A Union of Hearts: Repairing the Familial Pillar: Chapter 2 – The Cross of Being Supportive

*concept art of Estella

Chapter 2 – The Cross of Being Supportive

“Are you okay, Estella?” Absalom asks me.

It takes a moment for me to respond as I look back upon the ruins of the capital and our home.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I say.

He gives a reassuring smile and nod before looking forward and keeping his eyes open for any threats on the road. Right now, I’m sitting on a horse-drawn wagon with other people as everyone in the capital leaves it along with everything necessary we need. After so many attacks, our capital and home are nothing but ruins and wreckage. The prince and princess have talked to a nearby city so that we can live in it for the time being until our enemies are defeated and homes rebuilt. It’ll take a while to get there. I wish we could have a person who could teleport us to the next city, but apparently, all the people who can do it are busy helping other kingdoms and people around the world who are in similar situations to us.

This is not to say that I don’t trust the protection of the prince and princess and our army as we make this long and dangerous trip. I just feel worried about the safety of everyone who can’t defend themselves and most of all, I feel useless. Even my daughter, Mia, can defend herself and others and is now part of the force defending the carts thanks to proving herself in the recent battles. She stands proud with her father and is attentive just like him. My singing has helped them though, which they say was integral in us surviving the enemy's attacks. Of this, I have no doubt. Through my ability, I can feel the hearts of those that my singing affects rise in strength.

The princess and those who act as support for others have the ability to feel the hearts of others, and others, such as the princess, can even tell the destination of a heart to see if it goes to the heavenly Land of the True or the hellish Land of the Forgotten. My Heart Absolute ability isn't as grand as hers and is much simpler. I try to treasure it and believe that my singing does do good, but the temptation to doubt its helpfulness is always there. There was hardly a use for my singing before I met Absalom. I sang for those that I prayed for, the weak, the dying, and the soldiers fighting for our kingdom. After we met, the power of my singing increased and I felt as if my life's purpose was found. Still, I don't feel completely satisfied.

Perhaps it's why the Absolute brought Absalom and me together. Both of us want to do more for the people we love and feel like we can never do enough. Mia shares much of the same feeling as a result. It's a blessed curse as some say so that we remember to always rely on the Absolute and that we can never truly do enough for those we love. Instead, we must always do something for them no matter how small. These things are what I believe, know to be true, and what I keep telling myself to stay positive and not sulk in my own weakness. Despite me fighting these temptations, how I feel still shows on my face and it seems like Absalom and Mia have noticed as they look at me and whisper to themselves.

“Why don’t you sing and lift everyone’s spirits, Estella?” Absalom suggests.

“Yeah, show them what you can do!” Mia cheers me on.

Looking at the people in my cart, a couple of them are attentive waiting for me to sing while a few others seem disgusted. There are some in the kingdom who still distrust Absalom because of his past and even call me and Mia cursed to die a horrible death because of what happened to his first three wives and children. Nervous, I look back to Absalom and Mia who smile and nod at me. Well, if anything happens, I’ll at least have them to protect me. As I start to sing, I can feel the hearts of those that I sing for.

Many are stressed and many more are on the edge of despair. I am thankful that there are those including my family and the prince and princess appreciate what I can do while trying not to be offended by those that don’t want the comfort of my singing. In terms of my songs, I haven’t created any original poems, songs, or melodies of my own nor do I sing songs with lyrics since I find it difficult to remember all the lyrics exactly and when I mess up, I mess up the effectiveness of my singing. Because of this, I sing melodies without any actual lyrics.  Eventually, some who have hardened hearts relax and the air around us seems to slowly be relieved of the tension in it. That is until one of the people I’m singing for is disturbed by some people approaching us, which stops me from singing.

From where I am, I see a group of cloaked wanderers approaching us with many bags on their backs and hands. They seem like the homeless I’ve seen before who entered our capital seeking our home because of the conceited, however, they start to change when they are in the middle of our group. Many people come out of each person as if the person had portals to other places in almost every part of their body. In addition, the trees around us transform into groups of people all of which attack us. Soon after the same accursed dark fog that’s been kidnapping people falls over us as Absalom, Mia, and the other defenders try to fight off the attack. Despite their best efforts, the fog grows thicker and thicker until everything around me is darkness and I can’t even see my hands in front of my face.

The darkness eventually lifts and the noise of fighting subsides. I’m comforted for a second before realizing that I’ve been teleported somewhere completely different away from where I was, and I must be far away because I don’t hear anything around me not even the sounds of the ambush I was in.

“Absalom! Mia!” I call out.

For some reason, I think they’ll hear me. It’s useless. There’s no choice for me but to wander through the woods to find my way back to my family. The hearts of family are connected by an invisible thread that not many know how to use. I have some experience with being able to use these threads especially since I’m able to touch the hearts of people. There was one time I found Mia when wandered off to fight some kids who badmouthed her father and bullied her friends. Absalom scolded her for defending him but not so much for defending her friends. Remembering what it felt like to follow the thread, I use the faint feeling of it to find my way back to my family.

It's not long after wandering do I hear the noises of someone else in the forest with me. Unsure of who it is, I hide behind one of the trees to see who it is. A woman dressed in shadows glides through the shadows looking in every direction. She looks to be conceited because of the hole I can see in her chest and her grey and black eyes.

“Come out, wife of Absalom, and I will make sure that your family receives a place of honor in our kingdom. In fact, your family may be all we need to win this battle against the Absolute,” the woman says.

She knows who I am. It’s no wonder why I got teleported out here.

“I know you’re around here,” she continues, “The shadows are my domain. Even if you get far, I’ll bring my fog upon you and bring you back to me. Make this easier for both of us. I have a family of my own to take care of.”

That doesn’t make what you’re doing justified in any way. Right now, I’m slowly trying to get away from her even as she teleports from shadow to shadow in an instant.

“If that’s how you’re going to be, then so be it.”

The dark fog spreads from the woman’s mouth and covers everything around me in darkness. I can’t see and I’m defenseless without my family. My Heart Absolute can’t help me here…unless…maybe if I can touch her heart and convince her to stop. Since I have no other choice, I take this option and start singing and focus on touching her heart rather than amplifying her strength.

“What is this? What are you doing? Is this your way of saying that you surrender?”

“No, it isn’t. I feel your pain and your fear,” I say while I am able to sing at the same time.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“But what are you afraid of? Will something happen to your family if you don’t take my family?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“But you did mention that you have a family to take care of. What will happen to them if you fail? Perhaps my kingdom can free them.”

“Your kingdom and God can do nothing. It’s more complex than just my kingdom and its allies.”

“Through the Absolute, all is possible such as me knowing the truth within your heart. You want to believe that we can help so let us.”

The woman appears right in front of my face and almost stops me from singing.

“You’re nothing compared to them, my masters that have enslaved and slaughtered many. You do not know their strength or their cruelty.”

“I can know it through your heart. I sense the fear for your children and husband. They’re in…much pain.”

“How do you know that?!”

“Because your heart is connected to theirs. What’s happening to them?”

“Why do you care?!”

“Because I care about the suffering of others, unlike your masters. You can tell me what’s happening to them and we’ll help. Feel the honesty and conviction in my heart.”

“…what you’re feeling is just a taste of the suffering I know. The men work twelve hours a day with little time to breathe in between. Children are indoctrinated and work much like the adults and are punished like adults if they resist. Women are prevented from having too many children or are used as breeding stock to have more. Everyone is punished severely for mistakes or rebellion and their punishments such as being forced to starve to death in public make them wish for the death penalty. All are subject to the desires and will of the masters. All are disposable and can be used for whatever reasons they have. If I didn’t take this role in the army, my family would’ve been forced to work harder or be punished for my actions.”

The pain from her heart causes me to recoil a bit, however, I don’t let go and embrace the pain instead to relieve her of it. This relief shows on her face as some of the anger on it disappears.

“We’ll save them and help you. Trust me.”

The woman's pained heart slowly breaks under the pressure of my honesty. Part of her heart is filled, color is restored to her skin, and her eyes become blue and white.

“Please...save them. Help us,” she says as she tries not to cry.

“We will. Can you get me back to my family?”

“Yes, of course.”

After the woman's dark fog comes over us, we appear not too far from Absalom and Mia.

“Absalom! Mia!” I call out to them while running to them.

They see and call out to me and run to meet and hug me. I almost cry from my happiness to see that they're still alive.

“I'm so glad that you've found your way to us,” Absalom says until he sees the woman behind me. He then holds me and Mia in closer probably because she still looks conceited. “Who is she?”

“Don't worry about her. She helped me find you and is no longer as conceited as she seems. I've convinced her that we'll save her family.”

“We can do that, but first we must regroup with the prince, princess, and the others.”

“We can try, but it'll be difficult, especially with the prince and princess whom I put somewhere dangerous,” the woman says.

“You what?”

“She controls the dark fog that has been teleporting us around because her masters forced her to with her family's lives on the line,” I say.

“I see. Well, I can relate to that motive. What's your name?”

“Leilani.”

“Leilani, we'll help rescue your family. First, let's see how many people we can reunite with so we can better do that, okay?”

“Okay.”

Leilani tries to help us find people from our kingdom, however, we’re only able to find a few with the fate of the others up in the air while some have tragically died. While looking for the prince and princess where Leilani teleported them, we find the place in ruins with the ashes and knocked out conceited around the area so it’s safe to say that they survived and left the area.

“I’m sorry we could hardly find anyone and I’m especially sorry for the ones that died,” Leilani says with her head down.

“Don’t worry about it. With all our abilities combined, I think we have enough people to free your family,” Absalom says.

“Do you really think so? The place where my family is isn’t exactly a city, but it is heavily guarded and even its citizens will be forced to fight with the threat of severe humiliating punishment looming over them if they don’t. Not everyone who will fight you wants to. You must be careful with these people.”

“We’ll do our best,” I say.

“We will and we’ll save your family, many of the innocent, and bring your masters to justice,” Absalom adds.

“Yeah! We promise!” Mia also adds.

Our fellow citizens that we found cheer and bring a smile to Leilani’s face.

She tries not to cry as she says, “Thank you, everyone.”

“Now, bring us to them, but not too close,” Absalom says, “We don’t want to immediately alert them to our attack.”

“Okay!”

Leilani’s dark fog comes over us. Absolute, grant us the strength and skill we need to save not only her family, but the many families that need our help, and thank you for letting my ability grow so that I know it’s not as meager as I once thought it was.

A Union of Hearts: Repairing the Familial Pillar: Chapter 1 – A Second Chance Unwasted

Chapter 1 – A Second Chance Unwasted

I look at my family and treasure being with them every day of my life as if it is my last day, especially today since it may be my last. A force of conceited people has grown in the world and is imposing their false truth on those they conquer or deceive. Many allied kingdoms have willingly fallen to their lies, are in flames, or are enslaved by the conceited.  There are even those in the Church of the Absolute who preach their falsehoods and started their own churches to convert more of the faithful, the ignorant, and the uninformed. The few kingdoms still dedicated to the truth like the kingdom I live in, Simbiosi, are attacked on all sides and the capital that I live in will soon be under attack.

Today, I am allowed to spend the beginning of the day with them before I join the troops out of the walls to help defend against a potential attack. Many times, I have lost my family, but the Absolute has blessed me with this new one. I cannot help but be in constant fear for their safety. If the conceited were to take them over my dead body, they would be enslaved or killed as they have done with many families.

“Are you worrying again, Absalom?” my wife Estella says while looking at me with concern on her face.

Since our hearts are connected, my wife can typically read me like a book. I sometimes wish she couldn’t so she wouldn’t be concerned by my useless worries and weaknesses.

“I must confess that I am. I’m sorry,” I say before looking away in shame.

Estella leans over so I can see her comforting smile.

“It’s going to be okay. I’ll be singing for you and the troops to give you strength.”

“Your singing has always been our key to victory along with yours, Mia.”

My daughter, Mia, can also sing like her mother and even summon specters like I can except she can only summon two animals whereas I can summon up to fifteen spectral soldiers to aid me in battle.

“Is there something that I can do besides that?” Mia asks.

“You can pray as you sing,” I suggest.

“I can help you in battle.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Yes, I can! This is what my Heart Absolute ability was made for.”

“You can use an elephant and a hawk for more than battle.”

“What am I supposed to be then? A performer? A clown in the circus? I know what my heart’s purpose is.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt or killed in battle.”

“I won’t get killed if I just use my specters. I’ll use them to fight and bear whatever pain comes with it.”

“How do you know you won’t get killed? Your ability isn’t like exactly like mine and it hasn’t been tested yet.”

“If I do get injured badly, then I’ll leave and get medical help, I promise! Please, let me help defend our home, father.”

“No, I will not. Not now at least.”

Mia gives me a look of bitter resignation before looking down and away from me and then leaving the table.

“Mia.”

“She’s just like you,” Estella points out.

“I honestly hope that she turns out more like you or at least takes the best of both of us while leaving out the worst.”

I go outside where Mia is sitting on the porch.

“I know how you feel,” I say.

“Then you’d let me help you fight,” Mia says.

“When the time is right.”

“I’m old enough to fight and have two powerful specters with me that I can summon anywhere I can think of like you.”

“You just turned sixteen last month.”

“That’s old enough for the prince and princess’s new children to start their training. Knowing them, they probably started their training earlier.”

“You aren’t like them. You’re my daughter and the Absolute has a different role in life for you.”

“I know that. I just feel that I found it.”

“I thought that I found my true role in life when I recklessly followed my heart. People here still view me as a villain because of the death and destruction I caused because of it it. I admit that I’m afraid of you getting hurt and even more afraid of you dying, but I’m most afraid of you making the same mistakes I made.”

“I understand. I pray I could do something to change the minds of those who still view you in a negative light.”

“They’ll change their minds in time. For now, hone your ability and after the battle, we’ll train your specters to see if they can fight. Maybe you can act as support for the troops such as using your hawk for scouting or using your elephant to break through the enemy’s walls.”

“Okay.”

I hug Mia and she hugs me. Before we can go inside, a group of soldiers come to my door and let me know it’s time to go. Turning to Estella and Mia, I promise them that I’ll be back and then head out with the soldiers to meet the rest of the army outside of the walls. The soldiers take me to Prince Caleb and Princess Kyla who are at the frontlines of the capital’s defense.

“Hello, Absalom. Is your daughter going to use her specters to aid us in battle?” Caleb asks.

“No, but she will be giving us strength with her singing just like her mother. Are your children going to be fighting with us?” I say.

“They’ll fight if the fighting gets inside the walls. What’s with that look on your face? I only asked because she told me that she wants to fight. What’s the harm in letting her? She won’t die if her specters are dissipated in battle like yours, right?”

“I don’t know if she will or not.”

“Caleb, he’s afraid of his daughter getting hurt or dying,” Kyla says.

“Given his record of dead wives and daughters, I understand.”

“Caleb!”

“What? I’m just speaking bluntly and mean nothing by it. I’m sorry if what I said hurt you, Absalom. It’s just that…I feel as uneasy as you do and want to use every resource I have to obtain victory for us.”

“And you’d use my daughter?”

“No, I won’t force her to fight like the enemy does. Forget I said anything. Anyways, this is our first time fighting together. Do you think you can fight as well as you did when you fought us? I’ve heard good things from the commanders you were under.”

I’d prefer it if Caleb also forgot when he and Kyla brought me to justice. Leave the past in the past. I’ve already served my penance for my sins and need to look forward to the future.

“Just wait and see. Has your downtime weakened your skills?”

“Parenting has done that a bit, but Kyla and I have been sparring to keep in shape. We’re also competing to see who wins the most sparing match. I’m winning by the way.”

“Not if you’re counting my victories,” Kyla says.

“You mean the ones I let you have?”

“You always say that as an excuse for the times I beat you.”

“It’s the truth, not an excuse.”

Despite Caleb’s manners, he’s still a good prince of justice. Kyla is also an amazing princess of mercy. Both are faithful servants of the Absolute who is the king of this kingdom and the guide of our hearts. Even though I’d like to forget the times when I wasn’t myself, I am thankful for them and the Absolute for bringing me back to my senses whenever I remember my shameful failings. Kyla and Caleb will be flying around the battlefield where they are needed while I and the other soldiers will defend other parts of the outer walls.

Soon after I take my defensive position, the enemy goes pouring in. We heard they were coming and rushed to get ready. Caleb and Kyla didn’t have enough time to do their battle speech to raise morale, but at least we made it on time. I spawn fifteen specters with a variety of weapons to aid me and my fellow soldiers in battle while they use their variety of Heart Absolute abilities as well. The conceited use their abilities as well, but since their abilities are inversions of their own or weaker versions of others, we have the advantage in terms of power. For example, one of them that I face that lights himself on fire and can manifest weapons is defeated by my simple sword and shield whereas one of my fellow soldiers who can use similar fire powers can take on multiple foes without being hit. It also helps that I can feel strengthened by Estella's and Mia's singing which gives me the strength I need to endure the hits that my specters take.

Kyla and Caleb eventually fly over us and use their dragons of mercy and justice to spray their flames upon our enemies. The ones who still have some good in their soul are simply knocked out by the flames while the ones who are judged to be damned are burned to ash. These flames are the manifestation of the Absolute's judgment and seeing them reminds me of when I was purified of the temptations in my head by those blessed flames. I, along with the rest of the soldiers, cheer for them as they fly by. Wait. What's that near Caleb? Is that a white hawk with grey wings? Sending up one of my specters to check, I find that my eyes do not deceive me. It’s my daughter’s hawk specter who is telling Caleb where to go.

Through my specter, I catch my daughter’s hawk by the wings before she can escape me and then say, “What do you think you’re doing, Mia?!”

“I’m doing what I’m called to, father,” she says.

“Don’t worry about her, Absalom. We’ll take care of her,” Caleb says.

“But-”

“It’s a promise and an order for you to leave her in our protection.”

“Fine. Be careful, Mia.”

With nothing more to say or do, I focus on the battle and try to end it on my side so that it ends quicker and any threat to Mia is erased. Eventually, the conceited retreat. We think victory is ours until a rumbling in the ground puts us on our guard until a giant black and white dragon with five heads that seems to be half as large as the capital appears in front of us in an explosion of fire. Caleb, Kyla, and I along with the other soldiers focus on this creature and attack it with everything we have. The conceited that retreated moments ago come back in full force to defend the dragon as it charges forward to the capital. It’s about to charge through the walls until Mia’s elephant appears which is about the size of a castle’s wall and stops it by charging into it. This allows the wall’s defenders and we keep the dragon in place as we cut at its legs to cripple it.

“Our hearts and strength become one and closer than they ever have before,” Caleb and Kyla say in one voice, “Face the judgment of a pure heart!”

Caleb and Kyla’s dragon becomes a singular dragon that they ride on. This dragon called the Judgment of the Absolute breathes its gold and black fire on the multiheaded dragon while flying around it until the dragon burns to ash and the only thing left of it is a single conceited man with many heads on his body. What they just did is something that I wish to try with my own family since people who love each other and have Heart Absolute abilities can combine their abilities into a powerful singular ability they both control with one heart and mind. I along with Caleb, Kyla, and the other troops surround this man ready to bring him in for questioning.

“This isn’t over. You’re going to wish that you lost this battle,” the man says.

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who has lost,” Caleb says.

“Heh, I’ll give you a hint. You don’t think that everyone in your kingdom is loyal to you, do you? We were going to take the capital with as much minimal damage as possible, but you leave us no choice. You’ll have ruins for homes.”

After the man says this, he dies and then multiple explosions happen throughout the capital. From where we are, we can see the largest buildings collapse and be blown up from the inside. If that’s not enough, a black fog emerges in the capital as we rush in. Screams and sounds of fighting echo from every corner of the capital that forces the army to disperse to quell the chaos. At a time like this, I wish Mia would disobey my order so she could tell me where she and her mother are and what’s happening.

I send out my specters in haste to help every citizen I can and send out two extra ones to find my family. Making these two extra ones takes more strength, but thankfully, I can still feel the effects of Estella’s and Mia’s singing, so they must be alive. As I rush back home, I see people disappearing into the dark through my specters. My specters try to save these people, but those that disappear are gone without a trace which means that whatever is in the black fog teleports its victims to a different place. We’ll have to find these people later. Meanwhile, the only threats I can deal with are the conceited that are trying to kill whoever they can.

Have mercy on us all, Absolute. Do not let the conceited take our families from us and make the conceited see the error of their ways. Keep everyone safe and give us the strength to get through these challenging times.

“Father!” I hear the sound of Mia and the sons and daughters of Caleb and Kyla say.

My specters catch their cries and do what they can to save them from the many conceited that are targeting them. To combat the growing number of enemies, I summon more specters so that I have a total of twenty out with ten protecting my family and ten protecting Caleb and Kyla's children. Mia uses her elephant to help defend her mother and Caleb and Kyla's children don't have much of a problem defending themselves. Still, I have to take some of the hits for them by making my specters block the enemies' attacks with their bodies. The pain slows me down a bit, but my determination and offering up the pain as penance keep me going until I finally get to where my family is.

“Estella! Mia!” I yell out to them.

They call back out to me before Estella and Mia continue their singing. I'm comforted at the sight of their safety, but even more on edge to keep them safe, especially since it seems like the conceited are countless and endlessly come out of the dark fog.

Turning to Mia and Estella, I say, “We should combine our Heart Absolute abilities together to push them back!”

“I've never done it before,” Mia says.

“What would mine do to help? I think it'd be best if I kept singing,” Estella says.

“Look at me and don't worry. Grab my hands and join your hearts with mine. The Absolute will take care of the rest.”

Mia and Estella look at me and then do as I told them.

With one voice we say, “Three turns into one as the three are one in the Absolute. One family, one heart, and one Absolute.”

A light bursts out from us. From it comes hundreds of soldiers on unicorns, elephants, and griffins all clothed in a bright white light that dispels the darkness and overwhelms the conceited. The soldiers and their animals sing to everyone in the capital to lift their spirits and strengthen them while also demoralizing the enemy and piercing their ears with our songs. Together, we drive them off along with the black fog. Victory is finally ours despite the many lives lost and the destruction done to our homes.

We combined our hearts and used a powerful ability just like the prince and princess. Father, that was amazing! It was and so were you, Mia and Estella. The Absolute saved us in our time of need and I came back as promised. This is all great and I don’t mean to spoil the mood, but can we stop using this power of ours, Absalom? Using it for this long makes me feel like I’ve been running for hours. Oh, of course, Estella. I’m sorry, mother. I didn’t notice the strain it put on you. Show offs. Acting like it was nothing.

Estella was right. It feels like a heavy weight is taken off my shoulders now that we’ve stopped using our combined hearts’ ability. Anyways, I’m glad that we’re all safe now. Even though the capital is in ruins and we’ve lost many, I’m confident that this isn’t the end for us and we’ll come back stronger and ready to fight again.

Another new book is finished and out today!

Download on for free on Smashwords - https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1177149

A man finds himself trapped near an inactive volcano along with specters who are missing parts of their bodies and going mad. He, himself, is also missing parts of his body and doesn't remember his past or who he is, however, when he does piece himself together, will he be able to move beyond the failures and evils of his past?

A Lack of Heart: A Kingdom for One: Chapter 3 - A Pathetic Sin

Chapter 3 - A Pathetic Sin

“We’re almost there,” a specter of mine in the streets says.

“Hurry.”

“Complete the penance.”

“Do mother, father, and brother proud.”

“Be the father and husband you were meant to be.”

Ever since my act of humility, every specter in the streets has been encouraging me, being positive, and willingly joining me. There are no vainglories in sight, yet there has to be one or something close by to get rid of so I can be done with this cleansing. My guardian servile guides me from the top of the volcano to the bottom where the sewers are, which is a fitting place for a sinful being to be now that I think about it. It's a smelly and dark place that only gets darker the further we travel and the only light is my guardian who emanates a strange dim light that is somehow brighter than the darkness.

Curious about this, I ask, “What is that light shining from you?”

“It's not a light shining from me. It's the light of the Absolute or rather the darkness of the Absolute that is brighter than the light of evil,” my guardian servile explains.

“That's interesting for you to say since there's no light here.”

“What you see is the light of evil that's coming from the last part of you that is weak to it. It's just that the light of evil is exposed as the darkness it is when the darkness of the Absolute is close to it.”

“What is this darkness of the Absolute?”

“It’s a darkness that tests the faithful and the same darkness that’s been trapping you here. Many times you have failed, but now you are on the edge of victory. Don’t let the people you love and who love you down. I’m here for you.”

My guardian servile disappears along with the light it had. The darkness around me engulfs me and the silence deafens me until I hear the sound of someone, probably the last specter of myself, crying. Sure enough, after following the sound of the crying, I see a dim light coming from a specter of myself huddled in a corner.

“What's the use? I'll just fail again. I might lose another family. I'll probably be too late to protect the innocent.”

“But-”

“Everyone is tested by the Absolute until death. I can't establish peace by myself or with the help of others. Even if I do help make the world for the better, a generation or two in the future can ruin it.”

“Don't think like that.”

“I'm not wrong. There's no use in trying. I won't be perfect in this life. I may fail my next family or disappoint someone that trusted me.”

“No one is perfect.”

“But I'm expected to be. The Absolute wants the best of us even if mercy is always available until death, and above all, I fail the Absolute first with every sin. What's even the use when my prayers and acts of devotion fall flat when the Absolute wishes to test me by allowing me to fall into sin?”

There's no use arguing with him when he keeps despairing about what could happen. What am I going to do to change myself? Perhaps that's the problem. I can't change myself. I have corrupted myself, but my true self still exists. The only one who knows who that is made my heart and loves me like no other, the Absolute. With my one and only option clear, I place my heart and soul into the hands of the Absolute promising that I'll be who I'm meant to be for both the Lord of my heart and the people placed under my care.

Once this promise is made, light emanates from my chest and the heart-shaped hole is restored along with the rest of my body. I exit the sewers to see that the barrier is gone. What somewhat surprises me is that I see an army encamped around the volcano. It makes sense since I was a dangerous individual. I'll talk to them soon enough, but first, I go to a nearby river to look at my restored appearance. Part of me still feels disgusted by the man I see, especially since I lack arms, however, I see glimpses of a better man in the reflection. I'll make sure that this better man is me by the end of my life.

Well, I guess it's time to see what this army will do to me. Portals in the sky open up and two dragons come through them. One dragon is light blue while the other is crimson red. The riders of these dragons are the ones that brought me both mercy and justice, and true servants of the Absolute. Along with them is a young man with black hair and gold and red garments. He must be the one who made the portals for them. They land in front of me with small groups from the army not too far behind them.

“Prince Caleb, Princess Kyla,” I say as I bow my head.

“Absalom. It looks like you found yourself,” Caleb says.

“Yes, I have and emerged reborn through the Absolute's trials. Now, I guess it's time for me to face another trial from the world.”

Caleb and Kyla look at each other before Kyla says, “You won't face any trial or any punishment from us, any of our allies, or the Church.”

“The barrier you were in was a penitential punishment from the Absolute for a little over a year, and if He let you go free, then who are we to reimprison you?” Caleb continues, “Come. We'll give you back your crown, arms, and a new place in the world.”

“Really?” I ask in surprise.

“Of course. The people of Simbiosi are charitable, especially to the repentant. Think of this as paying your debt to us.”

“Yes. I will honorably serve you. My specters and this kingdom of mine is yours.”

“Save it for the ceremony.”

I take Caleb’s advice and save my thanks for the Absolute for my crowning ceremony. The entire thing is more or less a show of the Absolute’s mercy to the citizens of Simbiosi to remind them what it is and I’m the fool on stage confessing my heart out that they respectfully clap for as if it were a play. Caleb and Kyla also talk as well and are credited by the Church for the part they played in repentance. Nevertheless, I’m humbled by the public confession, crowning, and acceptance of my service. In addition to the crown I once had, I am given a pair of metal arms that work as if they were my normal arms, however, Caleb says that they’ll stop working if I become conceited again, which I hope never happens again.

After the ceremony, I’m allowed to talk to people after it and a sense of this happening before hits me. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps it’s because I met my first and second wives at parties. No woman here catches my eye like they did so it’s most likely my imagination. Once everything here is done, I am escorted by Caleb and Kyla to their castle where I’ll be staying. Along the way, we hear a woman crying for help. We go to help and find some criminals trying to rob her house. I immediately jump into action and overwhelm the criminals with ten of my specters before going to check on the woman.

There’s something about her that captivates my eyes and she seems captivated by me as well. It’s as if I can see the beauty of her soul. This feeling is similar to the feeling I had when I saw my other wives but different somehow.

“Hello. Um. Thank you for saving me,” she says.

“The honor is mine. What’s your name?” I ask.

“Estrella.”

“My name is Absalom.”

“I’ve heard of you. Is-”

“No, no,” Caleb interrupts, “You can’t just come back from your penance and find another wife, especially after you lost three.”

“It’s okay, Caleb. Let them be. We have to bring these criminals to jail,” Kyla says.

“…okay. Fine, but don’t you rush it, Absalom!”

Caleb and Kyla summon their dragons to aid them in taking the criminals to jail while leaving Estrella and me alone together.

“Let me help you clean up what the criminals broke,” I say.

“Thank you, but as Prince Caleb said, every wife you’ve had has died,” Estrella says.

“Yes, it’s true. I’m not asking for your hand in marriage right now. I just want to help.”

“You said ‘right now’. Does that mean you’ll ask later? We’ve just met.”

“I-uh. Would you give me the honor of spending a few days together first before I ask?”

“Again, you’re making it sound like you’re already planning on marrying me.”

She’s got me there as if she can see the desire for a family deep within my heart. Despite knowing this, she seems amused and is brightly smiling at me.

“Okay, I confess that one of the desires of my heart is to have a family or at the very least a group of friends I can consider family.”

“We can enjoy the day together once the house is…clean?”

“While we were talking, I had my specters clean up the house. Now, it looks like nothing happened to it at all. In fact, it looks like it recently had a cleaning done.”

“You must be really anxious to have people to be close to.”

“Yet again, you got me there. Can you read hearts?”

“No. Unfortunately, my Heart Absolute ability is to strengthen people with my singing voice.”

“I’d love to hear you sing.”

“Maybe if we find a place that lets us and if you sing with me.”

“It’s a deal. Shall we go?”

“Yes.”

With that, Estrella and I are off to spend as much of the day together as possible. Though the dark shadow of my past is behind me, it’s just that. Behind me, and always will be from now on. I won’t let my past define my future or how I act now other than remembering my mistakes to learn from them. Truth and love will now be my goal in life that I will be devoted to no matter how many times I may fail in the future.

The End

A Lack of Heart: A Kingdom for One: Chapter 2 – Break off all Vexations

Chapter 2 – Break off all Vexations

The feeling that guided me to part of myself is quieter now if quieter is a good word for the feeling. It’s vaguer and completely silent at points. Many of the specters around me now notice me and senselessly attack me forcing me to defend myself from manifestations of myself. With each specter I defeat, the more of myself I remember, and the way forward is made clearer. It’s a mixed blessing if I’m being honest.

Every memory brings back the pains of the past that affect my specters that I use to defend myself. My specters lose their knight appearance and look more like disfigured bodies some of which bear a resemblance to my dead family. They remind me of my failures and even speak with a distorted version of their voices mixed with mine.

“I love you,” I hear my first and second wives say.

“The hero you could’ve become…what happened?” my mother asks.

“Where’s the good son that I raised?” my father asks.

“Daddy!” my children say.

Something’s wrong with these specters. They defend me and then talk without me commanding them to. Am I doing this on my own or is it something else? Currently, I’m going up the volcano since that’s where I came down from. I’m beginning to notice that some of the specters here are different than the others. Some wear black and gold crowns and have tinges of grey on their body. It seems like these specters reflect the worst parts of me so I try to ignore them, however, a group of them gathers around a gate near the top of the volcano.

“There’s no point in penance,” one of the specters says.

“I am perfect as I am.”

“There’s nothing more to change.”

“I’ll just fail again. I might as well just do what I’m best at and bear my flaws.”

This doesn’t seem right. I know that a person who is true to themselves will try to perfect themselves and be the person that the Absolute originally made them to be. A person true to themselves shouldn’t accept mediocrity, and I shouldn’t either. My family wanted me to be more. As if reading my thoughts, the specters stop talking and look at me with angry looks on their faces before swarming from all directions to attack me.

My specters form a protective barrier around me, but I can’t keep this up, especially with the constant noise in my head tempting me to give up. What can I do? Who can I call for help? Perhaps the Absolute is the only one who can, so I say a silent prayer. For a few seconds, I think my prayer falls on deaf ears until I see that the specters fall one by one until they’re all gone. When I dissipate my barrier of specters, I see that my savior is an angelic being made of various kinds of shields, swords, knives, and arrows all of which appear worn down from battle. Is this my guardian angel, a servile of the Absolute? A feeling within me makes me think that I know this servile somehow.

“It’s been a while since you last asked for my help and help from the Absolute. I’m glad that you did,” the servile says.

My feelings of gratitude soon give way to feelings of bitterness after remembering all the times that I thought the Absolute would've helped me and that being devoted to the Absolute means being His tool. A lot of representations of serviles show them as being humanlike whereas others show them as an amalgamation of tools, weapons, plants, or whatever else they may be helping with.

“Yeah...thank you,” I struggle to say.

“I'll protect you from the vainglory and help you regain yourself. We should be quick since the vainglory will not stop until you're theirs again.”

I remember being under their control and their almost divine appearance. They manifest themselves as grey and gold beings, with wings, and horn-like crowns. Their tempting whispers became one in my mind when I sacrificed the people that I considered to be my enemies for power and they still whisper to me right now. Suddenly, my guardian servile puts its sword through my head and takes out several of the vainglories from my body before dissipating them.

“Thank...thank you,” I say.

“You're welcome. As I said, we should move. More from the surrounding area are already on the attack as you can see,” my guardian servile says before moving up the volcano.

Following its advice, I follow the servile all the way up the volcano and into the castle that sits at its peak. Memories of what happened here force their way into my head and remind me that the third family I had was damned to the Land of the Forgotten because of me. The feelings of guilt and regret are enough to stop me in my place until my guardian servile repels more vainglories from me.

“Hurry inside!” it says.

After doing as it says, I can feel myself being drawn to the throne room. My body moves by itself as I go there and find an armored version of myself that only has half a face, half a body, one leg, and a sword for an arm.

“Here, again? Do you think that liar with you will change anything?” the specter of myself says.

“I’m not here to argue with you,” I say while summoning ten specters.

“You must be because surely you can’t be here to fight me.” The specter of myself summons enough specters to fill the entire room. “This is the power I have, or rather, you had when I was complete and conceited. You are nothing more than a specter for me to consume so I can resume my war for peace in this world of endless wars and conflicts. The entire world will be my kingdom where the innocent can live without fear for their lives. Hurry up and be one with me again.”

The specter me sends a seemingly endless number of specters at me and soon enough, I’m consumed in the flood. Everything is dark and I can hardly hear anything except the faint voice of my guardian servile.

“Why resist? Why not become a king?”

“I’m not worthy of becoming one nor am I fit to be one.”

“I am the worthiest person in the world. No one has the same abilities, experience, and the ability to deal with as much heartache as I do.”

“There is no one who is as foolish as I.”

“I don’t need the Absolute. I even had the vainglory under my control.”

“I had the illusion of control.”

“To be free from the Absolute is the freedom to define myself, and I am Absalom, the one true King of All! Under my protection, no more innocent people will suffer. I will finally live in peace with a loving family. All I need to do is free this world from the Absolute’s grasp and I can have it all. I was on the verge of making it happen.”

“All I do falls to ruin.”

“What would I rather think? Don’t I deserve the glory that comes with my power or am I the sum of my failures?”

Considering the options, I decide, “I will not be a slave to my high opinions of myself, especially when I’ve been proven wrong. How can I be so prideful when I’ve fallen so far from what I was even in comparison to what I want myself to be at the height of my power? It was right for me to fail and be given this punishment. Let the Absolute do whatever it wants with me.”

The space around me clears as my specters enter me and the vainglories fly away before disappearing into thin air.

“Well done. Your humility has banished a majority of the demonic presence of your heart,” my guardian servile says.

“How come you didn’t help me more?” I ask.

“I brought your prayers to the Absolute and prayed for you. I’ve always been at your side and aiding you even though it may not be obvious.”

It isn’t obvious at all. Still, I’m glad that it seems to be over, or at least mostly over. The barrier surrounding the volcano has many holes in it allowing the light outside to shine through and a lot of the specters from the city are coming back into me. I look at myself in the reflective surface of the floor to see the tan color in my skin has been restored along with the color in my eyes. My hair is back and my body is mostly restored except for a heart-shaped hole in my chest and the other half of my face. Where could the last part of me be?

“Follow me to find the last piece,” my guardian servile says as if it read my mind.

Since I have no better option and feel that I can trust the servile more, I do so. Hopefully, with its help, I’ll finally be free of this prison and be more of the person my family envisioned me to be.