A True Heart's Test: Chapter 5 – Having Heart vs Being Heartless

Chapter 5 – Having Heart vs Being Heartless

The light from around us subsides as my eyes get used to it. Eleazar and I find ourselves on a mountain that seems like an elaborate marketplace with different kinds of vendors ranging from farmers to blacksmiths to butchers. For some reason, there are also helpers that travel on carts from place to place to help with whatever the vendor needs from cleaning their storefront or transporting their goods from one place to another on the mountain.

“What is this place?” I ask.

“This is an amazing place for you to start anew and make the most of your Heart Absolute ability,” Eleazar says.

“What are you talking about?”

“This mountain is a place many people gather such as community service workers to either get noticed or work in this center of trade in this region. Many people across this land come here for trade and the shelter that the people that live on this humongous mountain provide. I’ll tell your parents that you’re here and get what you need to start off strong here. I’m sure they’ll accept you when you get a recommendation from my office.”

It can’t be…

“No, no, no!”

Looking around, I find the blacksmith and run towards it.

“Where are you going? What’s wrong?” Eleazar says while following me.

“Shut up and stop following me! Stay away!”

Entering the blacksmith’s shop, I leap over the tables, grab a sword, and am about to fall on it until the blacksmith stops me along with his other workers in the shop. They try to tell me to stop and the reasons why I shouldn’t take my own life, but I don’t listen as I fight them off and try to keep stabbing myself. Eleazar enters the shop and is the one to take away the sword while the blacksmith and his workers restrain me.

“What’s wrong with you, Cornelia?” Eleazar asks me.

“Shut up! You don’t understand! I don’t want to live this life!” I say.

“Why not? It’s meaningful and honorable. It’s a life you’re meant to live. This is what you’ve been waiting for where you can truly become who you’re meant to be!”

“No, it isn’t! You don’t know me at all.”

“I’m your best friend. Of course I-”

“No, you aren’t! I hate you! I hate everything about you and you never shut up enough to realize it!”

Something in Eleazar’s expression seems to finally listen to me.

“…you don’t mean that.”

“I do! I hate you! I hate my parents, I hate all the people I’ve worked for, and I hate the Absolute for wasting my time! I can’t believe that it put me on this journey with you just for a reminder. I won’t believe it. I refuse to! If the Absolute won’t give me what’s due to me, then I’ll take it for myself.”

As I’m saying all of this, I haven’t noticed my body changing. My entire body is now naked and white with a large heart shaped hole in my chest with a black heart floating in the center. In addition, one of my arms and both of my legs are now black. The only thing that hasn’t changed as much is my one arm that has my bracelets on them and even this has changed with my middle finger being white and blade-like now. This appearance has scared away the blacksmith and his workers who have grabbed their nearby weapons and surround me.

“Cornelia, listen to me,” Eleazar says.

“No, you listen to me now,” I say while holding out my black arm.

Black energy emanates from my black arm and I can feel it touch the hearts of everyone around me. Through this new power of mine, I can feel their doubts, fears, and wants to do something else than what they are doing. Taking advantage of this, I bend their will to listen to me except for Eleazar who is resistant. The blacksmith and his workers are now behind me and face down Eleazar who is backing away and out of the shop.

“Cornelia…you have to stop,” he says with an arm out.

“Stop? I like this new ability of mine. It’s not exactly what I thought I wanted, but it meets my needs and I’m keeping it,” I say.

“You’re being conceited. You’re not being yourself. This power isn’t you.”

“And who are you to define that? I will define myself.”

“You can’t do that. Only the Absolute knows who you truly are.”

“I don’t care about the Absolute anymore. It never cared about me, to begin with.” I pick up Eleazar by the neck and squeeze his neck. “If you trust the Absolute so much, then surely you will be saved.”

I then throw Eleazar down the mountain seeing him violently hit the large rocks on the way down. Looks like the Absolute deemed you not worth saving. I don’t see his body now that it’s fallen far away and into some bushes and tall grass, but even if he ends up teleporting and coming back, I won’t mind killing him with my own hands. Everyone around me starts staring and getting their weapons, runs, or hides in fear. With my new ability, I take control of their hearts and find that my control can spread from person to person when they come into contact with one another and the more people under my control that surround a person, the easier it is to take control of their hearts. Many are now under my control with very few managing to get away since I sense their pain and take advantage of it. It makes sense because of the jobs they have and all the pain they go through and get little to no respect in return. My life’s goal has now been revealed to me.

“Together, we will free the world from the chains of hard labor and get our just rewards!” I say, “It is said that the Absolute knows you best, but who really knows you better than yourself? Is this fate of working till your death really the best? I don’t think so. We will spread the good news of being conceited as the better option and free people from the chains of the Absolute!”

Everyone around me cheers and some of them even begin to look like me with heart shaped holes in their chest though they also grow black crowns on their head. They start gathering their weapons and horses as we mobilize for war and the spreading of our truth. When one of my supporters comes close to me with a shield, I take a better look at myself and see that one of my eyes is completely grey, I have black wings on my back, and parts of my hair have blackened and raised to form a pseudo crown. Yes, I think this look suits me. I grab a map and plot my army’s course to a nearby settlement where we can get more people. Once everyone is together, I fly to the front at the bottom of the mountain.

“Forward! I, Cornelia Queen of the Commoners, will lead us to victory. We will finally take what is rightfully ours!” I say to the cheers of my soldiers.

We mobilize and hit our first destination not long after. At the settlement, we take what we want and influence more people to join us even if they resist. Having so many hearts under my control feels unnatural and wonderful at the same time. Their pain is mine and mine is theirs. I feel what they do and we understand each other. When we’re ready with more turning conceited, we move to our next location. Since I’m feeling good, I pick a city not too far from here to go to since I want the Church to pay for its teachings.

Along the way to the city, we come across outposts and smaller settlements that we take control of and rest at when needed. With more people, the stronger I feel and the stronger they feel, the stronger I get. Our numbers grow and grow until I feel that taking the city will be easy even when I overlook it. This city looks like a lot of the other major cities with heart shaped designs on the major buildings and Churches. Surely, this will be a good place to be the home of my new kingdom. Once I take it, more people will become conceited and see that it’s superior to the Heart Absolute abilities. I have so many soldiers and supporters behind me that I choose to send all of them to the city at the same time to surround it from all angles before going into it.

The assault goes well until we reach the innermost walls of the city where my army fights against many who have Heart Absolute abilities. For the past day, those with Heart Absolute abilities can be overwhelmed with numbers, but this many can be a problem. It’s no real issue. There are more people in this city that are hiding that I can use to add to my forces. While doing this, I come across a young girl who walks out of the dark. She wears simple teal robes and brown boots.

“Have you come to challenge me or join my army?” I ask her.

“Neither because you will challenge a servile,” she says.

“You can summon serviles? How unique of you at such a young age to have a Heart Absolute ability like that. What makes you think one will come to save you when the Absolute has abandoned your city?”

“We are not abandoned. Face your own guardian servile.”

Time looks to be stopped all already me. I try to use my abilities, but nothing happens. My wings don’t even allow me to fly anymore.

“Cease your sin,” a voice says from behind me.

Turning around, I see a being made of equipment that I’ve used such as dusters, garden forks, and even dirty hands. Some of these objects also comprise its wings.

“Or what?” I say to it.

“You will be lost forever.”

“I will not! I’ll be remembered forever!”

With one of my black arms, I try influencing the servile only for it to shatter. After this, I try my legs and then my wings all of which shatter leaving me with nothing but my arm that still has my bracelets on them. Even with this, my attacks don’t affect the servile though I still try to fight it.

“This won’t accomplish anything,” the servile says.

“I don’t care! I’ll make something happen with my own will!” I say.

“Can you make the water feel dry? Can you make fire feel wet? Can you make the darkness brighten up the sun? You cannot do something that is false.”

“I got this power without the Absolute’s help. I can do anything I put my heart to!”

“You were only allowed your abilities because the Absolute allowed it and it is only an inverse of your Heart Absolute ability. Instead of being able to serve many, you now make others serve you.”

“That’s right because I deserve it after suffering so much in life. The only thing I was ever given for my efforts were these bracelets, which the Absolute had no part in.”

“False again. You were given those bracelets and allowed to keep them because it was one of the times you went out of your way to help someone without thinking about a reward. Look at how this arm of yours is the only thing that’s living. It’s supposed to remind you of the humility that’s truly you.”

“Don’t talk to me as if you know me better than myself.”

“Then think about others. You can feel their emotions and their pain. Do you think they’re happy like this? Don’t you feel the same dead chill that inhabits their bodies and yours?”

I do feel it. Focusing on it makes me feel it more intensely for some reason. A pain that goes beyond their want to be repaid for their efforts. I feel their hearts yearning for something else. They yearn to be true. It’s a feeling that their hearts have and mine.

“Okay, okay. I see your point. You have your victory over me. Finish me off and end my sinful life.”

“I am not your executioner. I am your guardian servile. My victory is achieved when the Absolute’s will is done. This includes your redemption and salvation.”

“I’m sorry then. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I’ve been so selfish that I didn’t realize of all the people I’ve hurt and the love I’ve shunned.”

“Rise then and become who you truly are, Cornelia.”

My appearance changes back to normal though it doesn’t seem to be as normal since my hair looks a lighter brown and I feel lighter too. My connection to the others has ceased and it gets quiet in the city after a few seconds. The girl who showed me my guardian servile gives me brown rags to clothe my nakedness and then hugs me.

“I know what it’s like to lose yourself. I’m glad that you came back to your senses,” the girl says.

“Thank you,” I say while holding back my tears, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You should leave before the guards come. Go back home. There should be horses you can use near the gates of the city.”

“Thank you again. I’ll try to repay you someday.”

“You don’t have to. Seeing you back to normal is enough for me now go.”

I hurry, find a horse, and use the map I have to go back home. It takes me half a day of traveling, but when I get back home early in the morning, I’m hesitant to approach my house and think about leaving. That is until I see them at the window before coming outside. They call out my name and I get off the horse and meekly walk to them with my head down expecting to be scolded. Instead, they embrace me while crying and saying how much they miss me.

“I’m sorry for wasting so much time. I had my Heart Absolute ability all along. Heh, it’s tacky I know. I’m sorry that I can’t be anything else than a community service worker,” I say.

“That’s fine! You always were a hard worker that had the admiration of the people who apricated your work,” my mother says.

“There’s no shame in your work, Cornelia. You only needed to put your heart into it, which is something that I always told you to do. Regardless, let’s get you inside and something to eat and you can tell us all about your adventures. Where’s Eleazar by the way?” my father says.

“Umm. That’s going to take a lot to explain.”

After going inside and eating a bit, I tell my parents everything that happened including what I did to Eleazar and what I did while conceited. Even though they are concerned, they are happy that I came to my senses and learned my lesson, which I’m surprised by.

“Next time you feel that no one is appreciating you, talk to us. We’re your parents and supposed to listen and care for you. I’m sorry we caused you so much grief,” my mother says.

“I’m sorry for doing the same to you,” I confess.

Speaking about confessions, I go to confession after eating and the priest has the same reaction my parents had and says similar things.

“You’re a good person, Cornelia. No matter what happens, remember the love of the Absolute, the love of your family, the love of the neighbors around you, and you’ll never lose yourself again,” the priest adds as advice after giving me my penance.

Despite this being advice that I know, past events have shown that I need to be constantly reminded of the basics, so I thank the priest for it. For the next couple of days, I try to appreciate them as best I can. I even dress differently by wearing lighter colors, wearing a brown dress, a white apron, and light brown boots. In addition, I also tie my hair up for a different look. To be honest, the change of thinking every day as a gift and recognizing the small, good things in life that the Absolute gives makes a big difference. Work is actually bearable now, I appreciate the compliments and little gifts that the people I work with give me, and I hardly feel bitter.

Everything seems to be getting better for me until soldiers from the Kingdom of Simbiosi come strolling into town with Caleb and Kyla leading them. Oh yeah. I probably wasn’t going to get away with what I did because I said I was sorry and did penance. I hear them calling my name and present myself to them without resisting arrest.

“For your sentence, you will be serving as a house cleaner for our castle for ten years,” Kyla says.

“Really?” I ask in surprise expecting something worse.

“Shush. Do you know how hard it was to lessen your sentence? It’s thanks to us knowing you plus your boyfriend’s help that you’re getting off easy,” Caleb says.

“Boyfriend?” A face I thought I would never see again comes out of the crowd of soldiers on horseback. It’s Eleazar! He’s all banged up, one of his arms is broken, and his face is scarred, but he’s alive! “Eleazar! I’m…I’m sorry for what I did to you and-”

“I know you’re sorry, and don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re back to being truly yourself,” he says with a smile.

I’m about to be put in a prison cart before I hear my name being called out. Turning around, I see the boy who made me the bracelets I wear every day.

“What? You have another boyfriend?” Caleb says.

“Oh, shut up. This is the boy that made these bracelets for me. Can I talk to him before I go?” I ask.

“Sure thing,” Kyla says.

Going to the boy, I see him holding a crown made of flowers in his hands.

He’s shy to talk to me at first until he holds up the crown and says, “I’ve wanted to give this to you for a while, but was never brave enough to do so and since you’re going away for a while, I thought I’d give it you now.”

“Thank you so much. I love it just like my bracelets.”

I bend my head down and the boy puts the crown of flowers on my head. Since his head is close, I give him a kiss on the forehead as thanks, which makes his face turn red.

“Umm. Thank you too.” Before I go, I hear the boy running after me again. “Excuse me! Can I go with her? I’ll serve my own sentence as long as I get to be with her.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” Caleb says.

The boy runs up to Eleazar and hits him in his injured arm, which I can’t help but laugh at.

“There! I assaulted someone. That deserves some kind of punishment.”

“Okay, okay! Get inside the cart with your girlfriend.”

“I wish you were that bold,” Kyla says to Caleb.

“When am I not?!”

When he’s let in the cart, I give the boy a hug and another kiss to which he blushes again. He says goodbye to his parents who are somewhat upset, to say the least at him. Honestly, I didn’t expect my life to be this way and what I wanted, but it is. I guess the Absolute really does know people better than they know themselves. I’m truly happy for the first time in a while and smile and look out at the sun as I await a bright future.

 

The End