How to Build Yourself: Chapter 3 – Soul Searching

Chapter 3 – Soul Searching

Huh? I’m alive and I have normal doll arms now. Where am I? I seem to be in some kind of church. Taking a look outside, I see that I’m in the section of the factory that has a lot of churches, libraries, and schools. Here, people come to learn, exchange ideas, and gain converts. This was the next and last destination on my list and I hope it’s not like the last one, but how did I get here? My question is quickly answered by what looks like an angel floating towards me. The closer it gets, the more I see that it’s not an angel but a doll with its body, limbs, and face separated and floating independently as it is kept together with thick wires as if he were a puppet.

“Who are you?” I ask it.

“A doll just like you but free from sin,” it says.

“Why did you save me?”

“Because the slaves of work, politicians, and businessmen were waging another civil war and the works of their hands were breaking down again and I thought people would need saving.”

“They usually fight?”

“They do. Why do you think there are shortages in food and supplies every now and then? Today, the Liberation and Fundamentalist parties fight, but ten years ago it was the Fundamentalist party fighting against the Traditionalists, and tomorrow it can be the Liberation and Free Thinking party fighting. These are nothing more than cycles of old traditions fighting against new traditions while the true old tradition is forgotten.”

“The true old tradition?”

“The true old tradition of putting the law of the Doll Creator above all. Water cannot decide to burn, light cannot decide to darken, and animals cannot decide to be dolls, so why should we try acting like Creators when we should be his faithful servants? The reason why so much destruction happens to us is because we are who we aren’t meant to be. We may have the freedom to decide who we are, but we do not have the right to define what we are and our true purpose in life.”

“I’ve been looking for that answer this whole time! How am I going to find my real purpose in life?”

“Look within and without. The Creator’s law is written within your heart and there are many here within the factory that are devoted to him to show you the way to the purpose you were made for but be wary of charlatans.”

“Like who?”

“You won’t have to look far. Follow me and take a look outside.” I do as it says before it continues, “You already know what happens when dolls chose to write the rules for themselves. They follow the traditions and rules of their family or rebel against them and only follow the rules of the Creator as much as modern morality allows if at all. You can see the many false ideologies that worship the Creator in different ways. Some view him as a distant creator, others view him as approving of everything they do, others as a fearful judge, and others more view him as loving. Which do you think is true based on what you’ve experienced? Why do you think people act the way they do based on their beliefs?”

I think about it for a few seconds before saying that, “I think people act out of love mostly for themselves and what they believe to be the truth. Because of this, I believe the Creator to be a loving one.”

“Correct and what is the greatest way to love?”

Thinking again for a bit and thinking about everything I’ve gone through; I think I know the answer. I’ve been going around the factory looking for answers to change the way I live and think and everyone along the way has tried to change me as well, so the answer seems obvious.

I answer, “To sacrifice especially sacrificing the way we think and live so that our lives are lived according to the truth rather than what we want to be true.”

“Correct though I would add more to what you said.”

“But what is my role in all of this?”

“Your heart seems pure. Tell me, what does it ask you to do?”

“Love my friends, family, and everyone I come across, and live my life as the Creator wants me to and take over my father’s job of creating and designing tools.”

“You’re missing one last part for it to be perfect and that is to be perfect.”

“I can try to be the perfect doll that I’m supposed to be, but I’ll probably make a mistake here and there.”

“You can be perfect now if you act and change your body like I do.”

Is this just what everyone says? I feel like everyone I’ve come across for the truth has said something like this.

“Why did you give me arms if you wanted me to change my arms to wings like yours?”

“Because the sacrifice of love would be properly made then.”

“But how would I be perfect?”

“Because if we become who we’re meant to and act like how we’re supposed to, then we will live among the angels. It is only through the Creator’s help that we can do this. Once you are fervent in prayer and penance, you will be as perfect as I am, I who suffer daily in this form and use every action, every thought that I have as an act of prayer and sacrifice.”

How am I going to get out of this without being chased and cornered again? Hmm. My thinking leads me outside where people who like demons, angels, clergy, and other religiously dressed people approach us and excuse the person I am with.

“You sorry excuse for an angel,” one of them says, “You keep to yourself in that wreck of a church then go out to kidnap people to convert to your ideology!”

I don’t know if what they say is true, but I use the chaos to slip away even as some of the other religious try to convert me. This makes me wish I had my gear arm so I could get out of here faster rather than having to walk all the way back home. When I make it home, my parents look at me as if I just got out of war since they’re surprised to see normal arms and legs on me.

“I’m home, mom and dad, and I’ve learned a lot,” I say before telling them what I went through and what I learned, which doesn’t help their expression much.

They expected me to play it safe and come home the same way I was, but I’m different now. Now, I know what I’m supposed to do. I, Renata, will be a tool innovator that will allow dolls to contain tools within their bodies while not being tools themselves. I convince my dad to focus less on work and more on spending time with us by using the recent revolution that happened in the industrialized section as my evidence for doing so. I then convince my mom to not look in every direction for goodness and use what has happened to me for my reasoning. My parents are easily convinced since their way of thinking is so open minded and because of how I’ve changed because of my journey.

Over the past few days, my dad and I come up with the design I want and many dolls begin to look more like how they’re supposed to while also working the job they’re meant to. I want everyone to live the life they were meant to live and do so in a happy and right manner. We may all have our ideas of right and wrong, but the truth is that there’s only one true way to view everything. Every day, I work, pray, love, and enjoy everything I do in the right way according to what the Creator says to do and what other faithful suggest. I may fall, make mistakes, and even listen to the wrong influences, but I try and try again to live my life right and build myself in the right way. We all eventually settle into an ideology and way of thinking that rejects other ways of living. As far as I know, we should make sure that it’s the right way of thinking that’s not influenced by our own biases because if we do, we make ourselves the creators of our own destruction.

The End