Chapter 5 – Reluctant Lover
A man named Zachary has been
wandering from place to place on a mission from God to preach repentance and belief
in God. For the most part, he’s been shunned by everyone he’s visited with
few people listening to him and even fewer doing as he says. Regardless of the
outcome, Zachary hardly stays in one place for too long before he is commanded to
go somewhere else.
“Why must I continue?” Zachary asks
in between destinations.
He receives no answer. Instead, he
comes across a family in need that requires food and water. Since he has
these things with him, Zachary gives what he has to the family, but now has
nothing to eat and drink himself.
“Is it possible for me to rest?”
Again, no answer. Zachary comes
across a farm in need of help and is fed and taken care of for a time until
more help comes. Now with more help than he can pay, the owner has to fire
someone so that the others may be properly paid. Not wanting the others to go without
a job, Zachary volunteers, leaves with a pack full of food and bottled water and resumes his aimless journey.
“Is it possible that there’s
someone else out there who cares for me?”
No answer comes like usual. The
next town that Zachary comes across seems to share the same faith that he does,
but theirs is incomplete and infected with falsehoods and half-truths. He tries
to teach them the whole truth to the best of his ability. Despite this, they
reject his every claim and kick him out of town.
“Why should I bother asking?”
“Did you need something, my son?” a
voice says during the stary night. “If you do, you know that everything I have
is yours.”
“Why haven’t you been answering my
prayers? Have I been suffering for nothing?”
“I’ve been answering your prayers
in the silence that I know you can hear Me in and you’ve responded. Your suffering
is not for nothing as you bring change and plant seeds of future change wherever
you go.”
“My efforts have done precious
little and my questions have only given me more questions. What of the evil in
the world? Why let it continue at the large scale that it is now? I know that I’m
a sinner like the rest, but some are willfully sinful and ignorant
and it seems like nothing will change them.”
“While they still live there is a
chance they may repent. My will can still be done despite the evil that rules
this world and if the wicked need to meet an early death, then it will happen
when I decide at the right time.”
“And despite Your goodness and divine
plan, evil continues to dominate and make it seem like You don’t care for
anyone. When will this hopeless situation end? Can more than a drop of Your
mercy fall to the earth?”
“You’ve seen my mercy and the impossible
happen when I let the wicked continue to live despite their deeds and unrepentance.
This is a greater miracle than you can imagine.”
“It’s truly greater than I can
imagine. Allow me some glimpse into it to keep me going as You did when You
started me on my journey as a preacher. You showed me that I was nothing without
You and that I wasn’t truly myself without Your guidance and knowledge of Your
laws. I’ve asked for more guidance and still do to this day, especially when I continuously
fall into sin and do not know why. Answer me as to why You let me fall repeatedly
and not be completely who I’m meant to be.”
“You are who you need to be right
now. These failures of yours are trials to keep you on that path.”
“One more question, if I may ask. I
know that my words have been filled with the venom of anger, unappreciation,
tiredness, and impatience. The trials that You have put me through wound me to
my soul and the relief You have given is like a drop of water on raging flames.
Would it be possible to give me what I need to continue on according to Your
will?”
“What you need is on its way here,
but knowing what you really mean, I will tell you this. Do not forget that the
joys of this life are passing. Even those who live comfortably and think they
have everything they need, are still unhappy and half-full and constantly want
new things because they do not have Me, which the soul constantly longs for to
be completely happy. I will say again that everything I have is yours including
Myself. I will be with you and will continue to help you bear your sufferings
until the end of your days when you will finally receive your due reward. Remember
that love involves suffering and that I have suffered for you. Continue on with
your head held high with this knowledge. You are on the right path.”
Zachary waits to hear more and
doesn’t until he hears someone walking toward him. This person turns out to be
a priest to whom he knows he must confess his sins. It’s at this time he
realizes or rather remembers that the love of God is a prize without match. He continues
on his lifelong journey, preaching, falling, repenting, converting, suffering,
and loving much for the sake of God and others. At the end of his life, he dies
on the route to his next destination in the dirt like a man without a home.
When Zachary is brought to Heaven
and his sins are presented, the blood and suffering that he went through for
God covers the list of his sins and he is immediately brought to Heaven. There,
he doesn’t see castles made of priceless gems or a kingdom talked about in
fairytales. Instead, he sees the face of God and is completely immersed in His presence,
and he is satisfied and happier than anyone living on earth can imagine and can
only have the faintest tastes of but can have nonetheless if they live as
Zachary has who had one goal in mind; to love God with his whole heart, mind,
and being.
The End
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