Chapter 3 - A Pathetic Sin
“We’re almost there,” a specter of
mine in the streets says.
“Hurry.”
“Complete the penance.”
“Do mother, father, and brother
proud.”
“Be the father and husband you were
meant to be.”
Ever since my act of humility,
every specter in the streets has been encouraging me, being positive, and
willingly joining me. There are no vainglories in sight, yet there has to be
one or something close by to get rid of so I can be done with this cleansing.
My guardian servile guides me from the top of the volcano to the bottom where
the sewers are, which is a fitting place for a sinful being to be now that I
think about it. It's a smelly and dark place that only gets darker the further
we travel and the only light is my guardian who emanates a strange dim light
that is somehow brighter than the darkness.
Curious about this, I ask, “What is
that light shining from you?”
“It's not a light shining from me.
It's the light of the Absolute or rather the darkness of the Absolute that is
brighter than the light of evil,” my guardian servile explains.
“That's interesting for you to say
since there's no light here.”
“What you see is the light of evil
that's coming from the last part of you that is weak to it. It's just that the
light of evil is exposed as the darkness it is when the darkness of the
Absolute is close to it.”
“What is this darkness of the Absolute?”
“It’s a darkness that tests the
faithful and the same darkness that’s been trapping you here. Many times you
have failed, but now you are on the edge of victory. Don’t let the people you
love and who love you down. I’m here for you.”
My guardian servile disappears
along with the light it had. The darkness around me engulfs me and the silence
deafens me until I hear the sound of someone, probably the last specter of
myself, crying. Sure enough, after following the sound of the crying, I see a
dim light coming from a specter of myself huddled in a corner.
“What's the use? I'll just fail
again. I might lose another family. I'll probably be too late to protect the
innocent.”
“But-”
“Everyone is tested by the Absolute
until death. I can't establish peace by myself or with the help of others. Even
if I do help make the world for the better, a generation or two in the future
can ruin it.”
“Don't think like that.”
“I'm not wrong. There's no use in
trying. I won't be perfect in this life. I may fail my next family or
disappoint someone that trusted me.”
“No one is perfect.”
“But I'm expected to be. The
Absolute wants the best of us even if mercy is always available until death,
and above all, I fail the Absolute first with every sin. What's even the use
when my prayers and acts of devotion fall flat when the Absolute wishes to test
me by allowing me to fall into sin?”
There's no use arguing with him
when he keeps despairing about what could happen. What am I going to do to
change myself? Perhaps that's the problem. I can't change myself. I have
corrupted myself, but my true self still exists. The only one who knows who
that is made my heart and loves me like no other, the Absolute. With my one and
only option clear, I place my heart and soul into the hands of the Absolute
promising that I'll be who I'm meant to be for both the Lord of my heart and
the people placed under my care.
Once this promise is made, light
emanates from my chest and the heart-shaped hole is restored along with the
rest of my body. I exit the sewers to see that the barrier is gone. What
somewhat surprises me is that I see an army encamped around the volcano. It
makes sense since I was a dangerous individual. I'll talk to them soon enough,
but first, I go to a nearby river to look at my restored appearance. Part of me
still feels disgusted by the man I see, especially since I lack arms, however,
I see glimpses of a better man in the reflection. I'll make sure that this
better man is me by the end of my life.
Well, I guess it's time to see what
this army will do to me. Portals in the sky open up and two dragons come
through them. One dragon is light blue while the other is crimson red. The
riders of these dragons are the ones that brought me both mercy and justice,
and true servants of the Absolute. Along with them is a young man with black
hair and gold and red garments. He must be the one who made the portals for
them. They land in front of me with small groups from the army not too far
behind them.
“Prince Caleb, Princess Kyla,” I
say as I bow my head.
“Absalom. It looks like you found
yourself,” Caleb says.
“Yes, I have and emerged reborn
through the Absolute's trials. Now, I guess it's time for me to face another
trial from the world.”
Caleb and Kyla look at each other
before Kyla says, “You won't face any trial or any punishment from us, any of
our allies, or the Church.”
“The barrier you were in was a
penitential punishment from the Absolute for a little over a year, and if He
let you go free, then who are we to reimprison you?” Caleb continues, “Come.
We'll give you back your crown, arms, and a new place in the world.”
“Really?” I ask in surprise.
“Of course. The people of Simbiosi
are charitable, especially to the repentant. Think of this as paying your debt
to us.”
“Yes. I will honorably serve you.
My specters and this kingdom of mine is yours.”
“Save it for the ceremony.”
I take Caleb’s advice and save my
thanks for the Absolute for my crowning ceremony. The entire thing is more or
less a show of the Absolute’s mercy to the citizens of Simbiosi to remind them
what it is and I’m the fool on stage confessing my heart out that they
respectfully clap for as if it were a play. Caleb and Kyla also talk as well
and are credited by the Church for the part they played in repentance. Nevertheless,
I’m humbled by the public confession, crowning, and acceptance of my service. In
addition to the crown I once had, I am given a pair of metal arms that work as
if they were my normal arms, however, Caleb says that they’ll stop working if I
become conceited again, which I hope never happens again.
After the ceremony, I’m allowed to
talk to people after it and a sense of this happening before hits me. I don’t
know why that is. Perhaps it’s because I met my first and second wives at
parties. No woman here catches my eye like they did so it’s most likely my imagination.
Once everything here is done, I am escorted by Caleb and Kyla to their castle
where I’ll be staying. Along the way, we hear a woman crying for help. We go to
help and find some criminals trying to rob her house. I immediately jump into
action and overwhelm the criminals with ten of my specters before going to
check on the woman.
There’s something about her that captivates
my eyes and she seems captivated by me as well. It’s as if I can see the beauty
of her soul. This feeling is similar to the feeling I had when I saw my other
wives but different somehow.
“Hello. Um. Thank you for saving me,”
she says.
“The honor is mine. What’s your
name?” I ask.
“Estrella.”
“My name is Absalom.”
“I’ve heard of you. Is-”
“No, no,” Caleb interrupts, “You
can’t just come back from your penance and find another wife, especially after
you lost three.”
“It’s okay, Caleb. Let them be. We
have to bring these criminals to jail,” Kyla says.
“…okay. Fine, but don’t you rush it,
Absalom!”
Caleb and Kyla summon their dragons
to aid them in taking the criminals to jail while leaving Estrella and me alone together.
“Let me help you clean up what the
criminals broke,” I say.
“Thank you, but as Prince Caleb
said, every wife you’ve had has died,” Estrella says.
“Yes, it’s true. I’m not asking for
your hand in marriage right now. I just want to help.”
“You said ‘right now’. Does that
mean you’ll ask later? We’ve just met.”
“I-uh. Would you give me the honor
of spending a few days together first before I ask?”
“Again, you’re making it sound like
you’re already planning on marrying me.”
She’s got me there as if she can
see the desire for a family deep within my heart. Despite knowing this, she
seems amused and is brightly smiling at me.
“Okay, I confess that one of the
desires of my heart is to have a family or at the very least a group of friends
I can consider family.”
“We can enjoy the day together once
the house is…clean?”
“While we were talking, I had my
specters clean up the house. Now, it looks like nothing happened to it at all.
In fact, it looks like it recently had a cleaning done.”
“You must be really anxious to have
people to be close to.”
“Yet again, you got me there. Can
you read hearts?”
“No. Unfortunately, my Heart
Absolute ability is to strengthen people with my singing voice.”
“I’d love to hear you sing.”
“Maybe if we find a place that lets
us and if you sing with me.”
“It’s a deal. Shall we go?”
“Yes.”
With that, Estrella and I are off
to spend as much of the day together as possible. Though the dark shadow of my
past is behind me, it’s just that. Behind me, and always will be from now on. I
won’t let my past define my future or how I act now other than remembering my
mistakes to learn from them. Truth and love will now be my goal in life that I will
be devoted to no matter how many times I may fail in the future.
The End
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