Memory Vision (Inspired by a dream)

Memory Vision (Inspired by a dream)

I fear offending God above all. Not only can it lead to Hell, but it is the breaking of the most important relationship of your life. God sustains us all and helps us grow closer to Him every day of our lives. This is why I fear being afflicted by the condition known as memory vision. Memory vision is a condition that makes you live within your memories with the present being a distant voice. You can hardly control yourself in this state and need to be tied down or you’ll be walking into danger without knowing it because you’ll be moving and acting the way you remember you did in your memories. I know mortal sins require full knowledge and consent of the will, but venial sins are evil too and can weaken your soul to do even worse things. The Church theorizes that you will be excused for your actions because you have no control in the condition, but it’s just a theory.

On top of this, you don’t have control over the things that you live through. If you sinned or did or said something regrettable, you will repeat the words and motions. Memory vision is a terrible condition with no cure. The best thing you can do is be given to a testing facility so researchers can study the condition. Your loved ones will be compensated as long as you’re alive and have the condition, but the money is hardly enough to replace you. It’s safe to say that people are still wondering why God allows people to get this condition.

Getting the condition varies. You could get it by getting into an accident, working yourself too hard, not getting enough sleep, old age, and severe damage to the head. I’ve done everything I can to be healthy to not get this terrifying condition. The only mistake I think I can make is fearing it too much. This is the mistake I end up making and get myself into a car accident.

“Is something wrong, bro? You don’t look too well?” Matt asks.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get enough sleep,” I say.

How could I sleep? The festival on the avenue today is a nostalgia trip. I have so many good memories of being here with my family and friends. Memories that seem to pass by as I look down the avenue.  Actually, are they passing in front of me? They seem like it. I look behind me and see nothing but a blur. My hands and legs seem to copy and paste itself everywhere that I move them, and yet, I can’t move from where I am.

“He’s going to have to be restrained,” I hear a distant voice say.

“Can we keep him at home?” a quiet but familiar woman’s voice asks.

“I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have straps strong enough to hold him down. There’s also the fact of seeing him in his condition every day.”

“Come on, bro,” Matt says.

“I’m coming.”

“You breathing in that nostalgic air?”

“There’s nothing else like it.”

“I know. Pretty girls, good food, and the smell of a city that has actually washed itself.”

“Don’t tell me that smelling girls is a reason you like it. Get a girlfriend already.”

“You know I’ve been trying my best.”

“And any girl would be blessed to have you assuming you don’t act creepy anymore.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a complete gentleman. Just watch and see.”

We enter a small shop that sells leather jackets, black jeans, and other clothing items that look like they would perfectly fit a stereotypical biker. The people inside including the cashier look like bikers as well. I don’t blame them for the choice in style as I like the style as well even though I don’t ride a motorcycle. I don’t even ride my regular mountain bike as much as I used to. Matt and I stay in line after he picks something that looks like it’s something for a bike. I can hardly see what it is. It’s blurry as if it’s censored for being lewd.

“Will this be all?” the cashier says.

“What does it look like, smart guy?” Matt says back.

“Excuse me?”

Uh oh. What are you doing, Matt?

“What I got is what I got. You gonna ring me up or keep wasting my time?”

“Sir, I can beat you down where you stand if you keep acting rude.”

The cashier and Matt have an intense stare off. If things get hairy, then I’ll have to pull him out of here. There’s a monstrous inhuman face that keeps popping out of the cashier’s face as if his anger is manifesting.

“Matt, you snarky brother, how are you doing?” the cashier says as the two hug.

“Fine brother. Just fine. I heard you needed this for your bike, so I’m getting it so you can ride home safely today.”

“Thanks, bro. You’re the best.”

Whew! That’s a relief.

“Matt, you know I hate it when you joke around like that,” I say, which makes both Matt and his friend laugh.

When he jokes around like this with people, it always seems like there’s going to be a fight. He’s careful with how he speaks with people who we aren’t close with, but still. It gets me on edge when I don’t know what’s happening. Time seems to pass by faster until we exit the store. I can clearly see that I’m moving, but it feels like I’m walking into a wall. Everything around me looks blurry too and fresh smelling air now smells like a hospital.

“You see? He breaks right through belts and normal restraints. This is why it’s better for him to stay at a caretaker facility. You will be generously paid for the time he stays there, and you can visit him as many times as you want,” a distant voice says.

“He’s my son. I can’t just let him go,” the quiet woman’s voice says.

“I know, but this is the best option for him. I don’t need to remind you of the various cases of people walking into traffic or harming themselves and others.”

“Okay, okay. What do I have to sign?”

Where am I now? Everything is so dark around me. Woah! I’m standing on a narrow hill that I can hardly keep my balance on. There’s nothing but darkness below me-what’s that? There’s something climbing up. What is that?! It’s some kind of black human-like monster with a mouth where its eyes are supposed to be. It has sharp teeth in its two mouths and arms that look like blades. Ah! It’s trying to bite my feet off! It’s trying to go after my legs! I can’t hold my balance here and dodge them at the same time. AH!!!

Huh? What now? I fell into the darkness and now I’m back at school. This is a worse nightmare. I think I’ll go back to sleep-nevermind. The bell rings and it’s time to go to another class. Huh. Everything around me seems strange. I know where I’m going, but I barely recognize where I am. This looks like the school I go to; however, everything looks rearranged.

Who are those people? I feel like I recognize them and not know them at the same time. Oh, I get it now. I’m in the dream version of my school. I’m in a dream! That means I can do whatever I want without any consequence. With a swing of my hand, I blow a gust of wind through the school. I pull the doors and lockers open with a flick of my wrist.

You know what? I hate this place. Let it all come down! I put both of my hands in the air and bring them down to collapse the school on itself. Ha! The stupid school gets what it deserves. Oh, wait. My friends. They’re okay. I command them to be okay. Wait, huh? Bodies start coming out of the rubble as if they were surfacing to the water. Are those…

“Why did you do it?”

“You didn’t think about what would happen to us.”

“To other people.”

“Why?”

“Are you satisfied?”

“Was it worth it?”

No, stop it! I hate this part. I have to put them out of their misery. Maybe I can stop it. I pick up the rubble and crush them with it. I can’t do anything. Be quiet! My arms are out of my control. Rest in peace! Why did I ever think this was the right choice? Why was I so full of myself back then?

“You’re going to be okay.”

Mom…is that you?

“I’ll visit you and you’ll always be in our prayers.”

Wait. I can hear people talking to me. What are they saying? Why is it making me sad? I think they’re leaving now. Please, don’t go. I don’t want to be alone like this. Not in this darkness. I remember it all too well from my childhood. It felt like there was no hope and that I should take my own life. I didn’t care about Heaven or Hell. I just wanted the pain to be over.

But then, I started to care. I was curious about God and what the fuss was about and started to care after I read more about Him and cared even more after listening to various people talk about Him. I almost forgot not to worry or get upset. He’s kept me alive and has given me so many second chances that it would be a waste to give up now. All I can do now in my condition is trust in Him to bring me out of it. Whatever happens at the end of the day. Whatever happens to me. I will trust in You and commend my spirit into Your hands to do with whatever You wish.

The End