Saturday, November 11, 2023

Unremembered and Unimportant: Chapter 2 – Struggle of the Weak and Naïve

Chapter 2 – Struggle of the Weak and Naïve

As Josephine wakes up, she sits up and rubs her shoulders. It’s still raining and as dark as it was when she fell asleep. Regardless of the weather, she heads out and hopes to encounter the Servant again. In her wandering, she finds others who are Dead like her who have the same stitched together and half gray, half their original skin color on them. She finds them talking to the same people who fled from her, yelled insults, and threw things at her not too long ago.

Approaching one of them she says, “Hello. How did you get these people to talk to you? They didn’t want anything to do with me yesterday.”

“The Servant gives us the grace and talent to do different things. You’re just a Conduit for His changing will,” the Dead woman says. The people of the town begin to notice Josephine and slowly back away from the evangelists. “I think it’s better if you went on your way.”

“…yeah, but I don’t know where I’m supposed to go next.”

“The Servant hasn’t told you?”

“No, even though I talked to Him yesterday. I admittedly didn’t think to ask and just wanted to rest.”

“I understand that, but you’re among the Dead and a Conduit for the Servant. There’s little to no time to rest.”

“I…I know.”

Josephine stops herself from giving an explanation for her want to rest knowing that the Dead woman would view it as an excuse as everyone like her experiences the same things and continues on anyway.

“Regardless, we do have a Conduit here that will give you an idea of where you might need to go. He’s the man in a black hood and covered in ashes over there,” the woman says while pointing to the man.

“Thank you.”

Going over to the man, Josephine sees him praying on his bleeding knees.

“Excuse me? I was told that you could help me find out what the Servant wants me to do next?” Josephine asks.

The man looks up at Josephine with a genuine smile on his face despite the muck and blood coming from his eyes and head.

“Bless you for your service and want to serve the Servant. I was told about your arrival by Him and already know where He wants you to go,” the man says.

“Does He always tell you what you need to know?”

“Not always, but I am always talking to Him and I always see Him. He doesn’t always answer all my questions though. Still, I have an unfathomable blessing that few others have. In fact, we all do because we were all spared from justice despite our sins because of the Servant’s mercy and willingness to patiently wait and suffer for our sins. Do you know that He is the source of all truth and love? That is why He is the Servant. He does so much for us that we are obligated by love to do the same. And did you know that-”

“As much I’m sure that the Servant loves your splurging about Him, you’re beginning to scare away the converts as much as that girl is,” the woman from before interjects.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I’ll go back to praying and doing penance. As for you, Josephine, the Servant wants you to go north to erase another Light of the World, which will be straight ahead after turning the corner over there,” the man says while pointing in the direction Josephine is meant to go in. “Be careful around this one because it’ll challenge you in a personal way.”

“Thank you.”

As Josephine walks away, she breathes out as if she had just run a marathon. The man’s endless ramblings about the Servant somehow made her feel mentally exhausted while she was listening to him. She knows that he was right in what he was talking about, but also that she still has a lot to learn before she can love the Servant like the man does. While passing through the area, she realizes that she’s going through her old neighborhood. There are Dead and Conduits like her trying to convert her friends and neighbors to the truth, and unlike yesterday, they’ve opened their doors and seem to be having a civil conversation with them. The sight of this somehow makes Josephine both disgusted and relieved at the same time, so she walks away from the scene to not interfere with the evangelists.

Continuing on, she walks out of the rain and back into the lights produced by the Lights of the World. Josephine is both relieved to be out of the rain and nervous at the same time and becomes distraught at the realization that she’s constantly being torn in two by her emotions.

“Come on. Just look at the positive side of things. I’m making up for the actions of my past and helping others in the process,” Josephine says to herself.

Soon, Josephine finds herself in a suburban town with farms surrounding it. There’s not a person in sight or sign of life anywhere. Further in, Josephine explores a restaurant and finds people sitting and standing around motionless with smiles on their faces. Trying to get their attention, Josephine pushes them and tries talking to them, all of which result in nothing. She then tries to act as a Conduit for the Servant’s influence as she did before, but again, nothing happens.

“Maybe I have to find who’s causing this like I did last time,” Josephine says to herself while continuing to wander around the town until she comes across her parents who are in the same state as everyone else.

Her parents are sitting on a park bench overlooking a river. They’re smiling and holding each other in their arms. This sight tears Josephine in two as she is both happy to see them and worried for their safety and what could’ve happened to them to make them like this. She touches their faces and then hugs them.

“I’ll save you, mom and dad. I love you,” Josephine says.

While walking around, Josephine begins to notice that her skin is changing along with her outfit. No longer does she look like a stitched-together Frankenstein monster dressed in rags. Instead, she looks as she did before she prostituted herself for others. The people in the town are now moving while some are phasing into reality bit by bit. Among the people that are appearing are Josephine’s old friends. They approach her with friendly faces.

One of them says, “It’s so good to see you again!”

“Huh?” Josephine says.

“We’re sorry about what we told you yesterday. We were just upset at what you did, but now that we’re all in something better, it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t have mattered to begin with because we’re friends and we shouldn’t hate you no matter what you do.”

“You’ve done so much for us after all.”

“I’ve made an ice cream cake as my way of making up. Your favorite!” a friend says while showing Josephine the cake.

The design on the cake and what’s happening reminds Josephine of happier and simpler days when she would help out around people’s houses in the neighborhood and at school. She begins to cry tears of joy until she shakes her head and the feeling off of her.

“No, no, this is wrong,” Josephine says as she walks away from her friends.

“What’s so wrong about it?” a man says.

Looking around her, she doesn’t see the source of the voice even though the voice sounded like it came from somewhere close by.

“This is! This is fake!”

“Does it feel fake to you? What about smell? How about the looks of it? I can change whatever you want. This is your reality, after all.”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?”

“You can think of me as a friendly, concerned neighbor. I give everyone who enters my neighborhood the reality they want after picking through their memories.”

“I don’t want this! Let me go!”

“Don’t lie to yourself. You always want to be loved for what you do by your friends and family. Speaking of which…”

Josephine’s parents appear in front of her and give her a hug. As her parents shower her with affectionate words, she pushes them aside and runs away.

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” she says.

“What’s wrong? Is this not to your liking?” the neighbor says.

“This can’t be real. Even if this is, I saw my parents sitting motionless. What did you do to them?”

“Nothing. They are still sitting on the bench along with you. Both you, your parents, and everyone in this town are sitting or standing around in a state of undying, perpetual stasis with each one experiencing their own perfect version of reality.”

“A reality that you control?”

“No, they control their own reality. What you see and hear are all informed by your own wants and desires. In this way, everyone can live the life they want to without having to interfere with anyone else’s dreams.”

Knowing about her control over her circumstances, Josephine tries to imagine her way out of this reality and hears her family and friends screaming out as she does it.

“They’re not real, they’re not real,” Josephine says to herself.

“You can do anything you want in this reality. Why break free from it? Why cause your loved ones so much pain?” the neighbor asks.

“They’re not real!”

“They’re real here. Everything that you want to be real is real as long as you stay here. Why would you want to go back anyway? The Servant doesn’t need your help for anything. He has servants that He’s blessed with better abilities than you. You saw them not too long ago, didn’t you?”

“…I have, but He told me to come here to erase your false light.”

“One of His servants told you that He said that, but you didn’t hear Him say it yourself. It’s also obvious that you can’t do anything to stop me like you did with the other Light, so if anything, He sent you here and allowed you to be enraptured by my light so you can live in your own paradise.”

“No, that’s not true!”

“Is it now? Think of what you are to the Servant. A Conduit to His light. One of the Dead who no longer live for themselves. A sinner who spent her entire life in opposition to Him even if it was unknowingly. To Him, you are disposable. You’ve done your penance already. Now, it’s time to live your life for yourself and no one else. So, tell me, what do you want?”

Josephine is again surrounded by her friends and family who influence her to make a certain decision just by being there and looking at her with happy faces.

“I…I…I want to be happy and make other people happy.”

“And for what purpose?”

“Because it’s what I want to do.”

“That’s the right mindset to have. It’s the same mindset I have too, in fact.”

From the light of the sun, a being made of multiple heads appears. Tongues from one mouth on the body connect it to the mouth on its head and also act as pseudo arms and legs for it. The head on the body is the only one with its eye open and this eye is comprised of many colored eyes.

“It’s always bothered me to see people unhappy and in pain. In my old neighborhood, I was a community worker,” the neighbor says from the head on his chest as he approaches Josephine. “Because of the way the world works, no one could stay happy for long. One neighbor would die, another would fall into financial hard times, a parent would lose their job, a child would be hurt in an accident, and so on and so forth. It wasn’t until the Star, that had the light of the morning sun, did I think there’d be an end to the sadness and pain. Along with the other Lights of the World that it came with, it made the world better and made other Lights of the World, which included me. When I was offered the power to put people into an undying stasis where they would live in a reality of their making that fit their beliefs while also not interfering in the reality of others, how could I refuse it?”

The neighbor comes close to Josephine as he floats in the air. All his faces smile at her in an uneasily comforting way. Josephine gives a slight smile back in return.

“I understand,” Josephine says.

“I’m happy that you do and happy that you’re living for yourself and your own happiness. Maybe if the Star or another Light of the World comes by here, you can do the same as I do. Until then, I hope that you continue to be as happy as you can be.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome. Enjoy everything you have, neighbor.”

The neighbor dissipates into particles of light that go back into the sun. Josephine’s family and friends talk to her and to each other about how to spend the day. She enjoys her time talking, eating, playing, and doing community activities together. She’s happy to finally get what she wants, but at the same time, she can’t ignore a feeling of emptiness to it all.

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

Unremembered and Unimportant: Chapter 1 – Journey of the Insignificant

 Chapter 1 – Journey of the Insignificant

Today is another sunny day in the world. People happily wake up and go about their daily business with a smile and a welcoming anticipation for the day’s events. They worship the Light of the World of their choice and those who don’t worship live in harmony with those who do. Among the happy inhabitants is a woman dressed in black rags. Half of her body is brown while the other half is a cold gray all of which is separated by black stitching. One of her eyes is black and gold and her other eyes are red, black, and gold. No one is concerned about her even with the sinister smile on her face.

The woman enters a place of worship where a Light is meeting his worshippers and blessing them with wealth, possessions, and whatever else their heart desires. One person is even given the love of their life as the Light puts a spell on the lover so that they feel the same love the other feels for them. Before the couple can walk out, the mysterious woman emanates a darkness from her hand that wakes up the hypnotized lover from their trance before approaching the Light who takes an interest in her.

“My faithful worshippers, we are witnesses to a miracle. Before your eyes is St. Josephine,” the Light says.

Everyone in the worship center claps and cheers for Josephine and touches her as they pass her by and tell her how much she inspired them by her example. She has trouble moving forward for a moment before shaking her head and continuing forward.

“I’m surprised that you remember me,” Josephine says as she stands before the godlike entity of light.

“Why wouldn’t I?” the Light asks with a comforting smile on his face. “You were a woman of the people who did everything in her power to help people and make them happy and doing so until the moment you died.”

“I died the plaything of sick people. They tortured and raped me to their hearts and the demented hearts of everyone who watched.”

Everyone in the room waits for Josephine to continue talking as if she hadn’t made a point.

“And? You made so many people happy. If you didn’t constantly relieve people of their dark needs, who knows what they would’ve done to people in public.”

“Public, private, it doesn’t matter. I was tortured and so were other people.”

“It was your choice to be involved with it, and as far as I remember, you enjoyed it for the most part and invited others to do the same.”

Josephine turns her head in shame.

“…yes, I did, and I regret doing so.”

“You did? Even though you helped hundreds if not hundreds of thousands of people feel happier, which was what you wanted? Even though you received the praise of the people you helped and were showered with riches, possessions, and whatever and whoever else you wanted?”

“You gave me everything I wanted as long as I did everything you asked and believed what you wanted me to believe and convince others to follow my example. If I didn’t, you would’ve killed and thrown me in the trash earlier like you did with the rest of the Dead, but you won’t hurt anyone else anymore!”

As Josephine begins to levitate, the other half of her body turns gray and the rest of her hair turns red. Darkness then radiates from her that somehow shines brighter than the light from the godlike entity in front of her. It begins to consume the light around it and melt the Light itself into nothing more than dried bones and tattered clothes.

Everyone who witnesses this has their eyes opened to the truth that what they were worshipping was no god at all and that the foundation of their welfare and happiness is gone. In their fear, they run away while Josephine’s darkness continues to spread and have the same effect on everyone else it touches. Soon, the people in town are awakened by the dark and are unsure of what to do next, especially when the other Lights tell them what has happened. One of these Lights appears in the minds of the town and lets them know that they can run to any of them for help.

Josephine can even hear their voice as they say, “St. Josephine will no longer be considered a saint for the heinous and blasphemous crime that she has committed today.”

Those who aren’t running away towards another Light or cowering in their homes hurl insults and objects such as trash at Josephine when she passes by them. As the darkness continues to spread, the sky also changes as it quickly becomes cloudy and rains soon after. Because the people of this town know only sunlight and days and nights of endless sunshine, the rain scares and forces them to either run faster away from the town or run into a nearby building or house and lock it up so the rain doesn’t touch them. Continuing on her way, Josephine finds her way to her parent’s house and old neighborhood. She goes up to each door and tries to get them to open up for her.

“I don’t want anything to do with you!” one of her neighbors says.

“You’re a traitor!” a friend yells from inside the house without opening the door.

“You’re a disgrace!”

“Go away!”

“Get away from us, devil!”

All these insults from the people she once loved make her hesitant to knock at her parents’ door, but she does anyway with the small hope that they may answer.

“Mom? Dad! It’s me, Josephine! I’ve freed you from the influence of that false light. Please, open up,” she says while knocking.

Josephine knocks again and again and doesn’t receive an answer.

A next door neighbor yells out from their house, “Leave them alone already! You aren’t their daughter anymore!”

Seeing that her parents aren’t answering the door, Josephine walks away from her home and neighborhood. She tries to keep her head high before falling to her knees and crying in the rain. An entity forms out of the rain in front of her and holds up her hand with one of His nail-pierced hands. His body is pierced by many nails on His back, eyes, and head. As Josephine looks into His eyes, she sees that He understands her pain and she can feel her own being shared with it along with the rest of the pain and sadness that the entity bears.

Josephine doesn’t know what to say and just feigns a smile that appears demented as if she’d gone insane.

“I know how you feel. Speak and I will listen.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Josephine admits, “I’m thankful for this opportunity you’ve given me to make up for my mistakes and wake people up from the corruption of the Lights, but at the same time, I’m beyond miserable because I am hated by everyone I once loved. I know that you said I would be when you first talked to me while I was dying, but it was easy to accept the difficulties at the time. Will things get easier from now on? Will I ever be loved by another person again? Will I be forced to be homeless, despised by the world, and alone for the remainder of my new life?”

“You know the answer to all of those as I had told you how your life would be. It will not be easy living this new life of yours. You will be hated by the world as I am hated and will find no place to permanently lay down your head in peace, but you will not be alone because I will be with you through it all to bear your suffering and sadness and empower you to make it through what I have in store for you.”

The Servant disappears in the rain as if it were never there leaving Josephine not entirely alone but feeling like she was. Knowing that sulking in the rain will do her no good and that it would be a waste of the second chance she has, she picks herself up and looks for a secluded place to rest. She eventually finds one place in a dark and dirty alleyway that is dry enough to rest in and secluded so that no one will find her. After collecting the various rags and covering herself with them, she lies her head down with tears still in her eyes not only for herself but also for the people she loves.

Monday, October 30, 2023

My latest book collection is out today!



The most interesting heroes are the ones that could also be villains. This collection of short stories follows main characters who are the furthest things from saints, and yet, they'll struggle to do the right thing and help others and themselves. From death squad officers to men who have fallen from positions of power where they were like gods, these dark heroes have a lot to do if they want to become more than glorified devils. 
This book collects; A Devil by Any Other Name, How Evil Dies, No Need for Heroes, and Traitor of Traitors along with Behind the Story trivia for each story.

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Traitor of Traitors

In the nightmarish world of the present, being human is a temporary phase of life. By the time they turn seven, they can turn into a type of demon depending on the amount and type of sins they commit. A human can turn into an imp, the most pathetic type of demon that’s nothing more than a slave to those above them and who wish to be in their place. The next type of demon from imp is a servant, a less pathetic type that actually has the chance to make something of themselves but is also just as disposable. Finally, there are archfiends, who are the higher ranking workers and guards of society that keep it going, and their bosses, the demiurges who are also known as idols or gods.

The demiurges fight among themselves to have the most power and influence over the world. Dagon was the mightiest among them, but for some reason at the summit of his reign over the world, he disappears. Concerned over his safety for their own sake, his family and allies search for him worldwide. At first, they find strange signs of his influence that they don’t attribute to him. A group of imps that previously served under him protected a series of keys to his location. They talked about Dagon being kind to them and introducing them to a being known as the Highest, a God worshipped by the few remaining humans.

Now filled with more concern than ever, Dagon’s people redouble their efforts to find him. Their next place of interest is a temple of light that burns them even when they are in the dark. Many slaves are sacrificed in this effort, but they eventually do obtain the next piece of the puzzle that points them in another direction. It’s at this point that some of Dagon’s allies give up the search and go back to their territories to grow their power. A fight then breaks out between the demons and those loyal to Dagon end up executing the traitors and continuing on their journey.

Next, they find themselves in the most challenging place yet as the guards they find bleed a kind of blood that burns even the most heavily armored of them. Those touched by the blood of these guards are turned into nothing more than a puddle of blood. It doesn’t help that the guards don’t fall even when their heads fall off. Even when they are reduced to a pile of limbs, their decapitated parts still do their best to impede the intruders. Despite this, Dagon’s children are able to make it to the next clue after sacrificing each other to get it.

This next location is the place Dagon’s remaining loyalists think he is, however, all they find is an empty underground church filled with humans all of which can’t be disturbed no matter what the loyalists do to them. These people are deep in prayer, are bleeding from the eyes, and are all kneeling. They are like statues and yet alive when they speak in a language that hurts the ears of the loyalists. Continuing on as fast as they can, they search the area, find the last hint, and try to leave the church as fast as they can, however, the chanting of the humans grows louder. The sounds of their loud prayers and groans of penance are enough to blow up the heads of the loyalists. In addition, the doors of the church start to close.

Dagon’s wife slides under the door before it closes and doesn’t bother to hold it open for her children despite having the chance to, which leads to their deaths. Unphased by what happened, she goes to her husband’s hiding location by herself as the last remaining loyalist. The place where Dagon is found is underneath an abandoned church behind a door that is unlocked with all the keys that were found. Inside the room, Dagon is seen to be kneeling before an altar to the Highest. His skin is falling apart and rapidly decaying, and because of this, his wife tries to help him, however, two gray hands come out of Dagon’s head that tears away his skin from the inside out. During this, his wife is too scared and confused to move even as she hears him screaming from within his own body.

Once the gray figure tears itself out from Dagon’s body, it turns around to reveal itself to be a human, and not just any human, but Dagon in human form. Even with her depraved eyes, Dagon’s wife recognizes the man to be him. His eyes are gold and black and his skin is all gray, and despite its gray color, Dagon’s skin seems to radiate a light similar to that of the light that turned demons into pools of blood.

“Da…Dagon? Is it really you?” his wife asks.

“Yes, it is I.,” Dagon confirms, “Vaermina, did you sacrifice our children to find me?”

“I’ve sacrificed our children for lesser reasons, so yes, I have. All of them died so I could find you and bring you back home, but…”

“But I’m human and a worshipper of the Highest.”

“Why? You had everything! We had everything!”

“I had riches that collected dust and was won by shedding the blood of my enemies and influencing people who either hated me or would betray me. It was worth giving it all away.”

“And what did you gain in return?”

“Salvation, and you can have it too.”

“I’d rather have the power and influence we once had. Here I was holding out the hope that you were held hostage by one of our competitors or this ‘Highest’ entity, but no, you’ve gone insane!”

“I’ve come to my senses! I’m no god. I’m human and the Highest is the only God. I refused to live in this world full of people betraying each other, butchering and sacrificing their own family and friends for power, and pretending that we’ll live forever as rulers of the world when we’re nothing but slaves to our passions and wants.”

“If that’s how you see things, then you’ve left me no choice.”

“Are you going to kill me? Go ahead. I’ve already died and now my soul lives with the Highest.”

“The ‘Highest’ is nothing more than a rival deity who can be taken down like the rest, and when I’m done with you, I’ll go after it next.”

Vaermina’s arms swell, catch fire, and grow spikes as she charges an attack. Once her arms are completely charged, she uses both arms to punch Dagon with everything she has, but her arms blow up as soon as she hits him. She screams out in pain at the complete destruction of her arms whereas Dagon has not even suffered a scratch. With Vaermina on her knees, Dagon touches where her arms once were and heals her of her pain. Part of his own arms begin to bleed as a result.

“What…what are you doing?” Vaermina asks.

“What does it look and feel like? I’m embracing your pain to take it away from you and offering it up to the Highest in reparation for your evil actions,” Dagon says.

“Why?”

“Because despite everything you’ve done, I still love you. You’re still my wife and it’s my responsibility to help you save your soul.”

In this humbled state with nothing to lose, Vaermina considers what Dagon says for a few moments before her arms are restored. Now, Dagon’s arms are bloodied as if they were cut by dozens of blades.

“Is it even possible for me to be saved? To change at all.”

“I’ve changed, which means so can you.”

Dagon holds out his hand that Vaermina takes a second to take. Once she does, part of her red skin falls off to reveal the human being within it as she begins to accept betraying everything that she once was to be loyal to something greater than herself.

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

My 248th book is done and out for free today!



Pain and suffering are given to both the faithful and faithless so that they may grow closer to God. People are mutated and given supernatural abilities in addition to great crosses to bear. One of these people is a young soldier named Dante who is tasked by God to remind the Church of the redemptive power of pain and suffering for the sake of those outside of the Church.

Pain or Damnation: Chapter 4 – Blessed are the Defeated

Chapter 4 – Blessed are the Defeated

As Dante approaches the final wall, the Forsaken sprout out from the ground in chains and the sun’s golden rays are now mixed with a black light that somehow makes it more blinding.

“Blessed are the defeated,” the choir of Forsaken says in unison, “Blessed are those who suffer defeat at the hands of God for they will be humbled. God is glorified in the deaths of the wicked and repentance of the penitent as both show His power and majesty and contribute to His divine and mysterious plan for the good of all humanity.”

The people who live in this uppermost area of the city are confused by the state of the sun and this sudden appearance of penitents who are both mutated and not unnerved by their message. It doesn’t help that the Forsaken start chanting in Latin a prayer of penance and punishment for both the righteous and wicked alike. Dante slips through the crowds thanks to the commotion and makes it to the last wall. At his slightest touch, the wall crumbles revealing the farm that he once lived at. He doesn’t consider the sight of it as any kind of trick or trap and instinctively walks to it as his heart yearns for home. It’s only when the wall closes behind him that he considers that this may be another obstacle to him.

Before he can consider what to do to get out of this, his parents and fiancée see and go to him. They are shocked by his appearance and call out his name. A chill runs down Dante's spine as the fear of what to say to them fills him, and yet, he doesn’t run away and silently prays that he is given the right words to say to them on the spot. A sharp pain, sharper than any pain he’s felt before fills him instead to keep him in place and still able to speak, but not scream like his body wants him to do. Both his parents and fiancée recognize him as God’s grace allows them to know it to be him.

“Dante?” his fiancée, Anselma, says as he gets closer to him than his parents.

“I’m sorry that you have to see me like this,” Dante says as he tries not to look at her, “But I was given this pain by God and a task to remind the heads of the Church the value in suffering.”

“Look at you. We told you that becoming a soldier wouldn’t lead to anything good,” Dante’s father says.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“We did,” his mother says, “But this could not possibly be the will of God. You’ve made another foolish decision by accepting whatever task a demon or something pretending to be God gave you.”

“I can hardly stand to even look at you,” his father adds. “It’s as if just looking at you makes me share in your curse.”

Three of the Forsaken pop out from the ground, and say in unison, “That is because you’re family and a family should bear each other’s crosses.”

These Forsaken are a father, mother, and son all of which are tangled in thorny vines that are decorated with various kinds of colorful flowers and wear similarly colorful vestments that are not too far off from something one would wear at mass, however, they are all bleeding from various parts of their skin, eyes, and mouth and their faces show how much pain they are in. Dante’s parents are frightened by their appearance while Anselma and Dante are undisturbed.

“Who are you?!” Dante’s father asks.

“We are family and suffer for the sake of all families in the world since we are all related in one way or another. That is all you should know,” they say. “Dante, this next obstacle will be a nearly impossible challenge for you to bear, unless your loved ones wish to bear your pain with you.”

In an instant, a tidal wave of pain overcomes Dante forcing him to his knees. He screams and bleeds so profusely that he almost seems like he’s going to die because of it, and yet, he doesn’t much to the surprise of his parents and himself. Anselma is the only one who isn’t surprised as she has prayed to accept part of Dante’s pains, which have relieved a bit of what he is going through. Because she’s done this, cuts form on her limbs, body, and face, which she begins to bleed from.

“Anselma…you didn’t…have to…” Dante says.

“No, I did,” Anselma says in a pained voice, “I did because I love you.”

Tears of blood flow from Anselma’s eyes, but despite this, she tries to smile and put on a comforting face. Looking over to Dante’s parents, the two lovers eagerly await their decision and are disheartened to see them run away into the house.

“I’m sorry, Dante,” Anselma says.

“No, it’s fine. I had a feeling they would choose to not help,” Dante says, “I’ve always been a failure in their eyes. I’ve never been good at helping on the farm, helping with the business side of it, I’m not a good soldier, and I’m a failure of a fiancé.”

“No, don’t say that because it doesn’t matter. God calls us to be faithful, not successful, after all.”

“Woe to you who are abandoned by those whom God has placed in their hands, but do not despair, for your true family is in Heaven,” the Forsaken say.

The Blessed Mother, caretaking father of the Church, his guardian angel, and other saints that Dante prays to appear in a ray of light around him and Anselma and help alleviate his and Anselma’s pain as it continues to grow. As for Anselma, her pain grows until she falls to the ground and starts to bleed rivers of blood. Dante is unable to say or do anything because of the pain he’s in and can only hope to take some of her pain away.

“O…okay…I accept,” Anselma manages to say before looking and smiling at Dante one more time and exploding into a torrent of blood that takes him away from his home and back to the top of the City of the Seven Hills.

He now stands at the gates of the Most Blessed Church where the heads of it meet and worship.

“Anselma…” Dante says as he puts his head and arms of blood up against the door, “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure your sacrifice for me wasn’t in vain.”

Dante begins to cry and as he does, he can feel an invisible hand wipe away his tears and comfort him. In his heart, he knows it to be Anselma so he throws away his sadness and continues forward. The inside of the Most Blessed Church collects the best decorations, works of art, and structural designs of the entire city as if every part of it can be found here from the seemingly never-ending library to the feast hall and to the sanctuary where mass is held and priests and nuns are in constant adoration of God in the Blessed Sacrament. Despite the many rooms and places to go, Dante knows where to go as he follows where he feels that Anselma is guiding him. Eventually, the room that he finds himself in is the ever-expansive meeting room where the cardinals and archbishops debate and create new laws for the Church along with kings and queens. This room is either busy or completely empty, but today, a singular inhabitant sits in the room at the head of it all, the leader of the entire Church, the Bishop of the City of the Seven Hills, Januarius.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Dante,” Januarius says.

To give him proper honor, Dante kneels on one knee and bows his head. Januarius slowly descends from his throne and the stairs at the head of the room with his holy robes flowing from him and suspended in the air as if held by angels so that they wouldn’t be dirtied by the floor.

“I’ve seen you in a dream,” Januarius continues, “You seek to remind me of the value of pain and suffering for others, and as such, you are blessed, and at the same time, cursed and on a needless journey. I already know the value of pain. I do my fair share every day along with various priests, nuns, penitents, and the Forsaken.”

“I’m here to remind you to do penance for the heathens and heretics as well.”

“Let those charged with that penance take care of it. I have my own to take care of.”

“But everyone in the world both faithful and unfaithful are under your care!”

“I care for them by getting the right people to care for them. Think of the kingdoms and places that the Church controls. They are crime-free for the most part. People live humble, comfortable lives to the age of ninety on average. The only thing they need to worry about is their own, keeping the state of their soul in check, and the weather.”

“What about the cities in danger because of the threats from heretical and heathen nations?”

“I have armies to protect them and penitents and evangelists who will convert our enemies. There’s nothing more for me to do because I am fulfilling my task to the letter. I am leading souls to Heaven and giving others the same task. I have done nothing wrong.”

“Then explain your dream of me coming here to remind you of the value of suffering for others. You are clearly mistaken.”

“Then, by all means, show me the error of my ways.”

Dante stands up and his arms of blood change into crossbows that fire two bolts of blood into Januarius. The bishop begins to transform as he sprouts withered wings made of faded gold with black spikes at the end. One of his arms turns into a black wing while his other hand turns into a claw. A broken halo like a set of demonic horns sprouts from the sides of his head and the broken pieces come out from where his eyes used to be. Parts of his chest decompose to reveal the black heart within him. In addition, a black nail juts out from his remaining hand and his two bird-like feet. All his holy vestments have withered into nothing leaving only a long purple cloth to cover his loins. With the transformation complete, Januarius screams out in the immense pain he is now in and reveals the sword-like tongue and black dagger-like teeth in his mouth.

“So…so, this is it? True pain? You would introduce this to the people of the Church who comfortably live in peace and who have done nothing to deserve it?” Januarius asks.

“It’s as God wills. Who am I to disagree? To do so and fight against His will is blasphemy and would damn my soul,” Dante says.

“No, no! I won’t allow it! If it is blasphemy to stop this suffering from infecting my flock, then it is a holy blasphemy to commit!”

Januarius flies up into the air and then charges at Dante, slashes at him with his new claws, and shoots at him with beams of searing gold light. For some reason, Dante’s body feels as if it’s unable to move. His arms don’t even change to accommodate the fight and just stay as streams of blood coming from the stumps where his arms once were. Still, he tries to fight, but the pain in his body keeps him mostly stationary and susceptible to attacks that keep putting him on the ground. He gets up repeatedly until he feels like he can no longer move. Januarius then stands over him and plunges his claws into Dante’s exposed heart, and in the blink of an eye, Dante finds himself back where he saw God and the two doors that lead to two different lifepaths.

“What happened? Wasn’t I supposed to fight him or was I supposed to die? Again?” Dante asks the Lord.

“You died again and were supposed to. Pick a door.”

Dante looks at the two doors. One door’s description reads, ‘die’ while the other reads ‘live’.

“At this point, is there really a choice?”

“Yes. You have the free will to make your own choice.”

Looking back at the descriptions on the doors, Dante squints his eyes and the words ‘die’ change in a blur to the words ‘be faithful’ while the words ‘live’ change to ‘damnation’.

“Whoever wishes to save his life…I get it. I remember the scriptures and I choose to be faithful. I was never meant to win this battle. It was always meant to be Your victory and Yours alone.”

Going through the ‘die’ door, Dante sees himself back where he once was looking down on his body being stabbed by Januarius. A flood of blood overwhelms the bishop and then washes over the entire city from top to bottom touching even the hidden areas where the Forsaken are.

“Januarius will now fall in the footsteps of his faithful predecessors and be the foundation on which the Church will be rebuilt. Even now, I speak and instruct him on how to faithfully suffer and use it as penance for the souls of many,” the Lord says.

“I see. My task is over then,” Dante says.

“Yes, and you can see the fruits for yourself.”

Angels bring over a mirror for Dante. He looks into it and sees that his once bloodied body is now shining gold from where he was once injured. The mirror also reveals the image of God in it as well. Ascending into Heaven, he sees Otello, Anselma, and many others showing up that he doesn’t recognize. In his mind, God reveals to him that these people were saved thanks to the new penances done for them that allowed them to have a good final confession.

Everyone in Heaven gathers around, their penitential wounds shining like medals won in a competition and their hearts beating with joy. They take part in the endless celebration of the mass and are given a share of the Thorny Crown of True Love and a place that has been prepared for them since the beginning of time. Together they all sing God’s praises and pray for those below who need it, especially those who are in pain, for blessed are those who suffer for they are closest to God.

 

The End

Sunday, October 22, 2023

Pain or Damnation: Chapter 3 – Blessed are the Forsaken

Chapter 3 – Blessed are the Forsaken

No one stays mutated for long around the City of the Seven Hills. Some say it’s because of the city's holiness or because the poor and weak are more visible to those who still pray and do penance. Those who live for conspiracy and intrigue even guess it's because the mutated are hidden away in the depths of the hills out of sight of the general public. Regardless of the case, few people see those mutated and blessed with pain and thus don’t worry about the suffering of others as much and just assume that it’s a problem far removed from them, which should stay that way. Today, that is about to change as Otello and Dante arrive and have their goal in sight.

From a distance, Dante sees the entire beauty of the holy city as the hills appear to lead to Heaven. Even from here, he can see the beautiful white buildings and make out bits of their gothic architecture that reach out to the sky as if they are reaching out to God. This appreciation for the city’s beauty grows as they get closer and make out more of the buildings’ features and the statues that decorate them.

“It’s been so long since I’ve last been here. I’m glad that the city hasn’t lost any of her beauty,” Otello says.

“It’s my home,” Dante says, “My fiancée and I would come out here and look at the entire city from afar on starry nights.”

“Would you like to visit her and your parents?”

“No, I’d rather not have them see me this way.”

“I understand, but you’ll have to see them again after completing your God-given task.”

“No, I won’t. I was told that I’ll die after completing it.”

“Oh. Perhaps that is a blessing then because I dread showing my loved ones my current appearance.”

“If you say so. I had so many plans for my life such as marrying my fiancée and having a family with her on my family’s farm…forget it. Talking about a closed-off future tempts me to hate God for my current condition and makes me regret it.”

“That’s right. Keep your eyes forward. We’ll get through this together, and soon after, Heaven will be yours. Think about that instead.”

“I will.”

While approaching the city, the ground beneath them begins to shake. After which, a swarm of bug men emerges from the ground clothed in white and gold armor, wings of light, and halos above their heads. They stop the two in their tracks with their praying mantis-like claws out in front of them ready to attack.

One of them says, “We know who you are and we cannot allow you to pass.”

“How do you know us and why not? Can’t you tell that we are blessed?” Dante asks.

“We have been told to be an obstacle to you by God. You will reintroduce unneeded suffering and pain to the Church and her faithful. Is that not reason enough to stop you?”

“No, it’s not because we are commissioned by God to do this. A Church built on the blood of God needs to remember the value of pain,” Otello says.

“Then you leave us no choice, but to silence you for your false piety.”

The swarm of insect men begins to swarm and attack the two all at once. To counter them, Dante’s arms of blood change into long blade-like whips that he uses to disperse the swarm and finish them off in mere seconds.

“Good work. If you had the same abilities that you do now during our first fight, I probably would’ve lost,” Otello says.

“It’s only because of these abilities that I can do these things. Like I said before, I don’t have full control over these arms. I can’t choose what they change into nor do I put much effort into what I can do with them, but never mind that. Those people said that God made them to be an obstacle to us. What do you think it means?”

“A misunderstanding or, as they said, they were an obstacle put by God. Perhaps as a test of faith.”

“Test is right. When I heard them mention reintroducing unneeded suffering and pain and them being an obstacle set in front of us by God, it made me reflect on what we’re doing. Were we actually commissioned by God or a devil pretending to be Him?”

“It was God. I’m sure of it.”

“Are you just sure of it because what we’re doing fits with what you want to do?”

“Yes, I’m sure of it and I’m not blinded by my own view of reality. In fact, my eyes have never been more open. Remember that the devil wants us to have an easy life whereas God allows us to be tested and forges us like weapons in the fires of tribulations to become what we’re supposed to be. As I said, perhaps this was a misunderstanding and they thought they were supposed to protect the Church from what they perceived as evil, or maybe it was they who were tricked by a devil. One thing is now clear to me and that they were more of an obstacle to you than me because of what they said and not by their strength.”

“Yeah, you’re right. You’re right in everything that you said. Let’s continue on so I can keep the tempting thoughts out of my head.”

“I will. Stay strong, Dante. Our goal is in sight.”

Dante nods and keeps his eyes on the top of the City of the Seven Hills where the head of the Church resides. During his journey, his pain has been manageable, but now that he’s near its end, the pain has inexplicably been intensified. The wind feels like small blades that cut his skin, every breath hurts his chest, and the floating red crown around his head feels as if it’s putting a heavy weight on his head while the golden half of his face burns. All this pain he offers up for his previous sins and the sins of others, which comforts him a bit, but not enough for him to completely bear it. With no other option, he prays for help and wisdom, and before he knows it, he can feel Otello pick up speed as they near the walls of the city.

“Hold on tight!” Otello says.

To protect him, Dante’s arms turn into a giant red shield that protects him as Otello breaks through the walls of the city. The citizens who witness this are startled and confused as to why this is happening while the guards mobilize to kill these two intruders. They get on their horses and try shooting at them. Dante’s arms switch form again and change into tiny threads that deflect and crush the arrows they catch. Before he knows it, they have the next wall in sight, so Dante’s arms change back into a shield, however, when Otello breaks through the wall, both he and Dante find themselves in a grassy field.

“What happened? Where are we?” Dante asks while not expecting an answer.

“I don’t know,” Otello says, “Perhaps this is a trick, an illusion.”

Otello continues to run but finds that he’s going nowhere as if the grassy field goes on forever. It’s then that they hear a voice in the distance. When they get closer to it, they see a preacher made of son and clothed in black searing chains.

“Blessed are the forsaken for they shall realize the pleasures of this life are nothing and vain, and that only a life focused on God is worth living even if it is devoid of happiness and conventional joy,” the preacher of stone says.

“You’re a penitent who understands the value and use of pain and suffering. Who are you?” Otello says.

“Who I am doesn’t matter. I am only an obstacle to you given by the Lord. I am among other penitents called the Forsaken who do penance in secret for the sake of the faithful and lost members of the Church so that all who are close to salvation will be saved by God at their deaths. You have met some of these penitents and fought through them outside of the walls.”

“They too said they were obstacles given to us by God. Are there more of you as we approach the walls?”

“Yes, but not all the Forsaken are. They do penance in seemingly unreachable parts of the city, the world, and, in my case, my own place in Purgatory. As for the obstacle I present, it is not trapping you in this dimension, but a series of questions and concerns.”

“Then all I need to do to overcome it is not listen.”

Otello begins to run away from the preacher, however, he keeps encountering him in the fields as if teleporting in this infinite plane of existence, so he stops running and instead, fortifies his mind while Dante does much the same.

“You should know the value of pain better than most, Otello,” the preacher says, “Your example of using it has converted many heathens and heretics alike. Each of us has our own cross. Parents must attend to their children and community while kings, queens, and priests must shepherd hundreds if not millions of people. Your cross was to convert the lost and searching and to defend the Church from her attackers. Are you sure that it is now to make others share in that pain?”

“Tch,” Otello says while trying not to listen.

“As for you, Dante. Your young life is cut short through this quest already nearing its end. Are you satisfied with the life you have lived? Have you gained wisdom beyond your years to know that this is the right choice or have you figured out that wisdom in itself is useless unless it can used to glorify God, who is truth itself? Is the blessed pain that you carry too much to bear or are you able to carry it to your Golgotha?”

Dante can’t help but listen to the preacher as if his voice is resonating in his mind. In the blink of an eye, the scene and preacher disappear and the two find themselves on the other side of a wall that hasn’t been damaged. On the other side of the wall, they can hear the guards on their horses come to the wall and be confused at what happened as if they had disappeared for only a moment. Not wanting to waste any time, Otello continues to run up the hill and to the next wall. While heading upwards, Dante sees bits of red on Otello’s fur and even feels blood seeping out of his armor.

“Are you okay?” Dante asks.

“Yes, I am,” Otello says in a slightly pained voice.

“But you’re bleeding!”

“Am I now? I’ve silently prayed to God so that I could share in your pain and help you bear your cross. I’m ashamed to admit that it never occurred to me to do so despite priding myself on bearing the pains of others.”

“Don’t be and thank you for helping me.”

At this moment, Dante can feel his pain lessen and become bearable. He lifts his head higher with renewed strength and to ready himself for the next challenge ahead. Word from the guards on the other side of the wall where they once were is too slow to reach the guards on the side they are on now, which allows them to reach the next wall without any resistance, however, the ground falls out from under them this time. They slide down a hole that leads them to a tunnel decorated with hundreds of faces and skulls on the side of it.

“Is this some sort of crypt?” Dante asks.

“I don’t know. If it is a crypt, then it’s a crypt for the Forsaken,” Otello says.

One of the faces suddenly springs to life with wide eyes and then says, “If only it were a crypt and we dead, but oh, what a curse and blessing of pain that would bring on our people.”

“We have helped carry the crosses and endured the punishment of many in the Church ever since it abandoned suffering for the sake of others outside of it,” another says.

“We have helped others in their suffering during the early days of the Church,” yet another chimes in.

“When you accomplish your goal, hardly anything will change.”

“We present to you the obstacle of inevitability. Of the reality that humanity wants to avoid as much suffering as possible even if it is their God-given duty.”

“Even if they know souls will be lost because of it.”

“Even if they know they will not merit a higher place in Heaven. They think to themselves, ‘What is the difference between being at the lowest or highest point in Heaven anyway’? It’s still Heaven after all.”

“There’s some virtue in their way of living, and some danger of corruption at the same time.”

“They will not go beyond their duties for the sake of their enemies in contrast to what the Lord does.”

“Who can blame their thinking when they fulfill their duties as far as they are concerned?”

“Even if you convince most of the Church to change, they may be corrupted in a different age or become self-centered at another time.”

“Do you wish to continue despite this reality?”

Dante and Otello look at each other before nodding and saying that they will.

“We can see the honesty in your hearts. You may continue.”

Part of the tunnel collapses and the dirt that has fallen turns into a set of stairs that Otello uses to climb and get out of the tunnel. The two now find themselves on the other side of the wall and even closer to the summit of the city. Their goal feels as if it is now in arms reach as they can see that only two walls remain in their path.

“We’re almost there, friend,” Otello says before shuttering in pain.

“Are you okay? This is a result of the pain you are sharing with me, isn’t it? I can feel it too. You don’t have to bear this cross with me any longer,” Dante says.

“What are you talking about? We’re on this journey together so your burdens are mine to share.”

After gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath in, Otello continues to charge forward towards the top. Here, the guards were given an advanced warning about their arrival and have archers ready to fire at them and men on horses at the ready to give chase. Once the trap is sprung, they waste little time in attacking the two, however, Dante’s shields and Otello’s speed are too much for them to handle leading to some of the Church’s best defenses being ruined and run through as if they were done by amateurs, which in turn humbles the guards and causes them to argue among themselves and debate whether or not Dante and Otello were sent by God for a greater purpose that they are powerless to stop from happening. Their arguing and infighting allow Dante and Otello to continue through the district without much resistance. They reach the next wall ready for the next obstacle, but their readiness is swept out from under them as they are instantly transported to a battleground between soldiers with wings on their backs.

At first, Otello and Dante think they are demons and angels, but they recognize some of the faces as famous saints or people who were notable for their faith and works during their lifetime. The two then look at each other and Dante is surprised to see that he’s off Otello and that the man is no longer a bull.

“Otello! You’re back to normal!” Dante points out.

After looking at himself and feeling his hands, face, and chest, Otello says, “I am! I wonder why…”

One of the saints armored in black and gold descends upon the two. She says, “Good day to you, honorable penitents.”

“What is this?” Otello asks.

“You are witnessing the never-ending invisible battle between angels and demons for the souls of men, which will only end when the Lord comes again at the end of time. What does it look like to you?”

“Angels, saints, and demons in the form of men fighting each other. The demons have blinding gold and white armor and wings while the angels and saints have black and gold armor and wings,” Dante says.

“I see. Your mortal minds might not be able to comprehend this if it was shown bluntly to you so what you’re seeing is an approximation of it.”

“Are you another of the Forsaken? Are you going to present another obstacle to us?” Otello asks.

“Obstacle? No, not at all. Instead, I present a goal for you in particular Otello.”

“What do you mean? Dante and I are supposed to be correcting the Church together.”

“You have done your part. You were only meant to be his key to get in.”

“But one more wall remains.”

“He’ll make it through that on his own with the help of another and the wisdom you have given him so far. Your place is to now here on the battlefield with us.”

“With the living dead?”

“Yes, with us. You are the same after all.”

“…what? I’m dead?”

“Yes and no. You will be like the saints and angels if you choose to fight with us, but you will be with the demons if you refuse.”

“What about me? Am I alive and dead?” Dante asks.

“You are in a similar state, but not yet. Not until you accomplish your goal. So, Otello, will you be joining us? God needs your efforts here.”

“I…I need a moment. It’s all so sudden.”

“What happened to that man who bullishly jumped at the opportunity to do God’s will at a moment’s notice?”

“Got me there. Alright, alright. I’ll join you.”

“Otello!” Dante says as his friend leaves his side.

“It’s okay, Dante. If my place is meant to be here, then there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sure that you’ll accomplish your task. You have God with you after all.”

“Wait!”

Dante tries to reach out to Otello, but he is suddenly transported back into reality and on the other side of the previous wall. Looking behind him, he sees the final wall and the meeting place of the Church’s leaders sitting at the summit of the highest hill. He notices that his pain hasn’t increased much as if Otello is still bearing part of his burden with him.

“I’ll succeed. For once in my life, I’ll succeed at something, and this will be it,” Dante says to himself before walking to the next wall.