Quelled by Pain: Chapter 2 – The Love in Hatred (Text Only)

Chapter 2 – The Love in Hatred

“Huh? What’s going on?” A mirror appears in front of me and I look into it and see that I’m my younger self again. “What kind of dream is that?”

My dad appears in place of the mirror. “I’ve always been proud of you even though you didn’t accomplish as much as your brother.”

He quickly fades away and my mom appears next. “I’ll always love you. No matter what.”

“And me too.”

“You’ll always be my best friend.”

“We’ll always be with you.” Isla, Charlie, and Enzo, my first, lifelong best friends, appear one after the other.

This isn’t a pleasant memory of the past coming back to me as a dream. Sensing something wrong with it, I pray to the Sufferer for guidance.

“But why did you do it?”

“Why turn your back on us?”

“Didn’t you love us?”

“I thought you cared for us.”

“But you left us to be-”

“-damned.” Everyone I knew appears in front of me and their bodies corrode into black ash as memories of their damnation come back to me. “We suffer eternally because of you.” “It’s your fault we ended up this way.” “How could you do this to the people you love?” “To the people you wanted to save?”

I continue praying and shaking as I try to ignore all their accusations until I turn back into my current self and wake up from the dream. However, I find that I’m not fully awake. My body is paralyzed, and I’m only able to blink and look around at the figures that seem to be forming out of the shadows of the church.

One of the figures turns into Mikheil who walks over and stands over me. “I was going to give you a dream of happy days before disappointing you at the end, but you had to ruin it like you do with everything else.”

“The Lord rebukes you, devil!” Using one of the prayers taught to me by the Suffering, the shadows in the dark and Mikheil disappear and I can finally fully move around. I won’t be discouraged by memories of the past. They may still cause me grief, but I won’t allow that grief to overtake me. For the rest of the night, I’m unable to sleep, so I pray until I eventually do.

When I wake up in the morning, I eat breakfast, comprised of a simple meal of bread, eggs, and water, with my new friends. “I’m surprised you have so much to feed everyone here.”

“Funny you say that. I didn’t want to leave anyone out of today’s meal, so I used up everything we had and we have to go out to get more.”

“Unlike other allied groups, we don’t have a small farm or place to get water, so we have to take supplies from the nearby town, which is fine with me. Today is the day we attack it again. That is what you have in mind, right, Adler?”

“That’s right and I plan on bringing you and your brother along with me. Are there any particular objectives or targets that you already have in mind?”

“There was a group of four we were partnered with back in the town that we’ve been meaning to reestablish contact with after our previous hideout was compromised, but we haven’t been able to get to it, so I say that we you guys should check for any signs of them to see if they’re okay.”

“I have to argue against that. I’ve looked into those people’s hearts before and they weren’t completely set on doing the right thing and hardly set on serving the Sufferer.”

“You were fine with me starting the group and leading us when my heart hadn’t completely submitted itself to the Sufferer.”

“Well, they didn’t abandon a high-paying and influential place of power because the Sufferer talked to them in a dream like you did, and even then, I didn’t completely trust you until some time had passed.”

“Aww, and here I thought you kept looking at me so much because you had feelings for me and were waiting for the right opportunity to tell me.”

“Let’s get back on topic, old hag.”

“You should never point out a woman’s age, especially your ex-leader’s.”

“Alright, alright, let’s focus. We’ll look into finding those people if we can. Besides that, our main objectives are to get more supplies for our base and to see where the king is residing in the town. Agreed?”

“Sure.”

“Agreed.” While Johnny, Osiris, and I make a trip to the town, Kami and Bryce stand behind to protect and instruct the new converts in the truth of the Sufferer.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, I see that the ruined town looks worse up close as many of the buildings are burned, broken, or utterly destroyed. “This is all your doing?”

“Not exactly. We have been converting people and battling against the king’s forces here, but other people who refuse to take either side have also started trouble here as well.”

“They’re just a nuisance and useful idiots that the king uses to cause us more problems and tell the world that we bring nothing but death and division. I say, we go in, take whatever we need by force, and then leave.”

Johnny takes out his pistol in addition to his knife. “While we’re at it, we could hit a few key targets loyal to the king and ask them where he is, but also…”

“Why should we waste time with conventional weapons when we could use the ones the Sufferer has given us?” Johnny says in his Necessary form, a dark pink and red alienlike thing with two mouths on his face with a single eye in the middle, a cloak covering his body, a separate black cloak covering his legs, and two arms on the left side of his body with an eye in the center of each hand that has seven fingers.

“No, Johnny. This is just a supply run and reconnaissance. Use your conventional weapons if need be so they don’t suspect that we’re here and only use your Necessary form if things get worse.”

“Your brother is right. You’ll get your chance to fight the enemy soon, but let’s take it easy, for now.”

“Tch, all right. Fine.” Walking into the town, we find very few people around and cars passing through. Everyone seems to have an air of misery about them, and some people are just on the floor shaking and mumbling to themselves like addicts in need of a fix. No one around here seems to recognize Johnny or Osiris even when we pass by patrolling guards, which is good. As king of the world, Mikheil and the Light can appear anywhere and they typically know everything that goes on, so allowing us to wander the town like this is either a good or bad sign.

When we get to one of the food stores, we find many guards there keeping the hungry and angry crowds under control while handing out supplies only to those who can pay. The situation quickly boils over and a fight starts breaking out between the civilians and guards.

We use this confusion to our advantage and slip through the crowds to take whatever we need. I remind the brothers that, “Take whatever is natural. Everything else is laced with drugs.”

“The newer stuff shouldn’t be. The farms and food processing places have been either abandoned or destroyed by our allies in the past few weeks ever since we got news of there being drugs in the food.”

“That’s a relief to hear.” I hold in my additional comment that it was my friends and me who discovered the fact of there being drugs in the food so I can tell my new friends the story later. After obtaining enough, we run away as more guards come to reinforce their own. The brothers and I then go to one of their old safehouses to store the food for now and look over the remains of it for any information on our missing allies. While using the computer that’s still working, I find that the news doesn’t know where the king is and it’s said that he’s been missing for weeks. “Huh. I wonder why Mikheil hasn’t shown himself in public for a while. It’s causing a lot of anxiety for his subjects.”

“Probably because of the state he’s in. Also, in the history books when the situation in the world gets as bad as it is now, the Light typically comes out of nowhere with an army of light and retakes the world in a matter of days. It’s one of the reasons why I want to hurry things up and get to him as soon as possible.”

“We’ll get to him. Don’t you worry-” A beeping notification comes up on the screen of the computer. Clicking it, I find that it’s an SOS asking for help and it gives me an address.

“It’s from the missing group! They must’ve found a way to send us this SOS since only they and our allies know about how to send us one.”

“Really? Now of all times? Click the notification to see if they sent us any previous ones and how new this SOS is.”

“This one was just sent and the previous ones were sent weeks ago.”

“I remember the days of those old SOS calls, which were when we still used this place. This new one is suspicious and could be a trap.”

“Regardless, we have to check it out.”

“You’re right. You did want to see some action today anyway, Johnny.”

“Oh, I’m not arguing about not investigating it. I’m just saying we should be prepared to be betrayed and for a trap, so don’t mind me readying my weapons just in case.”

“There’s no argument from me here.” The brothers and I go out to the address given to us by the SOS and find ourselves on the outskirts of the town where no one is and there’s an ominous silence. A few seconds pass before I home in the presence of a group of attackers who surround us.

Most of them are assassins dressed in dark gold armor and armed with sharp blades at the ends of their fists. They’re nothing I haven’t dealt with before, but the other four are more interesting and tragic.

These other four people have abandoned the Sufferer and are in a perversion of their Necessary forms, which are called Excessive forms. One of them is part dog, part bull with horns sticking out of his head, two tails, one eye that is red while the other is black, a claw for a hand and bull’s leg for his other hand, and shades of golden fur all over his body. He says, “I am glad you answered our call for help. Now, it is time for us to help you.”

“I already know what you’re going to say and the answer is no.”

“Always the one to jump to conclusions,” a woman with many teeth and mouths comprising her body and a tongue flowing from the back of her head says. “You were never one to give us a chance and have to take partial blame for us siding with the Light.”

“Serving him was a sad existence whereas serving the Light has given us a happier life.” This next man is lanky and has many crying eyes on his head, body, hands, and feet.

“He filled a void within us that the Sufferer put in our souls. With him, we are filled with joy, peace, and purpose.” This man is in pieces and every part of him is disconnected in strange ways.

“You’re all full of yourselves and sin. Boys, you can let loose now.”

“Finally,” Johnny says, already in his Necessary form.

“Yes, sir. Engaging the enemy,” Osiris says in his Necessary form. As we clash with the enemy, a fog-colored gold envelops the scene, and in it, I feel an all too familiar presence.

“What tricks do you have now, Mikheil? Show me them.”

“There is no trick. We are here to remind you of the facts of the past.”

“And the tragic effects of the suffering you have endured. You are serving the wrong god. The one worshipped in the past by the Catholics and all churches works with the Light. The god you are serving is a devil pretending to be him.”

“I know of the false history you speak of, but you don’t know how the Light got rid of the sacraments of the Church, every prayer that could be used against him, how the Scriptures and history have been destroyed and rewritten to favor the Light, how the Sufferer’s name has been forgotten forever, the desecration of the churches and all the art within them, and that’s all on top of all the faithful who were killed, betrayed, tortured, and persecuted for doing their duty. You are all being deceived.”

“You may think that but what the Sufferer has done shows differently. I know and feel all the sadness and tragedy you’ve endured up until this point and how it weighs you down. Ask yourself if a truly good god would allow your loved ones and many others to suffer eternal damnation. Would he allow death and suffering back into the world and for people to be divided on beliefs?”

“Your servitude and suffering deserve to be rewarded with happiness, friends, and treasures rather than continued pain and sadness. We can give you these and more.”

“Cease this useless chattering. We both know that you’re using your emotions rather than your mind to think. The truth is that love requires conflict and suffering so that true peace may be obtained.” Using my black mist, I use it to conflict with the golden fog.

The source of the golden mist walks out of it with the usual smug expression on his face. “Don’t you miss the life we lived not too long ago or did you hate it so much that you had to destroy it?”

“Honestly, I miss it every day of my life, but if getting rid of it was the right thing, then I’m fine with living with that decision.”

“Right, wrong, who cares about either when everyone gets to live a happy life where no one suffers or dies? What’s so wrong about people wanting to live their truth and believe in what they want to think is true? Why would you want to destroy this paradise that we’ve been living in for years?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do. Whether you admit it or not, you believe there is a right and wrong thing to do at this moment and that there’s more to life than being happy forever.”

“What I care about is putting the world back to the way it was so it isn’t in ruins and constant conflict like it is now. If I have anything to thank you for, it’s showing me the world the Light saved us from because the world under the Sufferer is a living nightmare.”

“The true nature of life is that it’s a horror story, but also a love story, and love is shown most by one person suffering for another’s sake. You may not like it, but that’s the reality of it.” My black mist pushes Mikheil’s golden fog and blows him away from the fight.

Behind me, I see that the only people who are still fighting are Johnny, Osiris, the other two traitors, and a group of assassins. The half-dog, half-bull man commands his group of assassins to fight those who are under Johnny’s control. “It makes sense that a hateful god would allow someone like you to manipulate people to make them hate others. I’ve known that you’ve always hated me and my friends. It’s why this betrayal was inevitable.”

“Adler was right. You are full of yourself if you think I hate you. I’ve indeed been tempted to because I knew that you were never fully on our side and would betray us, but I never gave in to it. Instead, I’ve hated your beliefs and actions, and I didn’t hate those things because they weren’t things that I believe, but because they turned you and yours against me. I wanted to care for you people.” The assassins under Johnny’s control defeat those of his opponents and kill him. “It’s a shame that we’ll never be friends now.”

Turning my attention to Osiris, I see him surrounded by ashes and fighting the man with crying eyes who is dodging his attacks and not trying to fight back. “Friends against friends. What could be more tragic than this?”

Osiris finally manages to land a blow on the slippery man and cuts his head off, killing him and burning his body to ashes. “That you let the weight of tragedy drag you down. Now, you’ll never know what life beyond it is.”

“Good work you two.”

“Sure, but the king and the other two traitors escaped.”

“Should we chase after them?”

“No, let’s just gather the supplies we collected and head back to base. I’m sure they’ll come to us next time.” The brothers are okay with my decision and we do as I say along with the converted assassins who lend a band in bringing back the food and water.

“You guys sure brought more than what we needed.”

“Yeah, what happened out there?” I tell Bryce and Kami the entire story of what happened as we make dinner for everyone.

“Hmm. So our allies betrayed us then and you had another battle with the king. Well, at least you beat them and converted some new friends to our side.”

“I call it a resounding success. You all did well out there.”

“I know, but still. Mikheil must be getting pretty desperate to kill us since he keeps personally taking part in fights. He even influenced my dreams and showed up in this very church last night.”

“That is concerning, but remember, nothing can happen to us that the Sufferer doesn’t allow or will for us, and since the king hasn’t been able to do much to us, I say we should rest easy while we still can.”

“You should know that better than anyone, especially with the Sufferer wrapped around your neck.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for the reminder.” I kiss the head of the Sufferer and then eat dinner with my new friends. Looking around at the table, it almost feels like being at my old house when there was a big family and friends get-together. The sight and sounds of people talking and enjoying each other’s company give me hope that the future won’t be one filled with constant conflict and will one day be truly peaceful under its rightful ruler.

Quelled by Pain: Chapter 1 - The Final Lap (Text Only)

Chapter 1 – The Final Lap

I’ve walked for another month, chasing after my older brother, Mikheil, and the false god of this world called the Light. My time of wandering has cooled my anger and despair over everything that’s happened over the one-hundred and sixteen years of my life. The first stretch of it seems like nothing more than a far-off dream while the past few months have felt like an entire lifetime.

The life I worked to build for so many years was thrown away in no time at all, the friends and family I had for those years are damned, and the new friends I made are all dead, well, except for one, the Sufferer who has been hanging around my neck in the form of a snake ever since one of the last statues of His was completely destroyed.

“It is all in the past,” the Sufferer says. “The future is ahead as well as your redemption and the of the world. Your brother is attacking your new group of friends who will be your key in defeating him. Do not worry about their lives because they will survive your battles with him if you lead and treat them correctly.”

I kiss the head of the Sufferer and then say, “Lead me to do so in everything I do, say, and think, Lord.” My ability to sense souls has heightened over this past month, so I need minimum straight direction from the Sufferer to find my new friends. It also helps that I hear gunfire in the distance as I get closer to their location.

When I arrive at the location of the action, I find a small run-down church with broken metal barriers for windows being fired upon by at least thirty guards with my brother behind them. “Hey! Pick on someone who can actually fight you!”

As Mikheil turns around, I see that most of his body has been combined with the Light, and the only part of him that remains his own is half his face. “Ah, little brother. I thought I’d eventually see you again since it took you a month last time to track me down. I took inspiration from the last time I saw you and combined myself with the Light to embrace his power and wisdom fully. I also see that your hair has grown way long and is becoming white at its end. I’m ashamed to say that my hair suffers much similarly.”

“I don’t need my powers to see that the Light has almost completely overtaken and corrupted you.” Even as I talk, I use my powers to look into my brother’s soul to see if there’s anything in him that’s worth saving, and sure enough, a small light of the Sufferer’s original design still shining within him.

“It’s funny how you talk about corruption when it’s you and your friends who worship the Sufferer that brought death, suffering, and conflict back to the world. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be getting older at a rapid rate, and at this rate, who knows how much longer people our age have to live. The world may have only children under one hundred to rule it and they’ll have no idea what they’re doing and destroy each other and the world.”

I start to transform, already knowing that all this talking and arguing will do nothing. “I trust the Sufferer will save us.”

“Ha! As if that will do you any good. The world is already divided between those on my side, yours, and other miscellaneous groups who are more on my side than yours. Here’s some ancient information that the Sufferer probably hasn’t told you. When he was on earth, he befriended a man who would betray him and lead to his death. In fact, pretty much everyone under him betrays him, even those he trusts to do the most important jobs like raising families and leading his Church. His Church was even the first to fall to the Light. I don’t even need to know you to know that you’ve betrayed him more than once. Both of these facts are why I know that I’ll win in the end, and not just because of your Church’s extensive and recent history of trying to take the world from the Light. Give up and I may give you a swift death or maybe even rethink the death warrant I have out for you.”

Fully transformed, I say, “The Sufferer already killed the sinful man I once was. You can’t do anything to me that He doesn’t will or allow, and because of that, I am at peace with whatever happens and know that He will win in the end.” A black mist that feels like shards of glass flowing through my skin comes out of my hands and envelops Mikheil and his guards. In the mist, the Sufferer talks to everyone within their soul and tries to get them to repent. To my surprise, more people than I expect repent and fewer than usual are damned. There seem to be more doubts about the Light’s ability to retake the world among his soldiers than I thought, which is always a relief and one of, if not the greatest joys for the Sufferer.

All of Mikheil’s forces fall or turn to my side while the Sufferer turns His attention to him and tries to get him to repent as well. Even though I can’t exactly tell what is happening, I see my brother desperately trying to hold the confident smile that he always tries to have as his face twitches. “You win this round, little brother, but don’t you worry. I’ll be back before you know it.” Mikheil disappears in a flash of light that shoots toward a nearby suburban town. With the threat gone, I transform back to my normal self, tell those who repented to come with me and enter the church.

The place seems empty as if the people here left through a secret exit, and yet, I still feel their presence. “Hello! I know you’re here and I’m here to help. Look, the Sufferer even sits on my shoulders as a snake.” Four people slowly peek out their heads and then look at me. “My name is Adler, a fellow worshipper of the Sufferer like you and these people are the same.”

A man with red and white eyes, a dark pink hoodie, black pants, and black boots. Steps forward to me first while spinning his knife in one hand and keeping his other hand in his hoodie’s pocket. “Fellow worshipper, huh? You got rid of all those guards and the king of the world by yourself? How did you do it?”

“With the blessing of the Sufferer, of course. My blessing is that of Necessary Suffering, see?” I say while praying and allowing my stigmata to show.

A man who is well-dressed in a gold and purple dress shirt, pants, tie, and shoes steps up to me next. “Ah, a man who is blessed by stigmata and Necessary Suffering, a rare sight indeed. That makes you the defacto leader of our little group then since you’re both spiritually and physically close to the Sufferer, doesn’t it? My name is Bryce by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Adler. Thank you so much for your help.”

“A pleasure it is. I’m Osiris and the brother of Johnny. I’m sorry he didn’t say his name earlier.” Osiris is a big muscular guy with a simple brown shirt, dark brown pants, and boots with what looks like body armor underneath it all.

“He would’ve heard it sooner or later.”

“And I’m Kami, the now ex-leader of the group. You can all relax in the church now that the threat is gone. Make yourselves at home, especially you, Adler. Come sit with us.” I sit with Kami and the three others while the repentants walk around the church and talk among themselves. Kami deeply stares into my eyes with her black eyes that seem to have recently run with tears. The strange feeling she gives off isn’t helped by the long black dress she wears with leather long boots and red belts that she wears all over her body. “Yes, I can see you are truly loyal to the Sufferer while also having a soft spot for your brother who is not only your last remaining family member but also the king of the world with the Light.”

“Does that make him a liability?”

“No, not at all. As I said, he’s truly loyal to the Sufferer. His connection to his brother just makes him a more interesting person.”

“I’m relieved to hear confirmation that my heart totally belongs to the Suffer. Would you mind telling or showing me what your Necessary form is and what you are blessed with?”

“Sure thing, boss. I am blessed with Necessary Sacrifice and can allow myself to embrace the pain others feel to heal them and help answer prayers such as turning the tide of a battle or finding answers we seek.”

“I am blessed with Necessary Destruction. I turn into a knight and I think it’s obvious what I can do.”

“Unlike my brother, I am not so basic and straightforward. My blessing is that of Necessary Hatred and I can make people love what they cherish even more, resulting in them hating anything that opposes it to the same higher degree. That is the nature of hatred, after all.”

“Now, now. Don’t demean your brother, Johnny. A basic, tried and true knight is more useful than you think. Also, you can put your weapons away. It’s rude to have them out like this in the company of a new friend.”

Johnny puts the knife in its holster on his chest, pulls a gun out from his hoodie pocket, and puts it in its holster on his side. “Fine. I’ve also looked into Adler’s heart and confirmed that his heart belongs to the Sufferer.”

“Always the man to double-check everything. Anyways, my blessing is that of Necessary Submission. I can see what truth, falsehoods, and people your heart and mind are dedicated to and can sway that dedication in any direction I like. So, what do you think, Adler? Are we good enough for you?”

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t be.”

“That’s good because I see an old loyalty in your heart for the other groups of friends you’ve made including a place for your first love. You’re judging us based on your bond to them.”

“I’m trying not to think of them anymore other than our good times. I tragically lost them but know that they’re all in Heaven at least.”

“The love within you for them is still a fire that pushes you forward. I apologize for not immediately seeing it sooner since you’re keeping it deep within you. You shouldn’t be burying such a love and should allow that fire for them to blossom into action against the king of the world.”

“Johnny, you know that’s not a good idea. Just look outside to see the results of you doing that.”

“Those people got what they deserved. Some innocents were harmed along the way, but that is the nature of the war we fight.”

“I know what it’s like to have your anger and hatred get the best of you. It’s why my last group of friends died. I was responsible for their deaths because I allowed myself to lose control.”

“Johnny, your hatred for evil and injustice is virtuous, but you need to keep it under control so you don’t unnecessarily hurt the people you love. Osiris, our mission does bring necessary ruin to the world so it can be renewed. As a man blessed with Necessary Destruction, I’m sure you know that better than anyone else here.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry, leader.”

“Don’t worry about it. I understand your love for your brother and want to save him from his destruction at his own hands. We both share that goal. Speaking about helping each other, we should help the new converts understand the Sufferer before deciding what we should do next. Agreed?” The group agrees, especially Johnny who wants to make sure there is hardly any trace of love for the Light in the hearts of the repentants. Bryce and Osiris go with him to make sure he treats them fairly and doesn’t act too harshly.

Kami stops by me, puts her hand on my shoulder, and then says, “You’re a natural-born leader, it seems.”

“Thank you, but I’m better at following orders and allowing people to make the most of their strengths than commanding and inspiring people.”

“Don’t undersell yourself. The Sufferer chose you to be blessed with Necessary Suffering for a reason. Don’t Him down.”

“I won’t. I promise” Looking around at the friends around me and the newly repentant gives me hope that our final victory is within reach. Lord, please make it happen for your glory and yours alone, and let me be your instrument in obtaining it.