just rumors made up by your Church. Still, I’m sure I’ll find a way to take down Priscilla on my own. You can help where you will, but I’ve faced people with godlike abilities before and conquered them all.”

“You’ve faced demons and only won because I’ve allowed it. Even if you refuse my help, I’ll find my way into your heart one way or another.”

“Keep telling yourself that as if makes you feel better. I’ll sooner overcome you and take your power for my own than allow you power over me.”

A scout comes to me, kneels, and says, “Elder King Olaf requests your attention, King Leif. We’ve made new discoveries about your wife.”

“So, my father did some independent scouting by himself without me knowing about it?”

“Yes, sir. He wanted to get as much information about her as quickly as possible before she can do more damage.”

“Your father is a wise man. You should question him on his motives,” the God of the Catholics says.

“You don’t need to tell me that,” I say, turning to the monstrance. “I know my father is wise and I don’t need to ask him about anything. I’m sure he’ll tell me whatever I need to know when I need to know it.”

I get out of the lake, put on all my armor, take the monstrance, and go to my father who is looking at a map marked with the locations of our allied settlements.

“What have you discovered, father?” I ask.

“More of our allied settlements are under siege by Priscilla than we thought, some of which are completely under her control and would’ve been traps to walk into. The situation is worse than it seems,” he says.

“I’m glad that you had the foresight to see if there were traps ahead. Without you, we would’ve walked into them and lost more of our men.”

“It was obvious to do, so don’t give me too much credit. What has the God of the Catholics told you? We can use all the help we need.”

“We don’t need his help. He told me to defer to you, anyway, and I want to prove to him that we don’t need his help.”

“He told you to defer to me? That’s an honor.”

“An honor? What happened to the father I knew that was the scourge of other men’s gods?”

“I still am, but the God you carry is one of the honorable ones if not the only honorable one. What happened to the son that learned from my wisdom? Friendships are to be preferred over domination. They are easy to manage and sometimes easier to obtain than the subjugation of enemies.”

“I’m sorry, father. I’ll be sure to keep your wisdom closer to my heart then. So, what’s our next course of action?”

“We do the same as Priscilla and gather allies before we attack her. She’s likely to have gathered more than we expected since she doesn’t seem to have stopped moving and gathering power and forcing people to join her.”

“I can’t imagine she would have that many people with her since she’s left people in their home settlements. Here I thought you would want to get revenge for our people, especially mother.”

“Your mother died peacefully and I know she’s in a better place, so despite her being killed, I, for some reason, don’t have feelings of vengeance.”

“Old age must be getting to you, father. Since you’ve lost your fire for vengeance.”

“Again, you forget my wisdom. Peace is to be preferred over war. It’s why we wage war. We subjugate and make allies so our people can live in peace.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry for my constant forgetfulness.”

“It’s okay, son. Do not wallow in defeat…”

“For defeat is only permanent if victory does not follow.”

“See? You aren’t as forgetful as you may think. Now, let us gather the allies where we can. Perhaps we can learn more and make new allies along the way.”

“As you say, father.”

My forces, father, and I move out and go from allied settlement to settlement searching for allies. Since my father is the wisest, I allow him to do most of the negotiating as he always does while chiming in here and there so that he doesn’t become too charitable in his promises, especially to the settlements we aren’t exactly friendly with. For example, I find it hard to promise old rivals protection and a time of peace, trade, and negotiation when the blood of our friends and family is on their hands. While negotiating, a fog of golden light overcomes us and makes it appear as if everyone and everything around me has disappeared.

“I don’t know how you broke free from my spell, but it doesn’t matter. I have an innumerable amount of obstacles that will stop you,” Priscilla says.

“Show yourself and you’ll see that I can overcome everything that you throw at me,” I say.

“Ha! As if I’ll allow that. Even though I’m miles away from you, my power can still reach your mind and allow me to use those around you to kill you and your allies.”

Around me are women of many sizes and races who have weapons in their hands.

“Do you think your tricks can control me? I’ll break free of this trick like I did the other!”

I don’t let my feelings of lust get to me and start slashing at the women who all swarm in an attempt to kill me.

“Stop it, Leif!” the God of the Catholics says.

“I don’t need your help! I can’t get out of this by myself!” I say.

“You’re killing your men! Listen to me!” a voice says, sounding like a combination of my father’s and the God’s.

“Father?”

The mixed voice continues to tell me to stop until it overpowers me, making me stop, and see that I was killing my own men. Many of the other people on the other side were killing each other as well, so at least I wasn’t the only embarrassment. My father is holding the monstrance I had that now seems to have a fading white glow to it. Because my father is recognized as the one who broke Priscilla’s spell over us, our rivals agree to help us, but from a distance, sending a messenger between us so that what happened here doesn’t happen again. Also, they don’t trust me and tell me to listen to my father more, as if I needed to be reminded of that.

It's the last thing on my mind as my father’s voice mixing with the God’s is my primary concern. Once we’re alone while camping on the road to the next settlement, I bring up what’s on my mind.

“I told you we could use a God’s help and if this God’s power can help us overcome Priscilla, then I don’t see the harm in accepting it,” my father says.

“Be careful with this God, father. This one wants a place in your heart and mind to claim you for his own,” I say.

“Do not worry about me. I can remain independent even when I help this God. Worry about your pride getting the better of you. We can’t win this battle alone against Priscilla, so you must learn to accept help from those who offer it and can give it.”

“Yes, father.”

During the night, I sleep alone as I have been sleeping for the past few nights. I don’t care to lie with any number of women despite my body desperately craving it and there being women in our group who wouldn’t mind it. Doing this gives me the drive to want to get to Priscilla faster to make her suffer for what she did to me and to violate her for many days and nights without rest. I won’t allow the God of the Catholics to be my crutch in my battle against her. Soon, I’ll find a way to overcome her on my own and show my father that I’m a stronger and smarter son than I seem.