This blog is where I post everything I have including; free short stories, free book samples, song/poem attempts, links to my work, and more! I'll even post about the interesting dreams I've had, manga, comics, video games, anime, and the like which you can find on here. Read to your heart's content and I hope you enjoy!
Friday, June 30, 2023
My latest paperback collection is out today!
Monday, June 26, 2023
My 240th book is out today!
The Betrayed, His Worshippers, and Other Logical Contradictions: Chapter 5 – Reluctant Lover
Chapter 5 – Reluctant Lover
A man named Zachary has been
wandering from place to place on a mission from God to preach repentance and belief
in God. For the most part, he’s been shunned by everyone he’s visited with
few people listening to him and even fewer doing as he says. Regardless of the
outcome, Zachary hardly stays in one place for too long before he is commanded to
go somewhere else.
“Why must I continue?” Zachary asks
in between destinations.
He receives no answer. Instead, he
comes across a family in need that requires food and water. Since he has
these things with him, Zachary gives what he has to the family, but now has
nothing to eat and drink himself.
“Is it possible for me to rest?”
Again, no answer. Zachary comes
across a farm in need of help and is fed and taken care of for a time until
more help comes. Now with more help than he can pay, the owner has to fire
someone so that the others may be properly paid. Not wanting the others to go without
a job, Zachary volunteers, leaves with a pack full of food and bottled water and resumes his aimless journey.
“Is it possible that there’s
someone else out there who cares for me?”
No answer comes like usual. The
next town that Zachary comes across seems to share the same faith that he does,
but theirs is incomplete and infected with falsehoods and half-truths. He tries
to teach them the whole truth to the best of his ability. Despite this, they
reject his every claim and kick him out of town.
“Why should I bother asking?”
“Did you need something, my son?” a
voice says during the stary night. “If you do, you know that everything I have
is yours.”
“Why haven’t you been answering my
prayers? Have I been suffering for nothing?”
“I’ve been answering your prayers
in the silence that I know you can hear Me in and you’ve responded. Your suffering
is not for nothing as you bring change and plant seeds of future change wherever
you go.”
“My efforts have done precious
little and my questions have only given me more questions. What of the evil in
the world? Why let it continue at the large scale that it is now? I know that I’m
a sinner like the rest, but some are willfully sinful and ignorant
and it seems like nothing will change them.”
“While they still live there is a
chance they may repent. My will can still be done despite the evil that rules
this world and if the wicked need to meet an early death, then it will happen
when I decide at the right time.”
“And despite Your goodness and divine
plan, evil continues to dominate and make it seem like You don’t care for
anyone. When will this hopeless situation end? Can more than a drop of Your
mercy fall to the earth?”
“You’ve seen my mercy and the impossible
happen when I let the wicked continue to live despite their deeds and unrepentance.
This is a greater miracle than you can imagine.”
“It’s truly greater than I can
imagine. Allow me some glimpse into it to keep me going as You did when You
started me on my journey as a preacher. You showed me that I was nothing without
You and that I wasn’t truly myself without Your guidance and knowledge of Your
laws. I’ve asked for more guidance and still do to this day, especially when I continuously
fall into sin and do not know why. Answer me as to why You let me fall repeatedly
and not be completely who I’m meant to be.”
“You are who you need to be right
now. These failures of yours are trials to keep you on that path.”
“One more question, if I may ask. I
know that my words have been filled with the venom of anger, unappreciation,
tiredness, and impatience. The trials that You have put me through wound me to
my soul and the relief You have given is like a drop of water on raging flames.
Would it be possible to give me what I need to continue on according to Your
will?”
“What you need is on its way here,
but knowing what you really mean, I will tell you this. Do not forget that the
joys of this life are passing. Even those who live comfortably and think they
have everything they need, are still unhappy and half-full and constantly want
new things because they do not have Me, which the soul constantly longs for to
be completely happy. I will say again that everything I have is yours including
Myself. I will be with you and will continue to help you bear your sufferings
until the end of your days when you will finally receive your due reward. Remember
that love involves suffering and that I have suffered for you. Continue on with
your head held high with this knowledge. You are on the right path.”
Zachary waits to hear more and
doesn’t until he hears someone walking toward him. This person turns out to be
a priest to whom he knows he must confess his sins. It’s at this time he
realizes or rather remembers that the love of God is a prize without match. He continues
on his lifelong journey, preaching, falling, repenting, converting, suffering,
and loving much for the sake of God and others. At the end of his life, he dies
on the route to his next destination in the dirt like a man without a home.
When Zachary is brought to Heaven
and his sins are presented, the blood and suffering that he went through for
God covers the list of his sins and he is immediately brought to Heaven. There,
he doesn’t see castles made of priceless gems or a kingdom talked about in
fairytales. Instead, he sees the face of God and is completely immersed in His presence,
and he is satisfied and happier than anyone living on earth can imagine and can
only have the faintest tastes of but can have nonetheless if they live as
Zachary has who had one goal in mind; to love God with his whole heart, mind,
and being.
The End
Sunday, June 25, 2023
The Betrayed, His Worshippers, and Other Logical Contradictions: Chapter 4 – Freeing Chains, Sweet Dogma
Chapter 4 – Freeing Chains,
Sweet Dogma
Stuck in her cell with only her
thoughts to accompany her, Quem paces around the room to keep herself active
and from dying of boredom. She’s been given books and visited by many priests
and family to get her to change, however, she’s ignored the books and hasn’t
been listening to anyone who has visited her. While doing community service,
she’s done more harm than good and has tried to escape on multiple occasions.
Currently, she is considered a lost cause and is set to live the rest of her
life in prison unless something changes.
“How dare they do this to me. I don’t
deserve this,” Quem says to herself every single day ever since the day she was
put in prison.
“Who are you to decide what you
deserve?” a voice says.
This voice sounds as if they are
coming directly from the walls, floor, and ceiling around her.
“Who are you to question me? Who
are you? Show yourself, coward!”
Half a person comes out of a wall
who looks almost exactly like Quem except this one is decorated in jewelry and
crowned with gold.
“I said it! I decide what I deserve.”
“Who and what are you? You aren’t
me.”
“You’re right. I’m not because I wouldn’t
be stuck in a cell. Regis wouldn’t have denied my marriage proposal. I would’ve
been like a queen in a castle with him rather than a slave tending to horses
and a farm. I should’ve gotten support for every action that I’ve done after
doing so much work for so little.”
“But that’s not what happened.”
“Because of that, I stole and even
killed to get what I felt I deserve, what I know I deserve! Looks where that’s
put me! There’s no such thing as justice in this world if I can’t get what I know
is mine!”
“There is justice,” a new voice
says from a different wall.
The version of Quem with a crown goes
limb as if her soul was instantly taken out of her. Another version of Quem
comes out of a different wall. This one is dressed in black and wears a black
veil.
“Justice put me in this cell for my
sins. I’ve done so many crimes that I should’ve never been born. I
should’ve never hurt Regis the way I did. God have mercy on me for having murdered
and stolen from people I was jealous of!
I should just end it all now and bang my head against the wall until I die!”
“No, I can’t!”
“Why not? I’m nothing but trouble
to everyone I meet. How could I ever atone for what I’ve done? I’ll always be
this way even if I try to change. What’s the point of even living? I’ll never
be happy. I’ll never live the way I want to live. I’ll never be the person I want
to be!”
“Who cares about that?!” another
voice says from a different wall.
Again, the other version of Quem goes
limb and another one comes out of the wall, however, this one is more disturbing
in that this version of her has skin that’s completely red with veins popping
out of it, which are hardly hidden by her dress made out of crimson and black chains
that appear to be on fire. Horns adorn her head and her eyes are orange and
yellow.
“Who cares about being right or
wrong? I only care about doing what I want no matter the cost or what other
people think. What’s the point in living life if you don’t live it how you want
to?”
“I tried to live how I wanted
to and it put me here!”
“So what? If one thing doesn’t work,
redefine yourself. If that doesn’t work, do something else. I’ve never been
consistent in life. No one ever is. I should run away the next chance I get and
if they kill me while I try, then I died fighting for my due freedom. If not,
then lucky me.”
“I don’t know if I should do that.”
“Why not? Are you still bothered by
what’s right and wrong? Who cares about morals? They’re just used by those
above us to make us act like they want or ‘in the best interests of humanity’
whatever that means. Do what you want and justify yourself by any means. Good
and evil are all a matter of perspective after all.”
“I don’t know what I should do.”
“Do what you want!” all three
versions of her say before arguing among themselves.
Between the three versions of
herself, Quem hears three arguments; that she’s pathetic and should just end
herself, that she does nothing wrong, and that she can do no wrong. The arguing
and contradictions within herself tear her mind apart. Eventually, she falls to
her knees, begs for silence, and asks someone to help her decide what to do. A few seconds of chaos pass until a deafening silence suddenly muffles
the noise in the cell.
“I can help you discover yourself,”
a new voice says that’s unlike Quem’s.
“Who are you and how can you help
me? How do you know me?” Quem asks.
“I am the one who made your heart.
I am the only one who knows you better than you know yourself.”
“What a preposterous claim. How can
you know me better than I know myself?”
“Have you seen all the versions of
yourself recently and heard what they said?”
“I see your point. So, how can you
help me?”
“Give Me your trust and You’ll see.”
Quem reaches out to a hand in that
she sees in the dark corner of her cell. Once she touches the hand, she is
blinded by a light that wakes her up and makes her realize that she’s been
looking in a mirror the entire time. Happy to see herself, she genuinely laughs
and smiles for the first time in a while and then starts praying and reading as
the voice of God tells her. Over the next few days, she learns who she is,
starts praying, and sings God’s praises to an infectious degree that the
other prisoners sing with her. Unsure of what’s happening, the guards go to the
source of the singing after questioning the prisoners and are surprised to find
that it’s Quem.
At first, they are unsure if she is
the same person who was put in the cell because of her smile and what she says
about God. This is enough to convince a couple of the guards that they are
looking at a completely different woman but they can’t explain what happened to
the original Quem. After she talks to the guards, priests, and her parents over
several days, they are convinced she’s repented and completely changed. Over three years, she’s paid her price for her crimes through
community service and is now a nun. Quem is now her community’s example of what
repentance and faith in God can do to a person and is brought out to share her
experience and story at many events. Through her work, Quem converts many
people to change and becomes an inspiring example to follow to even the most
religious and faithful. During one of the events, she is questioned about how
exactly she changed and what is the winning formula to do to follow her example.
“That’s both a simple and complex
answer,” Quem admits. “When I was lost in my sin, my mind and priorities were
constantly changing. I didn’t know what to do and just did the first thing that
came to my mind that I thought made sense. It was a horrible cage to live in
and I was a tyrant whose rules could change at a moment’s notice. Then, when I let
God direct me and become the ruler of my life, I became free. It may sound like a
contradiction, but it’s true that we only become free when we constrain
ourselves with God’s truth since He is always true. He is the Lord and Creator
of my heart and knows what I want even when I don’t know what I want. His rules
act as a guide to doing what is right and to act as the person I am truly meant
to be. Because of that, my answer is this. The winning formula is simply to let
God take control with no reservations or holding back anything. It’s not always
clear when a major change will happen or if it is currently happening, but just
know that God is always with us and always wants the best for us. Even if we
may disagree with Him and fight against Him at every turn, He will continue to
try to save us from ourselves until the last moments of our lives.”
Wednesday, June 21, 2023
The Betrayed, His Worshippers, and Other Logical Contradictions: Chapter 3 – Blind Assurance
Chapter 3 – Blind Assurance
After he is judged as guilty, Xerxes
is taken out in chains and immediately brought before the massive golden
calf to be thrown in and cooked alive to be used as food and sacrifice to the
heathen city, however, he doesn’t burn or feel the intense heat at all once
thrown in. In fact, his chains burn off and an exit for him has melted away as
the rest of the city burns instead. This event is one of the many seemingly
unnatural events that have taken place around Xerxes as he travels a war-stricken land. With God as his guide, he has been trying to preach the good news
of mercy and salvation to the people that God has led him to.
“Where will I go next? If I may
suggest, may I rest somewhere, eat, and drink? I’m tired and famished,” Xerxes
says.
“That’s what you’re going to do next.
Go to the nearby forest and you’ll find plenty to fill yourself with and a
place to rest your head,” a voice coming from his shadow says.
“The nearby forest tried to kill me
the last time I passed through it and only managed to get through it because larger
predators were coming after the smaller ones that were coming after me.”
“And I will protect you again as you
go through it. Have I not done enough to show you that you have My favor?”
Looking back at the burning city,
Xerxes finds it hard to believe that he’s made it through so many events that
most would consider to be a dream or a fantasy tale. He recalls how his
journey started. Back in his hometown, he was about to be justly executed for
his crimes of murder and theft, but the axe that is used broke when it hit his
neck. A voice rang out from his shadow stating that he had won the favor of the
Lord when he repented and did penance in prison and that he was needed to
preach His Gospel. The chains holding Xerxes down were then seemingly cut by
the breeze that blew through the town and the voice told everyone that Xerxes
was allowed to leave. Those who disagreed and tried to stop him were cut by the
breeze as if there were tiny invisible blades in the air.
“The devil is defending this man! A
soul like his cannot be redeemed. His sins are too great,” an influential
priest in the town said.
Despite the many soldiers with
their nearly impenetrable armor who tried to get Xerxes, no one was able to. Those
who persisted had their armor cut as if it were paper and those who persisted
even further to the point of reaching him were turned into a fine red mist instantly. The soldiers, villagers, and priests ran away at the sight of this,
which allowed Xerxes to leave and go through the events that led him to where
he is now. After remembering everything done for him, Xerxes continues on and
goes into the forest. Here, he finds much of what he expects such as the dead
bodies of prey some of which are picked clean of flesh. He also feels the eyes
of something watching him from a distance and when he turns to look, a rustling
in the trees and bushes can be heard as if whatever is looking at him doesn’t
want to be seen.
Hurrying along, Xerxes manages to
find a river with fruits growing on trees and vegetation around it. He goes to
drink the water and has his fill of fruits until a bear comes out of the rustling
bushes. The bear approaches him while growling and doesn’t seem pleased to see
him as if this area is his. If this isn’t enough, a leopard descends from the
trees. At this point, Xerxes gives up any escape plan he has and hopes
to God that this is part of His plan. This does look like the fact as a group
of hunters comes by and recognizes Xerxes.
“That’s the man who’s said to be the
devil’s pawn! Let’s claim the bounty on his head,” one of the hunters says.
“What about those animals he has
under his control?”
“We can use them to make new coats.”
The hunters charge at him and are
then swiftly killed by the bear and leopard. Both animals look at Xerxes as if
waiting for his command.
“Are…you two friendly?” Xerxes says
while carefully approaching them with his hands up.
He then slowly pets the bear and
then the leopard. They seem to enjoy being petted and rubbing up next to him. Together
with the animals as his protectors, Xerxes travels the forest until it gets
dark out. Once he finds a cave to settle in, the bear acts as Xerxes’ pillow
while the leopard acts as a sort of blanket to keep him warm. The three sleep
together in comfort until the next morning. Eventually, Xerxes reaches the end
of the forest where a large river separates the two regions. Here, the bear and
leopard leave Xerxes and head back into the forest.
“Hey, where are you two going?”
Xerxes asks the animals.
“They are going back to their home. On the other hand, you must travel across this lake and make it to the other
side,” the voice in his shadow asks.
“Okay. Is there a boat nearby that
I can take?”
“There isn’t and there isn’t time
to waste to build or find one. You must walk across the water.”
Before voicing his feelings of
doubt, Xerxes remembers what just happened and decides to do what God says. When
approaching the river, he sees that the waters are turbulent because of an
incoming storm. Still, he takes the step of faith onto the water and is surprised
that he can walk on it as if it were a solid surface. At first, he
wobbles with the waves on the river until he steadies himself, which is when
the water around him stabilizes and flattens to make it easier for him to walk on.
Given confidence by this, Xerxes walks forward and makes his way across the
lake.
While walking, the lake’s waves
begin to become turbulent as the storm grows closer. The waves start to become
like those of the raging waves on the ocean and Xerxes' doubts begin to creep
back into his mind. It doesn’t help that when he looks down, he sees that the
lake is deeper than it looks with what looks to be large sea monsters beneath it.
Seeing and feeling the rage of the waters is enough to make him fear for his
life. This makes him lose hope that he’ll make it across the lake. As he looks
around the closest land, the waters beneath him begin to swallow him to their
depths as if the waters were a giant mouth.
“You must trust Me otherwise you’ll
drown,” the same familiar voice says to him.
“I couldn’t walk on water. I can’t even
swim well!” Xerxes thinks in his mind.
“Your sin is acting like a weight around
your ankle dragging you down. You must stop thinking about yourself and trust Me.”
Xerxes begins to slowly sink to the
bottom of the icy cold river. The freezing temperatures and his useless attempt
at swimming upwards make him despair more and more the further down he goes.
While looking at seemingly bottomless depths, he sees a creature that can be
likened to the Leviathan of legend because of its massive size which makes it
seem like most of its body can comprise most of the limitless depths. It has
many dark gold lights on the surface of its body that give off a weird warmth.
It swims towards Xerxes with its mouth wide open and the warmth of its lights
growing warming as if it were death welcoming him in its grasp. As it gets
closer, Xerxes can make the faint outline of what seems to be ships and the
bodies of people inside its skin.
Not wanting to die yet, Xerxes continues
to struggle upward to no avail. On the surface of the water, he sees what looks
to be a human walking on the water.
This person reaches down and says, “This
is it. You must trust that I will grab you and pull you out of the water and of
danger.”
“I do, I do! Forgive me and help me
with my faithlessness,” Xerxes says.
The hand of this person somehow
manages to reach all the way down to where Xerxes is and pull him back above
the water before the Leviathan nearly gets him. Before Xerxes can get a good
look at who he presumes to be God, the person’s form shifts back into Xerxes’
shadow.
“Continue on and be quick,” the
voice in his shadow says.
Continuing on the water, the storm
still rages along with the waves on the river. Xerxes pushes on despite this
and the waves move aside as if pushed away by his presence. There is even
a large wave that threatens to crush him or at least send him back into the
river’s depths, however, he holds onto his trust in God and the wave splits in
half as if cut by a sword and the waters fall to the side. After what feels
like hours of walking, Xerxes finally makes it to dry land while the storm
begins to disappear. God then directs him to a hill overlooking a battle and
tells him to head to the camp of a certain faction. Xerxes is ready to go with
no questions asked because of what he just went through but is stopped after he
takes a few steps forward.
“Don’t go yet,” the voice in his shadow
says.
“You just told me to go, didn't You? What
changed?” Xerxes asks.
“The heart of the general who
lost his faith in Me because of the size and strength of the enemy he’s facing.
Let him face a humiliating defeat so that he is reminded of what he is without
Me.”
Knowing the effectiveness of this
course of action, Xerxes does as he is told and watches one army decimate the
other from the top of the hill. A few days pass during which Xerxes prays and
fasts after consulting God on how to speed up the process of saving people. He
does this for the good of the armies below him, the kingdoms they are fighting
for, and everyone else involved and affected by their war. On the fourth day,
God finally gives Xerxes permission to visit one of the sides during a battle. Many
of the soldiers in the battle wonder what Xerxes is doing there and how he can simply walk through the battle without being hit by a stray arrow or
caught up in the fight, however, they are unable to do anything about him since
they are so wrapped up in the fight.
When Xerxes does make it to the camp
he is directed to, he is immediately beaten, chained up as a prisoner, and put
in one of the tents. The general he is here for is told about him and immediately
drops what he is going and visits Xerxes.
“So, you’re the infamous man people
have been talking about,” the general says.
“Yes, I am here because God led me
here to talk to you so that you may win this fight,” Xerxes says.
The soldiers and the general laugh.
“Win? We are outnumbered, outmatched, and sent here to die for our home while they try to negotiate peace with
the savages on the other side.”
“Through God, all things are
possible. He is the author and master of all.”
“That is true, but-”
“But nothing.” Xerxes then tells stories
of his adventures and how he got here. “Your men know that I walked through
that chaotic battle outside without getting so much as a scratch on me. If you
don’t believe the stories told about me nor the stories I have, then believe
them.”
“What choice do I have? Alright,
tell me what the Lord wants me to do.”
“Tell him to fly a flag with the
symbol of a snake curled around a rod,” a voice says from Xerxes' shadow that only he hears.
After Xerxes relays this information,
everyone with him laughs until the general gets them to stop.
“I’ve heard stranger things such as
when a priest was able to absolve me of my sins and give me a simple penance
that paid for all of it. Let’s do as the man says. We’re dead anyways if it
doesn’t work.”
Agreeing with their general, the
army does what Xerxes suggests. During the next battle, the general’s army massively
wins and ends up taking the enemy camp and their enemies’ leaders hostage if
they aren’t killed. It is now a guarantee that the general’s kingdom will receive
a favorable peace deal from the other kingdom who promises to cease taking
advantage of them. The general and his soldiers try to get Xerxes to join them
for a party later that night, but the other soldiers report that Xerxes was
taken away by the wind as if carried by invisible angels since he was called by
God to go somewhere else for another purpose. Despite this sounding strange,
stranger things have happened today and faith in God has awakened because of it
in both armies that will spread into the world once news of what happened today
spreads.
Sunday, June 18, 2023
The Betrayed, His Worshippers, and Other Logical Contradictions: Chapter 2 – Evil’s Hour
Chapter 2 – Evil’s Hour
Today is just another day in the
busy life of Camille, a wealthy business owner. Times are tough as the world
gets more faithless and expensive to live in. Her business that makes and sells
clothes of all kinds, watches, and other accessories is still one of the
richest in the region, however, her profits still take a noticeable hit since people
can’t afford to buy as much. Because of this, Camille calls a meeting to make
some major changes. She includes people from management and those who work in retail
so she has an idea of what’s going on in all areas of her company from the top
to the bottom.
The meeting begins and ends faster
than everyone in the room expects primarily because most people agree with Camille’s
course of action. Employees will be the same as always so prices will go
down. This decision is made in the hopes that customers will buy more and when
they do, this money will cover their employees’ raises. Money is also being
given to churches, charities, allied organizations, and marketing so that their
public image is one of a strong company that continues to put its customers and
supporters first. A month passes and the company manages to survive, but their
competition is still a problem. Rival businesses countersignal Camille’s company
by giving money to secular organizations and conservative allies that push
against the traditionalists by wanting to keep the current trajectory of
society and the way it is.
“I’d rather not live in a world
where business, profit, and pleasure are all I live for while my sense of right
and wrong is secondary and bendable to my needs,” Camille argues to herself as
if talking to her opposition.
In her mind, Camille would do
anything to keep the world and her family and friends safe from the impending
changes of the future. There is no price high enough nor is there such a thing as spending too much energy trying to do what is right.
“Why, God, do You let this evil continue
to spread and take root in the minds of so many?” Camille prays. “It reaches
every corner of society. Even the children aren’t safe from it.”
While watching and managing her
business in the store, a thief tries stealing some clothes and jewelry. Her store’s
guards go after the thief who has backup waiting for them outside. Despite
having backup, Camille’s guards are able to beat up the thieves and take the
merchandise back to the store, however, the cops catch what is happening and
convict both the guards and the thieves. It’s decided in court that the guards
used excessive force on thieves since the thieves were nearly beaten to death. As
a result, the guards have to serve time in jail and Camille’s company has to
pay the medical bills of the thieves plus an additional expensive fine. The
news portrays this situation as Camille’s company beating up desperate individuals
and the court’s decision as the right one. Unfortunately, there is nothing
Camille can do to get out of this, and has to grit her teeth and deal with it.
“Was I set up? Could this be part
of someone’s schemes to bring my company down?” Camille thinks to herself. “God,
why do You give such important positions of power to the worst of us? Why do You
let them write the law and convict and let go as they please?”
Retribution seemingly comes one day
when a nearby small business allied with Camille’s competition is stolen from.
The owner chases the thief down the street and as the thief passes Camille, the
owner begs Camille for help.
“I’m sorry. The help I would
provide is too extreme according to the law. Catch him yourself or call the
cops,” Camille says.
The thief runs faster than the owner
and greatly increases the distance between them.
“Please, the cops won’t make it
here in time and that thief stole so much that I’ll be ruined if I don’t get it
back,” the owner pleads.
“That’s your problem, not mine,”
Camille says before walking back inside her store.
Afterward, the news reports the
closing of the small business. Camille is slandered slightly by them for not
helping the owner, but she shrugs it off and is glad that she has one less
business to worry about. In her mind, justice was finally served after such a
long time. Speaking of justice, Camillie wishes it would happen within her own
church. Priests and bishops preach the unity of religions as if they all worship
the same God in different and legitimate ways. This is done to get
more people to come to church and avoid being discriminated against, however,
fewer people come to church and care about the faith now that the clergy is
making it seem like the differences in religion don’t matter and that faith as
a whole doesn’t matter in turn.
Unlike the other matters, Camille
doesn’t have any influence in the church she can use to get these clergy
members out of their office. Even if she could, she knows that she’ll be
slandered even more by the media and called a hypocrite of her own faith. She
already is facing this criticism, but avoiding adding more to it is better than
actively accruing more. All she can do now is make her thoughts known to her
local priests, bishop, and fellow believers and pray and hope that the situation
will change.
“Please rescue people from their willful
ignorance, wants to be popular, and cowardice of oppression. If not, then bring
Your judgment upon them so that others know the rewards of lies, falsehood, and
evil. They hardly deserve the slightest shred of mercy anyways. They’re the
reason why good and evil mean nothing and why fewer people act in any kind of
moral or virtuous way in these current times,” Camille prays.
Stressed out by constantly thinking
about everything and what to do causes Camille to go to bed early tonight. While
trying to sleep, she feels a calming darkness overcome her. When she opens her
eyes, she sees this darkness begin to cover everything around her. She tries to
run away, but she can’t so she backs herself up against a wall and grabs a lamp
to defend herself with.
Feeling a presence in front of her,
she swings the lamp where she thinks this being is while saying, “Begone,
devil! You face a God-fearing woman!”
“I am the God you’ve been praying
to. I am here to answer your prayer of punishing the wicked,” the voice in the
dark says.
“Are you now? Why did You come to
me like this?”
“Because you told Me to punish the
wicked and I am here to punish you.”
“Me? What have I done?”
“Let me show you.”
A mirror appears in front of Camille
that first shows her mirror image and then shifts to show festering diseases in
her mouth, hands, chest, and head. A brown and dark green liquid comes out of
her diseased parts as it seems that the disease in her is spreading and festers
as if it has a mind of its own. Seeing this is enough to make her recoil in disgust
and scratch at herself as if trying to remove the disease.
“Why do I look like that?”
“Your hatred of your enemies and
actions have done this to you. You do not act out of love, but out of
self-interest just like those you hate.”
“How is that? Show me what I’m
doing wrong.”
The darkness shifts and reveals
that Camille is in a small house. She sees the owner of the small business she
saw that was stolen from. This house is a rundown wreck and the family in it is
a dirty and miserable one. Despite feeling like she is in the building and
smelling everything in it, no one notices Camille. In fact, they can
walk through her as if she’s a spirit.
“Can you stop moping around and get
a job or do you enjoy seeing your family starve to death?” the owner’s wife
asks.
“Who will hire me? The people who
gave me my business think I’m incompetent and untrustworthy for running my
business so poorly and being stolen from and their enemies hate me even more,”
the owner says.
“I don’t know just find something and
stop being so useless or I’m taking the kids and we’ll find someone else who
isn’t a sad waste of a man.”
“…okay.”
Now the owner seems even more broken
and walks into a room and closes the door. Seconds later a loud noise is heard
from the room.
“What are you doing now?!” the wife
yells before going into the room and discovering that her husband has hung himself.
Camille is slightly bothered by
this sight while the wife is in a panic and tells her kids to not see what is
happening. Darkness covers the scene as the muffled screams and crying of the
children are heard.
“If you had helped him that day he
was stolen from, this wouldn’t have happened. He would have begun to see you
not as an enemy, but as a friend and would have come to the faith as a result,”
the voice in the dark says.
“I…I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault
he killed himself. That was his decision!”
“Since you are in the business of
hating those who oppose you, then maybe you’ll hate these unrepentant sinners
as well.”
Again, the darkness transports
Camille to a room. This time it’s one belonging to Camille’s friends who are
her business partners. The room is finely decorated with religious paintings
and statues and has the best furniture money can buy. Everyone in the room
enjoys the feast made for them by their servants and is drunk on wine to the
point where they start getting up and dancing around the room, eventually
knocking down one of the statues of the Blessed Mother.
“Look what you did. You’re going straight
to Hell,” one of them jokes.
“Pfft. If I am, then so are you. I’ll
just confess it and donate some money as my penance,” another says.
“If you can do that, then so can I,”
a drunk says before breaking more statues, “I’ve been meaning to get rid of
these ugly things after Camille and those priests came by.”
“What if they come around again?”
“Then I’ll buy more. Buying these hardly
takes a lot out of my profits. Besides, even if they do ask about them, then I’ll
put on a sad face about being drunk, breaking them, and ask them for forgiveness
and they’ll shrug it off.”
“What a bunch of idiots! Why do we
even bother working with them?”
“Because without them, we wouldn’t
have all these nice things so that’s at least one thing I can genuinely thank
God for!”
The drunks continue to laugh and break
things as the darkness surrounds Camille again.
“I…didn’t know they were really
like this,” Camille admits.
“Did you? A sinner shows their true
nature in ways that are out of their control such as when you were uncharitable
to the poor man who hung himself,” the voice in the dark says.
“Then if I am such a horrible
person, end me here and now and give me my just reward!”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
Yet again, the darkness fades away
and transports Camille to a location. This time she is in front of a house in a
poor and dirty district of the city. She looks around and after reading the
street names and address number, she recognizes that she’s at the home of a
loyal and faithful worker.
“Not you too!” Camille says before
walking through the door as if it weren’t there.
Inside, Camille finds a well put together, but small house. One boy is praying, another is studying, and a third
is making dinner.
“Oh, thank God!” Camille says.
The boy that is praying coughs
before continuing to pray.
“Robin, can you stop praying and
get some rest? You’ll pray better if you do so,” his brother asks.
“Let me finish my daily prayers
first I’m almost done and I’m sure dad needs them,” Robin says.
“You need them more than dad. Have
you even been praying your sickness away?” the other brother who is studying
asks.
“I have, but if God wishes me to
continue being sick, then I’ll gladly accept it and offer it up for my sins and
the sins of others.”
“You better not offer it for that
tyrant of a boss that dad has. Camille is why we can’t afford
repairs to our house and enough to feed us. It feels like I have to fast every
other day.”
“She’s also the reason why dad has
a job and is able to give us things, so I thank God for her,” Robin says before
their dad, Oliver, walks in somewhat bloodied.
The boys are shocked to see their
dad in this condition, but he handwaves it away, and then says, “It’s fine.
You should see the other guy.”
“What happened?”
“Just some desperate guy wanting more
than the change I can offer him.”
“You shouldn’t give them anything.
You can’t afford it.”
“What did I teach you? You have to
give even when it hurts to.”
“You also taught us to stand up for
ourselves. Why didn’t you do that when Camille left your raise up to chance?”
“Because I trust her and it’d be
better to work at a place that isn’t going out of business.”
“It’s too rich and popular to do
that. I think-”
“I think we should continue praying
and being thankful for what we have,” Robin interjects.
“Thank you, Robin.”
“You’re both as useful as carpets.
Mom would be ashamed of you if she were still here. Robin isn’t too far behind
following in her footsteps if you don’t do anything soon,” the studying brother
says before going into his room.
As soon as Robin starts coughing
again, he comes out of his room, gives him his medicine, walks back in, and
doesn’t come back out until dinner is ready, a meager feast of a small chicken
and some fruit. Darkness covers the scene as Robin starts violently coughing
and his family tries to help him.
“That child’s sacrifice holds back My
great justice that thirsts for vengeance against the wicked such as yourself.
He will soon pass if not helped and nothing will save you or your business. You
deny your workers their due wages because you are afraid of losing business,”
the voice in the dark says.
“It’s like how Oliver says. I’d go
out of business and he’d be out of a job if it didn’t keep their wages the same.”
“I would’ve kept your business afloat
for his sake and the sake of the others who are faithful to Me, but seeing as how
you are still not moved to fully repent, I’ll have to help them find a better
employer.”
The darkness around Camille quickly
disappears as she sees her store burning in front of her.
“I understand now,” Camille says on
her knees, “Not only because of my store burning but because of what You’ve
shown me. I accept my punishment. Take whatever You want. Just spare those who
deserve better, especially Robin, Oliver, and his family.”
Camille’s store continues to burn for a few more seconds until they are put out by a sudden gust of wind and a
harsh rainstorm.
“I accept your confession as you
have made it from the heart with all honesty. Go and sin no more.”
Camille blinks and finds herself in
her room. She gets on her knees again to thank God before getting dressed and
going out to assess the damage done to her store and make some changes. Using
her own money, she pays for people to repair her store. Additionally, she makes
cuts to her management to fire those she knows are dishonest and cuts her
own and the salary of management to give the lower-positioned workers better
pay. After which, she sends letters out to her competition as olive branches to
apologize for any slander she’s said against them and asks if they would like
to collaborate for future projects. She receives letters a few letters back
from these people accepting her apology and expresses their interest in working
together much to her surprise.
To help the family of the owner who
killed himself, Camille pays for his house to be cleaned, gives them money and food,
and offers the wife a job, which she accepts. Once a
week of changes are made, she makes time to go out to Oliver’s and surprises
him with gifts and enough food to last them a month. While there, she sees Robin
and goes up to him. She kneels and holds his hands in hers.
“Thank you so much for your prayers,
Robin,” Camille says.
“Thank you so much for everything
you’ve done for my family, Ms. Camille,” the now-healthy Robin says. “If I may
ask, can you hear my dad out? He’s been meaning to ask you something important.”
“What would that be?” Camille says while
turning to Oliver.
“Hey, I said that was between us. I’m
not ready to ask her about that,” Oliver says.
“Just spit it out. You know I’ll
listen to you no matter what you say.”
“Okay…would you like to go out to
dinner sometime?”
“He wants you to marry him.”
“Robin!”
Oliver is now blushing as Robin is
laughing.
Stunned by this and elated at the
same time, Camille says, “Yes, I’d like to go out to dinner with you. You can
marry me afterward.”
“I uh…I’m honored. Thank you! I’ll
be sure to take you somewhere nice.”
“Make her pay for the dinner! She
has enough money,” one of Robin’s brothers says.
Camille and Oliver’s family laughs together
before they pray and eat dinner as one happy family. Even though her company
won’t do as well as it used to and the fear of going under will keep bothering Camille,
she decides to put her full faith in God for once and never make excuses for
actions again.
Thursday, June 15, 2023
The Betrayed, His Worshippers, and Other Logical Contradictions: Chapter 1 – Foolish Wisdom
Chapter 1 – Foolish Wisdom
Micah is one of the few God-fearing
men in his village and everyone knows him. He wears a cross necklace and works
at the village church as a groundskeeper. Sometimes, he’ll stop what he’s doing
to say a prayer to ask God for help even if he’s outside where everyone can see
him. People think he is foolish for clinging to a faith that doesn’t enrich him
nor is the popular belief. Even so, he does have admirers that leave him
alone and think that he is a good honest man who just wants to live a simple life
with simple beliefs.
“Please let them see that all my
hard work is worth it,” Micah prays.
Some people overhear his prayer and
are curious to see if it is answered. During the next day, a heavy rainstorm
comes and completely wrecks the garden that circles the church and damages the
building. The storm doesn’t stop until the middle of the afternoon allowing everyone
to come outside and see what happened.
“He prayed and this is how he was
answered. Years of hard work are gone in an instant and months of hard work are
given instead,” one person who sees the mess says.
“What did you expect? Micah threw trash
against the church years ago and made a similar mess back then. He’s gotten
what he deserves,” another responds.
Despite the mess, Micah swallows
his anger and gets to work cleaning it up and doesn’t get done until twelve at
night. His critics that live nearby stay up to see if Micah will curse God or finally
quit his job.
Again, he prays in public, “You
treat your servants well and everything you give and do to them is a gift. I
see now that you have done this to me so that my penance for my past is done
and I appreciate it more than anything.”
Amazed at what they heard, Micah’s
critics wonder if he is stubbornly foolish or actually thankful and improved
somehow by what happened. Over the next couple of days, Micah’s strength begins
to fail him as his work and the weather gets to him and makes him sick.
“This church that is a house of
praise for You is damaged and in need of serious repair. Please, give me the
strength to finish the work you have given me so that Your will may be done on earth
as it is in Heaven,” Micah prays.
The next three days pass and Micah’s
condition worsens to the point where he must stay home to rest. During his
rest, few of the parishioners try to pick up where he left off, however, they
aren’t able to do too good of a job since they can’t dedicate as much time to
the care of the church as Micah can and the destruction of the church seems to
be an inevitability, especially since the weather is getting worse again.
“Lord, do not let your church fall.
I offer up my suffering in reparations for my sins, the sins of everyone in
town, and for whatever other purposes you can use it,” Micah prays
before coughing. “If it is my time to retire, then let it be and have someone
take my place. If you want me to rise from my bed and work on your church till I
die from exhaustion, then let it be. I give my life willingly.”
Those who hear Micah’s prayers were
going to mock him, but after hearing these prayers they decide to wait and see
what happens. A minute hardly passes until the church collapses and they laugh harder
than they ever have before.
“What a joke! This guy’s prayers
seem to do more harm than good,” one person says as they talk among themselves.
“As if prayer ever did those
religious folk any good anyway.”
“Well, I say good riddance for our
sake and theirs.”
Micah’s condition worsens the next
day. The few parishioners at the church move away from the village or lose
their faith while the only priest retires and dies the same day. Meanwhile, no one close to Micah can help him, and those who want to are sick
like he is. He lays down on his bed half starved to death and thirsting not
only for drink but answers.
With a dried voice, he prays, “Are
you there? Have you heard any of my prayers? Were you there at all? I prayed
once for my family’s conversion, but they cursed Your name till their deaths,
so they probably weren’t saved. Even my faithful religious friends turned on
You after tragedy struck and left them to a slow and painful end. Now more of
Your faithful are leaving. Was this part of Your plan? Was this part of some
sick joke to give us hope and to show us that there is none? Are we all
forsaken? Answer me this once, if I may deserve at least one answer.”
A calming cold darkness overcomes
Micah. In this darkness, he feels what feels like death overcoming him,
however, this feeling then becomes closer to the feeling he had when he first
embraced the faith.
“Micah,” a familiar yet strange
voice says.
“Is that you, Lord?”
“Hold onto your faith, your
connection to Me for just a little longer for your just reward.”
“And what reward would that be?
Death? I have done so many things in Your name, tried to do Your will perfectly,
praised You to no end, and done penance for myself and others. Why have you continuously
let me fall and fail?”
“My will can still be done even in
your failure and sometimes requires it to humble you or for something greater
to happen as you are about to see.”
The morning sun rises and fills the
room with light. There’s a knock at Micah’s door before a group of three people
enter it. They care for his wounds and explain themselves.
“We saw how your faith changed you
and how you never gave up no matter what happened to you, so we thought that
your faith must be true,” one of them explains. “The church may be in ruin, but
we can build it back up again and make it better than it was before. Let us
know what we have to do.”
These strangers that Micah becomes
fast friends with build up the wreckage of a church and take care of him
while he is sick. He soon returns to full health and high spirits and helps
these strangers build the church better than it was before. Seeing the faith
and determination of these people cause everyone in the village to consider
going to church and learning their beliefs. The church becomes so popular and
talked about that the diocese sends a new priest to hold masses and is
personally visited by the bishop who blesses it. Renewed by current events,
Micah thanks God for his trials and sufferings that helped create this
awakening of faith and prays that God picks up everyone who constantly falls and
has suffered like him and to be patient in waiting for the hidden reward and
wisdom found in it.