Chapter 3 – The Good Traitor
Back when this civil war started, I was ready to fight however long it would take to win, but now I feel too weary to fight. It’s not because my faith in God has lessened or because I know of a better solution than fighting. It’s just that years of killing and conquering people who are supposed to be my brothers and sisters in Christ have been weighing me down bit by bit and I’m only just taking note of it. I’m not the only person this is happening to as I’ve heard of other Dogmatists who feel the same and want the war to end. This has gotten to the point where protests have started in Dogmatist held planets. Even planets held by the Ecclesia have started protesting the war, and still, the civil war goes on.
I would stop fighting and join the protests, but I don’t think that’s what God would want me to do even as I’m deployed to destroy the planet where I was born. On top of attacking my homeworld, my drop point is the town I grew up in since it’s the closest place to the air defense base that we need to destroy to clear the way for our ships. I’m part of a division of troops that drops from pods in the sky and onto the battlefield of planets. Our pods are dropped from our ship as it engages a squad of ships. As we drop, our pods pierce through one of the Ecclesia ships, and I could swear that I saw people through my pod’s cameras as my pod pierces through the ship. Using my pod’s cameras, I see that the ship we’ve gone through has been destroyed by us going through it. It’s impressive to be sure, but the thrill of it has been lost on me since I want to get this battle over with.
My squad lands on the planet and in my hometown. As soon as I hit the ground, my pod’s door immediately bursts open, and I instinctively rush out with my rifle loaded with explosive rounds and point at the nearest target, but I don’t pull the trigger. My hometown is defended by its citizens and guards who I know every one of. All of a sudden, I forget how to shoot even as the town’s defenders shoot me to no effect because of my juggernaut armor. Everyone else in my squad has to do the shooting for me as they gun down everyone I know. They advance forward while continuing to clear the town.
“Iscariot, is your armor locking up on you or something?” one of my squadmates asks as he notices that I haven’t moved.
“N-no, I’m fine,” I say as I catch up with the rest of the squad.
What’s wrong with me? I’ve helped destroy dozens of towns and cities, but now I’m getting cold feet because I’m facing people I know? If I’m fighting this war on the wrong side, why didn’t I recognize it earlier? Did God leave me blind or did I blind myself until now and God is opening my eyes now as I step over the bodies of friends and family? It’s a good thing they didn’t recognize me when I arrived because I wouldn’t want them to know my betrayal.
They knew I disappeared one day with a squad of St. Michael the Archangel’s Legion. I don’t think they suspected that I betrayed them because I thought the Dogmatist’s message to be true. While I walk through the town, memories of old pass by me as if they’re in the present. Memories of youth, happiness, and hard times. This trance of memories makes me forget that I’m in a battle until I reach the stairs of a church that we’re about to go into. The church has metal barriers protecting it and I hear mumblings from inside.
“Iscariot!” the squad captain says.
“Yes, sir?” I say as I’m waking up from my haze.
“I know you’re a loyal soldier of the Church. You’ve helped us win many battles and fighting against people from your home can be jarring for you, but now is the time for you to decide. Inside, there are people saying an imperfect form of the mass that disrespects our Lord Jesus. I need you to blow everything up in there to pieces. Don’t worry about blowing up the bread and wine since they can’t be transformed into our Lord because of the blasphemy they are committing. Are you ready?”
“I’m…I’m ready.”
“Good. You two, cut open the door and cover us while Iscariot and I stop the ceremony.”
“Yes, sir!” the two say.
Two of my squad begin breaching the door with their laser cutters that manage to cut through the barriers, but the barriers have to be cut twice since there are two layers to them. The captain and I enter the church to see a priest handing out communion to a congregation of about twenty people. Even though I’m ready to go in, my finger feels repulsed to touch the trigger on my rifle.
“Stop this satanic ceremony, repent now, and we will give you a swift death,” the captain says.
The feeling in my body begins to go back to normal as I’m finally able to put my finger on my rifle’s trigger. What is God trying to tell me to do? Some of the congregation gets on their knees in front of the captain while others keep moving to receive communion as if we aren’t here.
“If you wish to go to Hell, then so be it,” the captain says as he raises his gun.
In response, I shoot him with my rifle’s explosive bullets tearing through his helmet and blowing up his head. Instinctively, I call for the other two in our squad to come in and I shoot them as well. Confused by my actions, everyone looks at me and gives thanks to God.
“Stay here, finish your mass, then leave when you see the opportunity. I’ll hold them off,” I say as I exit the church.
I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I feel free. This feels and seems like the right thing to do. Outside the church’s entrance, I find my other squadmates and shoot them like the rest. Landing ships that were supposed to secure the area start coming down and I shoot these down as well. If landing ships have gotten past the planetary defense squad above, then either the ships are destroyed, or the Dogmatists are making another risky move just like when they sent my squad down. It’s hard to think about what I’m supposed to do since I didn’t think through my decision. I gave my will over to God and this is the situation I let Him put me in. If that’s how it’s supposed to be, then let it be done according to thy will, Lord.
More landing ships and drop pods along with some fighter ships descend on the town. I try to shoot down as many as I can with my anti-aircraft missiles on my back, but my ammo eventually runs out, and pods start landing in the town. The admiral of the ship I came from, Admiral Peter, comes out of one of the pods along with people who are in armor similar to mine and that of my squad’s.
“Having problems in space, sir?” I say with my rifle pointed at the admiral.
“Yes, and it’s no thanks to your treachery. You live up to your name, Iscariot.” The admiral and his troops point their guns at me as they begin to surround me.
“So do you, Peter.”
“I haven’t denied Christ like you have.”
“Yes, you have.”
“No, I haven’t!”
“Your rebellion is a war against God’s Church.”
“No, it isn’t! It’s a war against a false church.”
A nearby rooster comes out of nowhere and caws on cue. Huh. I don’t remember any roosters in town.
“Three denials and a rooster cawing on the third denial. I think God is trying to tell you something, Peter.”
“And I think He will be telling you something when I hang you from a tree.”
Using all the explosive ammo I have left in my rifle, I fight against the admiral and his men while my armor takes considerable damage. Its limited mobility is being a real pain now, but I do manage to beat them, however, more ships descend on the planet from the other Dogmatist ships. My armor is badly damaged and I’m all out of ammo, so I quickly run to the corpses to pick up their guns. I pick up a gun and point it at a descending landing ship just in time to watch it get blown up by fighter ships from the Ecclesia. The fighter ships below up whatever landing ships dare a landing attempt while chasing the rest back into orbit. Behind me, the people come out from the church to cheer and congratulate me.
Of all the people in the crowd to approach me, my parents come to me and my father says, “Thank you so much for turning on those traitors to help us, sir!”
“No, you shouldn’t thank me. All I’m good at is being a traitor.”
“What are you talking about? I can see that you’re a good man who listens when God is talking to him.”
My father’s words strike through my heart as I hold back the feeling to cry. If only he knew who he was saying that too. Might as well show him as I take my damaged helmet off to show them. They’re all shocked at first then elated. My parents, family, and friends hug me and tell me how glad they are to see me.
“You’re not mad? I ran away from home. I’ve killed many of the faithful and even let people close to me die,” I say as I feel unable to control my tears.
“No, we’re not mad. We’re glad to see that you’re finally home.”
An Ecclesia landing ship comes down with a squad of people in St. Michael the Archangel Legion’s armor led by my former captain. My former captain looks at me with that weird look that he always gives that makes it hard to read him, so I bow my head and keep it bowed.
“It’s been a long time, Iscariot, and it looks like you haven’t stopped causing trouble,” the captain says.
“Sir, I’ve sinned so much that I won’t make any excuses for my actions. Whatever punishment I deserve for my actions, I will gladly take them.”
A moment of silence passes until the captain says, “Singlehandedly defending your home and turning back to the right side is enough to pay your debts in my book. I only ask that you rejoin us in the fight and take your place back in the Legion.”
“Are you sure, sir?”
“Yes, I am. I don’t hand out penances. Ask the priest for that after your confession.”
Once the town is cleaned up and a funeral is had for the deceased both ally and enemy, a party is thrown, which is probably the biggest party I’ve ever seen this town throw. After that, I take up my armor of St. Michael the Archangel’s Legion and rejoin my captain’s squad as I go back to serving the true Church as penance for my sins. I didn’t expect that this would happen today nor did I expect to live after my betrayal. I guess I should’ve because of God’s unending mercy that’s available for all even for traitors like me.
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