I offer up comfort to gain penance
I run from sin to gain grace
I reject myself to embrace love
My life is dedicated to pain so
that others may make it to Heaven
The only reward I ask for is a
small place in Heaven fit for a beggar. Amen.
-
A
prayer of the Mortificationem
Story 1 – Over the Pain
There’s a place in the world that
no one can reach by conventional means as it is contained in a different dimension
and the only people who can go in are the same people who reside within it. The
same people who do penance for the sake of the world so that God does not
destroy it because of its sinfulness. After the ultimate sacrifice of God and seeing
mankind’s habit to commit evil deeds no matter how much mercy or justice is done to them, a group of people formed themselves together to honor God’s sacrifice
and their prayers for pain were answered. Known simply as the Penitent, these
people inflict different penances on themselves based on their particular clan.
God gave them their penances based on what was agreed so that His justice would
not end the world before what was decided.
Clans in the north suffer in
freezing cold for man’s thirst for lust, other clans in the south suffer the
heat for man’s hatred and desires for violence, and another clan lives off the
charity of the other clans who don’t have as much as your average poor person.
The clan properly known as the Mortificationem are scarred and cut every single
time a crime goes unpunished. More specifically, the crime must be ignored by
those who can make reparations for it before those in the clan suffer for it and
the crime has to be one done against God rather than against a primarily man-made
law. Some think that the Mortificationem suffer the most out of all clans
because of the many unpunished crimes and certain ages of humanity, they’re right.
A girl from this clan wanders off from it as she is tired of the constant pain.
She stomps the ground beneath her
as she walks away from her home as fast as she can. As soon
as she bleeds for another unpunished crime, she claws at her skin as if trying
to take it off before yelling in anger.
“Why do I have to bleed and be in
constant pain every day, every second of my life?!” she says, “I can’t enjoy anything
in my life. My family and friends suffer like I do and some even die all for
the sinful world that we aren’t even a part of. Why do we have to suffer? Can’t
they suffer for their own sins? If there’s so little good in the world, then it
should just be destroyed.”
“Willow, Willow, follow my voice to
see this world,” a voice calls to her as her attention is drawn to the exit of
the penitential dimension.
Willow thinks that this voice was
just her imagination as heading towards and through the exit was on her mind, to
begin with. She then finds herself in a place with what looks like a strange
town to her in the distance. Looking back, she doesn’t see where she came from, and going back doesn’t bring her back where she was. This doesn’t bother her at all, in fact,
she feels free. After walking a considerable distance to the town, she notices
that she hasn’t been cut nor scarred. This is because the Penitent do not
suffer their particular penances outside of their dimension, which is something
that Willow is thankful is true.
It is also at this moment that she
recognizes that she is naked with nothing to wear and hide her nakedness. As
she gets closer to the town, she sees that the town is much more advanced than
her own with buildings that pierce the clouds and most of the town being made
of metal and concrete. Instead of horses, people ride in metal machines and
walk around with machines that produce light and sound and can be used as
communication devices. Theirs is the modern world while the Penitent’s is no
different than the medieval one. This makes Willow feel jealous of them while
also not since no one seems keen enough to help her.
Most people turn away while some
take pictures with their devices and have lustful thoughts in their minds that are made manifest on their faces.
Though she is visibly injured, scrawny, and average-looking with her brown hair
and eyes, she’s still viewed either as easy prey or a pitiable girl who got
what she deserved.
“I can see why I suffer so much. These
people won’t even ask if I’m okay,” Willow whispers to herself before noticed
and quickly taken into a house that’s near to.
She tries to fight back against her
captor despite the injuries on her body until the guy who took her in says, “Calm
down! I’m trying to help you!”
“You don’t forcefully grab someone
you’re trying to help! Let go of me!”
“The police would’ve arrested you
or worse people would’ve gotten a hold of you if I didn’t take you in,” the guy
says as he lets Willow go and gives her a large coat to wear, “What happened to
you? Do you need help?”
Taken off guard by the young man’s
honesty, Willow wears the coat given to her and takes a moment before saying, “Food
and water.”
“I can do that. Take a seat in the
kitchen.”
Willow follows the man and sits in
the kitchen as he quickly heats up some of the dinner he just made and gets her
something to drink. As she drinks and takes a better look at him, she sees that
the man is about her age. He has light brown hair, soft green eyes, and wears a
simple dark blue hoodie, black pants, and black work shoes.
“My name is Adriel. What’s yours?”
“Willow.”
“What happened to you?”
“I’ve been doing penances for-”
Willow’s words of her home and life get caught in her throat, “So it's true that
my throat won’t allow me to disclose my home and the nature of the penances
that I do.”
“I don’t know much about penance. I
just go to confession and church every week. Do you have a curse on you or
something?”
“You could say that. The least I
feel that I’m allowed to say is that if the world wasn’t so sinful, I wouldn’t
suffer this much. You seem to be the only good person in this town. This just
proves my idea that the world should just end.”
“Don’t say that. There are plenty
of good people in the world.” Adriel places Willow’s food on the table. “Here,
eat up. Maybe a full stomach will make you feel better.”
“I don’t think it-” Willow’s words
are cut off by the taste of the food that she doesn’t stop eating until it is
all gone.
“You must be really hungry if you
ate it all that fast. It’s not like I make the best food.”
“It was delicious! What was that?!”
“Chicken cutlets?”
“I’ve never tasted chicken like
this. We only have chicken maybe once every two months or so where I’m from. It’s
mostly bread, eggs, and fish.”
“You must come from a poor place if
that’s true.”
“You could say that.”
“So, do you feel better now?”
“Yes, but my point still stands.
Hey, you said that you don’t know much about penance. Do you not even try to do
penance for your sins or the sins of the world?”
“I do whatever penance the priest
tells me, give up something on Friday, and in the Easter season, but besides
that, I don’t do anything else that I’m not told to. It’s not like it’s expected
of me and no one really encourages me to do it. Why should I do penance for
other people anyway?”
Willow is both angered and tempered
by Adriel’s response since it’s basically the way she thinks.
“I can’t argue with that since I’d
rather not suffer any more for anyone else who doesn’t deserve it.”
“Then you can live here for now if
you’d like.”
“You’ll take care of me?”
“I don’t see why not. I’m not the
richest guy in the city, but I’m also not doing much with my money besides
paying bills, buying necessities, and going on the odd vacation here and there.”
“There must be something I can do
to repay you. I can clean your house or work some job that you have.”
“When you recover from your
injuries, we’ll talk about that. For now, you should rest.”
Willow gets up and hugs Adriel.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, take a shower
and get some rest.”
“What’s a shower?”
After Adriel tells Willow how to
take a shower and Willow enjoys her first shower, she sleeps on the couch in
Adriel’s house. Willow then dreams of the town of lights that she’s in turn
dark then decay into nothing. None are spared including Adriel. In the dark,
Willow sees a man with bleeding wounds on his body and a crown of thorns on his
head.
“I know who you are. What do you
want from me?” she says to him.
“You are being returned home by the
Sententia to continue your life of penance.”
“No, stop it! You can’t do this to
me! You’re so cruel! Not only will you not let me live a decent life, but you’ll
also send these Sententia after me, people who do your will then die shortly
after.”
“They know what true love is. You do
not.”
“How can you say that I don’t when
I’ve suffered all my life for everyone that I’ve loved and people who do not
deserve to be suffered for? Why won’t you destroy an evil and corrupt world?”
“Do you want me to destroy Adriel
along with it?”
“No, because he’s one of the few
good men in it. Don’t you dare touch him!”
“I’m sorry to say, but he has died
for his sins.”
“What?! What horrible sins did he
commit?! When did he die?”
“He died for his venial sins that
he kept going to confession for and not putting any effort into keeping away
from. As for his death, he died after leaving his house for work. He was going
to make breakfast for you, but you were taken away before then. If you had
continued to do penance, he wouldn’t have died.”
“You were the one who allowed him
to die! Why did he have to die for simple venial sins?!”
“There is no sin that is simple no
matter how small it is. It would be better for the sun to be blotted out from
the sky than for one sin to be committed.”
“What is the real cost of sin
anyways? What is so evil about it? If you are the truth itself, why not save us
the trouble and make sin good or erase it from existence in its entirety?”
“Look upon and touch my wounds at
your own risk if you wish to know the answer.”
Willow hastily does so and is met
with immediate and immense pain, but this is not the most excruciating part
of it. The most excruciating part is seeing the results of sin. Even the
smallest sin can lead to greater evils. For example, a man puts aside his
duties for a day to rest. He keeps up this habit until he puts aside all his
duties even to himself and everyone around him since his rest has become his
god. In another case, a woman doesn’t bother to strengthen herself against her
tendencies to lose her patience. Because of this, she constantly snaps at even
the smallest things and leads to her abusing both her children, friends, and
family. Many other examples too many to be counted overwhelm Willow’s head
until she wakes up back at her home.
All her wounds are open, and yet,
she is not dead nor does she mind the pain. Looking around the room, she sees
her family and friends praying for her. When they notice that she’s awake, they
thank God and ask where she’s been.
“I…I’m sorry. I ran away because I
didn’t want to suffer any more for anyone and didn’t know the cost of sins. I
even got a good man killed because of it,” she confesses.
Her loved ones don’t care for her
sins since she’s truly repented and is alive. After doing her penance, she
fully devotes herself to doing penance for the world especially for the holy
suffering souls in Purgatory where Adriel is. The two are occasionally allowed
to talk from time to time. Despite this being the general cycle of her life
until death, Willow gladly embraces it so that people like Adriel will be
saved and given a long life to live.
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