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A traveling clown named Nelson has been helping people to make up for his dark past. He can sing to lift people's spirits and exorcise them of the demonic vainglory that have been corrupting the land. He'll meet up with another clown that runs a circus and even fall in love with her as they do what they are called to, but is their circus of clowns truly a wise weapon to use against the demonic?
Chapter 4 – The True Power of
the Humble
As we approach the meeting spot, it
is then that I wish I was more and had more so that I could’ve stopped this. I
wish my singing didn’t need to be heard for it to be effective, that I wasn’t
who I was in the past, and that my Heart Absolute ability was different. It is
also at this time that I realize that Polline is thinking much of the same
regrets. We look at each other and hold one another before finally coming to
the hill. The conceited show up soon after and surround us. Because they’re
around us, our feelings of regret increase and we are tempted to beg for our
lives and give our service to them in return for them. Along with it, the
feeling that restricts me from singing enters my throat.
“We won’t give in to you. You may as
well kill us,” I say.
“You won’t get your way in this. The
Absolute will win in the end,” Polline adds.
“So says the clowns, the literal
fools of the world,” one of the possessed conceited says, “Know that your
deaths will be used for a greater good. We already knew that you would tell the
man we gave you to get help, which is why we’ll kill you slowly and make
you an example for the others. Just know that we gave you a chance to become
yourselves and that you could’ve done more. Instead of being a circus of fools
doing nothing but being entertainment, you could’ve been king and queen of your
own kingdom making real changes for the world and yourselves.”
The possessed conceited then hold
out their hands and our bodies feel as if they are being sucked out of life and
being cut from the inside out. As our skin turns white and every part of our
body hurts, we feel indescribable amounts of pain while also feeling that we
aren’t dying fast enough to match the pain. Since we can do nothing, we hold
each other and bear the pain together. If this is what the Absolute wants us to
do, then we humbly accept this as our fate. Doing this numbs the pain somewhat
while not getting rid of it completely. Forgive them, Absolute, because they
don’t know what they’re really doing.
Agonizing minutes pass until we
begin to feel a strange sense of relief. Looking around us, we see that the
conceited are as confused as we are and whisper to themselves about something
until we see the vainglory leave their bodies one by one. As this is happening,
the appearance of the conceited slowly goes back to normal, however, they
scream in pain while this is going on. Neither Polline nor I know what to say or
do until it is done and all the conceited are passed out on the ground.
“What happened?” Polline asks.
“A miracle as far as I know,” I say
until I realize the answer, “It was the Absolute helping us through humility.”
“What you’re saying makes sense to
me for some reason, but what does it mean?”
“I think we were too reliant on our
Heart Absolute abilities and forgot that the Absolute is our only true weapon
against our enemies. Even though these conceited were foolish in trying to go
up against the truth, we were more foolish to forget where our strength came
from and that we shouldn’t worry no matter how hopeless things may seem.”
“I get it, but still don’t
completely understand it. How did putting us in this situation and making us
suffer do anything to the conceited?”
“That’s the thing with the Absolute.
You’ll never completely understand Him. That’s why we have to admit to being fools for all of our life. There’s always more to understand and because of
that, all the more reason to continue our pursuit of truth and to learn the
infinite depths of love.”
“The part about us being fools for
the rest of our life is true enough, but I’d at least like to think we’re wise
fools for picking the right path. Anyways, what should we do about these conceited?”
“Bring them back to be healed and
converted in heart. They are still alive after all, which means they still have
a chance at changing in the Absolute’s mind. We should get the people from the
town to help us carry them back.”
Polline and I meet the people of
the town and circus halfway back and they help us take the conceited to a
hospital church dedicated to the Absolute where they will be cared for. I have
my hopes that they will change since even a person like me did and I was worse
than they were. Even though the threat of the vainglory is temporarily halted,
there are sure to be more coming for us. Some people in town suggest routing
them out from the lands, but I suggest that we instead continue doing as we
have been assigned by the Absolute. This makes people uneasy and I even get
called stupid and idiotic for suggesting this, especially after what happened.
“Is it really foolish to do what truth
and love itself tell us to do?” I ask, “As we were, the conceited and vainglory
viewed us as a threat that needed to be destroyed. I say that we continue being
fools for the Absolute so we may continue being a thorn in the side of evil and
have victories against them such as today's. If the Absolute calls you to act,
then do so. We need people fighting against evil and finding the people that
the conceited kidnapped. If the Absolute calls you to be a baker, a farmer, or
even a clown like me, then you’ll be better in that role than that of a
soldier.”
People start agreeing with me and
then go about their business doing what they think the Absolute wants them to
do. As for Polline and I, we hold a special event at the circus to celebrate
our victory, the return of one of our clowns, and all that the Absolute has
given us. My part soon comes up, Polline begins to play her guitar, and I begin
to sing as the Absolute has moved me to do as my purpose in life. This new life
that I treasure by living in the present and leaving the past and future where
they belong.
“In the moment of despair
Nothing feels fair
Suffering is all there is to life
And it all hangs on the edge of a
knife
Lift the spirit of your hearts
Don't give up, even if it gets
worse
There is always another day
There's more to life than the dull
and gray
It will change one day or another
One day when you'll meet your true
lover
A day when we'll do more than hope
and pray
A day when all the evil and
suffering will go away
So hold onto me until then
And remember love and truth win in
the end
You gotta leave the past behind
All good things come in due time
It doesn't matter how things have
been
Today is not the end
Lift up the spirit of your hearts
Don't give up, even when all is
dark
There is always another day
There's more to life than the dull
and gray
It will change one day or another
One day when you'll meet your true
lover
A day when we'll do more than hope
and pray
A day when all the evil and
suffering will go away
So hold onto me until then
And remember love and truth win in
the end
Remember that no one is perfect
No one is free from defect
But remember how far you have come
There's nothing to run from
Pick yourself up
Don't let your heart go numb
Forget about the horror
Leave your worries behind and go
forward
There is always another day
There's more to life than the dull
and gray
It will change one day or another
One day when you'll meet your true
lover
A day when we'll do more than hope
and pray
A day when all the evil and
suffering will go away
So hold onto me until then
And remember love and truth win in
the end
Remember love and truth win in the
end”
*concept
art for the heart of fools. The heart of the blind fool is on the left and the
heart of the wise fool is on the right.
The End
*concept art for the vainglory
Chapter 3 – Manipulation by the
Self-Righteous Wise
For the next several days, Polline,
her circus, and I continuously put on performances that keep growing the crowd
and exorcising the evil from their hearts and the vainglory that try to ruin
our good times. In between shows, Polline and I get to know each other better,
plan out the future, and talk about our pasts. Everything seems to be advancing
nicely for us with Polline’s future being brighter and my past is filled
with good deeds and memories. One day, while we’re enjoying a day off. A song
comes to my heart and I feel it come to hers.
She starts by singing,
“Can we stay like this forever?
I'd give up everything for it
To never have you leave my arms
Or your taste to leave my lips
Let's forget about the future
Forget about the past
And live forever in the present
Just you and me”
Then together we sing,
“Leave the past behind
Leave the future ahead
We are in Heaven together at this
moment
Together as One Heart”
After that, I sing,
“You still surprise me with your
love
One that could embrace a fool like me
Forever I'll be indebted to you
Forever you'll have my heart
The future is nothing to worry
about
Act as if the past never happened
Breathe your life into mine
Make our two hearts, one”
And finally, we sing together,
“Leave the past behind
Leave the future ahead
We are in Heaven together at this
moment
Together as One Heart
Together hand in hand
Together through the pain
Together through the struggles
You and me through it all
But for now, forever starts now
And forever I will love you”
After the song, we kiss and embrace
each other.
“I really want my life to be like
this until the day I die. This is the happiest I’ve been in my entire life,”
Polline says.
“This is the happiest I’ve ever
been too,” I say without wanting to say anything else.
Even though the song we sang made
us feel even better, the silence of being with one another in each other’s arms
is better in a way that no words could describe or make better. At this moment,
it’s as if we are experiencing a taste of the true peace that’s only found in
the afterlife with the Absolute in the Land of the True. Some time passes before
we are interrupted by the news of another person from the town going missing.
People have been disappearing as of late surely because of the vainglory and
the conceited. We’ve tried to let the people who can do something about this do
their part while we do ours, but after so many disappearances that include
people from our circus, Polline and I have decided to make ourselves vulnerable
so that we can confront these kidnappers.
Sure enough, when we go to the
place the disappearance happened by ourselves, a group of people comes out. They
appear normal; however, I can see the vainglory’s hold over their hearts. These
people radiate a faint dull gold and greyish white from them. I feel a strange
cold warmth in their hearts that also gives off a light that darkens all around
them. Feeling these things makes my own heart feel cold and I can feel that
Polline feels much the same. I’m about to sing their demons away until I feel something in my throat that stops me.
“Don’t bother trying. We can negate
the effects of your Heart Absolute abilities. How do you think we took care of
everyone we kidnapped?” one of the vainglory says in a dual voice.
Looking over at Polline, I can see and
feel that she’s completely terrified and frozen in her fear. I don’t blame her
for feeling this way. My voice was the only thing keeping back and exorcising
the vainglory and our success, and if they can silence me so easily, then what’s
the use of continuing?
“Don’t let them scare you,” I tell
Polline, “We can fix this.”
“You can,” one of the possessed
conceited admits, “You can fix this by giving yourselves up to us. If you do
this, we will leave your circus and town alone. If you don’t, more people will
disappear and end up like this.”
One of our missing clowns is thrown
to the ground in front of us. His body is as white as snow and clothed in dirty
rags that appear to have dried blood on them. His eyes are completely white as
well with bits of red, which I’m sure isn’t the same color as before.
“Why are you doing this?!” Polline asks.
“Why? Because it’s the right thing
to do what’s in your nature.”
“You what?”
“Am I wrong? You people who follow
the Absolute say the same, so is it so wrong for us to do the same? The biggest
difference between us is our abilities and the tactics we use. You worship one
truth while we worship many. You have one trick to get rid of us and we have
many more we haven’t shown you. It’s better to have many gods and ways to get
rid of your enemy rather than just one solution, is it not?”
“Don’t argue with them, Polline. They’re
too foolishly full of themselves to listen,” I say.
“You call us fools, but you’re on
the verge of defeat. We’re being kind in offering you a way to end or continue
this on your own terms and know the strength of your enemy and how easily we
can beat you when before, you knew nothing about us and could do nothing to
stop us.”
“You can talk about how wise and
strategic you are somewhere else. Just leave us alone.”
“We’ll leave you alone to make your
decision. You have an hour to decide. If you want to give yourselves up for the
sake of everyone, then go to the hill that’s not too far north of this spot. It’s
about an hour’s walk away.”
“Sure. Now, leave us alone.”
“We will, but first, let me leave
you with these thoughts to help you hasten your decision. We know who you
really are, Nixon. You can’t hide behind your façade any longer. You were once
the king that had the world on its knees and after your disgraceful defeat, you
disgraced yourself even further with your dedication to the Absolute. It’s
honestly fitting that you made yourself into a clown.”
Don’t let them get to you. Don’t
let them get to you!
“You, Polline, remember that no
matter what, conflict and hard times will find you as they do now and nothing
can stop them. If you were like us, then you could’ve done something about it,
but you decided to be like this fool and didn’t give up your worthless circus.
With that said, we hope to see what you decide soon.”
Soon after that, the conceited walk
away and leave us alone. Polline immediately falls to her knees and starts to
cry, and I embrace her to numb her pain. The feeling in my throat disappears
allowing me to sing again, but there’s no use for it now.
“I’m sorry for not being able to do
anything. I’m also sorry that you had to finally hear my true name and what I did,”
I say.
After Polline is calmed down, she
says, “I don’t care about that. I’ve never heard your real name before nor does
it matter. Think about what could happen if we do or don’t go to them. Will we
be able to fight them without your singing? Will they stay true to their word
if we do go to them?”
I guess I shouldn’t have expected
the reveal of my real name to provoke any real reaction to her. No one knew I was
ruling a conceited kingdom because I kept myself in the shadows and my ability
to manipulate people with my words a secret to all but my inner circle.
“Thinking about that isn’t going to
help. We have to stay focused on the present and what we’re going to do now
that we know that my singing won’t work on them.”
Suddenly, the man given back to us
wakes up startling both of us.
“I’m sorry about that. They did
something to me that made me go to sleep and continuously suffer while I was
asleep. It was horrible,” the man says.
That’s an ability I’m far too
familiar with and I am almost tempted to think that one of the conceited was a
friend that I knew, but after remembering their faces, I’m glad that none of
them were him.
I shake off the flashes of what I did
to my friend and how I used him to torture people for me, and then say, “I’m
glad you’re still alive.”
“I overheard what you said about
your ability not working. One of them can seize up parts of your body. They can’t
actually negate the effects of your Heart Absolute ability.”
“The truth of it doesn’t really
matter if I can’t use it. They told us that we had to go to them or everyone
will continue to suffer.”
“I’ve seen what they’ve done and it
also shows on me, but don’t let it scare you. We can still find a way to stop
them. There has to be a way. The Absolute wouldn’t abandon us.”
“That’s right, but we have to do something
now while we have the chance. I think we should meet them. Polline?”
“…I guess it’s our only option. It’d
be better for us to sacrifice ourselves for everyone to keep them safe.”
“If you guys are going, then I am
too.”
The injured man tries to stand but
finds it hard to.
“You need to go back and get yourself
some help.”
“No, I can’t just let you do this.
The pain they’ll inflict on you will make you feel like you chose the wrong
option and regret giving yourself up. That’s what they made me feel like even
though I didn’t want to give into despair. You two are the pillars of our
family and an inspiration for those who come to the circus. You show people
that there’s real value in the truth and true love. Without you, I don’t know
what we’ll do.”
“How about this. You go back, get
help, and tell everyone what’s going on so that they can come and help us.”
“I don’t know if that’s the best-”
“There’s no time to disagree! Go!”
“Okay, okay! Be safe you two!”
The man heads off as best he can
back to town leaving Polline and me alone. After a few seconds, I get up and
help Polline stand up.
“You ready for this?” I ask her.
She kisses, embraces me, and breathes
out before saying, “Now, I am. As ready as I can be at least.”
Together, Polline and I head off while
holding each other’s hand to the meeting spot hoping for the best and bracing
for the worst.
Chapter 2 – A Clown like Me
“We’re here. Safe and sound,” the
carriage driver says.
“Thank you for the ride,” I say.
“Good luck in your endeavors and
don’t forget that I’ll give you a free ride if you need it!”
“I’ll be sure to.”
It’s not like I need free rides
since the people I help generously tip me and I have worked for places that
have hired me to sing and paid me well for doing so. Now that I mention it, it’s
the primary reason why I’m here. I heard there was a circus around here called
the Circus of Fools that’s been helping people but has fallen stale in recent times
and the people around the area have suffered as a result. It’s also said that
the leader of this circus is a musician so our Heart Absolute abilities may
revitalize the people in this area when combined. After talking to the people in
the area, it’s not hard to find it.
To be honest, I could’ve wandered
around for a bit and still managed to find it. This is because of all the
colorful lights that shine from it and how big the rainbow tent is. There are clowns
outside of the tent that entice people to come in by using their abilities to
impress. One person can multiply themselves three times, another can summon
many animals to perform tricks in the air, and yet another can make fireworks
come out of their hands to form pictures in the sky. Seeing these and many more
talents shown off here reminds me of the uniqueness in everyone and what the Absolute
has given them. It also reminds me that the people here using Heart Absolute
abilities are another thing that makes them unique as not many people in the neutral
zone have access to them yet. I’ve also heard of circuses and carnivals ran by
the conceited, but those are usually fronts for some kind of malicious activity or
just done to make money rather than to entertain and serve their customers.
Unlike the conceited, the people here have been crowned by their customers and
the Absolute whereas the conceited have crowned themselves with false glory.
Huh? In the distance, I can hear
the faint sounds of a person strumming a guitar. That must be the owner playing
her instrument. It’s said that her Heart Absolute ability is to enhance the
talents of others, however, I also feel a pull from her music. No, that’s not
right. I think it’s the Absolute pulling me in her direction. As I am able to
read hearts, I can also sometimes feel or hear the call of the Absolute when He
wants me to go in a certain direction.
Sure, enough when I find the leader
of the circus, my heart feels moved in a way that feels unnatural and natural
at the same time. The leader of the circus is a woman dressed as a clown in
black and white with a small crown on her head and a black and white guitar in
her hands. When our eyes meet, it’s like the feeling of completing a puzzle
long overdue. For a few moments, we stare at each other in silence as our
hearts communicate and we try to decipher the meaning of this setup.
“You must be Nelson,” she calmly
says.
“Good guess. How did you know?” I
ask while taking a seat in the room.
“Your heart told me. Also, there’s
word of a clown named Nelson with half his face painted two shades of red and
his hair being orange and light gold going around helping people and exorcising
the vainglory, so I’m sure a lot of people in this part of the world would easily
be able to recognize you.”
“And if your heart is telling me
correctly, you’re Polline. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“What do I owe the honor of a celebrity
like you visiting this humble circus?”
“I heard you are in need of help,
so I’m answering the call.”
A look of joy fills Polline’s face.
“That’s so great to hear! Name your
price.”
“Just enough for the basic necessities
and a place to rest my head. I won’t ask for much, especially since I hardly
deserve what I have now.”
“I’ve heard you’re on a path of
penance and I’ve also heard that you’d done enough to make up for what you’ve
done.”
“I wouldn’t say that I’ve made up for
everything. The past still haunts me to this day.”
“It’s nothing you should worry
about since it’s already set. To be frank with you if I can, the future is what
scares me.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s always uncertain. You
may have planned everything out, but something comes up that you didn’t or
wouldn’t know to account for and it ruins your plans. For example, I thought I could
keep growing this circus and keep the people in the area happy, and then the
vainglory grew their influence, took a lot of people away from me, and
poisoned the lands with their conceited followers.”
“But we can do something about it
now, especially with my singing.”
“Yes, and I am overjoyed and
thankful for you and the Absolute’s graces. Still, it seemed like the vainglory
would have their way and our circus would close within the year or sooner given
how rapidly their influences have been spreading.”
“This is why you shouldn’t worry
about the future. Something bad may come along, but something good will
eventually too. That’s why I have my hope in the future. With the past,
everything is set and you can’t do anything to change it.”
“But that’s what I like about the
past. It’s already set. You now know what not to do and what you should do and
are able to do something with that. The future, however, can never be
completely set no matter how much is done to secure it.”
“How about we agree to leave the
past and future in the Absolute’s hands?”
“I’m trying my best to do that. Easier
said than done.”
“I know. That’s why we should focus
on the present. Together and tonight, we do our best to leave the past behind
us and make our future bright. What do you think?”
“I think that’s a great idea. Read
my mind to the letter actually. Do you have a good song planned for today too?”
“I do. I’ll go over it with you so
you’ll know how to play.”
“Let’s get some practice in then.”
While practicing, Polline and I
find that we don’t really need as much practice as we think. Since we’re able
to tell what the other heart is doing, we perform nearly in sync as if we were members
of the same band reuniting to play an old song we made together. It feels incredibly
natural to play with her and our hearts sing together almost as if…almost as if
our hearts were made for one another. This revelation comes to us at the same
time to the point where I think I hear her realize it in my own heart and mind.
We stare at each other unable to know what to say to each other until one of
the clowns comes to tell us that the show is going to start soon. Together, we
think that we’ll talk about this after the show.
More people than usual appear at today’s
show since word of my arrival has spread throughout the town according to one
of the clowns. Well, I guess I have to do better than my best to live up to my
reputation. I also must do great for Polline. The sight of the large crowd is
lifting her heart as if it is flying while the fear of letting them down is
keeping it from taking flight entirely.
Putting my hand on her shoulder, I
say, “We won’t let them down.”
“You’re right,” Polline says as she
grabs her guitar and her spirits lift, “Let’s give them a show they’ll never
forget.”
With that and Polline’s beginning
guitar solo, the show begins. Many of the clowns do their acts as I start to
sing.
“Welcome one and all!
Pick yourselves up and stand tall!
Behold our marvelous celebration
Full of happiness and wonderous
sensations
We are the mad,
We are the glad,
We are lovers of the truth,
We are the rebellious youth
All are welcome to the Circus of
Fools
Full of sinners, we don't follow
their rules
Stand up for your rights,
Don't fear the night
We fight side by side
Come with us on this wild ride
In this Circus of Fools
Welcome all extremists
Welcome all the outcasts
Don't let them get to you, don't
let them take your heart
By our love, we set ourselves apart
We are the mad,
We are the glad,
We are lovers of the truth,
We are the rebellious youth
All are welcome to the Circus of
Fools
Full of sinners, we don't follow
their rules
Stand up for your rights,
Don't fear the night
We fight side by side
Come with us on this wild ride
In this Circus of Fools
We're freaks in their eyes
Because we don't believe their lies
Keep celebrating truth and love
Be yourself, a shining light from
above
Because we're a Circus of Fools
Nobody's tools”
The crowd cheers and claps while
standing and jumping in excitement. Polline’s heart is flying without anything
holding it down and I feel much the same. Soon after, the ending performances
play out, but the people want an encore, so Polline and I give them one by
singing the same song again and all the clowns join in by doing their performances but better and more extravagant. All throughout
our performance, I can feel people’s hearts lighten like Polline’s and even the
hands of the vainglory leave them as well. The vainglory have sent their spies
here to check on us. I’ll have to tell Polline about this, which I’m sure she’ll
want to talk about as well. After the encore is done and the crowd leaves, most
of the clowns go back to their tents to rest and celebrate a job well done
while some stay behind to clean up.
Polline hugs me and says, “Thank
you so much! This is the best turnout and reaction we got from the crowd in
months. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I’m happy to have made it happen,
but you and everyone else also did their irreplaceable part. Now I know why you
and your family of clowns are so popular and loved. Where will I be staying
tonight?” I ask.
“You’ll be staying in my room. I
mean. We don’t have any more tents or beds because we need to buy one for you,
so that’s where you’ll have to stay.”
“Your room?”
“Yes. You’ll be sleeping on the couch,
so don’t be getting any impure ideas.”
“I’m fine with that and there are
no impure thoughts in my mind.”
Polline and I go into her room. She lays
on her bed while I lay down on the couch both of us tired, but still filled
with a seemingly unending happiness that fills us with energy that makes us feel
like we can do the performance all over again.
“So, the conceited and the
vainglory were here,” I say cutting straight to business.
“Yeah, but they didn’t manage to do
anything this time,” Polline says, “They usually sour our performances somehow
with their corrupting presence or some cursed power that they have. With you on
board, I feel like they’ll never ruin our performances again and this land of
lukewarm people will finally be purified.”
Land of the Lukewarm definitely sounds
like a better name for this land than the neutral zone.
“They’ll probably send more people
now that you’re a stronger threat to them.”
“It’s true that I feel worried
about that, however, we’ll deal with them when the time comes. For now, we’ll
rest in our victory and keep giving great performances for the people.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s all we can do
for now.”
Dinner is brought to us by a clown
couple that can cook and we eat together.
“I’m curious,” Polline says.
“Curious about what?” I ask.
“The feeling between our hearts. I
know you feel it too. I’ve even heard you think about it as if your thoughts
were my own. Isn’t that what happens between people who love one another?”
“Technically, anyone can read the
heart of another, but it’s easier for people who can read and heal the hearts
of others.”
“But is that all that it is between
us? Our hearts interacting with one another feels like second nature.”
“I know. I…I’m finding it hard to
admit what I know.”
“Why’s that?” Of all the things I’ve
done, why does this feel like the hardest thing I’m about to do? “I know what
you mean.”
“I guess my back is against the
wall with no way out, huh? Yes, our hearts were made for each other and not in
a friends forever or familial sort of way. Our hearts are meant to be…”
“Romantically in love.” How could
someone like me deserve someone like her? “Why do you think that?”
“Because of my past. I know I shouldn’t
let it put me down, but I can’t help the feeling.”
“If you want to talk about feeling
unworthy of something, then let’s talk about my past. I came from two parents
dedicated to the Absolute. My father played the bass while my mother played the
piano. The two sang and played with other performers for a small crowd in our
town and they’re still probably playing for the same crowds to this day. I,
some of the children of their friends, and more decided to follow our hearts
like they did, and somehow, we have bigger crowds. What we do differently is lost
on me either than our different abilities. All of us feel like our fame should’ve
been given to our families first, and yet, here we are and the crowds of our
families have hardly grown at all.”
“The Absolute decides who holds
power, who is famous, and who isn’t regardless of effort, talent, and wisdom.”
“Isn’t that all too true? Now, I
won’t look into your heart to see the exact things that you’ve done, I can hardly
sense them since your penance has wiped out most traces of it. Just promise me
that you won’t let it bother you.”
“I promise you that. Will you
promise me that you won’t let the future bother you?”
“I promise you.”
Our hearts somehow feel closer than
ever and because of it, Polline and I kiss. For the rest of the night, we sit
on the couch enjoying each other’s company, talking about funny and fun
memories, until we fall asleep on one another. A perfect ending to a perfect
day.
Chapter 1 – Path of the Fool
“I play Fusion of Two Virtues to
combine Lux and Nox to summon Dominus, Lord of Light and Dark from my deck. In addition,
I give up half of my hit points so that Dominus has over eight thousand attack.
Your move,” my friend says with a smug expression on his face.
This game still confuses me will
all its summoning and how certain decks work. It’s why I like playing simple
decks even if they aren’t the most powerful. My mind went blank not too far
back with how many cards my friend activated to get to this point in the game.
His smug expression must mean that he’s confident that he’ll win. I vaguely
remember him telling me that he can use Dominus’ effect to sacrifice the cards in
his hand to negate the effects of the same card type that I use. Oh, well. I
guess it’s time to trust in the providence of the cards as they say.
“I play Pot of Lucious Excess to
draw two cards,” I say.
“Not so fast. I use Dominus’ effect
and get rid of my magic card from my hand so you can’t use it,” my friend says
as if he just won.
“Okay, I play another Pot.”
“You’re lucky I don’t have another
magic card to sacrifice.” I draw two cards and then two more cards and then
another two cards. “Wait, you can only draw two cards, not six.”
“Well, the card says I can draw two
cards. It doesn’t say how many times I can draw two cards.”
“Hold on, that’s not how-”
“And now I’ve drawn all the pieces
of the Almighty and win as a result of its effect.”
“Alright, alright. I see that you need
more time to get used to this game. We’ll try playing with another deck of
mine. See how you like that one.”
“I’m sorry, but you know I must
leave town for now to help others who are in need.”
“I know that. Can’t you stay a bit
longer? You can’t keep going from place to place all the time. You’ll
eventually have to rest.”
“I know, but I still have many
evils that I must atone for and I feel a calling in my heart to keep going. Something
is going to happen soon enough. I can feel it. The Absolute is pulling me
forward to a breakthrough.”
“I’d believe it better if the
Absolute weren’t pulling you in this neutral territory where neither the Church
nor the conceited kingdoms rule.”
“The Absolute works everywhere in
the world even if it isn’t obvious.”
“It’s obvious for people like you
with Heart Absolute abilities. For normal folk like me, it hardly is.”
“You’ll get your Heart Absolute
ability soon. I can feel it in your heart.”
“I hope that’s the case.”
“It is the case. I’ll see you
around, friend.”
“See you later, Nelson. Be sure to
stop by my house first so we can even the score between us.”
“I’ll be sure to.”
When I walk outside the bar, I am
immediately greeted by the people I’ve helped, to which I say my goodbyes. They
wish me well and hope that I come back soon. I’ll likely come back sooner than
they think since I’ve mostly been traveling between certain towns, settlements,
and farms for the past five months. When I walk outside the bar, I am
immediately greeted by the people I’ve helped, to which I say my goodbyes. They
wish me well and hope that I come back soon. I’ll likely come back sooner than
they think since I’ve mostly been traveling between certain towns, settlements,
and farms for the past five months. There are more places than most that I'd
like to go back to. Not every place has nice people, which is to be expected in
the neutral zone, however, there are some places that I'd rather not revisit
for now because I messed up in helping them and would go back when the
wounds of the past are healed.
Speaking of that, I still have much
to make up for. Thinking of what I specifically did just complicates things.
What's the use of remembering the mistakes of the past anyway? They only bog
down my efforts to erase the consequences of them. I've already done a good job
of making a new name for myself. The Nelson of old is dead and gone while the
Nelson of today is a completely different man. At least I hope that this is the
case.
“Help! We need...help...” a man
says that's coming my way.
On the way out of town, I see a
group of injured people limping in. No, they aren't injured in the physical
sense. They appear to have been attacked by the vainglory judging by the black
spots on their skin and erratic behavior. Many in the town back away from them
and look at me. Okay, I get it. Here are more people that the Absolute has
given to me to heal. Walking to the possessed, I keep a safe distance as they
keep walking forward.
“I can help. Just try to control
yourself while I do,” I say.
“We'll try. What are you going to
do from there?” one of them asks.
I can hear the voices of the
vainglory tempt their hearts and tempt mine. They tell me that I'll fail and
that I'm no good to anyone. It's all nonsense and I have to stop listening to
them.
“You'll see or rather hear.”
With all the confidence and care my
heart can muster, I begin to sing a song.
“Try and try again
Failure is not the end
Forget about what happened back
then
Leave your mistakes behind and
ascend
A new day is here
A second chance is given
What we need to do is clear
Be brave and don't give in
My help is always near for you
There is nothing to fear
Now is the time to be true
Because you are held dear
I know the past is like a chain
And life is difficult without a
friend
But there is much to gain from the
pain
All wounds will one day mend
A new day is here
A second chance is given
What we need to do is clear
Be brave and don't give in
My help is always near for you
There is nothing to fear
Now is the time to be true
Because you are held dear
It won't be easy, life is a fight
There's always more work to do
But we can make things right
And begin brand new”
The dark spots on the possessed disappear
as well as the hands of the vainglory on their hearts.
“Thank you so much! You’re the
answer to our prayers sent from above!” one of them says as they hug me.
Many in the town behind us cheer over
the results of the successful exorcism and tell me I should stay to celebrate.
I deny it and let them know that I need to help many more like them, which they
reluctantly accept and let me go. Still, I can’t escape the gifts of the town
as the carriage driver I pay to take me to the next town wants to give me a
free ride there.
“You either take the offer or you walk,”
the carriage driver says.
“Okay, fine. Thank you,” I say.
“It’s my pleasure after all you’ve
done for me and mine.”
There’s no use arguing with this
guy, so I keep quiet, sit back, and enjoy the ride while trying to get some
shut eye. Some time passes before I feel a hand wake me up. Looking around, I
see the driver still focusing on the road and no other passengers in the
carriage. I know this guy would take wanderers to safe places if they were
lost, but it looks like I was just imagining things.
Before I go back to sleep, the
driver says, “You should stop by someplace nice next. You deserve it.”
“Thank you, but I have a lot more work
to do before I do that,” I say.
“No, I insist. You have no mistakes,
no evils to do penance for. You never did.”
“What makes you say that?”
Something’s wrong. My senses are
dull even as I try to wake myself up.
“You were right to claim power the way
you did. Don’t you long for the days when your voice manipulated rather than
exorcised or raised spirits?”
“No. How do you know so much?”
“I just know. I also know that you
treated your subjects as they were meant to be treated, as tools for the
betterment of humanity.”
“No, you’re wrong.”
My strength is slowly returning.
Just a little longer until I can do something about this guy.
“Am I? You’ve had me driving you
around the same towns, helping the same people, solving the same problems, and
only now are you going somewhere different where you will likely do the same
thing. The Church and its faithful are incompetent and hardly do anything to
help these people because the land isn’t under their control. If you were in
charge, things would be different and better. You know it’s true.”
“Silence, demon. I won’t listen to
your lies.”
The driver turns around revealing
the dull light shining from his eyes. He’s possessed by a vainglory for sure.
Seeing the man’s eyes makes me want to believe him and think that I could
change the land if I were in charge, but I’ve already proved in my past that
it's not true. The song I want to sing is stuck in my throat as if it were a stone.
I silently pray for the strength to get it out and eventually it does.
“Fill my heart, True Love
Descend upon my heart from above
Claim it for your own
Make it your throne
Correct my wrongs
To you, do I belong
Fill me with true light and dark
So that I may play my part”
After singing the short prayer, the
vainglory leaves the man’s heart, takes away its hands from mine, and goes back
to the hellish Land of the Forgotten where it belongs.
Now that the man has his mind and
heart back in his control, he jolts as if waking from a nightmare, and then
says, “Are you okay, Nelson?! I’m sorry I let that thing get to me.”
“It’s alright. I’m used to them
trying to catch me when I’m sleeping,” I admit.
“I’ll be on guard better this time.
I swear it.”
“I know you will. Just try not to
excessively worry. They’ll get to you that way.”
“Of course, of course.”
Maybe I should take my own advice.
I always say not to worry about my past, but the demons of it come back to
remind me of it and I’m tempted to go back to my old false self. The neutral
zone would be better if I could-No! I’m not going to do it again. I’m not going
to let my past define my future. As long as I keep doing what I’m doing, the
old me will never come back. I’ll never become that falsehood again, and the
ruin I’ve brought to the world will be healed.
I’ve gotta keep my hopes up. I’ve gotta stop thinking about what causes me to worry and get some rest. Still, the vainglory in this area is a problem and no matter how many I exorcise and convert people so that they can defend themselves against the demonic, they still are a problem. Perhaps this is how I earn my redemption by dedicating my life to the purification of this land. The future is where my salvation lies and it’s always getting closer with every breath. I only wish it can come sooner.
